Feeling a love/hate relationship w/PS & I've only just begun

[swtnsxy7]

So, Im newer to posting here on PS, been lurking and drooling for a long while (which might be my problem) I've only posted 2 other times...my links are below

My original story:
[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/2-53ct-cushion-cut-need-help-with-a-new-setting.182214/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/2-53ct-cushion-cut-need-help-with-a-new-setting.182214/[/URL]

my new stone with temp setting post:
[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/my-new-2-53ct-cushion-brilliant.182971/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/my-new-2-53ct-cushion-brilliant.182971/[/URL]

but this is my problem...

First, I don't want to sound bratty or ungrateful.... my fiance upgraded my center stone as a surprise to me a couple of weeks ago. We had discussed doing this, but never made any decisions... We went to the jeweler to look at my new setting one day (my original setting kept losing stones and they agreed to credit us back the amount and so we started desigining our own) when we showed up he had picked 2 options for me of a new center stone -- a 2.52 or a 2.53ct. both cushion... the 2.53 looked incredibly bigger (which is the one I ended up picking) but the 2.52 was much more "cupcakey" - lol that's what I call it The 2.52 crown was significantly higher, more plump looking and I LOVE that look, but I went with size over plumpness lol, wanting the biggest one I could get (my greed got the best of me) well, now, here we are 2 weeks and tons of PS drooling later and I can NOT get over wishing I had picked the one with the higher crown (it did however have 2 inclusions that I could very clearly see. The jeweler assured me no one would notice, but I barely had the thing on my finger a second and I spotted them from at least a foot away... therefore, I immediately disregarded that one and went with the bigger one -- (the one I have on my finger now) which I now refer to as the "pancake" Now, I asked if we needed to make a decision that day, or if we could see more... and my fiance said that we needed to decide then, because for some deal that they were giving him, they needed a decision that day. I have always been a little uneasy about it, I feel I was rushed... I really regret not being able to see more than just 2 diamonds, and when we are spending this kind of money on a single stone I really feel like I should have exactly what I want... maybe Im just being greedy and I should be happy with what I have, but everytime I get on here I drool over everyones antique cut cushions and cushions with high crowns and just wish and dream mine looked like that. I also wish it had larger facets... it doesn't have the crushed ice look in every angle, but in most it does, and I've also read tons of things about that being a bad "Cut" - regardless, I do wish it had chunkier faceting (sp)
So, I guess my questions are..... should I just be grateful for what I have, or should I speak up and see if we can look at others and possibly exchange.. is the "crushed ice" look bad? Does my stone have bad numbers? (I posted specs on the 2nd thread listed above) It has a really low crown angle... should that be a larger number? I know a lot of you say you can't judge a cushion on numbers alone... but can you look at my numbers and pictures and tell me what you honestly think?
Maybe the solution should be get off of PS and never get back on lol -- I definitely feel childish and whiny --"oh my big stone isn't perfect enough" -- but after paying the amount of money we paid... shouldn't it be exactly what I want?
Just looking for your opinions, maybe your personal experience if you've had this issue... I feel like my stone is the black sheep of PS, the bottom of the barrel diamond... the red-headed step child
any advice or help you can give is greatly appreciated... maybe is it just this temp setting that's throwing the look off since the prongs and tiffany style setting are different than what Im wanting... if you compare the new setting picture to my side profile pic, the crown height looks similar (maybe its in my head)
Thanks for reading and thank you in advance for your advice... my fiance might have a heart attack if I approach looking for yet another diamond, but I know he'd rather switch now then down the road when we can't do anything about it....

 

[04diamond<3]

Re: Feeling a love/hate relationship w/PS & I've only just b

I think that's horse. I'm sorry, but if you're spending that kind of money for that kind of a stone, you bet you should have EXACTLY what you want! I don't understand why they put so much pressure on you FI to make a decision that day! That should have been a red flag. Will they give you a refund? To me, it looks gorgeous, but if that's not what you wanted, you should do what you can to remedy it.

 

[junebug17]

Re: Feeling a love/hate relationship w/PS & I've only just b

I think it's a common sales tactic to put pressure on someone so they don't miss out on a "deal" - and I agree that it's a lot of money and you should get exactly what you would like. It does sound like you were rushed into making a decision and didn't get a chance to see too many diamonds. Does the store have a return period? I think your stone is very pretty and you seemed to love it when you first received it. Only you can decide if this is the diamond for you - if after a little thought you think you would like something different, maybe it's better to return the diamond if possible and start over.

It's pretty common for people to second-guess themselves after seeing all the different stones and settings here on PS - you need to figure out if something different will really make you happy.

 

[fiona00004]

Re: Feeling a love/hate relationship w/PS & I've only just b

How is the exchange/return policy? I think you should seriously not settle and go back to the drawing board and get what you are proud to wear. It is not you being greedy... you are not wanting 'more', you are wanting beauty and desirability and this cushion doesn't do it for you. There is the perfect cushion out there for you... you just need to be strong and persistent about finding it. You are right, this kind of decision should not be make under pressure... unless you can go back and change your mind without repercussion!! I did not see your stone in the new setting? Do u have pics?

 

[fiona00004]

Re: Feeling a love/hate relationship w/PS & I've only just b

I justthought of something.... maybe since you see a lot of the older cushion cuts on PS and have fallen in love with the larger facets of those stones and therefore your new cushion doesn't 'scratch your itch' because is isn't a vintage cut? Sorry, I am throwing ideas out there to help reason how you are feeling.... also, I find that being on PS so much kind of alters our reality in a sense that the grass does always seem greener... I am not saying you should settle though.I still think you should go back and ask to see more diamonds (kind of part of the fun) and pick out something you visually LOVE .... try it on... see it in different lighting... look at it magnified... despite what the specs are on paper. At th end of the day... you will be wearing it and you will be the one staring at it... hopefully, you will end up with a beauty that you will love staring at all the time! Or... could it be that it is a vintage cut that you really want??

 

[Dreamer_D]

Re: Feeling a love/hate relationship w/PS & I've only just b

You should not be pressured to decide in one day and you should have more than two options. For those reasons I would ask to see more contenders to find "the one".

 

[JulieN]

Re: Feeling a love/hate relationship w/PS & I've only just b

You should tell your jeweler to pause the custom setting.

 

[madelise]

Re: Feeling a love/hate relationship w/PS & I've only just b

Do you have an option right now? Will they allow a return/exchange? Can you stop the setting process? Or are you stuck? If you're able to change everything, do so, and take your time with the help of RT. If not, it might be better for you to stop looking at photos on PS, and wondering "what if" and feeling remorse That's not a good feeling to feel for your engagement..


Have you talked to your SO candidly about this yet? Do that ASAP and get in contact with the jeweler to see if you have options.

 

[swtnsxy7]

Re: Feeling a love/hate relationship w/PS & I've only just b

@04diamond<3 - Thank you... you all know what to say to a girl to win her heart - I really just needed to know I wasnt being selfish by wanting what I want... or asking for something different. I did feel rushed and wasn't happy about it from the beginning...but the FI was pleased so I didn't want to cause a big scene. Thank you - I did ask tonight and they are going to let me look at other diamonds to exchange or just return this one and purchase another... I'll know more in the following days..

@Junebug17 - You are right.. I did love it, I still do.. It's so big how can I not lol -- it's just so pancakey and i see all of the antique ones on here that are so full and volumptious my FI said tonight I need to be restricted from this website lol -- it's hurting his bank account -- whoops The store does have a return policy - although they've always treated us well, so when my lady called me late this evening she said they'd start bringing in ones for me to look at-- it's only been 3 weeks, so I assume we are in the return range. I should know more in the next couple days - but 100% you're right... I look on here and start second guessing my own ring... it's just that I did from the very beginning as well... just kept telling myself it'll look better in a setting - then even now in a temp setting it's still pancakey - and I just have to realize with a crown angle of 12.7% it's never going to be full and volumptious

I justthought of something.... maybe since you see a lot of the older cushion cuts on PS and have fallen in love with the larger facets of those stones and therefore your new cushion doesn't 'scratch your itch' because is isn't a vintage cut? Sorry, I am throwing ideas out there to help reason how you are feeling.... also, I find that being on PS so much kind of alters our reality in a sense that the grass does always seem greener... I am not saying you should settle though.I still think you should go back and ask to see more diamonds (kind of part of the fun) and pick out something you visually LOVE .... try it on... see it in different lighting... look at it magnified... despite what the specs are on paper. At th end of the day... you will be wearing it and you will be the one staring at it... hopefully, you will end up with a beauty that you will love staring at all the time! Or... could it be that it is a vintage cut that you really want??

@fiona00004 - Your words were exactly what I needed to hear-- I was feeling greedy, selfish - he just spent all of this money on an upgrade and here Im already complaining 2 weeks later, how rude am I, but you're right.. Im not wanting bigger or more expensive..per say -- I just want something more esthetically pleasing... when given my choice between clear and bigger or smaller with inclusions.. I didn't really have a choice My new setting is in the process of being made, so no pics yet -- we waited until we picked a stone, so it just went into production about a week ago, and they said CAD was backed up so when I called today to ask them to wait they hadn't even started drawings yet And YES, an antique or antique style cushion is exactly what I think my little heart is set on they are gorgeous.. now I know those can get expensive, but between you me and the rest of PS -- the price tag on this beauty on my hand now was $18k -- so I feel like surely I can find a 2.5ct. vintage or cut to look vintage for that price tag, right?

@Dreamer_D - I will ask to see more, thank you I guess I just wanted to be sure I had the 'right' to do so.

@JulieN - yes, they are waiting until they hear from me before continuing with the custom setting... the setting I do LOVE but I let them know since they'll be custom making the head to fit my stone. Thank you!!

 

[swtnsxy7]

Re: Feeling a love/hate relationship w/PS & I've only just b

Do you have an option right now? Will they allow a return/exchange? Can you stop the setting process? Or are you stuck? If you're able to change everything, do so, and take your time with the help of RT. If not, it might be better for you to stop looking at photos on PS, and wondering "what if" and feeling remorse That's not a good feeling to feel for your engagement..


Have you talked to your SO candidly about this yet? Do that ASAP and get in contact with the jeweler to see if you have options.

Madelise - I have spoken with my FI, and thankfully he didn't want to revoke my computer PS privledges completely (he did mention suspending them though) - He said that he completely understands, he didn't see it the way I did (that only having 2 choices, one with visible inclusions but the crown height I wanted or a significant bigger spread with no inclusions) but after I explained I felt I had no choice but to pick between the two - he agrees that they should show us more options with no reprocussions to us (if only everything works the way we wanted)... so, I contacted my jeweler earlier today and she got back to me late this evening... she didn't explain exactly how it would work (return then purchase or exchange or what) but she did ask for me to send pics of diamonds that were "cupcakey" like I want vs. the pancake that I didn't. I sent that email a couple hours ago with pretty clear specifications of what I was looking for.. chunky faceting, around 8mm more square than rectangular, higher crown height than 12.7% (that's what the one I have now has) -- anyway, we'll see what she can come up with, but she did agree to show me other diamonds, so that's a start! I initially asked her if I had options or if I was stuck and she responded with the response to send the pictures and specifications and she'd make sure I had some to see (i live in a different town than they are located) We've worked with her for a while now (as this diamond and setting was from a return/exchange from the first one that kept losing diamonds) so i feel like if it was too late and i was stuck she would have told me so.
The setting is stopped at this point and in limbo until I decide on yet another stone
You are right though... I may need to restrict myself to not looking at others diamonds until mine is on my finger and done completely so that I am not having buyers remorse --

 

[junebug17]

Re: Feeling a love/hate relationship w/PS & I've only just b

I'm so glad you talked to your FI and will have the chance to look at some other stones! I just want to emphasize that I don't think you're being greedy or selfish at all - you will be the one wearing the ring, and I think it's important that you really love it with no lingering doubts. I think your feelings are totally understandable! Good for you for speaking to him about it - I know these kinds of conversations can feel weird, but you did the right thing!

 

[Deia]

Re: Feeling a love/hate relationship w/PS & I've only just b

I think you should ask for more choices. But I also want to point out that "crushed ice" cushions are NOT bad. It's just a matter of whether you like the look or not. If you do, great, if you don't, then get a stone you do love

 

[junebug17]

Re: Feeling a love/hate relationship w/PS & I've only just b

I think you should ask for more choices. But I also want to point out that "crushed ice" cushions are NOT bad. It's just a matter of whether you like the look or not. If you do, great, if you don't, then get a stone you do love

I agree Deia - I meant to mention this in my post. In the end, the only opinion that matters is yours swtnsxy!

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

Re: Feeling a love/hate relationship w/PS & I've only just b

I'm glad that you get another chance to look at other diamonds. I think almost everyone goes through what you're going through. I know I did. It's a rite of passage I cannot wait to see what your new diamond looks like In the end, it doesn't matter what I think or what your friends think or what the whole of PS thinks, it's about you and what's pleasing to your eye!

 

[04diamond<3]

Re: Feeling a love/hate relationship w/PS & I've only just b

I think you should ask for more choices. But I also want to point out that "crushed ice" cushions are NOT bad. It's just a matter of whether you like the look or not. If you do, great, if you don't, then get a stone you do love

I agree Deia - I meant to mention this in my post. In the end, the only opinion that matters is yours swtnsxy!

Oh my goodness! A 2.5 crushed ice cushion, WOW, I'd pass out!!!! Crushed ice cushions sparkle like crazy!!! If you do get one of those, make sure you take like 1000 pictures of it!

 

[swtnsxy7]

Re: Feeling a love/hate relationship w/PS & I've only just b

Oh my goodness! A 2.5 crushed ice cushion, WOW, I'd pass out!!!! Crushed ice cushions sparkle like crazy!!! If you do get one of those, make sure you take like 1000 pictures of it!

@04diamond<3 - I do currently have a 2.53ct. cushion that seems to be "Crushed ice" pics are on the second post I have on here labeled "my new 2.53 cushion

 

[04diamond<3]

Re: Feeling a love/hate relationship w/PS & I've only just b

Oh my goodness! A 2.5 crushed ice cushion, WOW, I'd pass out!!!! Crushed ice cushions sparkle like crazy!!! If you do get one of those, make sure you take like 1000 pictures of it!

@04diamond<3 - I do currently have a 2.53ct. cushion that seems to be "Crushed ice" pics are on the second post I have on here labeled "my new 2.53 cushion

I've seen it It is beautiful and maybe I'll have one F color IF! haha, maybe never but it's nice to dream (EX: http://www.jamesallen.com/diamonds/F-VVS2-Good-Cut-Cushion-Diamond-1504662.asp ) haha, yeah right but its stunning! I hope you find your perfect stone! any news?

 

[echomomm]

Re: Feeling a love/hate relationship w/PS & I've only just b

I agree about getting in other stones to look at. You shouldn't have had doubt at the time of purchase.

But I did want to reiterate that it is very common for people to second guess even the things they did love after coming to PS. It is so easy to fall down the rabbit hole and think there is always a better stone or a better setting just around the corner. And sometimes there is, but remember that when YOU fall in love with something then all the what-ifs don't matter.

I recently upgraded and was over the moon. Then I read that an "ideal" stone of the size I bought should measure about .12 mm larger than mine and I was heartbroken. Yes, seriously, over a difference that would be next to impossible even for a jeweler to detect visually, and despite my stone looking gorgeous and testing well on the HCA. Just reading that one bit of information made me second-guess everything my eyes and my research and my heart had told me.

So cover your bases; see more stones and be sure of the one you pick. But after you find one your heart adores, don't let the doubts that can creep in from seemingly innocuous statements and photos here make you question your judgement. I think your stone is gorgeous, but while you are still within the return period you need to make sure you have what you want.