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Funny things your Children have said.....

Bron357

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 22, 2014
Messages
4,465
Too much doom and gloom.
DH is now a sulky teenager but when she was wee she was a total character.
Favourite moments
Age 2 as Daddy says time for a bath “Daddy, you are ruining my life”.
Age 3 as we are driving in the car. “Mummy, when you’re dead I’ll be able to sit in the front won’t I? And when Daddy’s dead I can drive!
Age 3 at Childcare the toddlers were asked to draw theIr favourite animal. Apparently DD told off her friend “Don’t you know, Unicorns are mythical creatures”
Age 3 re sharing “Why do I have to share my toys” which I replied ”because it’s nice and a good thing to do“ which then led to mealtimes with her placing her vegetables onto our plates with a “I am sharing these with you” ... smile....
age 4 me questioning if her clothing choice as DD was wearing gum boots with a princess dress and a cowboy hat “This is my fashion, I don’t like your pants but do I say anything to you?”
page 4 at the playground wanting and waiting for a turn on the swings “Hurry up, we don’t have all day you know”. And when an older boy arrived and tried to push in “Back off or I’ll scream and cry and your mother will come over and take you home”
those were the days.
little munchkin.
 

SandyinAnaheim

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 8, 2014
Messages
1,112
Too much doom and gloom.
DH is now a sulky teenager but when she was wee she was a total character.
Favourite moments
Age 2 as Daddy says time for a bath “Daddy, you are ruining my life”.
Age 3 as we are driving in the car. “Mummy, when you’re dead I’ll be able to sit in the front won’t I? And when Daddy’s dead I can drive!
Age 3 at Childcare the toddlers were asked to draw theIr favourite animal. Apparently DD told off her friend “Don’t you know, Unicorns are mythical creatures”
Age 3 re sharing “Why do I have to share my toys” which I replied ”because it’s nice and a good thing to do“ which then led to mealtimes with her placing her vegetables onto our plates with a “I am sharing these with you” ... smile....
age 4 me questioning if her clothing choice as DD was wearing gum boots with a princess dress and a cowboy hat “This is my fashion, I don’t like your pants but do I say anything to you?”
page 4 at the playground wanting and waiting for a turn on the swings “Hurry up, we don’t have all day you know”. And when an older boy arrived and tried to push in “Back off or I’ll scream and cry and your mother will come over and take you home”
those were the days.
little munchkin.
That's a smart little cookie! She was very witty!
 

Elizabeth35

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 24, 2011
Messages
531
My son was age 5-6 ,we were in a pet store that had bunnies that were having bunny sex. A younger, maybe 4 YO girl asked her Dad what they were doing. He, of course, said the bunnies were playing.

My son piped up and said 'Oh no, they're mating, that's how they make babies. My gerbils do that. The boy gerbil chases the girl gerbil and then he jumps on her and shakes his butt real fast'. The poor Dad. He was visibly shaken and could not get out of there quickly enough.
 

GliderPoss

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
2,573
My 7 yr old niece watching me put sunscreen on at the beach. Looks critically at my tummy (not exactly flat!) and asks "Aunty >>> have you had babies yet?" :lol: I said "If I had, where do you think they would be now...?" That stumped her!
 

YadaYadaYada

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Feb 2, 2016
Messages
6,630
There was a little girl at our youngest son's kindergarten orientation that had a skin disorder. At dinner he referred to her as the girl with polka dots. Well that started a conversation about differences and how we need to be considerate of them so we don't hurt someone's feelings.

Me: Just think if you had one arm and someone was making fun of you, wouldn't that make you feel sad?

J: No, I would just punch them with my other arm :shock:

When our oldest was about six I asked him what do girls have that boys don't?
His answer? Lip gloss!

Also from our youngest:

"I don't like going to church (mind you we have gone maybe 3x and he is six now) because you guys get to go up and they give you food and you get to drink wine but I don't get any and I'm hungry"
 

ItsMainelyYou

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 27, 2014
Messages
804
DS made me a mother's day book at school in first grade that contained a segment on his greatest fear which was.............vegans.

DS was a questing child and had an interest in Buddhism at age 7... so one night my DD aged 4 asks me, " Mem, are dad and brub boobists?" Her dad hears her and says "Your brother might not be sure yet, but I most definitely am."

DD age 4: wanted to be Prince Charming from Shrek, because he had better hair and when asked she said,"I don't need saving." Would also go around at opportune moments with, "Come, Chauncey." dramatic hair swish and make her exit.
 

jaysonsmom

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 13, 2004
Messages
3,374
When my son was 2-3 we told him mommy and daddy were going on a trip to Cancun, and he was going to stay with grandpa and grandma.....he told his preschool teachers mommy and daddy were going to be butterflies in 2 weeks because I’m his head, he thought we were going to
Cancun = coccoon!
 

Bron357

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 22, 2014
Messages
4,465
My son was age 5-6 ,we were in a pet store that had bunnies that were having bunny sex. A younger, maybe 4 YO girl asked her Dad what they were doing. He, of course, said the bunnies were playing.

My son piped up and said 'Oh no, they're mating, that's how they make babies. My gerbils do that. The boy gerbil chases the girl gerbil and then he jumps on her and shakes his butt real fast'. The poor Dad. He was visibly shaken and could not get out of there quickly enough.
My DD told a wee friend that babies don’t from a shop. Because if they did you could return them and get your money back.
Also DD at an ATM machine... Mummy is there a small person in there giving out the money? I’m small, I could do that. I would bring the extra home with me ( older cousin worked part time at a Bistro and would often bring home uneaten steak for his dog).
 

Queenie60

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Sep 15, 2014
Messages
4,637
So....my son was about 8 years old. A bit of a background - my husband and daughter have very dark skin. It was MLK week at school and they spoke about Rosa Parks going to the back of the bus. My son was devastated about this and did not understand why Rosa was summonsed to the back of the bus. "Mom, dad and Chrissy are black and we would never force them to go to the back of the bus." He thought that his father and sister were black. So wonderful that our children did not grow up to see the color of ones skin, just that we were all equal and of one family. This is when Bob and I realized that we were doing something right! From the mouths of babes.
 

Jimmianne

Ideal_Rock
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Dec 9, 2013
Messages
6,245
These are wonderful gloom chasers. Bron, I feel for ya. Teens!!

We should also have a thread for “funny things your elderly parents have said”. LOL
The lack of filters at both ends of life can be highly amusing.
 

Austina

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Feb 24, 2017
Messages
4,510
When DS was about 5 or 6, around Christmas time they were rehearsing a nativity play and he said “Mummy, what’s a virgin” to which I replied “An Airline” :lol:
 

mellowyellowgirl

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
May 17, 2014
Messages
3,946
DS when he was 3

It was a boys day and he was always a handful for Daddy. He'd been atrocious that morning, one tantrum after another.

Hubby finally had it with him and told him he was to to cancel their sushi lunch.

DS *sobbing with tears running down his cheeks*: Daddy I want you to know what you'll always be the love of my life even though I'm not the love of yours.

***

DS when he was 4

We are not a religious family but it was Easter and Hubby explained to DS that Jesus died and came back to life.

DS: If Jesus rose from the dead he must be a bad guy because that means he's a zombie.

***

DS this year (7yo)

DS: Zzz didn't know what 6 x 6 was so I told him to do 6+6+6+6+6+6 and work his way up. But then he started counting with his fingers.

*Sighs loudly*

I must think of another way to approach his times tables.

M: Couldn't you just give him the answer little dude?

DS *looking all high and mighty*: Unlike you I have all the patience in the world and would like to go through the process with him.
 

OreoRosies86

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Dec 25, 2012
Messages
3,208
My little one had some gems:
I stepped into the living room in a one piece bathing suit because my brother was taking us out on his boat and my kiddo gasps and says “MOMMY! Put some pants on, there’s a mans here” which we all now frequently use as an expression to imply that someone is being untoward.

“See you later, crocodile” was another favorite.
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
38,716
Not funny so much as out of the mouths of babe. Here’s an email my niece sent me last year. Right after we lost our precious Francesca.




Hi Aunt Missy,

I heard Francesa died.
I am very sorry. I know you
loved her very much. She
was a beautiful, sweet cat
and if it wasn't for you she would
have died years before now,
when she was just a kitten.
I know you have given her a great life
and I'm sure Frankie appreciates
all your love and kindness
towards her. Dying is part of
Life, and nature, you can't prevent
it. You can only comfort, and that is just
What you did.

Love,
Alexa




Her sweet wise email made me cry. But this time they were grateful tears vs tears of pain.

ETA Alexa was 11 when she emailed this to me.
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
38,716
My sweet nieces with a baby calf. They adore animals with all their hearts.

836FA358-D059-4715-B845-D568F0D2FD99.jpeg
 

oodlesofpoodles

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Dec 29, 2017
Messages
221
Not funny so much as out of the mouths of babe. Here’s an email my niece sent me last year. Right after we lost our precious Francesca.




Hi Aunt Missy,

I heard Francesa died.
I am very sorry. I know you
loved her very much. She
was a beautiful, sweet cat
and if it wasn't for you she would
have died years before now,
when she was just a kitten.
I know you have given her a great life
and I'm sure Frankie appreciates
all your love and kindness
towards her. Dying is part of
Life, and nature, you can't prevent
it. You can only comfort, and that is just
What you did.

Love,
Alexa




Her sweet wise email made me cry. But this time they were grateful tears vs tears of pain.

ETA Alexa was 11 when she emailed this to me.
What a sweetheart!
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
38,716
What a sweetheart!
Thank you! She truly is. A soul of pure love and innocence. She would give you the shirt off her back. I’ve never seen anything like it. She’s such a good kid. And super smart. I’m not gonna brag anymore but she’s amazing.
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
38,716
My son had just learned to read and he was sounding out the CVS sign "Open 24 hours a day" and said "Oh my! They must be so tired!" I laughed and then explained shifts and that they didn't work the whole 24 hours. I giggled at that one for a while.
Lol love this! ❤
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
38,716
These are wonderful gloom chasers. Bron, I feel for ya. Teens!!

We should also have a thread for “funny things your elderly parents have said”. LOL
The lack of filters at both ends of life can be highly amusing.
Truth!
 

doberman

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Mar 2, 2012
Messages
1,944
I call my son Mr. Melodrama. At the age of 5 he had a cold and stayed home from school for a couple of days. My mother-in-law called and he informed her that he was "gravely ill" lol. When he got out of college I suggested med school. No, it takes too long he replied. I said that time just flies by and then he'd be done. "Thanks for wishing my life away Mom!"

He's now in med school.
 

natasha-cupcake

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Nov 16, 2017
Messages
1,116
When my twins were little, they were generally inseparable. They would often hug each other and say "Mommy, we love ourchothers!"

One day when my son was five, he asked for dessert when he had only eaten a small amount of his dinner. I told him that since he didn't eat his dinner, he couldn't possibly be hungry enough to have a dessert. He immediately replied "But mommy, my dinner chamber is full. It's my dessert chamber that's empty!"
 

YadaYadaYada

Ideal_Rock
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Feb 2, 2016
Messages
6,630
Just today I decided to give our older son an assignment, it was to find out about Abraham Lincoln and why he was important.

DH came home and because I knew our younger son heard our oldest son relaying information I wanted to see what he remembered.

"Abraham Lincoln was number 16" :lol: Like he was a football player!

I am loving all of these posts.

By the way the oldest is 13, the only way he has learned about any president is through reading, he is an avid reader. He is starting 8th grade and they haven't been taught one thing about the presidents :doh:
 

1ofakind

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 22, 2012
Messages
1,126
I love these stories...so adorable and funny!

Sorry this story has a few pieces of background pertinent later.
*We spoke age appropriately to our kids about their bodies and reproduction, using correct terms as much as possible without being overly graphic. They knew not to discuss these things with other kids as other parents may tell their kids different things.... like with Santa.
*DS was the first and only grandson on either side of the family and my FIL would joke about DS getting married and have kids to carry on the family name. DS has never been a fan of this idea.
*IL’s are EXTREMELY conservative and prudish....wouldn’t even say ‘breast’ in relation to breast cancer. I’ve been something for them to deal with for sure, lol.

Ok here we go. Kiddos are maybe 6&7. On the way to the airport to pick up the IL’s DS is already expecting Gpa to ask him about getting married and having kids. He asks why they don’t have more boys to carry on the family name. I explain that Gma is past the age to have kids....which leads to a simple conversation about men’s sperm being good for a long time but women stop making eggs. Everybody understands, It’s all good...poor DS though still feels the looming pressure of providing an eventual heir, but we all move on.
Fast forward to breakfast the next day. Kids and IL’s in the dining room and I’m making breakfast for all in the kitchen. DS comes in and asks if I have any more eggs. I look down and tell him that I’m making french toast and sausage for breakfast but if they want eggs I can do that. He looks back and says “Nooooo mom, Laaaadies Eggs. Do you have any more Ladies Eggs?” He stretched out the words as if I should have known.
Suddenly everything went into slow motion as I processed his real question and why he was asking. When I regain focus I hear my sweet little DD in the dining room explaining to her most certainly horrified Gpa that his sperm won’t get old and he can still make babies...., but it’s too late for Gma because she’s all out of eggs....and I don’t really know what happened from there. It was all a blur.

I can only guess that this all started because Gpa started the conversation as DS was expecting. DS may have been hoping I had enough eggs to have another boy so he’d be off the hook. I really couldn’t say for certain though, I’ve repressed a lot from that day. However, I am certain that Gpa learned his lesson and never brought it up again. :lol:
 

AprilBaby

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Jul 17, 2008
Messages
11,097
Five yr old granddaughter this week: Grammie, how old are you? Me: 61
her: how old will you be when you die? Me: Im not going to die till you get married.
her: oh, so in 134 years?

dinner table 1990: son age 5 : mom can we get a dog? Me: no, daddy is allergic to dogs.
He thinks it over; when daddy dies can we get a dog? Husband spits food all over the Table.
 

natasha-cupcake

Brilliant_Rock
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Nov 16, 2017
Messages
1,116
One day when my daughters were about five and a half, we were in the pediatricians office. The pediatrician was very pregnant and one of my girls asked her if she had a baby in her tummy. The doctor replied "Yes". Then my other daughter looks at her and says "I hate to tell you this, but you're going to have to push that baby out of there."
 
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