Does it matter what I think?

[lucidainthesky]

Hi everyone!
I''ve been reading up on the forums, and it really seems like everyone here is not only friendly, but quite informative as well!
Anyway, I''ve been looking into e-rings for a while now, and while usually the search goes from b&m to online vendors, mine''s actually the opposite..

a few months ago my gf and i were looking at e-rings at b&m stores to get an idea, both at malls and at the diamond district in LA. She didn''t like any of the settings whatsoever but came to really adore the the asscher cut. So then we started looking at loose diamonds on blue nile, thinking that we could just get the diamond and custom design the setting. I did my research, and found out there were actually multiple types of asscher cuts, i.e. types listed as square emerald cut (with 4 or less steps) or square-cut cut-cornered step cut (5 steps..i think..that one''s quite a tongue twister). but that I only found out by viewing the GIA cert...I got a bit thrown off by the inconsistencies listed as the general asscher category, and then I read about the whole drop-shipping ordeal which deterred me even more...I tried whiteflash but it was hard to find a good selection of asschers indicating the exact type cut... after a while i just stopped looking. my gf had already stopped thinking about it actually.

a few months pass and just a few weeks ago i somehow start thinking about it again, but this time through a different direction, via T&Co marketing pros...well moreso the aiding help of my friend who works there.. well to make a long story short, i felt T&Co left a positive impression on me in that description of their products are exactly what they are, and they''re consistent. i know there are a lot of people on the forums who don''t agree with their excessive premiums, but through a lot of research, i feel like their product is most reliable.. that''s just me.

sorry to make this first post so long, but it''s almost done, i promise!

I really really fell in love with the tiffany lucida, esp. since it''s not too intricate, and it''s relatively minimal, as i am a minimalist. i would really love to give her exactly that, even if it means i have to compromise on size due to the premium. i think she likes a more antique setting with more design, and i have a feeling she thinks that the lucida and other similar designs are too commonplace.. we have very different tastes and styles, so i''m in a bit of a juxtaposition!! i know i''m not going to be wearing it, but for some strange reason i feel like the lucida would be nicer!

if you could give me any suggestions, from experience or personal views, i''d really appreciate it!! i''ve seem some of the lucida pictures posted on the forums, and they are absolutely beautiful! granted i''ve only seen two... one is from bee* (1.23 ct) and the other is from tenfour (.38 ct)

thanks again for reading such a long post!

-lucida in the sky...with diamonds!

 

[strmrdr]

not really....

show them too her and see what she thinks....

 

[coatimundi_org]

She''s the one who''s going to be wearing it

If she likes antique designs, then I''d go with what she likes. That''s great that you have an appreciation for the lucida--it is lovely, but I''d let her choose the design of the ring and shape of the diamond.

Singlestone.com is a great site for antique rings. It''s in the Los Angeles jewelry district too! If anything, it could help give you ideas

 

[surfgirl]

I really really fell in love with the tiffany lucida, esp. since it''s not too intricate, and it''s relatively minimal, as i am a minimalist. i would really love to give her exactly that, even if it means i have to compromise on size due to the premium.

i think she likes a more antique setting with more design, and i have a feeling she thinks that the lucida and other similar designs are too commonplace.. we have very different tastes and styles, so i''m in a bit of a juxtaposition!! i know i''m not going to be wearing it, but for some strange reason i feel like the lucida would be nicer!

Dude, in a nutshell, it''s not about what you want, it''s about what SHE wants. IMO, with the ering, if you want to WOW her, give her what SHE wants, even if it''s not what you like. You''re not wearing it, she is.

Okay, now that that''s out of the way, if you really like T&Co., why not take her to see the Legacy, it''s their antiquey style and it''s sort of a modified asscher type cut so it''s sort of in between the Lucida and the asscher, but with an antiquey style setting.
Seems like something you both might dig...

 

[Kaleigh]

I''d listen more to what SHE wants.

She''s expressed her desire for an asscher. I''d check out www.goodoldgold.com I bought a lovely asscher from them. Best of luck!!

 

[Hest88]

What Surfgirl said. The engagement ring is a symbol of your love for her, so deliberately getting something YOU like but you know she DOESN''T like would be sending the wrong message, right? That said, I agree that the Legacy would be right up her alley, AND it would be the Tiffany name that you like. Wouldn''t hurt to run that by her.

 

[Sparkalicious]

Somewhat ... of course it matters what you think, however, it is matters MORE what she thinks.
I''m certain that you are looking to get a "Wow" reaction from her and to know that she will be proud and happy to wear such a meaningful piece of jewelry that you have purchased for her for the rest of her life ... if it is something that you have purchased with YOU in mind, then it will likely not hit the mark. If something is purchased with HER in mind, there''s an increased likelihood that it will hit the target!

Just my 2 cents.

 

[nolimits]

I feel your pain as I''m going through a similar situation. My girl has looked at some rings and gave opinions, yet our tastes differ a little in the finer details. I''ve seen several settings I would prefer, but I always go back to the one she was like "WOW" when we stumbled on it. This is hard for me, but she has said she wants me to buy something for her that reflects who she is and that I want her to have. No pressure, eh?

At the end of the day the ring will be hers and her happiness is what matters most; however, I couldn''t buy a ring that I strongly disagreed with as I too would have to see it the rest of my life. I''d have to like it a little and therefore feel your input matters, but is not the primary factor if that makes sense.

As far as where you buy, that''s up to you. Personally I have major issues with paying a premium for a name brand like that. I''d look towards GoodOldGold.com or WinkJones.com. Wink''s store is Winfield''s and he is very knowledgeable. I just started some dealings with him recently and have been very impressed. Also I have been impressed with GOG''s quality. These 2 places appear more custom & quality driven than some of the other popular online vendors normally suggested. Give them a shot and see if you can save a few bucks!

 

[bee*]

I would definitely show them to her and see what she says. D and I looked high and low and the lucida was the first ring that we both loved so I can definitely understand the appeal. Unfortunately though if she''s not in love with it I would get one that she does love seeing as she has to wear it. I know it''s probably easier said then done and I''m saying that from experience as D is a minamalist too and I know there are some things that I buy that he could tear his hair out over, but in the end he says nothing

Show them to her on the website-I think the pictures of the lucida setting on the tiffany website are gorgeous and that''s where we first knew it was the ring for us.

 

[LGK]

I do think it''s important to decide on this together; of course what you think matters, but so does what she thinks- you''re buying it but she''s wearing it... My husband and I have always done our ring shopping together- I wouldn''t decide on something he hated, he will see it just as much as I do almost. (I''m trying to set an upgrade I got for our 11 year anniversary/my bday & I had several settings I really liked that I showed to him and he reaaallly didn''t like; therefore, not gonna go with them).

I''d say you have good reason to try to make a case for the ring that you felt really strongly about- show her the Lucida, and tell her how pretty you think it would look on her. Even more important get it on her hand for her to see! Maybe she''ll love it too. Just because she was leaning towards an asscher in an antique setting, doesn''t mean she might not fall hard for something else, even something totally different. And it could very well be that once she sees it on her she may love it too- things can look so very different on your hand than in pictures or whatever. Then again maybe she''ll hate it, but hey, if you really like it that much I don''t think it would hurt. Especially if you''re open to hearing her say "No, I really like asschers better."

If it is the case that she doesn''t care for the Lucida maybe she would like a minimalist setting (or even a Lucida style one) with an asscher in it- it sounded like you were certain she liked asschers but not positive she wanted only an antique style setting, so perhaps that''s the perfect solution.

(If you''re OK with the idea of paying the Tiffany premium, maybe you''d want to consider a Royal Asscher instead if you are fine with paying top $$ for a guaranteed fine quality, and that way you could avoid the assher confusion? At least I assume Royal Asschers would be guaranteed to be a beautiful cut!)

 

[iheartscience]

I don't think it matters what you think since you're not going to wear it. If she likes antiquey settings and you give her a Lucida, it's going to be very obvious that you got the ring because YOU liked it. A gift, which is what an engagement ring is, should be what the receiver wants and likes, not what the giver wants and likes. I also like more intricate settings and if my fiance had proposed with a Lucida, I would not have been happy with the ring.

As far as the Tiffany debate, it's not worth getting into, but keep in mind that there are several cases here on PS where the Tiffany diamond someone was looking at was not really that well cut. Same goes for Harry Winston and Cartier. There was also a recent poster whose Tiffany ring was set crooked and she had to go there twice to get it fixed. So if you do go for Tiffany you should realize that the diamond may not be the best performing diamond out there, and as for quality, they do mass produce things on a huge scale, so the settings are not necessarily going to be perfect, either. I do think that for some people, going to Tiffany is an easy way out if they're not overly concerned with diamond performance.

Of course there are some people love a brand name just because of the name, but from what you've written, it doesn't seem like your girlfriend really wants a Tiffany ring, so that is something else to consider. I would have been pretty irritated if my boyfriend paid the big mark up for a Tiffany ring and as a result I got a much smaller diamond than what I wanted.

Phew...for the condensed version: it doesn't matter what you like-get her the setting she likes, and think twice about Tiffany!

 

[erica k]

i like modern styles, but i would say that my husband likes them even more. we chose a semi-bezel/tension setting for my ering, although i must confess, it''s a little too wide for my short fingers. my mom gave me a different ring that matches my wb, bead-set with a basket. still modern, but not so sleek and streamlined. now, what i would really love is something more classic yet modern, like a leon mege solitaire. my husband really loves the ring he gave me, but i haven''t worn it regularly for a year. i mainly wear the shared-prong eternity band that i bought recently, and occasionally i will wear my newish wedding set, too. he isn''t upset with me, but there''s definitely a sense of, ''well, money was spent on this, more importantly, it was given with good intentions, so isn''t it a bit of a waste/shame not to wear it?''

so, does it matter what you think? of course it does, but only to an extent. my tastes do not run opposite from my husband''s, as perhaps it does in your case, but he definitely prefers a certain look that i am not 100% sold on. i''m much more eclectic. i like the idea of my ering, but i''m interested in a thinner band for an overall more proportional look.

so, i agree that you should let her try on the lucida, along with other Tiffany styles. but please don''t pressure her by talking about how wonderful the Lucida is. you should give her the space to make her own decision. my husband definitely talks up the positives of modern design when i''m shopping for clothing, jewelry, etc., and back then i felt like i had to be more ''modern'' than i really am. things have changed now as we discussed this ering situation, and our relationship is better because of it.

as for the lucida being ''commonplace,'' yes it''s tiffany, but i really haven''t seen that many in real life. i see many rbs and princess cuts, but that''s about it.

 

[sumbride]

There are a LOT of great points here and I hope you read and consider them! The fact that you are asking makes me think you do realize that her opinion is the most important here because this is what SHE will wear.

I have a co-worker who HATES her engagement ring. She hates it. And she openly told me that. Her husband "felt" that an engagement ring should be yellow gold with lots of diamonds. She wanted a white gold solitaire. Seriously. She HATES it. She wears it though, and she grimaces when she looks at it. I don''t know what this says about their relationship, but I know I wouldn''t be able to tolerate the situation. I have another co-worker who will be engaged soon. Her boyfriend also feels that engagement rings should be yellow gold even though she is also requesting white gold. I keep saying "make sure he knows your preference" and she says "I told him. But he''s not listening." This is not fair, and it takes a little of the joy out of the engagement, I think.

So if she isn''t into minimalist designs, don''t force it on her! You can get a minimalist wedding ring for yourself. If she doesn''t absolutely adore Tiffany, it''s not worth the premium. I too would have been annoyed if my DH had spent the bulk of the budget on the brand name instead of the diamond! Take the time to learn that there are other places that have good quality, good consistency and good design and you can get more for your money.

 

[Ellen]

Date: 1/22/2008 11:45:31 PM
Author:lucidainthesky

I really really fell in love with the tiffany lucida, esp. since it''s not too intricate, and it''s relatively minimal, as i am a minimalist. i would really love to give her exactly that, even if it means i have to compromise on size due to the premium. i think she likes a more antique setting with more design, and i have a feeling she thinks that the lucida and other similar designs are too commonplace.. we have very different tastes and styles, so i''m in a bit of a juxtaposition!! i know i''m not going to be wearing it, but for some strange reason i feel like the lucida would be nicer!

Nuff said.

 

[HollyS]

Date: 1/23/2008 10:19:22 AM
Author: Ellen

Date: 1/22/2008 11:45:31 PM
Author:lucidainthesky

I really really fell in love with the tiffany lucida, esp. since it''s not too intricate, and it''s relatively minimal, as i am a minimalist. i would really love to give her exactly that, even if it means i have to compromise on size due to the premium. i think she likes a more antique setting with more design, and i have a feeling she thinks that the lucida and other similar designs are too commonplace.. we have very different tastes and styles, so i''m in a bit of a juxtaposition!! i know i''m not going to be wearing it, but for some strange reason i feel like the lucida would be nicer!

Nuff said.

Ditto to Ellen. You''ve basically answered your own question.

If she is gaga over the ring chosen to fit her personal taste, you will come to love it because it gives her so much pleasure. My DH is constantly telling people that my ering was the best purchase he ever made because sees me admiring it, ogling it, cleaning it obsessively, and it makes him happy to know I''m happy! And that, my friend, is your answer.

 

[vespergirl]

Hmm .. you should get her what she wants. Have you checked out the Tiffany Novo? That''s more of a simple antique design than the Legacy - it may be a good compromise between her taste and yours. I also like their round brilliant in a bead-set band.

 

[vespergirl]

Or, check out the tiffany web site, the page that has round brilliants with side stones - they have an art deco setting that is a round brilliant with square step cut side stones - a very modern, sleek looking "antique" design. If you like the Lucida, check that out - you will still have the look of square stones in an antique-type setting.

Here is the link:

http://www.tiffany.com/Engagement/Item.aspx?sku=21636584

 

[Diamond*Dana]

Honestly, I think that the one wearing the ring should be the one that loves it. Not to say that you should hate the style that she wants to wear (you are the one making the purchase afterall), but this is going to be THE ring...the one that she wears for the rest of her life (well, unless you believe in upgrades, lol). So to answer your question "Does it matter what I think"...um, no.

 

[joflier]

Definately talk to her about it. She may surprise you and really like the lucida. You never know! But on the flipside, I know that we've seen alot of posts on here from disappointed girls that are stuck between a "rock" (i see a good pun there) and a hard place, not receiving the perfect ering, but not knowing what to do or how to tell their fiance. IMHO its really important to a girl to have the ring of her dreams. Everyone has their own personal style, and ring is part of that style.

 

[kcoursolle]

The tiffany lucide is *nothing* like an asscher or an antique setting. It's a modern setting with a very brilliant cut instead of a step cut. I realize it's hard to find a nice asscher, but this is what she wants and what she will be thrilled with! It's worth the effort and you should be able to save some money too since tiffanys is very expensive!!! I would suck it up and get her what she likes, because she has to wear the ring everyday and in the end it really matters that she likes it rather than you.

Do a search for selma and read a story that is an important learning lesson for all men out there buying their SO's a ring.

 

[NeverEndingUpgrade]

Ditto what Kaleigh said. If you go with an Asscher from GoodOldGold.com, you will get a lot more for your money. And the diamonds are in stock.