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Wedding dress doubt

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karasue91

karasue91

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 27, 2007
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I was bad again and looking at Ebay for the Melissa Sweet Dora dress, and there is one on there. It is absolutely my dream dress and this is my size. The only thing is that the hem might be a little short if I want to wear heels. She said it was hemmed for someone who was about 5''7", and I am 5''6" and already bought shoes with 3.5" heels that can''t be returned (also from ebay)

The more I look at my dress (link to my dress thread) the more I feel like it just makes my legs look really short and stumpy (I''m wearing 3.5 inch heels in the pics). I really love that my dress is unique, but I am just so in love with the Dora. I bought my dress for $800 and alterations have already been $500 (the dress was in REALLY bad shape, she had to go through the skirt and stretch out all the tulle because there were so many pulls in it). Really, $1300 isn''t too bad for a wedding dress, but I just know that if I sell it I''ll only be able to get a MAX of like $500. If someone would even buy it. I''m not sure if there are a lot of girls out there who would like it enough to want to buy it.

God this is really the absolute worst feeling. FI would kill me if I bought another dress. I feel so stupid and superficial for caring so much about something I will wear for 12 hours, but OMG I love this other dress.
 
Date: 12/8/2007 11:27:40 AM
Author:karasue91
I was bad again and looking at Ebay for the Melissa Sweet Dora dress, and there is one on there. It is absolutely my dream dress and this is my size. The only thing is that the hem might be a little short if I want to wear heels. She said it was hemmed for someone who was about 5''7'', and I am 5''6'' and already bought shoes with 3.5'' heels that can''t be returned (also from ebay)

The more I look at my dress (link to my dress thread) the more I feel like it just makes my legs look really short and stumpy (I''m wearing 3.5 inch heels in the pics). I really love that my dress is unique, but I am just so in love with the Dora. I bought my dress for $800 and alterations have already been $500 (the dress was in REALLY bad shape, she had to go through the skirt and stretch out all the tulle because there were so many pulls in it). Really, $1300 isn''t too bad for a wedding dress, but I just know that if I sell it I''ll only be able to get a MAX of like $500. If someone would even buy it. I''m not sure if there are a lot of girls out there who would like it enough to want to buy it.

God this is really the absolute worst feeling. FI would kill me if I bought another dress. I feel so stupid and superficial for caring so much about something I will wear for 12 hours, but OMG I love this other dress.
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Honestly? I think the dress you bought is STUNNING!!! It looks incredible on you, and I think that it has the same ''feeling'' as the Dora, but something different - I don''t know - unique about it that I absolutely love!!!!

Don''t get me wrong, I think the Dora is beautiful, but I think that the dress you purchased is exquisite and looks absolutely perfect on you!!!
 
Karadoll,
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I could sense that something was wrong. I would love to be dress twins with you (triplets with Jas12). I know how it feels to have a tight budget (even with all the "bargaining" the dress was still way out of the budget I originally alotted). I really think the dress you picked is GORGEOUS. You are so tall that there''s no way your legs could look "stumpy." No one but a tall person like you could pull that off. Could it be that you''re looking for reasons to dislike it?

The shoes are amazing...you absolutely MUST wear those shoes. Even though the girl selling her dress on ebay is your size, you are curvier than she is. She has a boyish figure, and you''d need to get the waist altered (along with adding something to the hem, somehow).

I say this with all honesty, your dress is stunning. I think you and I were both looking for the same characteristics in a dress...floaty, feminine, vintagey quality with a touch of modern, fun and absolutely unique. I am not sure how to advise you! The rational angel in me is saying "stop shopping. No more spending!" The stubborn devil in me is saying...never mind. We don''t want to hear from her.

Keep me updated. I want to help.
 
I agree you look great in the dress you already have - it shows off your divine figure so well. In person I can't imagine it will look like you have stubby legs. The Dora is nice too and you can always pick out different shoes. Although you should be able to resell the Dora after the wedding and recoup some of the cost. The one thing I like about the Dora is how the bottom part of the skirt falls, but I love the top half of your dress. Tough decision as both are lovely.
 
Oh I wanted to add...there was a reason why you bought your dress in the first place. You should remind yourself of those reasons!!
 
Date: 12/8/2007 12:10:53 PM
Author: CrownJewel
Oh I wanted to add...there was a reason why you bought your dress in the first place. You should remind yourself of those reasons!!
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AND remember how just recently you wrote about how once you tried on your dress at the most recent fitting all your fears went away! Remember that feeling!
 
I LUV LUV LUV the dress you bought. It looks just absolutely perfect on you. It is unique and simply stunning. I think the Dora is very beautiful as well. However, the dress you bought.......is YOUR DRESS. IMHO anyway.
 
Dresses are such a matter of personal preference, but for my taste, I like your current gown. I think it is so wonderfully unique. I am your same height and my shoes are the same height, and I can tell in the pictures that you look very well-proportioned in your dress. I definitely would have never ever thought your legs looked stumpy. I sympathize, though, I know what you are going through. And I got a new dress, so I would never tell someone not to keep looking if they don''t love their dress. But, for what it''s worth, I love your dress on you!
 
Thanks so much everyone, you are all so sweet and it really helps a lot.

October, haha I know, I feel absolutely ridiculous since I did write that all my doubts were gone after the last fitting.

I don''t know, the part I don''t like about my dress is mostly the neckline. When I first started shopping for dresses I wanted strapless but I didn''t want it to just be straight across the top, so that is what I focus on now. I had wanted a little cleavage, I know it might sound weird to some people to want cleavage at my wedding, but I like a little cleavage!! I''ve thought about trying to change the neckline, but it just wouldn''t go with the rest of the dress since the horizontal bands of tulle are pretty much the whole idea of the dress. And then yesterday I was looking at the pictures again started thinking that maybe it''s not really the most flattering dress, and do I really want to look at my pictures for the rest of my life and wish I had worn something else.

Crown, I''m so happy that you bought the dress!! Also, you are so cute to call me tall at 5''6", hahaha. You are right, I am a little curvier than the girl from ebay, but she listed her waist as 27.5 and mine is about an inch bigger right now but I''ve been in a gluttonous, inactive phase (I''m going to miss NYC restaurants so much!! that makes it ok to pig out before we move, right?) and an inch will be super easy for me to lose. Also, I absolutely adore my shoes too and I would be bummed if I couldn''t wear them.

BlueKeet and Lauralu, thank you so much.

I''m not sure what I''m going to do, still waiting on the girl to get back to me on the length...
 
Date: 12/8/2007 7:39:55 PM
Author: FacetFire
Dresses are such a matter of personal preference, but for my taste, I like your current gown. I think it is so wonderfully unique. I am your same height and my shoes are the same height, and I can tell in the pictures that you look very well-proportioned in your dress. I definitely would have never ever thought your legs looked stumpy. I sympathize, though, I know what you are going through. And I got a new dress, so I would never tell someone not to keep looking if they don''t love their dress. But, for what it''s worth, I love your dress on you!
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Thanks FacetFire. Were you able to sell your first dress or did you just eat the cost?
 
Short and stumpy at 5''6" with 3.5" heels?! As a 5''1" girl who can''t wear heels higher than 1", I find this plain ridiculous! You''re a beautiful woman, stop being so self-critical!
 
Date: 12/8/2007 12:10:53 PM
Author: CrownJewel
Oh I wanted to add...there was a reason why you bought your dress in the first place. You should remind yourself of those reasons!!
Click to expand...

Yeah, my dress-buying experience was a little different. I had been searching for months and found a few I liked but I was really discouraged because I felt like I would never find something I loved that I could afford. So I went to this sale that benefitted breast cancer with the mindset that I really wanted to buy something if I found anything I liked. I tried on this one and it was normally $5500, marked down to $750. So, I was a bit seduced by the price, and I really liked the idea that my purchase was benefitting a charity!

I did like the dress and I wanted something unique, but now I wish I had just waited for something that didn''t just work....you know?
 
Well, we were not supposed to hear from the "bad CrownJewel
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" but if you''re emailing the girl from ebay, you might as well know...and please don''t hate me for telling you this
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... that the size 8 sample from Wedding Atelier is on sale. Mona offered it to me, but I told her I would rather have one made to my measurements instead of hacking the sample apart. If you really think you won''t be happy with your dress, then I would pay another visit to WA. Tell them your story, I''m sure they''ll give you an extra special deal.

(
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Running off to hide after adding fuel to the fire).
 
Date: 12/8/2007 8:43:24 PM
Author: CrownJewel
Well, we were not supposed to hear from the ''bad CrownJewel
11.gif
'' but if you''re emailing the girl from ebay, you might as well know...and please don''t hate me for telling you this
40.gif
... that the size 8 sample from Wedding Atelier is on sale. Mona offered it to me, but I told her I would rather have one made to my measurements instead of hacking the sample apart. If you really think you won''t be happy with your dress, then I would pay another visit to WA. Tell them your story, I''m sure they''ll give you an extra special deal.


(
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Running off to hide after adding fuel to the fire).
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hahahaha CJ, did she give you a quote on a price for the sample? Their samples are in such good shape too!!
 
no she didn''t...but I imagine it would be as good as, if not better, than the deal on ebay.
 
I''m echoing everyone else''s comments -- I think that your dress looks absolutely amazing on you! It''s very unique and pretty, and you look stunning in your picture. I hope that you decide to keep it...good luck!
 
I like the dress you have now better than the Dora. I think your dress looks great on you and you don''t look short and stumpy at all! It sounds like you''re just having buyer''s remorse. Plus the dress on eBay isn''t quite the right size and it''s too short, which is impossible to fix. I think you should just ignore the eBay dress and really think about whether or not you don''t want your dress anymore. If you really don''t like your dress anymore, then here my rationalization for you to buy a new dress:

It''s only money...you can''t take it with you! If you skip buying a few pairs of jeans or shoes and a handbag or two you will have saved the same amount as what you''re spending on a new dress! (This is assuming you''re a shopper like me, of course!) So just buy the new dress! I pretty much never regret buying something I want but I do occasionally regret not buying something I really want.
 
Date: 12/8/2007 7:56:26 PM
Author: karasue91

Date: 12/8/2007 7:39:55 PM
Author: FacetFire
Dresses are such a matter of personal preference, but for my taste, I like your current gown. I think it is so wonderfully unique. I am your same height and my shoes are the same height, and I can tell in the pictures that you look very well-proportioned in your dress. I definitely would have never ever thought your legs looked stumpy. I sympathize, though, I know what you are going through. And I got a new dress, so I would never tell someone not to keep looking if they don''t love their dress. But, for what it''s worth, I love your dress on you!
Click to expand...


Thanks FacetFire. Were you able to sell your first dress or did you just eat the cost?
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I''m still trying to sell it. I think I may have started the price out a bit too high, since it seems like the most you can ever seem to get is 50% of purchase price -- as a rough rule, of course. I hope that I can sell it before the wedding, though, because it would be nice to put the money toward something else....

Any new thoughts on your debate?
 
FF I forgot you were the one with the Vera Wang! Have you tried Ebay?

Well I called the Wedding Atelier and I have an appointment at 4. It''s bad, but I''ve already worked with someone there a few months ago and that was the first place I tried on the Dora. She knew I loved it but couldn''t afford it. So, I''m going to take the angle that I still can''t stop thinking about the dress, and that I thought I would see if they might want to sell their sample since it''s a little older now and maybe they are thinking about getting a new sample anyway? Haha and then if she tells me no, I''ll just mention that an "acquiantence" of mine recently purchased the dress there and that the salesperson offered her the sample...

Ugh the more I think about it, the less happy I am with the dress I have now. This is so frusterating because really, the dress is the last thing people remember. They will remember the food, the decor, the good or bad time they had but I know for me, if you ask me what the dress looked like for almost any wedding I have gone to all I could say about it was "umm...it was white?" hahaha

But, on the other hand, every bride remembers the dress she wore. So I guess it''s more about my own memories than my guests. Of course I want them to have a great time, but maybe on this aspect it''s OK to be selfish...ughhhh
 
I totally understand! The funny thing is that I had much more of a WOW moment with my original dress and several others I tried on before I actually picked my new Romona dress. My Romona was more of a logical decision, which is funny, because that''s actually much more of a "me" way to pick something. I am not a bride-moment kind of dress person, so I think I may have led myself wrong several times because a dress was more striking or unusual, not because it was actually the right dress for me, if that makes any sense at all. :) I think I was looking too hard to have a "moment" rather than thinking logically about how I wanted to look on my wedding day and look back on my wedding gown.

I think you should definitely try on the Dora. You''re doubts are not getting reassured by all the nice things people have to say about your current dress, and that tells you something. When people tried so nicely to reassure me about the Vera, I still never bought back into it. See if you can sneak a pic of you in the Dora...I know we would love to see! I hope this trip to the shop helps you figure it all out!
 
Facet, here''s a link to Karasue looking super gorgeous in the Dora --> Karasue in Dora

It''s one of those dresses that you put on and you just cannot get it out of your head. It was the first and last dress I tried on. There were about 10 or 15 more in between, but the more I dresses tried on, the more I knew that Dora was perfect for me.

Karasue, you probably won''t even need alterations on the sample, huh? From the photos, it looks like it fit you like a glove.

I expect a FULL report tonight!!! By the way, I think that whichever dress you wear (the Angel Sanchez or the Dora) everyone will remember the dress. The Angel Sanchez is also unique. It''s one of those dresses that you don''t see on just anyone because not everyone can pull it off like you can. I loved an Angel Sanchez at Bridal Garden...those dresses feel so great on! Anyway, I can''t wait to hear what happens at WA.
 
OMG looking at those pics of myself in the Dora again is so painful!! I''ll definitely let everyone know how it goes at WA....

God, how am I going to sneak another dress past FI?? Our NYC apartment is sooo tiny...hahaha
 
Keep it at MY tiny apt! (Caution: I may take it out often, to um...make sure it is free of wrinkles).

Maybe keep it with relatives or ship it to friends in Calgary?
 
Thanks, Crown! I must''ve missed that thread. Karasue, you look beautiful in the Dora also! I can see why you are so torn. Let us know how it goes!
 
You look gorgeous in both dresses, but I like the uniqueness of your dress more. I get this vintage romantic feeling from your dress. It''s not everyday you see a bride in such a gown, and it has that "WOW" factor for me.

On the other hand, you are the bride and you are the one wearing the gown. If you don''t love it, might/will regret wearing it and can afford to get a second gown, then you should get the one you truly love. Sometimes you just have to follow your heart.
 
Well, I did it. I bought the sample. And a veil.

CrownJewel - I feel like I hijacked your dress, and I feel really awful about it. It sounds like you don''t mind, and I clearly don''t mind having the same dress as someone else, I just really hope you don''t feel disappointed that I got the same dress as you. You have really been so awesome and helpful and I wouldn''t have the dress if it weren''t for you, so thank you thank you thank you from the bottom of my heart. Really you are amazing!!

Well, here are the pics. She gave me a fantastic deal on the veil too, it''s exactly like the veil I tried on with the dress at PoB and the girl at PoB told me it was $500. Pshaw!! The veil is so adorable!! She called it a "cage" veil...she pulled it out when I asked if she had a birdcage veil to try on with it. I absolutely love it, it''s so poufy and fun...I remember someone on here talking about how they wanted to make a Ramona Keveza-esque veil, and this kinda reminds me of one just cuz its poufy and can go all over the place if I want it to.

Everyone else: thank you so much for all your kind words, but FacetFire was right, all the great things people were saying just didn''t make me feel better about it. And now I am absolutely in LOVE with my (our, CJ!!) dress!!!!

Dora 001 resized.JPG
 
Other side...you can see the poufy veil

Dora 003 resized.jpg
 
Back

Dora 004 resized.jpg
 
Oh...yay! I am just SO glad that you are happy! That''s what matters the most! And I can tell that you are...just look at that big beautiful smile in all those pics! You look stunning in this dress. And happy, most of all...happy! I am glad that you went and did it. Here''s the difference: no matter what we say now, even if someone didn''t like this new dress as much...I bet you''d still love it. And that''s when you know you''ve found YOUR dress. That''s how I feel in my new dress. Some people still said they prefered the Vera, but it doesn''t even phase me. I am glad you found a happy ending to your dress doubts! You make a beautiful bride!
 
Aw Karasue! I''m so happy for you! I don''t feel like you hijacked my dress at all. Please, I''m not the type to say "so and so is wearing/doing the same thing as me." I think of it more as, "we both have the same great taste!" I expect to share a lot more about our dress in the future. Besides, I guess we should be hoping that Jas12 doesn''t mind!!!

It looks faaaaaaaaaaaaaantastic on you!!!!!!! Did you work with Carrie again? Will you need it altered in any way?

So will you be storing it at my apt?
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