Don''t Judge Me, Please!

[february2003bride]

UCLA-

First, I want to say that I LOVE your Tiffany ring!! And you got such a good deal on it too, I would really think long and hard about giving that up. Plus, you did just get your new wedding band to go with it, correct?

Second, I''m not going to judge you! When my princess diamond chipped, I got a .91 round, then 2 weeks later, switched to a 1.33. I put that into a standard 6 prong solitare, and yesterday found the right setting for my stone. That''s a LOT of switching in a short period of weeks! Not to mention the 3 (?) setting changes I had with my princess cut? After my round diamond gets reset into it''s new setting, I''m done. I knew my 6 prong was a temporary setting though, and I came upon the new setting just browsing while dropping of my rings to get cleaned. But my mind set this time around was I was not going to remove my stone from that temp. setting until I found THE setting.

Personally, I wouldn''t change your set. You finally have your wedding band after going through that decision process, you got it for a steal, and it''s gorgeous! So many women would love to have a real Tiffany set; you are very lucky!

Coming from someone who''s been around the block a few times on this subject, the grass is always greener. There will always be a prettier, bigger, nicer ring out there. At some point you just need to stop (unless you have no debt with a lot of disposible income), love what you have, be grateful for what you have, and realize it''s just a ring. And a fabulous ring at that! The Cartier ring will be there in the future for a great anniversary gift/ new upgrade.

I don''t think you need to leave Pricescope. But there is a difference between apprecipating all the beautiful rings here and wanting them! One can hope though

The Cartier ring IS amazing. But you can also get a fantastic replica with a better, bigger, less expensive diamond! But you should keep the Tiffany rings you have, love them, and stop trying on other engagement rings!

 

[Mara]

oooh i totally agree with the advice from these other ladies here. you definitely should realize that you can adore and love other rings and diamonds out there but you don''t have to feel like you need to own it or switch out your ring to get that one etc.

this may sound funny coming from a chronic upgrader like me, but for me it was more about size, like i knew what i wanted and i knew i wanted to get there and it was a mission til i did. and yes i think all the time about changing my setting, i don''t really love it all that much anymore, my tastes have changed i guess. but it''s still my set, and i''m a little lazy about changing it and i know that greg loves it...so i''ll keep it for now. i don''t know what i would change to because as much as i like diff settings here and there, i have been around the diamond block enough now to know that my tastes will continue to change so that i shouldn''t pidgeonhole myself into anything for TOO long term in the future. aka don''t know that i''d want to ever spend $5k or something on a setting given that 5 or 10 years later i might be over it. i like the idea of going more simple so that i could jazz it up or switch it out in the future with lower $$ loss.

PS is bad for the mind in terms of ''oh i want that'' or whatever..and going into stores and trying stuff on makes it that much easier to think you want to own something. i really do try to stop and give myself reality checks more often than not now.

i agree on waiting ~6 months and see how you feel then. the setting that you want is not going anywhere, so you have the time. also i agree with the others re: perceived value. just because a tiff ring is $27k retail doesn''t necessarily mean a thing on the resale market. in terms of consignment, i''d check with SP but also i think wink had a pretty good consignment policy if i remember correctly...so i''d check with him as well as some of the other options that PS''ers mentioned here.

 

[Sparkles22]

Date: 2/5/2008 7:27:40 AM
Author: Madam Bijoux
When you want to trade a ring in to a store that did not make the ring, I think you have to hold onto it for at least 10 years to get a trade-in value that is somewhat close to the price you paid. But you might never get the full price you paid when you trade it in. What about waiting a year and getting the Cartier ring as a first anniversary gift

?

This sounds like a win-win to me

. Or if you have the money, get it as a RHR.

I know how you feel! I changed my mind a couple times before we were married, and I think part of it was "I have to have the perfect ring for the wedding, and this is going to be something I wear everyday so it has to be perfect, and it''s going to be in all the pictures" (it was like I was having cold feet with the ring LOL), so I felt I needed to hurry up and hunt down the perfect forever ring and make sure it was. But after all is said and done, I kind of miss my original e-ring we picked out together

, even though it was smaller and in YG and probably poorly cut, etc. And of course I traded it in and got something bigger, which I picked out alone, and liked but it wasn''t the same. And I can''t get the sentiment back. I wish I had at least kept it, even if I did get a new one.

So this year for our 5th anniversary (like 6 months early LOL) hubby and I picked out a new center stone together, and I don''t plan on trading it in. This time if I get that feeling again, I will channel it into the "perfect RHR or necklace or whatever" because I know I would regret making my hubby feel like he didn''t pick it out or help with the decision, or "buy it for me"..(even though it''s our money

) (again).

I am not judging you, I know how you feel! I think we are all diamond obsessed here!!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Date: 2/4/2008 10:41:47 PM
Author: Çã†hër§

Date: 2/4/2008 4:54:05 PM
Author: diamondseeker2006
I know the feeling very well, that there is always something around the corner just a little more beautiful. It is hard for some of us to choose settings, because it is hard to narrow it down to one.

My caution to you is that unless you stop looking at rings on the internet and in jewelry stores, you are always going to find another one that you love and wish you had.

If I were you, I''d keep the Tiffany ring especially since it was a good deal, and hope to eventually find the Cartier ring second hand. Then you can wear the Tiffany ring on your right hand, since 3 stone rings make great right hand rings. Or even if you can''t find it second hand, perhaps your husband can get you the Cartier ring if you still really love it for your 5th or 10th anniversary. You can start your ''dream ring'' savings account now! And then if in 5-10 years you like something else even better, you can go for that instead!

diamondseeker, after reading your response, I felt compelled to post. You, indirectly gave me the kick in the arse wake up call I needed, because, even tho I LOVE my e-ring, I find myself constantly looking at, mooning over and wondering ''what if?'' and saying ''will my diamond fit in that setting?'' Your reply was honest and straightforward and what I needed to hear. It''s like at Christmas, I contract the ''one-more itis'' disease for my children: they just need one more thing, one more thing, when, in fact, they really don''t

I am glad it helped you! We all suffer from this because we are constantly bombarded with new, beautiful diamonds and rings all the time on this forum! There has to be a point that we become content with what we have and just be happy for those with new rings! I agonized over trading my stone in, but finally have decided to keep it and am setting it in platinum, which I wouldn''t do until I was sure I was keeping it! Hopefully I can be content with my rings and move on to some other projects!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 2/5/2008 11:28:16 AM
Author: UCLABelle
I do feel though that I must bid goodbye to PS. It is simply fueling the fire...

and I simply cannot see all these awesome rings all the time and wait for the ''desire'' for them to pass....so I probably just have to cut it off (I guess this means I will not be visiting the new HW in summer 2008 when it opens in Costa Mesa!!!!!).

Looking at diamond websites too frequently makes it harder for one to be satified with what they have. When I''ve taken breaks from PS in the past, it''s always been therapeutic in helping me realize how content I am with what few, yet beautiful pieces I have. It''s impossible to have everything!

I don''t think leaving PS forever is necesary, but possible a break is a good thing? At least long enough for you to learn to love your current ring all over again.

Best of luck to you

 

[kelpie]

Personally, I think trading in your tiffany is something you''d come to regret. But...just to put you more in a twist...did you see this?

 

[door knob solitaire]

Looks like everyone has chickened out...OK OK I AM JUDGING YOU!

Tiffany to Cartier??? Well la te da. Life just isn''t good enough for you?

(kidding...said it for a laugh)

Sweetie...I don''t know if others love for YOUR ring will change your feelings...but go back and start at the top of this thread...every entry reminds you what a beaut you have. Well, I must concur that ring is simply stunning. It is unique. No one here has one like it. I haven''t seen another anywhere...and on your finger it looks like it belongs to you. I wish I had some magic dust to sprinkle and make those hunger pains go away...if you were here with me I would take a really big shovel and hit you upside the head to knock some sense into you...we will have to hope someone else can do it for me. That ring is going to make some classic ring portraits...your wedding photographer will make you fall in love with that ring all over again...I am just sure of it!


"First of all, let me just say that I think that your ring is absolutely gorgeous and stunning, and I would give a toe to get something that nice from Tiffany''s"- vespergirl

Admin: can we offer body parts for compensation? It is after all a Tiffany!

It is just a toe...vesper should have others. Just asking...

 

[vespergirl]

Doorknobsolitaire, you totally crack me up! I was going to say that I would give a finger, but I need those to wear my rings on

 

[NewEnglandLady]

DKS, you never cease to make me laugh with your witty posts. I love them!

I wasn''t going to weigh in on this because I agree with everybody, but just wanted to say that I do think it''s harder for those who never had an "orignal" e-ring. There are so many beautiful rings out there (we know because they''re all on PS!), so it''s too easy to get sucked into wanting something else. I think what most women fall in love with is the sentimentality of their ring. I can definitely relate to Haven when she said she''s looked at tons of rings and never found one as much as she loves as hers--that''s how I feel, but I know it''s because of the thought that went behind the ring even more than the ring itself. I think that''s why so many women are prone to buy rings in addition to their original e-ring, or even resetting the original stone. As Sparkles said, it''s really hard to give up the ring you both fell in love with originally, even if your tastes change, you become more educated, etc.

I think in your case as well as Vespergirl''s and others when the e-ring has already been changed around a few times, it''s easier to want to switch because the emotional part is somewhat removed. Or it''s easy to obsess over what you think you want, then when you get it, the focus switches to something else. I love your Tiffany ring, it was a fantastic bargain and it''s absolutely beautiful. I would definitely recommend starting a fund for another ring and see how you feel in 6 months. If you need to leave PS for a bit, that''s understandable, but I think the bigger issue is getting over the "what if this is better" thing because it can be costly and I don''t know if the other ring would make you happier, per se. If it would, then there''s nothing wrong with that, you just don''t want to get caught in a cycle.

I got all longwinded again...the bottom line is that you should be happy with your ring, but I think you have to first identify what exactly would make you happy so you don''t want to keep switching (with no upgrade policy!

 

[coda72]

I definitely am not judging you because I feel the same way you do. I''m not 100% happy with my ring, but it would cost too much $$$ to change it. So, I''m going to keep my ring the same for now, and maybe at my 5 year anniversary in 2 years I''ll make some changes. You do have a very beautiful ring from Tiffany, so maybe it should be your good for now ring. You can get a different ring after you''re married on one of your anniversary dates

 

[BriBee]

I have experienced a similar feeling recently. My ring has been at a local jeweler getting some work done, and I''ve been wearing my mom''s RB in a plain solitaire setting as a sub. e-ring. I NEVER thought I liked rounds, or solitaires, for myself, but not that I''ve been wearing this ring, I kinda LOVE it! I''m hoping that when I get my e-ring back that I''ll feel differently, but who knows? In order to satisfy this new "craving" for the time being, I''m going to get a fakey ring that I can wear from time to time (like on vacation when I don''t want to have my real ring). Then, after a while if I still love it, I''ll think about changing or adding to my collection or whatever. I just thought that maybe you could find something similar and cheap to buy as a "try-out" or something, you might feel like you don''t want to change, or you really do. But either way it would be a less expensive way to try and make up your mind.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 2/6/2008 1:51:38 PM
Author: BriBee
I just thought that maybe you could find something similar and cheap to buy as a ''try-out'' or something, you might feel like you don''t want to change, or you really do. But either way it would be a less expensive way to try and make up your mind.

Great idea! The Cartier 1895 ring is knocked off CONSTANTLY. There is NO NEED to "have one made" ... even Target has cheapie gemstone versions. It is an iconic shape/style -- MUCH easier to find an itch-scratching replacement than almost any other style! Its funny how wearing something for even a few days can make one MEH about the whole thing. My anny asscher gemstone halo ring is NICE and all, but I''m glad I didn''t get a super expensive one ... I hardly wear it! Turns out I just don''t like RHRs for daily wear.

This is a completely valid technique for managing the "me wantie" syndrome 100% common among jewelry lovers. WITHOUT trading in your e-ring & taking $$$$ hits every time an urge strikes.

 

[vespergirl]

I totally second the idea of getting a cheap "fakie" to road-test a different ring before you buy it. I ordered 4 different "Absolute" CZ rings from HSN before deciding to trade in my asscher. I tried an asscher 3-stone, a cushion solitaire, a RB solitaire & an RB with channel-set square baguettes to see if I liked any of them better than the asscher.

I ended up wearing the RBs all the time for over a month before I seriously thought about doing the switch. The two rings I thought that I would actually prefer, the asscher 3-stone and the cushion, as pretty as they were, didn''t suit my hand as much. So I am totally for trying some fakies if you think you still want to change down the road before you make a move.

 

[Beacon]

Before you make a final decision you should check with Tiffany and see if they will honor the one time upgrade on your ring even though you purchased it on the secondary market. It might be more cost effective than buying the Cartier and you might get more out of that trade up.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Date: 2/6/2008 4:02:51 PM
Author: Beacon
Before you make a final decision you should check with Tiffany and see if they will honor the one time upgrade on your ring even though you purchased it on the secondary market. It might be more cost effective than buying the Cartier and you might get more out of that trade up.

Yikes! I think she said Tiffany valued it at something like $27,000, so that would mean she'd have to buy a ring costing $54,000!!!! I'm thinking most of us (especially the younger girls) couldn't do a Tiffany upgrade!

 

[beau13]

So..this beautiful ring is now for sale...and you stated you purchased another e-ring? I (along with many others, I''m sure) would LOVE to see pics of this new ring your purchased? Good luck selling this beauty!!

 

[Ellen]

Date: 2/11/2008 7:17:54 PM
Author: beau13
So..this beautiful ring is now for sale...and you stated you purchased another e-ring? I (along with many others, I''m sure) would LOVE to see pics of this new ring your purchased? Good luck selling this beauty!!

How do you know all this beau?

 

[beau13]

 

[Ellen]

Date: 2/11/2008 7:30:38 PM
Author: beau13
Hey Ellen, got the details from her post on another site!

That''s what I thought.

Don''t you think if she wanted us all to know, she would have posted it here? Why did you feel compelled to post this?

 

[beau13]

Sorry, I meant no harm, I just got excited that she may have purchased the ring she was wanting...I guess I was being selfish asking for pics. I didn''t think it was supposed to be a secret since it was posted publically for all to see? Again, I apologize~

 

[Ellen]

Date: 2/11/2008 7:44:33 PM
Author: beau13
Sorry, I meant no harm, I just got excited that she may have purchased the ring she was wanting...I guess I was being selfish asking for pics. I didn''t think it was supposed to be a secret since it was posted publically for all to see? Again, I apologize~

That, I find hard to believe. This is not the first time you''ve done something like this. i.e. bringing up info from another board.

If I''m wrong, I''m wrong. But I''m usually not wrong about stuff like this.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Maybe Andrey or Ali could delete the last few posts on the thread? I do think it should be up to UCLA Belle to decide when or if she wants to announce this.

 

[cutes814]

belle, i know exactly how you feel. i had to take a long break from ps cuz there were too many beautiful rings floating around and made me want to change or upgrade mine! and with everything else going on in my life, i know it wouldn''t happen for awhile, so i had to leave ps for 6 months (or more, i think) and now that i''m back, i feel fine!

 

[UCLABelle]

Okay, so I am home ill today, and thought I would look at my post and YIKES

So, I did post in another listing of the ring (when I was selling) that I had purchased another. I simply did that instead of explaining the whole "I am selling this ring...and then going to buy another...once I get the money...". I STILL ONLY HAVE ONE E-RING If I did get another ring, I would share with my PS friends (regardless of what people might think).

Although, I have been holding out on posting some new Tiffany Aria earrings I got a while ago (too lazy to take pics....)

Taking a break from PS is helping to a degree, but the more and more and more I thought about it, and I took about a week (and clearly need more like a year)... I started to think that perhaps it had to do with wanting the traditional fire and sparkle of a round brilliant...every time I try on a ring that has more sparkle, I just about fall head over heels. Granted, I got a steal on my current e-ring, and the one before that, but perhaps it may not have been exactly what I would have picked (this is of course, my fault)...

HOWEVER, I am going to try and keep my e-ring (try being the operative word) and not want others

 

[lumpkin]

UCLABelle, I have to admit, I go through this whole thing every once in a while. If you wait awhile and in a month or two you are still losing sleep, even if you don't oogle over the new rings on the SMTRT, maybe an EC isn't all that for you. HOWEVER, if you can keep this one and then get a RB, I think that would be better. It's just too easy to get into a cycle of trading your e-ring, and unless you have a really excellent trade policy, you will lose money. You might end up like me, once having a 2 carat and ending up with less than 1. I don't regret my decision to go from a pear to a RB, but if I had been more decisive, I could have gotten a really nice, much bigger RB in the first place. I certainly won't judge you because I've been there myself, but I'd hate for you to end up in my shoes. I love my diamond, but I'm missing the size sometimes.....and at this point, I can't justify buying or trading again. (And this is probably the first time I've really admitted that here because it's my own fault, after all.) No judgment, here, just take care.

 

[UCLABelle]

Lumpkin- Thank you so much for your honest post. This is why I love it on these forums so much, so many wonderful people who really have your best interests at heart. I really agree that I should wait, and try to get both (or perhaps a blingy eternity ring) instead of trading mine in...I would fear that I would struggle with losing carats and color (which I would have to) and that when all said and done, may not make it worth it to me....

Beacon-I cannot afford a trade-in even if they honored the policy...And probably wouldn't be willing to spend that much on a ring...seeing as it is enough for a down payment on a bigger place

 

[decodelighted]

Glad you checked in but sorry you''re under the weather! Found this interesting ...

Date: 2/13/2008 2:49:27 PM
Author: UCLABelle
every time I try on a ring that has more sparkle, I just about fall head over heels.

Makes total sense but I wanted to point out that the combo of jewelry store lights & super clean brand new rings (of any shape) will always be on maximum dazzle mode & not a fair representative of what even the most sublime ring would be like *at home* or in regular office light, sprinkled with Chex dust or splatters of hairspray etc etc

I''m sure you realize this but actively using this thought to demystify & deglamorize the fantasy of fab new ring X ... like over & over again ... might help. Similar realizations/strategies help me debunk various cravings.

 

[UCLABelle]

Deco-Thank you...I will actually be having surgery, so hopefully I won''t be sick for much longer...As for diamonds...this is so true! I hate the fact that I have to use a jewelry cleaner almost every moment to keep my ring in "Diamond Sparkle Shape "....There is a huge difference between step-cuts and brilliants though...a nice difference, but sometimes it is hard to not lust after something different. The best part is, just a few day break helped....I just missed my PS friends so much hehe...

(also, for a side note-your wedding pics are my moms fav, she saw them the other night and she wanted me to scratch my planning and have a wedding like yours...but I am just not that creative!!!!!)

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 2/13/2008 2:49:27 PM
Author: UCLABelle
I started to think that perhaps it had to do with wanting the traditional fire and sparkle of a round brilliant...every time I try on a ring that has more sparkle, I just about fall head over heels.

UCLAbelle, I have been following this thread and I am really glad to see you back! I feel your pain! I have a three-stone emerald cut ring and ever since finding PS I have been hearing the siren song of an ideal cut round brilliant...sparkle sparkle

. Like you, I adore my step cut stones (center is a sapphire), but I yearn for a really big RB

. Sometimes I think I might trade in my 1cttw EC sides, add some moolah and get a nice 1ct RB and then keep trading up up up over the years until I am at my ideal size (does one ever reach enough?). But like you I love my e-ring so much! Ah the dilemma... For now I think I am going to keep my current ring... and get an RB as well! haha... I will get a nice 3/4 ct to start and work my way up, and then I will at least have a *little* sparkle to satisfy the PS beast in my belly!

Maybe you too can get a smaller RB than you ideally want from a place with 100% trade-in and work up to a larger stone over the years? But I''m glad you are keeping your current e-ring. It is STUNNING and much nicer than that other-ring-you-wanted-that-shall-remian-nameless!

DD

 

[TravelingGal]

I really think it would be great if you could keep yours and get the other later...I think there would be a lot you''d miss about your EC! Plus it was SUCH a steal, knowing what you got it for...I can''t imagine getting a 1.5 EC Tif for the price you paid. I realize you are trying to make a profit on it, but personally I wouldn''t let it go. You may have a knack for finding deals, so maybe you will get your RB for a steal! Just hang tight.