Don’t know what to do

[principesse]

For as long as I remember I’ve wanted a nice pair of diamond studs substantial enough that that I can both wear them every day as well as to weddings and events. The kind you have for life and don’t need to upgrade. As I’ve been very inexperienced, I’ve always thought 2ctw was the size that fit that description for everyone and also thought my earlobes were on the smaller size. My jeweler did not have any pairs to try. I initially fell in love with a different shaped pair that were a little under 2ctw but when I tried them on they were shockingly small, so we started looking at 2ctw rounds and my jeweler said the size wouldn’t be much different. She showed me a loose 1.28 ct diamond in comparison to a 1ct diamond and we thought that would be a good size and would also fit the budget. I did not get to hold it up to my ear though. Now I’ve received those earrings and am not happy with them unfortunately, as it turns out my earlobes are larger than I anticipated. I feel like they look like a much smaller ctw on me (nothing wrong at all, it’s just It’s just not the look I was going for). I now feel that 3ctw would be the right size for me but don’t know how to approach this since these were a very kind gift from my husband. Should I just buy myself another pair and keep these in the safe as a back up pair? Should I approach my jeweler about trading them in?
I am also not very happy about the setting, as it’s a martini setting and a bit uncomfortable. Would a basket setting be better?
I really don’t want to sound ungrateful, I’m so grateful and that’s why I want to make sure everything is right with this purchase, as it’s a very big purchase and I don’t think it’s right to just be half pleased with it. I’m even open to returning them altogether tbh.

 

[0515vision]

There must be a return period, yes? And wouldn't your husband understand that the martinis are uncomfortable? Many people like flat backed baskets at that size. Also, any jeweler should be happy to trade up in size.

As for size, hopefully your husband will understand the idea of lobe coverage. Some people buy varied size CZs off Amazon and test out the sizes. Best of luck with this! You don't sound ungrateful. Many many many people have been in your shoes with studs, e -rings, upgrades and the like!

 

[principesse]

There must be a return period, yes? And wouldn't your husband understand that the martinis are uncomfortable? Many people like flat backed baskets at that size. Also, any jeweler should be happy to trade up in size.

As for size, hopefully your husband will understand the idea of lobe coverage. Some people buy varied size CZs off Amazon and test out the sizes. Best of luck with this! You don't sound ungrateful. Many many many people have been in your shoes with studs, e -rings, upgrades and the like!

Thank you so much for your understanding. Yes, it is about lobe coverage as you said. My studs could look huge on someone else, it’s all very individual. I just feel so bad cause my husband already increased his budget to get these and I’ve already returned one pair (the cushion cuts) the same day I went to pick them up, so I feel bad for the jeweler too. I’m also a weirdly sentimental person about jewelry.
If I do keep this pair, I will definitely have them reset to a basket setting. I know in my heart though that I will keep longing for a certain degree of lobe coverage if I don’t upgrade these now, which tells me this is not the right purchase.

 

[mrs-b]

Thank you so much for your understanding. Yes, it is about lobe coverage as you said. My studs could look huge on someone else, it’s all very individual. I just feel so bad cause my husband already increased his budget to get these and I’ve already returned one pair (the cushion cuts) the same day I went to pick them up, so I feel bad for the jeweler too. I’m also a weirdly sentimental person about jewelry.
If I do keep this pair, I will definitely have them reset to a basket setting. I know in my heart though that I will keep longing for a certain degree of lobe coverage if I don’t upgrade these now, which tells me this is not the right purchase.

@principesse -

I have enormous earlobes. Well, *I* feel like they're enormous. And I've learnt that if a pair of studs is too small for the size of your lobe, to make any considerable difference, you're talking about a significant step up in size.

To that end - would you consider getting yourself a set of diamond jackets? It's the surefire way to get more presence on the ear, while also allowing you to wear a plain stud, if that's to your taste.

Just a thought.

 

[principesse]

@principesse -

I have enormous earlobes. Well, *I* feel like they're enormous. And I've learnt that if a pair of studs is too small for the size of your lobe, to make any considerable difference, you're talking about a significant step up in size.

To that end - would you consider getting yourself a set of diamond jackets? It's the surefire way to get more presence on the ear, while also allowing you to wear a plain stud, if that's to your taste.

Just a thought.

Thank you for this insight. I think it’s best that I order a bunch of cz studs and see what size looks best on me before making another commitment. I thought about jackets but decided that I really do want plain classic studs that are perfect on me

 

[0-0-0]

Bezel?

 

[foxinsox]

Once you work out your ideal size, would lab be an option to get coverage without breaking the bank?

 

[principesse]

Once you work out your ideal size, would lab be an option to get coverage without breaking the bank?

I really want natural diamonds. I can pay for the upgrade but I think it might hurt my husband’s feelings. I think it would hurt his feelings more though if he paid for something I’m not enjoying. I’m torn between just sucking it up and keeping them (I mean 2.5 ctw studs are nothing to sneeze at at all), or just going for my ultimate dream pair now. Prices will keep rising anyway, so why not do it now. Still very conflicted on what to do tbh.

 

[MissGotRocks]

I really want natural diamonds. I can pay for the upgrade but I think it might hurt my husband’s feelings. I think it would hurt his feelings more though if he paid for something I’m not enjoying. I’m torn between just sucking it up and keeping them (I mean 2.5 ctw studs are nothing to sneeze at at all), or just going for my ultimate dream pair now. Prices will keep rising anyway, so why not do it now. Still very conflicted on what to do tbh.

Honestly, you need to talk to him and explain the situation. His feelings will probably be more hurt if you don't include him in another trade up. You can easily explain this. If you want, tell him you appreciate what he has put into the earrings up until this point, but that you are willing to fund the additional upgrade. Jewelry is a very personal thing; what is good for one isn't good for the other. Don't feel bad - just set about making a pair of earrings that you will love and enjoy!

As far as the settings, I personally prefer a basket type setting. Your jeweler might be able to give you a metal allowance to trade in your settings. If you choose larger diamonds, you will need new settings anyway.

 

[missy]

I was in a similar situation but when we first got engaged so a bit different than your situation. I am a big believer in honesty and upfront communication. I feel that is the cornerstone of a solid healthy relationship. When I first brought it up he was hurt because he felt he failed me but when we continued to discuss it he understood and got over the initial hurt. Realizing it wasn't a criticism of him at all. It did take many tries to get the ring of my dreams but my dh was beside me supporting me the entire way. So while it was hard to bring up at first it was so worth it and I would never keep a secret from my dh because it would fester and come out in other ways. This is my experience only of course. But I share it to illustrate that you cannot go wrong with honesty if your dh loves you and wants to make you happy. Good luck and fwiw I have big earlobes too and I found that 2.26 carats per stud is what I need to make an impact.

As for finding the perfect size studs...this is how I did it. Maybe it can be helpful for your process

I did cut outs to be able to visualize what size would work best for me
I wanted lobe around the earring and do not care for the look where the stud falls below the lobe if you kwim..so it was a fine line finding the perfect size. To take up much of the lobe but not go over it






Sorry for the blurry selfie close up but just to show you how I came to figuring out my ideal size

 

[lulu_ma]

You’ve already gotten some great advice.

Perhaps start with the setting discomfort and go from there?

Also, what color are the studs and are you color sensitive? Slightly adjusting the color is a way to potentially work within the original budget.

 

[MissGotRocks]

You’ve already gotten some great advice.

Perhaps start with the setting discomfort and go from there?

Also, what color are the studs and are you color sensitive? Slightly adjusting the color is a way to potentially work within the original budget.

Yes, and making sure that you are buying very well cut diamonds. You get more bang from the buck in terms of sparkle with well cut diamonds therefore making a bigger impact on the ears.

 

[Garnetgirl]

I would also do as @lulu_ma start with and emphasize the discomfort of the setting, and the fact that it’s something you couldn’t have know about beforehand.
And then “while we’re at it” …. Go on to address the issue of increasing the size of the diamonds.

 

[0515vision]

(I mean 2.5 ctw studs are nothing to sneeze at at all),

In this day and age, 2.5 tcw isn’t that big. There’s are plenty of ppl routinely wearing 4-6 tcw.

I say this so you don’t feel like you have to like something that doesn’t feel settled in your heart.

 

[principesse]

You’ve already gotten some great advice.

Perhaps start with the setting discomfort and go from there?

Also, what color are the studs and are you color sensitive? Slightly adjusting the color is a way to potentially work within the original budget.

Mine are I color VVS2. I think I is the lowest I’m willing to on on color. They still look great and quite white. I’m willing to go down to VS2 on clarity but personally not lower than that. Something I really feel annoyed about is that I have the jeweler these specs and she and my husband still went with this pie without giving us several options to choose from first.

 

[principesse]

In this day and age, 2.5 tcw isn’t that big. There’s are plenty of ppl routinely wearing 4-6 tcw.

I say this so you don’t feel like you have to like something that doesn’t feel settled in your heart.

I understand that, it’s just a very individual thing:

What size would you guess these were?

Would there be a visible difference between 2.5 and 3 ctw?

 

[lulu_ma]

1.25 ct diamond is 6.75 mm. 1.50 ct diamond is 7.25 mm.

 

[lulu_ma]

Here are some Whiteflash options for you just for a point of comparison. To my eye, the J colors are a very similar face up to the I colors.

Diamond comparison | Compare Diamonds to choose and buy the best one

Whiteflash gives you an excellent opportunity to compare diamonds to make a great deal. With diamond’s parameters provided, you can compare any detail.

www.whiteflash.com

 

[0515vision]

What size would you guess these were?

Since everyone’s lives are different sizes, I can’t guess

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

I really want natural diamonds. I can pay for the upgrade but I think it might hurt my husband’s feelings. I think it would hurt his feelings more though if he paid for something I’m not enjoying. I’m torn between just sucking it up and keeping them (I mean 2.5 ctw studs are nothing to sneeze at at all), or just going for my ultimate dream pair now. Prices will keep rising anyway, so why not do it now. Still very conflicted on what to do tbh.

what about getting 2nd peircings
thwn you an keep them and wear them and still get bigger ones