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full disclosure to my fiancée about the diamond I got her?

zeeden

Rough_Rock
Joined
May 16, 2011
Messages
12
Just picked up a ring from the local jeweler after a long search and debate.

It is a beautiful 1.24 ct IDEAL CUT G color SI2 absolutely eye clean. I have eyes like a hawk and I could not find a thing. Even with a loupe it's pretty darn hard.

It's absolutely stunning and scores very good across the board on the hca calculator.

I know my friends and her friends will ask what kind of diamond I bought her. I'm afraid to tell them that it's a G color and SI2. Don't want her or her friends thinking that it's a bad stone. Because most people will buy what's on paper.

I just don't want her feeling embarrassed. One time she told me that she wanted D color after looking at a tiffanys catalogue. She probably does not know that G is actually pretty colorless face up, especially with this particular cut. She isn't educated in diamonds at all. She has no idea of my plans either.

If she ever asks, I'm thinking of telling her that i got her a f color vs2 because honestly people wouldn't be able to tell.

Do you guys think this is the right approach?
 

sonnyjane

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 13, 2008
Messages
2,476
Re: full disclosure to my fiancée about the diamond I got he

Is lying the right approach? Nope. If she ever goes for an appraisal or needs to know for insurance purposes you're in deep trouble...
 

Asscherhalo_lover

Ideal_Rock
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Re: full disclosure to my fiancée about the diamond I got he

I wouldn't lie, she may not be very into diamonds now but she may get more interested once she owns her own. Let her know if she wants and she can decide to tell her friends what she is comfortable telling them.

Congrats and good luck!
 

marcy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Messages
24,121
Re: full disclosure to my fiancée about the diamond I got he

Don't offer the info up front, but if she asks tell her the truth. I doubt anyone will ask her the specs on it.
 

zeeden

Rough_Rock
Joined
May 16, 2011
Messages
12
Re: full disclosure to my fiancée about the diamond I got he

I already got it independently appraised and insured.
 

Gypsy

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40,198
Re: full disclosure to my fiancée about the diamond I got he

Do you think she's incapable of being educated about diamonds?

Give her the benefit of the doubt. Give her the tools to make up her own mind.

Lying is not the right thing to do...

Take her to Tiffany and to Hearts on Fire... as her to guess what her color and clarity are? Don't tell her... make it a game. Give her some links on diamonds. Then tell her.
 

sonnyjane

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 13, 2008
Messages
2,476
Re: full disclosure to my fiancée about the diamond I got he

zeeden|1307853019|2943820 said:
I already got it independently appraised and insured.
Wow, so you would really just lie? I agree that you don't have to offer the info right away, but don't lie. If my husband did this to me I'd feel 1) livid that he lied to make me (and others) think he spent more than he did and 2) embarrassed that I'd been unintentionally lying to others if anyone asked about my stone. There's nothing wrong with your stone. I personally have an H SI 1 and love it, but I know what it is and understand that we saved a fortune by not going with higher color and clarity.
 

Imdanny

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 21, 2008
Messages
6,186
Re: full disclosure to my fiancée about the diamond I got he

:o No, I would not lie to her.
 

Kaleigh

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Nov 18, 2004
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29,570
Re: full disclosure to my fiancée about the diamond I got he

Don't lie. You picked out a great stone from what you wrote. You took time in doing so... Don't start your engagement with a lie... It will come back to you x 10...

Best thing?? Educate her on what a great stone she is getting... :))
 

zeeden

Rough_Rock
Joined
May 16, 2011
Messages
12
Re: full disclosure to my fiancée about the diamond I got he

Wow I didn't expect to get so many replies at 12:30am est must be a touchy subject. :lol:

But you guys are right i should not lie. If she asks i will tell her what i got her. then educate her about diamonds and how I settled on this one.

I know I could have got her a 1 ct d color at the same price but it wouldn't be as big and the cut wouldn't be the same. I spent about 8500 on this ring so it's not about money. It's about the expexted quality that people have in their minds of what a good diamond should be.
 

shihtzulover

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 30, 2010
Messages
717
Re: full disclosure to my fiancée about the diamond I got he

Definitely don't lie to her! It's such an important, symbolic gift, and lying to her is not the way to start out the rest of your lives together.

I don't think that there's anything wrong with a G SI2. G is a nice, white color, and I have a SI2 myself. When we first started looking, my fiance and I were looking at diamonds in the VVS clarity range, and then the VS range, but we honestly didn't think that we would ever go to SI2. It is very eye-clean though, and I'm really pleased with it.
 

luv2sparkle

Ideal_Rock
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Feb 3, 2008
Messages
7,788
Re: full disclosure to my fiancée about the diamond I got he

Zeedeen, it's only 9:30 in CA! Glad you are not going to lie to your girl! You should be proud of the beautiful ring you got her. 99 percent of people will not be able to tell the difference and chances are she won't either.
 

zeeden

Rough_Rock
Joined
May 16, 2011
Messages
12
Re: full disclosure to my fiancée about the diamond I got he

Yes! I forgot about my friends in Cali :)

I'll post some pictures when this ring goes on her finger next weekend, hopefully.
 

yssie

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Messages
21,111
Re: full disclosure to my fiancée about the diamond I got he

Neither you nor she have anything to be embarrassed about - in fact, given that you did more homework than 99% of your and her peers, you have lots to be very proud of - you made an educated purchase, and I'm sure your stone is a stunner!

Looking forward to your pics :sun:
 

Dancing Fire

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Messages
32,403
Re: full disclosure to my fiancée about the diamond I got he

zeeden|1307852598|2943810 said:
I know my friends and her friends will ask what kind of diamond I bought her. I'm afraid to tell them that it's a G color and SI2. Don't want her or her friends thinking that it's a bad stone. Because most people will buy what's on paper.

I just don't want her feeling embarrassed. One time she told me that she wanted D color after looking at a tiffanys catalogue. She probably does not know that G is actually pretty colorless face up, especially with this particular cut. She isn't educated in diamonds at all. She has no idea of my plans either.

If she ever asks, I'm thinking of telling her that i got her a f color vs2 because honestly people wouldn't be able to tell.

Do you guys think this is the right approach?
tell them it's a E color stone.. :naughty: ...btw; i'll take a G color stone any day of the week.. ;))
 

mayerling

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 4, 2010
Messages
2,357
Re: full disclosure to my fiancée about the diamond I got he

Could you pretend like you don't have it yet, and talk her through the process of how you go about buying diamonds? The four Cs? What's most important and what isn't? How an excellent cut is more important than a D?

Don't tell her exactly what you bought; just what you would consider important in a stone. That way, when you present her with the ring and you give her the specs, she'll know that what you got is actually a damn good stone!
 

Cehrabehra

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 29, 2006
Messages
11,071
Re: full disclosure to my fiancée about the diamond I got he

Don't lie - never lie... but you can refuse to tell her. Be coy. Be charming. Be evasive. Tell her you saw it and knew it was the one. Tell her it is a perfect diamond :) But don't lie.
 

bee*

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 14, 2006
Messages
12,170
Re: full disclosure to my fiancée about the diamond I got he

I wouldn't lie about it either. It sounds like it's a beautiful ring.
 

Inkblot

Rough_Rock
Joined
Mar 26, 2011
Messages
53
Re: full disclosure to my fiancée about the diamond I got he

Don't lie.

However, does the ring have a window to return it to the vendor within a certain time period? I wouldn't lie, but you can always use a little propaganda!

You: Will you marry me?!
GF: YES! Oh, a thousand times yes!
You: *put the gorgeous G stone on her finger*
GF: *appropriately dazzled at its beauty, sparkle and size*
You: I have the paperwork to show you, and I know you had said you wanted a D color ring.
GF: Oh? *not looking at you, but drooling over her ring*
You: Yes, so if you see the paperwork for this ring, I have to be totally honest with you and tell you it's a G color. If you have your heart set on a D color stone, I am all for it. I just want to be up front and tell you that a D color stone will be smaller and have different specs. within what I am able to afford.
GF: REALLY?! But I could never tell this wasn't a D stone. G seems so WHITE and it sparkles so MUCH!
You: Yes, but I remember what you initially said and I want full disclosure. That big, honking, ideal-cut, to-die-for stone is 1.2 carats. If you'd like the D color stone we could definitely get it, but it would have to be a smaller stone.
GF: *small voice" How small?
You: Probably closer to a carat or under. But the decision is entirely yours.
GF: G color sounds good to me. I love you!

You both walk happily into the sunset, the facets on her glorious G color ring catching the light.
 

yennyfire

Ideal_Rock
Trade
Joined
Jun 6, 2010
Messages
6,572
Re: full disclosure to my fiancée about the diamond I got he

Definitely don't lie. A marriage started on a lie is not a good thing. Be proud that you are smart enough to have done your homework and got her an eye clean SI2 stone. That's awesome and think of the money that you can now spend on her wedding ring! ;))
 

iheartscience

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 1, 2007
Messages
12,111
Re: full disclosure to my fiancée about the diamond I got he

Of course you shouldn't lie. I would be shocked if any of her friends or family ask her the color or clarity, though. No one has ever asked me that aside from my PS friends.
 

kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
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Apr 30, 2005
Messages
28,968
Re: full disclosure to my fiancée about the diamond I got he

You told us it was a G but didn't say which lab graded it.

If GIA or AGS graded it G then one of the other labs may give it an F, E or maybe even a D.
Shocking?
Yes, but sadly true.

Which lab graded it?
If AGS or GIA did, you can consider sending it to IGI or EGL or UGL or probably many other podunk labs for a better color grade.
Zillions of diamond sellers do this; why can't a customer do it too?
Zillions of customers are delighted with, (and are clueless about) their "certified" "D"s and "E"s and what's the harm really?
Ignorance is bliss, right?

Is it deceptive?
Sure, but that is how probably the majority of the world's "certified" diamonds are graded.
You can even tell her everything and she can tell her friends it's a D if she wants.
The truth is, it's just as much a "D" as zillions of other "D"s out there based on what most people know.

I wouldn't do this, but people vary, and it IS an option if you MUST say it's a D.
 

tyty333

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Messages
22,498
Re: full disclosure to my fiancée about the diamond I got he

Tell her/them (friends/family) that the cut is the most important thing. Her excellent cut G will outshine a badly cut D anytime.
 

Amys Bling

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 25, 2010
Messages
11,025
Re: full disclosure to my fiancée about the diamond I got he

full disclosure.....! I witnessed an embarrassing scene at a jeweler yesterday. A husband and wife went into the store for polishing and rhodium dipping, they did not buy the ring there. The store was trying to get specs from the husband and the "value of the ring". The husband stated 20,000... at which point they had their GIA grad come over to verify the value for the purpose of "in case" something happens they want to agree on value. Well they disagreed and the GIA grad asked the specs and he said, "near coloreless, slightly included, ideal cut". There was disagreement and I could see the husband get red faced. - and then there was the issue that he insisted it was certified with laser inscription- but the inscription was never found.

Either he was mislead on the value and specs when he bought it- or whether he mislead her on the value and specs. I was embarrassed for them- but of course I had to continue to listen in... :wacko:
 

zeeden

Rough_Rock
Joined
May 16, 2011
Messages
12
Re: full disclosure to my fiancée about the diamond I got he

kenny|1307889747|2944021 said:
You told us it was a G but didn't say which lab graded it.

If GIA or AGS graded it G then one of the other labs may give it an F, E or maybe even a D.
Shocking?
Yes, but sadly true.

Which lab graded it?
If AGS or GIA did, you can consider sending it to IGI or EGL or UGL or probably many other podunk labs for a better color grade.
Zillions of diamond sellers do this; why can't a customer do it too?
Zillions of customers are delighted with, (and are clueless about) their "certified" "D"s and "E"s and what's the harm really?
Ignorance is bliss, right?

Is it deceptive?
Sure, but that is how probably the majority of the world's "certified" diamonds are graded.
You can even tell her everything and she can tell her friends it's a D if she wants.
The truth is, it's just as much a "D" as zillions of other "D"s out there based on what most people know.

I wouldn't do this, but people vary, and it IS an option if you MUST say it's a D.
Well I'm in Toronto and 80% of loose diamonds I see are graded by gemscan. So it might be a GIA I or J! :blackeye:
does it make a difference if the diamond was also appraised by a GIA diamond grad as a G?

The jeweler says it "almost looks like f color" but he is not a gemologist. I saw the stone beside a d and an h and there was bigger difference between the h than the d. He may have pulled out j instead of the h to show more of a significant difference for all I know.

Question for those who have bought or currently wear an engagement ring, how often do you get asked how much you bought the ring for or the specs of it?
 

Haven

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 15, 2007
Messages
13,166
Re: full disclosure to my fiancée about the diamond I got he

I have NEVER been asked about the cost OR the specs of my ring. Well, my one diamond-obsessed friend asked about the specs but that is because she's a true PSer at heart, not because she wanted to play some which-diamond-is-better game.

I think your SO should respond to rude questions about cost and specs with shock and "Now, why would you want to know that? What a personal question!"

Asking after specs is not only rude, but it's silly. If they don't know WHO graded the stone, the specs aren't very meaningful.
 

kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 30, 2005
Messages
28,968
Re: full disclosure to my fiancée about the diamond I got he

zeeden|1307895128|2944076 said:
kenny|1307889747|2944021 said:
You told us it was a G but didn't say which lab graded it.

If GIA or AGS graded it G then one of the other labs may give it an F, E or maybe even a D.
Shocking?
Yes, but sadly true.

Which lab graded it?
If AGS or GIA did, you can consider sending it to IGI or EGL or UGL or probably many other podunk labs for a better color grade.
Zillions of diamond sellers do this; why can't a customer do it too?
Zillions of customers are delighted with, (and are clueless about) their "certified" "D"s and "E"s and what's the harm really?
Ignorance is bliss, right?

Is it deceptive?
Sure, but that is how probably the majority of the world's "certified" diamonds are graded.
You can even tell her everything and she can tell her friends it's a D if she wants.
The truth is, it's just as much a "D" as zillions of other "D"s out there based on what most people know.

I wouldn't do this, but people vary, and it IS an option if you MUST say it's a D.
Well I'm in Toronto and 80% of loose diamonds I see are graded by gemscan. So it might be a GIA I or J! :blackeye:
does it make a difference if the diamond was also appraised by a GIA diamond grad as a G?

The jeweler says it "almost looks like f color" but he is not a gemologist. I saw the stone beside a d and an h and there was bigger difference between the h than the d. He may have pulled out j instead of the h to show more of a significant difference for all I know.

Question for those who have bought or currently wear an engagement ring, how often do you get asked how much you bought the ring for or the specs of it?
Did you find and pay that GIA diamond grad appraiser out of your own pocket? or did the seller arrange that?
If the seller paid the appraiser it is not independent and carries less weight IMHO.
I'm not saying the G grade is wrong, I'm just putting it into informed perspective.

If I was buying the diamond I considerer someone trained by GIA calling it a G to not carry the same weight as GIA itself grading it G.
One is an individual, the other is the largest most important gem lab in the world putting its reputation on the line with that grade.

Perhaps someone here can tell us if Canada's "Gemscan" lab grades to GIA/AGS standards. I have no idea.
I do know GIA and AGS graded diamonds ARE available in Canada and many Canadians have bought AGS and GIA graded diamonds from PS vendors in the US and saved a ton of money even after all the Canadian taxes/fees/duty/customs etc. etc.

http://www.gemscan.com/
 

Autumnovember

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 28, 2010
Messages
4,384
Re: full disclosure to my fiancée about the diamond I got he

zeeden|1307854210|2943830 said:
Wow I didn't expect to get so many replies at 12:30am est must be a touchy subject. :lol:

But you guys are right i should not lie. If she asks i will tell her what i got her. then educate her about diamonds and how I settled on this one.

I know I could have got her a 1 ct d color at the same price but it wouldn't be as big and the cut wouldn't be the same. I spent about 8500 on this ring so it's not about money. It's about the expexted quality that people have in their minds of what a good diamond should be.

Honestly, before being on PS I was the way she was about color and clarity when I really didn't know much. I will say that after spending time on PS and looking at soo many variations of diamonds from all ranges on the scales.....they are all really beautiful. Of course I still have my preferences but it has definitely opened up my mind about diamonds, I can really appreciate so many more types of diamonds than I used to now. Let her explore on here.

To answer your question-- I have NEVER been asked stats about my diamond, ever. Not friends, not family, not strangers. I have had it for 9 months. I only told my best friend the specs when using it as a tool to educate her on diamonds a little bit.
 

kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Messages
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merilenda

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Messages
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Re: full disclosure to my fiancée about the diamond I got he

I have never once been asked for diamond specs by anyone in real life. I get tons of compliments, ooh-ing and aah-ing though, from people I know and don't know alike. My e-ring is a G colored diamond and it looks pretty colorless to me. Of course, I like warmer colors, and am planning to go down to the K-L range when I upgrade my stone.
 
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