Do you really care if you look "taken"?

[Roxy]

I do care when I am out with my toddlers or when I was pregnant, because I don't want people to think I had kids out of wedlock. I know it's kind of silly, but there you have it. I do think people in my town tend to be judgmental of unwed moms. Other than that, I really don't care. I go out without rings plenty of times. I do think sales people tend to treat you with more respect or take you more seriously if they see you are married, so I will wear a band if I am going to make a big purchase. Maybe I just live in a snobby area, lol.

I can relate a little to this. I forgot my rings at home one day when I was visibly pregnant, and although all of my co-workers and most of my customers knew I was married, I felt a slight tinge of worry over what strangers might assume about me. Totally ridiculous, but hormones plus years of having certain attitudes of "what's right" drilled into me left me a little lacking in the logic area. And we live in a super liberal town! It was a very strange, almost out-of-character feeling for me. But then, a lot of feelings were that way when I was pregnant.

I relate to this, too. I live right in the buckle of the Bible Belt and have no need for judgement or comments if I can avoid them by wearing rings that I love.

I got divorced when my oldest was small and I was very young, and I got some really nasty comments about unwed mothers when I stopped wearing my rings. Over time my skin got thicker, but I can remember some teary moments in the beginning when people would say mean things.

Wow, I cannot believe (well, unfortunately I can) how insensitive and ignorant and yes, stupid, people can be. I am sorry you guys had to experience this ever and I'll share a tip with you to help you avoid feeling this way in the future whatever the situation. I don't let how others behave affect me negatively in any way when their behavior is ignorant and/or rude. No matter the situation you cannot control what others think or do but you sure can control how you feel about it and I will be darned if I am going to let the way others act change what I do or how I feel.

This! I am so surprised that people are so openly cruel, good grief!!!! Usually people who judge someone so openly about something fail to see that they have areas in their life that others could judge just quickly. I'm one of those people who becomes openly (and passionately) agitated when anyone around me says or does something like that to someone else. It stops the conversation and gets a little tense, but that's just a huge pet peeve of mine and I can't stand to be a part of it (even on the "listening" end).

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I am wayyyy past the point of needing to look taken since no one cares! However, I have always enjoyed wearing my rings! I don't wear them when staying home all day unless I just want to put them on to look at them or something. I recently thought about what would happen if the day came that I outlived my husband, and I honestly think I'd go right on wearing my rings because I like wearing them and would have no interest in another relationship.

 

[Imdanny]

No.

To me, what a bizarre question.

My ring happens to be very, very nice, and it is a symbol of my relationship.

But it is still just a symbol, a material object.

There was no such thing as same sex weddings 18 years ago when SO and I "married. " We defined it as "monogamous, commitment for life." I think I thought even more about the meaning at the start than if there had been the option of legal marriage and the symbols that go with it.

I've always been lucky in love. To me, that's not something I want to necessarily let people know. It's great if I happen to be wearing my ring and people notice it. If not, it doesn't matter at all. I know who I am. Do I care what other people think about a decision I have the right to make and have made? Not so much.

 

[pregcurious]

I wouldn't say I "care". I think this is really a issue between spouses.

I didn't wear my rings when I was pregnant and my hands were swollen. Otherwise, I like wearing a wedding ring. so I do.

 

[CharmyPoo]

People don't care anyways if you are taken or not. Doesn't stop behavior if they are determined enough.

 

[Ximena]

+1 Wearing a ring doesn't stop men [or women] from flirting.
Behaving like a 'taken'/married person does.