Finally some understanding...

[KimberJEB]

Ok, honestly I don''t know where to post this anymore, but...a new thread works I guess.

Anyway, as a lot of you know, Daniel and I have been together for 7 years, and at year 4 I really started hoping ot get engaged. He promised me it would be by our 5 year anniversary, obviously it wasn''t...

Well, between that, his brothers engagement and law schoool, I kind of went nuts. All the girls I knew in their little 1 or 2 year relationships thought I was a complete psycho, didn''t understand why I cared so much, I needed to give it time...etc. I cared about and thought about nothing but WHEN HE WOULD PROPOSE. It was kind of sad.

Well, last night, his little sister, one of my best friends pre-psychoness, and one of those girls in a 2 year relationship at that time, called me to ask about law shcool or something. She and her BF have now been together for 3.5 years, she graduated college last month, and I think was expecting a proposal around then. Last week she moved in with his parents so she could look for ajob near him (5 hours from us). I guess he isn''t excited enough for her, won''t talk about the future, etc. I think for him it is finally real - and a bit scary.

Anyway, she kept saying how frustrated she is, she doesn''t think he will ever propose, and then she started to make the statement i have made SO MANY TIMES: "Well, I will give him a year, but then...." - I started cracking up and saying NO LIZ, don''t say it. It is so much worse when you have said it and then you stick around. LOL.

There wasn''t much point in this post, but I am just LOVING it that these people who thought I was a complete nut, and just couldn''t understand are now getting why I was a nut, and what it was I was doing. I feel avenged, or something.

Although, to be honest...if she gets engaged before me I just might kill her brother. (Daniel).

(OH! We asked for an estimate of the setting I want, and daniel keeps telling me to check and see if it came yet...GOOD sign!!!)

 

[kanne]

wow kimber, that IS a good sign!!!! which setting are you interested in? good luck!

 

[Croí]

KJEB
I can sooooooooooo relate but not re: engagement per se but definitely can relate to others thinking you''ve gone completely barmy and turned into a lunatic simply because they HAVE NOT BEEN THERE YET. I remember one person ''consoling'' me that it was ''only a break-up'' when I split from my ex. ONLY ????? It was the only life I''d ever known up to that point. From my parent''s house to him - for eleven years, for a whole third of my life ! I felt like strangling her and her ''consolation'' efforts. I really told plenty of people where to get off (very politely). It was like "hey, when you''ve spent eleven years with someone and it''s all come to nothing and you are left empty and heartbroken THEN I''ll hear you out."
Some folk were very good at the sympathy/empathy/consolation thing but most just felt I needed to get a grip. Some things (deeply emotional things) are just not as simple as that.

I can relate to your ''avenged'' feeling although I''m happy to say I''ve managed to let go of the negative stuff and it rarely rears it''s ugly head anymore. THat''s all long ago and far away for me now and I feel it all happened as it was supposed to because if I hadn''t walked that path I might never have met my darling.

You''ll get there (like me) and it''ll be all the sweeter when you do.

*hug*

 

[goldengirl]

Sometimes all we need is a little vindication.

 

[KimberJEB]

I''m actually not negative, and "avenged" was the wrong word, I guess. I just think it''s funny that after all this time, she finally gets where I am comign from. (or was, I am way more goofy and just wait and see about the whole thing right now). I really do hope she gets engaged soon (I just hope I get engaged sooner, lol) - I wouldn''t want to wish the past 3 years of torture on anyone, much less a friend. It''s just interesting to watch another person in the same place I was in, expecially a person who didn''t get at all where I was coming from.

Oh, and CONGRATULATIONS! I saw your thread but didn''t post in it
Kimberly

 

[goldengirl]

I understand where you''re coming from--it''s just nice that now at least one other person can vouch for your sanity.

 

[blue_chica]

Totally understand what you mean. None of my friends really understand (one might), and I just say I know you don''t understand and I hope you never do!

 

[gingerBcookie]

Wow...totally know how you feel!!!! I don''t know how many of you girls remember a post thread I started a long time ago on diamond hangout link that pretty much talked about how my two recently engaged friends were making snotty comments about how I was so involved int he whole ring picking process. Well, last night, one of them admitted she was really jealous and wished that she had been able to pick out her ring. As soon as she said it, this WAVE of satisfaction came over me...I totally felt like an evil b!tch afterwards, but it felt so good for me to hear her say that! I felt..."avenged"... but in a less negative way...like you! heehee....