AllAboardTheBlingTrain
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2020
- Messages
- 2,939
Congrats!!! This is such a huge accomplishment, you have EVERY right to be proud of yourself!!
#KillingIt!!
Thank you yssie!!
Congrats!!! This is such a huge accomplishment, you have EVERY right to be proud of yourself!!
#KillingIt!!
I love your background. Because code should be beautiful.
Pretty look at, easy to follow, well-tested, and well-documented. I wish more software engineers took pride pride in how their product presents itself... Getting something working is a paltry achievement - any code monkey can “get it working”. Getting something working in a way that someone new can step in and maintain it easily - that’s beautiful and valuable! And I have zero tolerance for people who call themselves “hackers” and “tinkerers”; I can’t respect someone who won’t give a passion his or her best effort.
Artistry is critical no matter what you’re doing, IMO. Even something as supposedly-opposing as tech. I absolutely LOVE the idea of a background in art history and CS and I imagine such a person (you!) would be very successful in any industry you chose.
@GeliL, coding is such a wonderful and important skill to have these days. My son apparently knows how to do it (he is 14). I think he knows how to code and make bots for Discord, pretty sure that’s what he told me anyways.
I never thought I'd become...child free by choice.
I come from a large family. My great grandparents had 10+ kids. My grandparents had 6 kids. Each one of my aunts & uncles has 3-5 kids. Kids is just what we do. I grew up "knowing" that I was having kids one day. I got married "knowing" I was having kids one day. It's just expected. Then I met my first "child free by choice" person. She was a co-worker at my job. It had literally never occurred to me that not having kids was an option. Turns out, it was the option I didn't know about but had always wanted.
@elle_71125 , I’m glad you did what was right for you. I remember some of the comments I heard when people found out we didn’t have children and I really wanted children. Why women can’t just be supportive of each other whatever choice they make is beyond me.
@kipari , You have the hardest and most thankless job out there but I can’t imagine any job being more rewarding than raising children.
I never thought I would be childless. Being a mom was my biggest dream. Thank God for nieces and nephews and grandnieces and grand nephews. They bring me such joy.
@elle_71125 , I’m glad you did what was right for you. I remember some of the comments I heard when people found out we didn’t have children and I really wanted children. Why women can’t just be supportive of each other whatever choice they make is beyond me.
@kipari , You have the hardest and most thankless job out there but I can’t imagine any job being more rewarding than raising children.
I never thought I would be childless. Being a mom was my biggest dream. Thank God for nieces and nephews and grandnieces and grand nephews. They bring me such joy.
My initial reply was rather flip, but after reading all the replies, I’m in awe that there’s such an amazing bunch of people on this forum.
@YadaYadaYada I have absolutely no doubt you’re going to do really well home schooling, you have the courage of your convictions, and I really admire you for that.
To all the other fabulous PSers, wow, the things that you’ve overcome and deal with on a daily basis, my hat’s off to you!
If I can change my reply, I never thought that in my 60’s I’d be in the process of packing up my whole life to move 5000 miles across the ocean to start a new life with DH. Our DS (and now DDIL) asked us to move to be close to them. We’ve had a really stressful week dealing with estate agents (realtors) and getting our house ready to market.
Childless at 33. My #LifePlan always involved having two or three kids by thirty. That plan didn’t account for just how demanding my career would become, and how important that career would be to me.
I don’t regret my choice, but... I do wish there was some way to have my cake and eat it too.
My wife will give me a daily report on our grandkids activities when she comes home from baby sitting. They are our pride and joy. w/o grandkids we would be staring at each other 24/7. We would kill each other by now.@Dancing Fire and you are a great grandfather too, lucky kids you have that they have such involved and available grandparents!
Thanks girls! And I’m sorry if that came off as self-pitying - I wasn’t trying to be.
I’m sure it will surprise noone here to learn that I tend to angst when things don’t go according to plan... So I have been angsting with varying degrees of ferocity for a full three years. Almost all of my coworkers are (have always been) men, and most have wives who take on the lion’s share of home and child needs. Of the very very few women who have advanced significantly and hold powerful technical positions - all are either childless or have hired full-time nannies. I joke that I need a wife; there’s enough truth to it to make everyone uncomfortable.
So “we’ll see”, I guess?
Keeping fingers crossed for you that everything works out perfectly: sometimes perfect for you does mean not according to plan!
I really get it, I'm a planner at heart, but that went out the window with many small children pretty fast... For me, personally that was totally fine, but I do know people who struggled with this a lot.
I've had a few conversations with our young Au Pair girls (around 19/20y/o) regarding this... While I applaud that parents nowadays (me included) tell girls they can achieve everything they dream of, I do think that obscures the fact that one still needs to make choices even today.
As @YadaYadaYada put it wisely: we all "have to sacrifice something".
It's not because of societal limitations or anything in my case specifically. My day didn't magically get one extra hour with each new member of my family. So when I saw that there wasn't enough time for my career and the needs of my specific children in my specific situation (one grandparent at 1.5 h drive), the right and informed decision for us was for me to become a SAHM. But there are as many solutions as there are families out there. If one truly does as best as one can in the circumstances it will work out !
Keeping fingers crossed for you that everything works out perfectly: sometimes perfect for you does mean not according to plan!
I really get it, I'm a planner at heart, but that went out the window with many small children pretty fast... For me, personally that was totally fine, but I do know people who struggled with this a lot.
I've had a few conversations with our young Au Pair girls (around 19/20y/o) regarding this... While I applaud that parents nowadays (me included) tell girls they can achieve everything they dream of, I do think that obscures the fact that one still needs to make choices even today.
As @YadaYadaYada put it wisely: we all "have to sacrifice something".
It's not because of societal limitations or anything in my case specifically. My day didn't magically get one extra hour with each new member of my family. So when I saw that there wasn't enough time for my career and the needs of my specific children in my specific situation (one grandparent at 1.5 h drive), the right and informed decision for us was for me to become a SAHM. But there are as many solutions as there are families out there. If one truly does as best as one can in the circumstances it will work out !
I actually didn't have to have IVF. It just happened. I had no idea of what was wrong with me and took a pregnancy test just to rule it out. We were so shocked that I had a panic attack She's the best though. She loves jewelry and already has a pair of diamond studs and a bracelet with a tiny little stone in it. I'm raising her right!
@GoldenTouch, good on you for furthering your education at 50 although being a single mom and with everything online, that is a lot to take on. I hope it gets easier for you but either way how wonderful that you became a mom.