ering help-size related

[JAMSRING]

You have all been so helpful already just by me lurking on the site for about a week. My bf and I have learned a lot already and are confident we can get a diamond that we will be very happy with. I have really liked the white gold/plat channel set rings with matching channel set wedding band(about .5ct in bands). We had been thinking we would look at a princess cut center stone about 1ct. or perhaps 1.25ct. We priced them out at the levels we would be happy with (si1, g-h I think) and were comfortable with the cost. So what is the problem? Well i went back today with a friend to look at the setting and it had been sold and was currently set with a 1ct for the customer to pick up tomorrow. The friend that was with me is GOOD friends with the owner and so he took out that ring from the back to show it to me. He said it would not be a problem to order another of the setting. I put the ring on and it looked HUGE too me now that it was set! Now, i am not a girly-girl, and I almost never wear jewlery. I could not get over how big it looked. I have big fingers (7.5- and it still looked crazy huge to me. It also seemed soo raised like I would get it stuck on everything. I had him sit a .75 diamond in a setting that was kind of similiar and it seemed more comfortable to me, but still wondered about all the bling.

I guess i want a ring that people go ''oh that is so pretty" not "holy crap look at that rock."Do you think that was just an initial reaction because I never wear bling? Do you think I will regret telling my bf that I want a smaller diamond? lol! I know you have no way of knowing that, but I wonder what you thoughts are on it. I just am not a flashy person, but I still want a gorgous engagement ring! I guess i am thinking understated elegance lol! I realize most of you have larger rings, but is .75 considered small in most situations or is that a pretty decent size?

Thanks,
Jeannette

 

[JAMSRING]

Not sure how my avi ended up a guy! I clicked the smiley face! Oh well, sorry if I confused anybody! lmao! I know I said I am not a girly-girl, but I am not that bad! lol!

 

[ydiamonds]

I did the same thing with my avatar initially. You have to click on the box after the smiley box, not before. Not sure why, but that seems to be only row where the box location is different.

As for diamond size and ring style, I''d suggest you keep trying on different diamond sizes/shapes, and rings until you find one you love. It''s great that you are shopping together so you have this opportunity. If you can''t decide, don''t sweat it. Just take your time. You''ll find something you really love. Good luck, and have fun!

 

[supersash]

Jeannette

Its all about what you are comfortable with. It may be that because you aren''t used to it, it seems a bit too big, and that may change. Maybe you can get a CZ ring in 1ct, with a similar setting, and just get used to the size?

Personally, I''d go with the 1 ct; but this is coming from a girl who''s shooting to get between 2-3 cts from my boy

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I would not go with less than 1 ct. in a princess since they often have a diameter smaller than the same weight round anyway. I think you''ll get used to the size!

 

[nolimits]

I agree with diamondseeker, stay with the 1ct. I think your shock factor is due mostly to the fact you don''t have/wear alot of bling. Personally I''d prefer to see a 1.5ct but IMO the rock needs to pop.

 

[brooke.lynne]

I''m gonna go out on a limb here and disagree with the bigger is better philosophy.

Obviously it is a personal choice. The most important thing is to get a ring that you are comfortable wearing every day. Are your fingers large or small? Also, where do you work? Do you have sisters or friends from whom you can take your cue? Which will make you feel better around the office and your family? A blingy look, or a more reserved look? A lot of the size element, at least for me, is social. I think the 1 carat size is used as a rule of thumb by many but so is the 3 month salary before taxes, which is insane for most couples getting engaged. As far as regrets: check out your jeweler''s trade-up and return policies. With a good jeweler you shouldn''t ever regret a purchase.

Personally, I think there is something to be said for subtlety in a nice look.

.75 carats is no chip, honey.

 

[Circe]

Have you considered getting whichever size stone you settle on set in a low bezel? I think that might increase your comfort factor pretty significantly - the safety factor is reassuring, especially if you''re a klutz (like me), and the look of a square bezel is the epitome of understated elegance in my eyes (search for LaurenthePartier''s ring as an example: she wears a gorgeous asscher, but the principle holds true: outside of PS, Stuart Moore makes this nicest example of this look that I''ve seen).

 

[tberube]

have you thought about trying to look at settings that are maybe a little lower? Like a basket head, halo or bezel? I too was very much not into settings that put my diamond into such peril.

 

[bee*]

I would maybe try a lower setting as well. I would go with a size that you''re happy with. 1ct is a nice size but if you''re not comfortable wearing that size then get a bit smaller. Just keep trying on lots of different styles until you find one that you''re happy with.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

That''s the funny thing about diamonds Jeannette, at first your diamond will look huge to you...but over time your eyes become accustom to seeing your ring, and you''re diamond will settle.

If you''ve never been a big ol'' jewelry kinda gal...then a carat probably did feel overwhelming...but diamonds are addictive...no matter what size you get, you''ll get quite enough!

I''d say, go for a lovely stone of good color, clarity, and cut...and find a setting that is comfortable on your finger, that you love. The marriage of the two will certainly make you a happy lady!

 

[JAMSRING]

Thanks for the input! I think you all have some valid points. I still have a lot to think about. I appreciate any and all advice you have!

 

[BriBee]

I have always been in the "bigger is better" camp and would eventually love to own something in the 3 ct range. My e-ring is a 1.28 cushion, with a pave halo, so it looks pretty big. A lot of people ask me if it''s 2 carats. It''s also got a l/w ratio of 1.2....something, so the rectangular shape makes it look bigger to me too. Now with that being said, I absolutely LOVE my ring, but there are times when I feel a little weird or even embarrassed by the size, and I''ve always been into jewelry and worn a lot. For example, when I was at Thanksgiving this year I was very excited to tell the family about the engagement. But I ended up getting a little overwhelmed by all of my cousins, aunts, uncles, etc... grabbing my hand and saying "holy cow! that thing''s HUGE!" My ring was bigger than all of my cousins'' rings, and all of them are older than me, so it felt sort of awkward. My ring is also bigger (or looks bigger) than my friends who are engaged and the women I work with. So even though I LOVE it, and would NEVER change it, I still feel uncomfortable at times. Sometimes I often wonder if I''m just asking for trouble if I were to wear it in a less than desirable area. It''s eternity so even if I spin it around, you see some bling. So, I guess what I''m saying is that you should go with something that you''re comfortable with. When guys come on here asking for size advice, many people will say "look at the rings of family, friends, co-workers, etc... to get an idea of what the women around her are wearing" so if you think you''d be uncomfortable by size comments like I am, then maybe you should go smaller. I would stick with the original sizes you were thinking about, but I also think it''s a good idea to maybe wear a CZ to get used to the size first. DSS (Diamond shrinkage syndrome) is a huge thing here on PS, and you''d be surprised how fast it can hit a girl

 

[JAMSRING]

Good points Bri! Thank you! I really am thinking I would be either more comfortable with a smaller diamond, or else a setting that does not place it so high up.

I tried asking my twin sister her center stone size today via a text and it turned into drama! She "joked" that I would only be happy if mine was bigger than hers. It really upset me because it is kind of a touchy subject. She and my BIL have a lot more money than my bf and I will ever have. Although her diamond is not super big it is a family heirloom on my BIL side and it is more inline of the size I think I would be comfortable with. I was asking to gauge not try and top. I don’t care that she is financially better off, but there is a chance my ring may be bigger. My Bf has been saving for a long time and it is important to him that i get a ring that I will love and that he feels I deserve (even when it relatively low on my radar of importance). I was hurt she would think that was due to some childish competition on my part. I dont know if that makes sense. It was one of those minor things that got WAY blown out of proportion on both of our parts. aughh! lol!

I looked around at work (I teach) and the rings varied big time, although only two or three were over a 1.5 ct if I had to guess. I had never noticed before so I dont know why I am so hung up on them noticing mine. Granted they will look at it when they hear I am engaged but after that nobody even really cares i suppose! lol!

I guess this is just part of the "fun" that lays ahead during this process! I am soooo glad I have found such an amazing, wonderful man who loves me for who I am. He makes me laugh at all of this and sure keeps it fun. His is all I really want

 

[Italiahaircolor]

The sister thing can be kind of complicated. My older sister married the year before I did...and while I was purely happy for her and her carnary diamond...she wasn''t as happy for me.

I think that your sister is reflecting her insecurities onto you. I''m sure it would bother her if your ring was bigger than hers, and istead of confronting that feeling herself she turned it around and made you the guilty party. It''s not a feeling that many woman would openly admit to, but it''s also human nature to feel envious, or jealous.

I would make a point of complimenting her ring, and never openly discuss my "my carat weight vs. your carat weight". If you ring is larger, but diplomatic about it...never give it a second thought. An ering is a reflection of love...end of story.