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Fat fingers = big rock + small band? Wear issues?

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fruxo

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Feb 1, 2012
Messages
126
So my girlfriend complains about how fat her fingers are and how she needs a big diamond to compensate. She is a size 8.5 or thereabouts. The diamond will be around 1.2 carat pear shape.

While I don't agree that we can afford this, not to mention that I must be insane for finally caving and agreeing to spending a small fortune on a tiny rock instead of something "useless" like a house deposit, I do agree that a bigger diamond looks better.

What I'm not sure about, and which is the biggest dilemma really, is which ring to get. She wants the diamond to look big, so she is suggesting a small band. Is that logic correct? Or will it just look stupidly disproportional since she has fat fingers (her words, I wouldn't dare saying it)? She has a narrow band dress ring that looks fine I think, but I don't know. The local jewelers did not really have anything similar to what we are considering for her to try.

The ring in particular we are considering is this one from bluenile, at 1.5mm wide (although for pears, it has 5 prongs + a little holder at the pointy end):
http://www.bluenile.com/diamond-engagement-ring-white-gold_20306

What do you think, good or bad idea? And how will it wear over time, should I worry about it fully breaking or something after X years (the idea obviously being that it should last some 30years at least)?

Otherwise we are looking at something like this, at 2.5mm wide (but she wants the extra bling):
http://www.bluenile.com/diamond-engagement-ring-setting-white-gold_20372

Or maybe something like this, at 2.2mm wide (except I'm not sure if I like it, and the price is starting to creep up a bit):
http://www.bluenile.com/diamond-engagement-ring-setting-white-gold_20309

Any help would be much appreciated, thank you! :)

EDIT: just realized that the petite ring I listed only goes up to size 7.5.. not only that, but it only supports diamonds up to 1 carat. The platinum goes to size 8 and 2.5 carat though. Anyway, I am still interesting in what you think etc, I am not completely set on buying from bluenile, I just don't know many other places.
 
I, uh ... think you're going to get some interesting commentary on money and relationships. But I haven't had my coffee yet, so I think I'll stick to jewelry for the moment.

A lot of the ladies on here do prefer the "big rock, small band" style to make a stone look big: my own perception is that you need to hit a kind of critical mass for that to work, otherwise it just looks sort of disproportionate. I'd actually suggest going with a thicker band - it won't make the stone look bigger, but a 1.2 pear is pretty dang big already, and a thicker band will look more proportional to your girlfriend's hand, which is, I think, the part of the equation a lot of people miss. You might also want to consider getting a halo to bulk things up further, if that's the top concern - search for "FireGoddess" to see a really nice halo'd pear.

Alternately, have you considered maybe using that same budget for a big eternity band? It is hard to beat in terms of both proportion and impact.
 
Circe|1328102814|3116294 said:
I, uh ... think you're going to get some interesting commentary on money and relationships. But I haven't had my coffee yet, so I think I'll stick to jewelry for the moment.

A lot of the ladies on here do prefer the "big rock, small band" style to make a stone look big: my own perception is that you need to hit a kind of critical mass for that to work, otherwise it just looks sort of disproportionate. I'd actually suggest going with a thicker band - it won't make the stone look bigger, but a 1.2 pear is pretty dang big already, and a thicker band will look more proportional to your girlfriend's hand, which is, I think, the part of the equation a lot of people miss. You might also want to consider getting a halo to bulk things up further, if that's the top concern - search for "FireGoddess" to see a really nice halo'd pear.

Alternately, have you considered maybe using that same budget for a big eternity band? It is hard to beat in terms of both proportion and impact.
Click to expand...

She has gone through all styles of rings and diamonds there is, one week it's round cut, the next its oval, followed by cushion, pear, three stone, halo etc :) One she liked for the longest time was a 3 stone oval, which covered her hand very nicely and looked huuge since there was 3 big chunks and not the small/crushed ones. In the end though, she decided that she wanted a solitaire. I think a lot of it is that it makes her happy to know that her diamond is X carat, even though the three stone ring had much more carat weight and looked bigger. Girls hey :)

A pear with a halo was the one she pondered the longest and I thought she had found a winner since she got her solitaire plus it really did look huge with the halo.. but she is afraid she will get tired of it after X years, whereas a simpler cleaner ring is timeless. The halo is probably still on the table though if I can find a really nice one. I'll search for the one you mentioned, cheers.
 
I wear a size 9 wouldn't personally go for a 1.5mm band as I think it would be *too* dainty. My wedding band is a 3mm eternity and I think it looks a little too thin when worn by itself, so I can't imagine how thin a band half that width would look. I think it would disappear into my hand!

I think you may be able to find a nice compromise by going for a band closer to the second style you posted. See how the band tapers in a bit as it goes toward the center stone? If you can find one that starts tapering a bit sooner, you'll be able to go with a wider band overall, but the effect of it being slightly thinner around the diamond will "boost" the diamond up a bit.
 
elliemay|1328103531|3116299 said:
See how the band tapers in a bit as it goes toward the center stone? If you can find one that starts tapering a bit sooner, you'll be able to go with a wider band overall, but the effect of it being slightly thinner around the diamond will "boost" the diamond up a bit.
Click to expand...

Yes! I think this style looks great, but can't seem to find many on bluenile. Any suggestions on different sites I can look at with nice ring designs? I looked at jamesallen etc, but the diamonds are so much more expensive, and I rather just buy the diamond + ring from the same place so they can set it etc.
 
fruxo|1328103362|3116298 said:
She has gone through all styles of rings and diamonds there is, one week it's round cut, the next its oval, followed by cushion, pear, three stone, halo etc :) One she liked for the longest time was a 3 stone oval, which covered her hand very nicely and looked huuge since there was 3 big chunks and not the small/crushed ones. In the end though, she decided that she wanted a solitaire. I think a lot of it is that it makes her happy to know that her diamond is X carat, even though the three stone ring had much more carat weight and looked bigger. Girls hey :)

A pear with a halo was the one she pondered the longest and I thought she had found a winner since she got her solitaire plus it really did look huge with the halo.. but she is afraid she will get tired of it after X years, whereas a simpler cleaner ring is timeless. The halo is probably still on the table though if I can find a really nice one. I'll search for the one you mentioned, cheers.
Click to expand...

Hey, I've heard that stats and measurements can matter to the gentlemen, too ... :lol:

Regarding the whole "timeless" thing, though, I feel like that puts an awful lot of pressure on right from the get-go. Why not get whatever she loves NOW - which, if it's the carat size + big visual effect of a halo, great! - and just ... leave one's options open if, come the 10 or 20 year anniversary, something else makes her heart sing? Using inverse reasoning, I feel like she's a lot less likely to want to change her setting/upgrade if she has the big, blingy look she wants from day one.
 
Here are 3 BN options, all with the taper leading up to the centre stone:

This one gives you the bling plus an antique style:

http://www.bluenile.com/diamond-engagement-ring-white-gold_20305

Whereas this one gives you the antique style minus the bling:

http://www.bluenile.com/solitaire-diamond-engagement-ring-setting_21019

And this one gives you the tapered style without the bling and antique style:

http://www.bluenile.com/14k-white-gold-engagement-ring_20374

And they're all available in size 8.5!
 
some other websites you can check out for stone & setting, all *safe* to buy from -

www.goodoldgold.com (call in and see what they can find for you, tell them your budget and what you're looking for)
www.whiteflash.com (mostly deal with RBs and princesses but they've found other shapes for people and have a number of nice settings)
www.briangavindiamonds.com (also deal w/ RBs/princesses and their signature cushions, also have lots of settings, haven't seen them source other shapes for anyone though)
www.diamondsbylauren.com (they have a number of stones of all shapes and sizes - a very eclectic mix of stuff - also make nice settings, lots of it isn't on the website so this is another vendor to call in if interested)

A thread full of pears: [URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/show-me-your-pears.27270/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/show-me-your-pears.27270/[/URL]

ITA agree with PPs - a wider band that tapers in toward the stone is going to look better and last longer, especially if she wants pave as well. :sun:
 
Oh, duh! I should have thought of this earlier - try ID Jewelry. They have pretty much the best prices, as far as I can tell, and great service. The website doesn't cover all the options, though - if you look at it and don't find something, call 'em up, tell 'em you're from PS, and see what they can do for you.
 
I have a 1.08 pear (8mmish x 6mmish). I wear a size 6.25. I too think a 1.5mm band will look too thin with a 1.5 pear.
I would go 2.3-2.5ish.

Are you planning on getting the pear at BN? You really need to be able to look at pears to determine if they are nice or
not. James Allen would be my first choice since they have pictures and can provide ASET images. There is no telling
what a stone from BN will look like (it will be hit or miss).

What is your budget for the stone? Maybe we can help you find a stone.

Edit - This one might be nice (not the prettiest I've ever seen though).
http://www.jamesallen.com/diamonds/I-SI1-Ideal-Cut-Pear-Diamond-1428027.asp
 
fruxo|1328100620|3116280 said:
So my girlfriend complains about how fat her fingers are and how she needs a big diamond to compensate. She is a size 8.5 or thereabouts. The diamond will be around 1.2 carat pear shape.
While I don't agree that we can afford this, not to mention that I must be insane for finally caving and agreeing to spending a small fortune on a tiny rock instead of something "useless" like a house deposit, I do agree that a bigger diamond looks better.

HI:

You are already behaving like a "good" husband--you are cooperating! :appl: :saint: While there is a great difference between needing and wanting a big diamond I am glad you are not making a dogma of it. I know it sounds boring/preachy but that characteristic helps marriages "survive". :bigsmile:

My only advice is that she tries on ER & bands that suit her finger size--since in MHO there is nothing that emphazises "size" of a finger more, than an ill fitting wedding rings/band (or two many rings, too wide, too small for finger size, etc...).

cheers--Sharon
Click to expand...
 
I think a well done halo is also timeless. And as a girl completely obsessed with pears, it can be done right.

This is a 2ct pear in a halo. This is on Yssie's size 4 (I think). IMHO it's huge, and it felt huge on my size 6. I imagine a 1.2 in a similar size halo on a size 8.5 would look perfect. The comfort fit band was also insanely comfortable.

IMG_3289.JPG

IMG_3290.JPG
 
I also have 8.5 or so fingers, and the dainty small bands just get lost on my hands..I think you are better off going with something more substantial or tapered..the 1.5 bands look silly on me. Maybe take her out shopping and try a few looks before you go forward with choosing a design and take into account her day to day activities.

I also think that you should really have a heart to heart on financial goals on being on the same page going forward. I understand that some men find diamonds a ridiculous purchase, much like women think big screen tvs are and there is argument to both sides, but also in making your significant other happy. However, if its something you together could not truly afford, OR that its something that makes you extremely uncomfortable especially with not owning a home yet etc, then you need to talk about it.

If she likes the halo, then go for it.
 
Halo. Halo. Halo. Did I say halo?

Diamonds are too expensive at higher carat weights and when you want BAM hand presence, you can either spend $10k to get an extra half mm or you can spend $2-$3k and add 3-4mm! I like big bold bling too. It needs to be a halo. If she gets sick of it in 10 years.... worry about that then.

And dude, I know you are joking, but you are either on board to spend what it takes to get her what she wants or you are not ;)) No jokes about being insane or her desires being unreasonable, or silly girls. It just reeks of concealed resentments.
 
wakingdreams53|1328113142|3116406 said:
I think a well done halo is also timeless. And as a girl completely obsessed with pears, it can be done right.

This is a 2ct pear in a halo. This is on Yssie's size 4 (I think). IMHO it's huge, and it felt huge on my size 6. I imagine a 1.2 in a similar size halo on a size 8.5 would look perfect. The comfort fit band was also insanely comfortable.
Click to expand...

Hey WD!

Nope, that's my middle - 5.5, same as yours. I thought it looked GIGANTIC IRL!!
I like the style, too, especially with the pear shape - if she wants *presence* I definitely think a halo is the way to go. It's a very blingy, substantial look!
 
my e ring is 2 mm w band 3 mm size 8 center diamond is 1.15 carat

ring 2.JPG
 
sorry not a very good pic but you get a good idea regarding size. halo has 1 point melee
 
what is your budget? if you post we can help you find some options.

also, I agree that a halo would be a great way to get a substantial look. I would not go for a super duper thin band...maybe 2-2.5 mm
 
Fat fingers = big rock + small band?
The problem is not here...
...you need to have a serious talk with your GF: fix a realistic budget and tell her you can't go over it because you're sparing money for a house...I hope you both have the same priorities...
 
I may be in the minority here, but I prefer thin bands (2 mm and under) on my size 7 fingers. That being said, a thin band isn't going to make a 1.2 carat stone look like 2 carats. I think 1.2 carats is a great size and quite substantial, anyway. Slap a halo on that bad boy and you got yourself a ring with quite a presence. :love:
 
I second the post saying that you two don't sound like people with the same priorities. Now would definitely be the time to have a discussion about future goals and finances.
I don't really know that a thin band makes a rock look bigger. It just looks like a ring with a thin band. I also don't know that a halo makes a rock look bigger, except from way in the distance. I also agree with your fiancee that halo diamond rings are going to go out of style at some point (again). They have been in before (about 80 years ago) and gone out before and they were out for a long, long time. So unless she really likes the styles, I wouldn't do that. Basically, when doing anything except basic (clean, plain solitaire), I would say, only do it if you love it, engagement ring styles change almost as fast as clothing styles (and are a big reason for expensive changes to the style of the ring setting, if not 'upgrades').
Also, I don't think that 8.5 is considered such a big ring size anymore. Average is size 7 and that means half the population is bigger than a 7. 8 1/2 is only a size and 1/2 up. Ladies on Pricescope tend to have teeny tiny fingers that you don't see much in the general population (or else only the teeny tiny post their ring sizes here). A 1.2 carat is a substantial stone-- most ladies have .50-.75 carats in the US so you don't really need to bulk up the stone or do things to make it look bigger--pears are bigger for the weight anyway (look bigger than rounds of the same weight). And a pear is a classic cut and should look lovely.
Congratulations on the engagement and best to you both. Good luck with finding the perfect setting--you have gotten some good advice here.
 
I think a skinny band makes the finger look bigger in comparison. A 1.2 pear is going to look more like a 1.5 round, so the diamond will definitely be big enough. A standard 2-3 mm width is the best option if she wants a dainty band.
 
I wear a size 8 as well, and I won't lie, I wear a 1ct solitaire with a 2mm pave band. I LOVE my ring, however after having worn it for a year, I've decided that 1ct just doesn't have the same presence on my size 8 finger as it does on my friends size 6. I should also say that my diamond is an asscher cut and they face up smaller than other diamond shapes of the same ct weight. If you are being budget conscience then I say halo is the way to go, who cares if it goes out of style in 10 or 20 years...unhalo it then.

I was wondering about something else though, you had mentioned that you were looking around at James Allen and found them to be expensive then other vendors. I'm curious, are you comparing EGL graded stones to GIA or AGS graded stones? If so, then this discussion should be taking a whole other direction.........

Oh, and I agree about this being the perfect oppurtunity to talk about future goals and expectations. It's a yicky conversation that many couples don't want to have but wish they had of 10 years down the road. I also suggest that you and your gf think about what this ring represents to each of you, if she is trying to keep up with the jones' and you are trying to purchase a symbol of your love and commitment, then this could potentionally be a sign of things to come.....
 
i think a halo would be perfect.
 
I think you guys are right about the band, I will try and go for at least 2mm wide, probably around 2.5. I'm also thinking you are probably right about buying it from a place that shows a picture of the actual diamond, despite often paying a bit of a premium for it. The halo is still up in the air, but we are currently leaning towards a normal tapered ring (plain or possibly some small diamonds on the band).

Since many people have asked I can go in to some more detail. She wants a big stone, so we've tried to lower the other properties to what seems like the best value while still getting something decent. The diamond I'm looking for is something like this:

Shape: pear
Carat: 1.15+, preferably a bit bigger (this is the main priority)
Cut: Since this is the most important property in my opinion since it makes it sparkle I've only been looking at the best they have on the site I'm visiting (which seems to vary from site to site, I guess it's because there is no standard GIA cut rating).
Color: G+
Clarity: SI2+
L/W ratio: high, preferably 1.6+, because we like the shape much better
Fluorescence: none
Price: I've put away about 6300USD for diamond + ring (pending on exchange rate on the day), but that is the absolute max and I was hoping to spend a little bit less.
Should I care about any other properties, such as symmetry/polish? I'm under the impression those are not noticeable anyway..

I've also been looking at depth and the actual length/width, as some are significantly larger even at the same carat weight. Not sure how that would affect the diamond though, ie a shallower diamond gets more surface area which is good, but maybe the drawbacks are significant enough that I should be cautious about getting the diamond with the most surface area..

I can show you an example of what, on paper, looks like the ideal diamond for us. We really like the shape of it, but it seems very wide, long AND deep for it's carat weight, which is awesome, but it makes me worry that something is wrong (especially since it is in the cheaper range too). Guessing it has something to do with the table, which is very low at 55% (most seems to be 60-65%), but I'm not really sure about what all these things mean. I mean I've read about it, but I'm not sure how it will actually affect how the diamond looks like. Also, the certificate is from 2006, which I assume means that is has been on the market for a very long time with no buyers. Is there something wrong with this diamond?
http://www.jamesallen.com/diamonds/D-SI2-Ideal-Cut-Pear-Diamond-895185.asp
 
I thought it was fat bank account = big rock???

Good luck, but wow!?!

I'll let the diamond experts answer your questions on rocks, but I gotta say some people would just go for a nice three stone to get finger coverage - which I think looks great. A house deposit and emergency fund are so much more important in the long run. And I would bet 100% that you're looking at 2 ct in a few years....
 
LibbyLA|1328184603|3117179 said:
I don't know if you've seen this wiki article about pear-shaped diamonds here on pricescope: https://www.pricescope.com/wiki/diamonds/pear-cut-diamond/
Click to expand...

Holy crap, that 5ct yellow pear ring is AMAZING! Wish we could afford something like that, she would be over the moon.. but I can't even image how much something like that would cost :twirl:
 
I wear a size 9 ring also. My original setting was a 3.5mm band which was fine until I got my wedding band. Because I don't have thin, long fingers, the wedding band and e-ring band were a little too crowded on my finger and I got a little fat roll. Not a good look. I ended up getting a thinner 2mm band for my e-ring when I got my eternity WB, which is about 3mm. This combination is much better. I think that 1.5 is a little too thin but something between 2-3mm should be fine. Just remember to take into account what type and width of WB she wants to wear.
 
I see nothing wrong with that diamond...65% depth is fine, 55% table is actually in the ideal range posted here. with fancy shapes it is most important to go with one that appeals to you from a picture rather than numbers.

https://www.pricescope.com/wiki/diamonds/pear-cut-diamond

JA has this setting that can probably be modified to fit a pear...
http://www.jamesallen.com/engagement-rings/pave/-18k-White-Gold-Pave-Set-Diamond-Engagement-Ring.html

this one might be nice too?
http://www.jamesallen.com/diamonds/D-SI1-Ideal-Cut-Pear-Diamond-1244437.asp
 
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