Do you object to this Time magazine cover?

[monarch64]

I've been reading Sears' book off and on for the past few months, as well as others. I found myself thinking he was kind of a self-absorbed pompous ass during the chapter on returning to work and the way he talks about Martha. Some of it is interesting, most of it I take with a grain of salt because it wasn't written by a woman with first hand parenting experience. Same with my doctor, who is male...he is there for my need for a health professional and prescriber of things, not the last word on pregnancy, birthing, and parenting. He knows his stuff from his medical education and his 34 years of experience, but he has not himself experienced pregnancy or birth so when it comes down to it I listen to my own instincts.

 

[ericad]

Why do some keep calling this child a toddler? He's a very large 3 year old (likely close to 4, judging from his size, but I have no evidence to support this, so let's just assume he's 3 years and 1 day old).

Some definitions of toddler that I found:

"A young child, usually one between the ages of one and two and a half"

"One who toddles, especially a young child learning to walk"

"a child between 12 and 36 months of age" (this is the broadest one I could find, and this child still most likely fails to qualify, unless the photo was taken on his 3rd bday)

I have sooooooo many opinions about this article that I'll just go back to sitting on my hands

 

[Skippy123]

Why do some keep calling this child a toddler? He's a very large 3 year old (likely close to 4, judging from his size, but I have no evidence to support this, so let's just assume he's 3 years and 1 day old).

Some definitions of toddler that I found:

"A young child, usually one between the ages of one and two and a half"

"One who toddles, especially a young child learning to walk"

"a child between 12 and 36 months of age" (this is the broadest one I could find, and this child still most likely fails to qualify, unless the photo was taken on his 3rd bday)

I have sooooooo many opinions about this article that I'll just go back to sitting on my hands

don't sit on your hands! say them! lol

 

[Skippy123]

okay so my feelings it what ever floats ones boat; do what is right for You! But I did read this from a friend today and thought this is really what is important to me as a mom. I don't care what other people do but I do care what I do to raise thoughtful boys. http://www.boston.com/community/moms/blogs/24_hour_workday/2012/05/motherhood-mom-enough-advice.html

 

[ericad]

Ok, twist my arm!

Here are my thoughts:

- The article accomplished its goal. Shock people and polarize women against each other in a "who's the best mommy" contest. What did that achieve? Nothing important or relevant to society. They just sold more magazines.

- Attachment parenting is not for me. I don't get it. But I understand that there are many who parent differently than I do. Whatever floats your boat. Just don't try to impose your parenting style onto me and we'll get along swimmingly.

- I have concerns about the psychological well being of this child and what he'll endure as a result of this cover. I firmly believe that it will follow him forever. (This is me criticizing the mom's decision to allow this photo to be taken, let alone published, and not me criticizing her for attachment parenting.)

- This could be more to do with my own personal hang ups, who knows, but seeing a "big" kid on a boob makes me feel icky and uncomfortable. Even though I may intellectually understand that there's nothing inherently icky about it, it still makes me want to poke my eyes out with a spork.

- Since I'm not familiar with attachment parenting, what age is considered too old to nurse? When do you draw the line? 3? 5? 7? At what age does it become inappropriate? Is that decision left completely up to the child?

- When I was pregnant I received dozens of books. I looked at them and realized quickly that they all contradicted each other. From co-sleeping in one book to CIO in another. So I chucked the books and opted for common sense and maternal instinct. When I stumble or don't know what to do, I think about what my mom would have done (or I just ask her) and then decide if I want to do that or the complete opposite, lol.

- According to the Time article, apparently I'm not "mom enough" either. Huh. Well, I'm the only mom she's got so she'll have to suck it up.

 

[Skippy123]

Ok, twist my arm!

Here are my thoughts:

- The article accomplished its goal. Shock people and polarize women against each other in a "who's the best mommy" contest. What did that achieve? Nothing important or relevant to society. They just sold more magazines.

- When I was pregnant I received dozens of books. I looked at them and realized quickly that they all contradicted each other. From co-sleeping in one book to CIO in another. So I chucked the books and opted for common sense and maternal instinct. When I stumble or don't know what to do, I think about what my mom would have done (or I just ask her) and then decide if I want to do that or the complete opposite, lol.

yeah I think this is very true!! thanks for your thoughts!

 

[HollyS]

all i know is no one did this kid a favor: can you imagine him running for political office and someone posting this picture?!

It's so scandalous seeing a toddler nurse. Way more scandalous than what other politicians have been photographed doing in the past.

This thread is getting odd to me. No one bats an eye at seeing Kim Kardashian's boobs nearly completely hanging out of a low-cut dress, but people are horrified seeing a toddler breastfeed.

I do object to Kim Kardashian. Whether she's fully clothed or showing her bazooms.

 

[ksinger]

Ok, twist my arm!

Here are my thoughts:

- The article accomplished its goal. Shock people and polarize women against each other in a "who's the best mommy" contest. What did that achieve? Nothing important or relevant to society. They just sold more magazines.

- Attachment parenting is not for me. I don't get it. But I understand that there are many who parent differently than I do. Whatever floats your boat. Just don't try to impose your parenting style onto me and we'll get along swimmingly.

- I have concerns about the psychological well being of this child and what he'll endure as a result of this cover. I firmly believe that it will follow him forever. (This is me criticizing the mom's decision to allow this photo to be taken, let alone published, and not me criticizing her for attachment parenting.)

- This could be more to do with my own personal hang ups, who knows, but seeing a "big" kid on a boob makes me feel icky and uncomfortable. Even though I may intellectually understand that there's nothing inherently icky about it, it still makes me want to poke my eyes out with a spork.

- Since I'm not familiar with attachment parenting, what age is considered too old to nurse? When do you draw the line? 3? 5? 7? At what age does it become inappropriate? Is that decision left completely up to the child?

- When I was pregnant I received dozens of books. I looked at them and realized quickly that they all contradicted each other. From co-sleeping in one book to CIO in another. So I chucked the books and opted for common sense and maternal instinct. When I stumble or don't know what to do, I think about what my mom would have done (or I just ask her) and then decide if I want to do that or the complete opposite, lol.

- According to the Time article, apparently I'm not "mom enough" either. Huh. Well, I'm the only mom she's got so she'll have to suck it up.

LOL! Are you channeling MY mom??

And for those of you who find later and later breastfeeding a bit icky....well, just make something or nothing of this, as you will.

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/05/dear_prudie_my_mom_let_me_play_with_her_breasts_for_years_now_she_s_doing_it_to_my_sister_.html

ETA - It just jelled for me. What I find uncomfortable about it is not the kid, but the mother. I'm like, why do YOU (mom), in this culture just dripping in independence - of wives, husbands, friends, have such permeable boundaries so late? It seems suspicious, like when someone is too nice. Doesn't compute in this culture. But as others have pointed out, very few do it....

 

[Maria D]

ETA - It just jelled for me. What I find uncomfortable about it is not the kid, but the mother. I'm like, why do YOU (mom), in this culture just dripping in independence - of wives, husbands, friends, have such permeable boundaries so late? It seems suspicious, like when someone is too nice. Doesn't compute in this culture. But as others have pointed out, very few do it....

kisnger, the article you linked to *clearly* depicted a case of sexual molestation. A mother allowing/encouraging a child to fondle her breasts does not equal breastfeeding. In fact, the article explicitly states the behavior took place after weaning. I honestly don't understand your point here.

 

[Maria D]

ETA - It just jelled for me. What I find uncomfortable about it is not the kid, but the mother. I'm like, why do YOU (mom), in this culture just dripping in independence - of wives, husbands, friends, have such permeable boundaries so late? It seems suspicious, like when someone is too nice. Doesn't compute in this culture. But as others have pointed out, very few do it....

kisnger, the article you linked to *clearly* depicted a case of sexual molestation. A mother allowing/encouraging a child to fondle her breasts does not equal breastfeeding. In fact, the article explicitly states the behavior took place after weaning. I honestly don't understand your point here.

eta: It was abusive behavior all along, not just after weaning.

 

[ksinger]

ETA - It just jelled for me. What I find uncomfortable about it is not the kid, but the mother. I'm like, why do YOU (mom), in this culture just dripping in independence - of wives, husbands, friends, have such permeable boundaries so late? It seems suspicious, like when someone is too nice. Doesn't compute in this culture. But as others have pointed out, very few do it....

kisnger, the article you linked to *clearly* depicted a case of sexual molestation. A mother allowing/encouraging a child to fondle her breasts does not equal breastfeeding. In fact, the article explicitly states the behavior took place after weaning. I honestly don't understand your point here.

eta: It was abusive behavior all along, not just after weaning.

If it was so utterly "clear" then I think it would have been noticed, unless all three of those kids were never in the presence of mom and other people at the same time. But as for the overall case, not making any accusations that late breastfeeding means a mom is abusing, but the later it goes I think the more concerned people become, is all. Where DO we draw the line? Even the the AAP's Dr. Richard Schanler, who chairs the AAP's section on breastfeeding, states, "Most breastfeeding in the second and third year is social and not necessarily nutritional." And the power in the relationship - to either stop or continue, is ultimately mom's. If mom isn't stopping it, Is it any wonder people look askance at mom the older a child gets?

 

[monarch64]

So what is the point of continuing to talk about this now? Should there be a law against extended breast feeding now? I mean, what's the solution? Or is this just a "let's bitch about how horrible this mother is" thread? Just curious as to whether anyone has some sort of feasible solution to this particular atrocity.

 

[ericad]

So what is the point of continuing to talk about this now? Should there be a law against extended breast feeding now? I mean, what's the solution? Or is this just a "let's bitch about how horrible this mother is" thread? Just curious as to whether anyone has some sort of feasible solution to this particular atrocity.

For the purpose of having social dialogue. Because it's interesting and stimulating to discuss topics with a group as broad as PS. Because in my personal circle, I'd never have the opportunity to speak to anyone about attachment parenting, let alone dissect my own personal feelings about it, since no one in my circle practices it. And because chatting and debating is fun.

I don't think we need to string her up by her thumbs or else stop talking about it. There's a middle ground. Why can't we just discuss and debate? It makes us smarter and more interesting people, IMO.

 

[Gypsy]

Ok, twist my arm!

Here are my thoughts:

- The article accomplished its goal. Shock people and polarize women against each other in a "who's the best mommy" contest. What did that achieve? Nothing important or relevant to society. They just sold more magazines.

- Attachment parenting is not for me. I don't get it. But I understand that there are many who parent differently than I do. Whatever floats your boat. Just don't try to impose your parenting style onto me and we'll get along swimmingly.

- I have concerns about the psychological well being of this child and what he'll endure as a result of this cover. I firmly believe that it will follow him forever. (This is me criticizing the mom's decision to allow this photo to be taken, let alone published, and not me criticizing her for attachment parenting.)

- This could be more to do with my own personal hang ups, who knows, but seeing a "big" kid on a boob makes me feel icky and uncomfortable. Even though I may intellectually understand that there's nothing inherently icky about it, it still makes me want to poke my eyes out with a spork.

- Since I'm not familiar with attachment parenting, what age is considered too old to nurse? When do you draw the line? 3? 5? 7? At what age does it become inappropriate? Is that decision left completely up to the child?

- When I was pregnant I received dozens of books. I looked at them and realized quickly that they all contradicted each other. From co-sleeping in one book to CIO in another. So I chucked the books and opted for common sense and maternal instinct. When I stumble or don't know what to do, I think about what my mom would have done (or I just ask her) and then decide if I want to do that or the complete opposite, lol.

- According to the Time article, apparently I'm not "mom enough" either. Huh. Well, I'm the only mom she's got so she'll have to suck it up.

I'm not a mom. But I totally agree with this whole post and especially with the bolded parts.

 

[Skippy123]

Here is the Mom of the Cover, the child and Dr. Sears doing an interview.
http://video.today.msnbc.msn.com/today/47385461#47385461

I do like the idea of wearing babies if you can in the early month; my son loved it. The other one was still in the hospital and we didn't do that with him. The one I didn't wear plays more independently and the other one wants to be held more but it might just their personalities? Also I was reading there are NO studies on the benefits of attachment parenting. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_parenting here is another link from the AP group http://www.attachmentparenting.org/principles/principles.php

I didn't realize what all went into attachment parenting. I know they talk about risk of SIDS from letting your baby sleep with you. How can you never let them cry? I mean some babies just cry and you can't do anything about it, even if you hold them and rock them. How old are they when you can let them cry?

I do make my own baby food. I do think it is interesting that Dr. Sears has a line of baby food in the stores.

I do have Dr. Sear's book on medical stuff and alternative medicine which I like because I think people are always ready to use medicine when maybe one doesn't really need it (like tylenol for colds when just giving lots of fluids and rest works).

I actually thought the discussion is interesting and would like to read stories on people who did AP.

 

[ksinger]

So what is the point of continuing to talk about this now? Should there be a law against extended breast feeding now? I mean, what's the solution? Or is this just a "let's bitch about how horrible this mother is" thread? Just curious as to whether anyone has some sort of feasible solution to this particular atrocity.

For the purpose of having social dialogue. Because it's interesting and stimulating to discuss topics with a group as broad as PS. Because in my personal circle, I'd never have the opportunity to speak to anyone about attachment parenting, let alone dissect my own personal feelings about it, since no one in my circle practices it. And because chatting and debating is fun.

I don't think we need to string her up by her thumbs or else stop talking about it. There's a middle ground. Why can't we just discuss and debate? It makes us smarter and more interesting people, IMO.

I appreciate the sentiment Erica. Thanks. I hope that I've added something of substance. I was interested enough, beyond the cover many can't seem to get past, to actually buy the magazine and read the article, and post excerpts here, which I don't consider to be "bitching".

I have many faults, but lack of attention span has never been one of them. I tend to devour topics in intense bursts, and for longer than 15 minutes. This topic has tied in with many things in the social and political arenas right now, and with some of the newer feminist works I'm reading. And my SIL - who is a wonderful mother of an equally wonderful near-5-year-old, and has another on the way, considers herself an attachment parent, so we've had a few discussions about it too.

But I value my thumbs, so rather than give people reason to find the thumbscrews (that are next to the pitchforks in the shed), I'll bow out of this topic now and post no more on it. Apparently the discussion has tweaked some tender nerves.

 

[Pandora II]

Sorry, but this is all getting ridiculous.

Equating extended breast-feeding with sexual abuse is extremely offensive. I'm sure plenty of people here would find it offensive if I told them that sleep-training their young baby was tantamount to neglect and will cause severe emotional harm... (not saying that btw)

Why does it seem that people are so keen to attack AP parents? I don't force you to co-sleep, wear or breast-feed your child, so why the venom in some of these posts?

 

[mayachel]

Sorry, but this is all getting ridiculous.

Equating extended breast-feeding with sexual abuse is extremely offensive. I'm sure plenty of people here would find it offensive if I told them that sleep-training their young baby was tantamount to neglect and will cause severe emotional harm... (not saying that btw)

Why does it seem that people are so keen to attack AP parents? I don't force you to co-sleep, wear or breast-feed your child, so why the venom in some of these posts?

+1, well put Pandora.

Having actually read the article and seen the other photos that accompanied it, there are "softer" more akin to how they likely nurse photos. Somehow this woman was made the poster mother for attachment parenting, and in turn opened herself up to being vilified in a way that honestly, if you have a problem with, should be directed to Time magazine, the photographer, art director, editor for asking them to pose that way, choosing and using that cover image.

 

[kennedy]

So what is the point of continuing to talk about this now? Should there be a law against extended breast feeding now? I mean, what's the solution? Or is this just a "let's bitch about how horrible this mother is" thread? Just curious as to whether anyone has some sort of feasible solution to this particular atrocity.

For the purpose of having social dialogue. Because it's interesting and stimulating to discuss topics with a group as broad as PS. Because in my personal circle, I'd never have the opportunity to speak to anyone about attachment parenting, let alone dissect my own personal feelings about it, since no one in my circle practices it. And because chatting and debating is fun.

I don't think we need to string her up by her thumbs or else stop talking about it. There's a middle ground. Why can't we just discuss and debate? It makes us smarter and more interesting people, IMO.

I appreciate the sentiment Erica. Thanks. I hope that I've added something of substance. I was interested enough, beyond the cover many can't seem to get past, to actually buy the magazine and read the article, and post excerpts here, which I don't consider to be "bitching".

I have many faults, but lack of attention span has never been one of them. I tend to devour topics in intense bursts, and for longer than 15 minutes. This topic has tied in with many things in the social and political arenas right now, and with some of the newer feminist works I'm reading. And my SIL - who is a wonderful mother of an equally wonderful near-5-year-old, and has another on the way, considers herself an attachment parent, so we've had a few discussions about it too.

But I value my thumbs, so rather than give people reason to find the thumbscrews (that are next to the pitchforks in the shed), I'll bow out of this topic now and post no more on it. Apparently the discussion has tweaked some tender nerves.

I don't think one needs to have particularly tender nerves to be deeply offended by the insinuation that extended breastfeeding is a slippery slope to child molestation! That Slate article has nothing to do with extended breastfeeding and everything to do with a very clear case of abuse. And, yes, MANY clear cases of abuse go unnoticed for years and years since the abuse is often perpetrated behind closed doors. It's part of the cycle of secrecy and shame. For good or bad, breasts are a potent sexual symbol in our society and the fact that this Slate article has been brought into the discussion here is more evidence to my mind that that is the real reason people are so up in arms about extended breastfeeding. If women lactated out of their fingers, would people care as much if a 2 or 3 year old was still nursing?

 

[Pandora II]

I think there would be different responses in other parts of the world. The people I have asked about it here have an issue with the pose used on the cover but not with the concept. The child in the picture is almost 4 btw.

In many muslim countries where women are very modestly dressed, breast-feeding in public is not an issue - in Jordan for example you may see veiled women sitting on park benches dressed in black from head to toe but with an exposed breast feeding their baby. Islamic law requires breast-feeding for two years (as a right of the child).

In Nepal, women came over and offered to breast-feed my brother when he was howling on a bus in Katmandu aged about 2. My mother was a little taken aback, but not because of his age.

I get congratulated all the time by African women for still breastfeeding - even though many of them are 2nd generation immigrants they still breastfeed till the child is 3 or 4 even if it is just occasionally for comfort.

In much of Europe nudity is much more acceptable. I always went topless on the beach in France and Italy as did the vast majority of women and girls - yet I am not some-one who wears revealing clothes at all. Men barely did a double take it was so normal. The UK is a little more prudish but that's probably because it's too cold to take any clothes off.

Breasts are far too over-sexualised in America it seems...

 

[Laila619]

Sorry, but this is all getting ridiculous.

Equating extended breast-feeding with sexual abuse is extremely offensive. I'm sure plenty of people here would find it offensive if I told them that sleep-training their young baby was tantamount to neglect and will cause severe emotional harm... (not saying that btw)

Why does it seem that people are so keen to attack AP parents? I don't force you to co-sleep, wear or breast-feed your child, so why the venom in some of these posts?

Thank you for breathing some common sense into this thread, Pandora.

Seriously, of all the things and people out there in the world to criticize or judge, this should hardly ping the meter. She is a loving mother taking care of her child. Some kids aren't fortunate enough to have that.

 

[sstephensid]

Sorry, but this is all getting ridiculous.

Equating extended breast-feeding with sexual abuse is extremely offensive. I'm sure plenty of people here would find it offensive if I told them that sleep-training their young baby was tantamount to neglect and will cause severe emotional harm... (not saying that btw)

Why does it seem that people are so keen to attack AP parents? I don't force you to co-sleep, wear or breast-feed your child, so why the venom in some of these posts?

Thank you for breathing some common sense into this thread, Pandora.

Seriously, of all the things and people out there in the world to criticize or judge, this should hardly ping the meter. She is a loving mother taking care of her child. Some kids aren't fortunate enough to have that.

She may be a loving mother.

However, I can't think of ONE reason that a picture like this would ever benefit her child. This is not a picture of a loving, caring, or tender moment between child and mother. She did not do this to express her love as a mother. I don't care if an adult does things for shock and awe. However, she used her child as the prop to create such a "shocking" spread.

 

[monarch64]

Sorry, but this is all getting ridiculous.

Equating extended breast-feeding with sexual abuse is extremely offensive. I'm sure plenty of people here would find it offensive if I told them that sleep-training their young baby was tantamount to neglect and will cause severe emotional harm... (not saying that btw)

Why does it seem that people are so keen to attack AP parents? I don't force you to co-sleep, wear or breast-feed your child, so why the venom in some of these posts?

Thank you for breathing some common sense into this thread, Pandora.

Seriously, of all the things and people out there in the world to criticize or judge, this should hardly ping the meter. She is a loving mother taking care of her child. Some kids aren't fortunate enough to have that.

She may be a loving mother.

However, I can't think of ONE reason that a picture like this would ever benefit her child. This is not a picture of a loving, caring, or tender moment between child and mother. She did not do this to express her love as a mother. I don't care if an adult does things for shock and awe. However, she used her child as the prop to create such a "shocking" spread.

Well, then let's tar and feather her. Along with her, all of the moms from Toddlers and Tiaras, pageant moms, stage moms, etc. Clearly she is the worst parent EVER.

 

[Laila619]

Sorry, but this is all getting ridiculous.

Equating extended breast-feeding with sexual abuse is extremely offensive. I'm sure plenty of people here would find it offensive if I told them that sleep-training their young baby was tantamount to neglect and will cause severe emotional harm... (not saying that btw)

Why does it seem that people are so keen to attack AP parents? I don't force you to co-sleep, wear or breast-feed your child, so why the venom in some of these posts?

Thank you for breathing some common sense into this thread, Pandora.

Seriously, of all the things and people out there in the world to criticize or judge, this should hardly ping the meter. She is a loving mother taking care of her child. Some kids aren't fortunate enough to have that.

She may be a loving mother.

However, I can't think of ONE reason that a picture like this would ever benefit her child. This is not a picture of a loving, caring, or tender moment between child and mother. She did not do this to express her love as a mother. I don't care if an adult does things for shock and awe. However, she used her child as the prop to create such a "shocking" spread.

Well, then let's tar and feather her. Along with her, all of the moms from Toddlers and Tiaras, pageant moms, stage moms, etc. Clearly she is the worst parent EVER.

Yeah, like mothers don't already get judged enough for every little thing they do or don't do. If you use formula and never nursed? You're a bad mother. But if you nurse too long? You're also a bad mother, and your actions are possibly bordering on sexual abuse. Please. The poor toddler on the cover should just drop out of society and go into hiding now, because he'll be teased for the rest of his life and he'll never be able to run for political office. Somehow I have a feeling that if the toddler on the cover were a little girl breastfeeding, no one would even care. It all goes back to the over sexualization of breasts in the U.S.

 

[kenny]

So what is the point of continuing to talk about this now? Should there be a law against extended breast feeding now? I mean, what's the solution? Or is this just a "let's bitch about how horrible this mother is" thread? Just curious as to whether anyone has some sort of feasible solution to this particular atrocity.

For the purpose of having social dialogue. Because it's interesting and stimulating to discuss topics with a group as broad as PS. Because in my personal circle, I'd never have the opportunity to speak to anyone about attachment parenting, let alone dissect my own personal feelings about it, since no one in my circle practices it. And because chatting and debating is fun.

I don't think we need to string her up by her thumbs or else stop talking about it. There's a middle ground. Why can't we just discuss and debate? It makes us smarter and more interesting people, IMO.

This.
Discussion is good.

 

[kenny]

So what is the point of continuing to talk about this now? Should there be a law against extended breast feeding now? I mean, what's the solution? Or is this just a "let's bitch about how horrible this mother is" thread? Just curious as to whether anyone has some sort of feasible solution to this particular atrocity.

There IS no solution.
Time magazine is in business to make money, and as we get more and more jaded and numb from media overload Time will do ever-more shocking things to catch our eye. (Remember that Bat Boy cover?)
The woman and child probably got paid to model.
Research will never stop pursuing "better parenting".
When to stop BFing is each woman's personal judgement and choice.

Frankly, I don't think there is any problem to solve, besides the challenge of getting people to just respect diversity.
The mindset that there is only ONE correct way is problematic.

 

[Pandora II]

Yeah, like mothers don't already get judged enough for every little thing they do or don't do. If you use formula and never nursed? You're a bad mother. But if you nurse too long? You're also a bad mother, and your actions are possibly bordering on sexual abuse. Please. The poor toddler on the cover should just drop out of society and go into hiding now, because he'll be teased for the rest of his life and he'll never be able to run for political office. Somehow I have a feeling that if the toddler on the cover were a little girl breastfeeding, no one would even care. It all goes back to the over sexualization of breasts in the U.S.

Well, until 2010, I was a politician and I took my daughter along to Council Assemblies, and if necessary I fed her openly on the benches in front of the Press and whoever happened to be in the Public Gallery. I had no-one to babysit such a young baby so she had to come and it was regard as totally reasonable by everyone else there. No-one thought I was making it into an issue - although a number of members of the Opposition came over to congratulate me on setting a precedent.

I have a couple of friends who are female MPs with young babies - they take their babies to the House of Commons and breastfeed them there, as do some female Peers. Some have even fed in the Chamber during debates, so I don't honestly see why it should be any impediment to a political career.

I'd say doubly so in the US where you have some complete cranks running for political office - and shame on anyone who would use being breastfed against someone like that.

Perhaps parents should spend more time teaching their children to be nice to others and more tolerant rather than allowing them to tease and bully others.

 

[iLander]

KSinger's article reminded me of a freaky family that lived around the corner from me when I was in seventh grade: the grandmother of the family was a 300+ lb woman, somewhere around 50 years old, who had a new, second husband and a son who was 7. They all lived with their daughter-in-law, a 30 year old woman in the process of divorcing her husband (grandma's son), and had two daughters of her own, one my age. So my playmate had an uncle younger than she was. Or something like that. But anyway . . .

One day, the whole family was in the front yard discussing something, and the seven year old boy went up to his mother, grabbed her large (clothed) breast and went "honk, honk". She just smiled, a little embarrassed, and kept talking. He did it a couple of more times, then walked off.

Being in seventh grade, I looked at my friend like this My friend took me aside to say that her grandmother was still breastfeeding the son. I was really pretty freaked out.

A couple of months later, my friend's older sister told her mom that the dad (who the mom was still "divorcing", but now occasionally "dated") had started molested her when she was 12. He did it many times. The mom refused to believe her own daughter. My friend and I were shocked and I stopped hanging out at her house. Older sister eventually ran away from home.

To tie the story up in a bow, the endless-breastfeeding grandma was the soon-to-be-ex-husband's mom. I don't know how long molesting dad was breastfed, but I think he grew up with boundary issues.

I'M NOT SAYING that people that are breastfed a long time, end up being child molesters, I am just telling an odd story that bubbled up in my brain.

Boundaries. Sometimes they are a good thing.

 

[makemepretty]

I honestly don't think the excuse that "women in other countries do this all the time" is valid. Lots of things happen in other countries that we don't do. That's the equivalent of a kids explanation of "all my friends are doing it so it's ok for me to do it too". Different norms apply to different areas, we're not in other countries...we're here and we have an adequate supply of medicine, vitamins, food supply and social norms. This cover wouldn't be so controversial if it fell within that social norm.

 

[ericad]

Can any of the ladies who support extended breast feeding suggest a general cut off age, or is it up to the child? I guess that's the part that's vague for me. I'm not judging - just curious and trying to learn about a subject that's foreign to me. Surely attachment parents and those that support extended BFing would say that, at some point, a child is too old? What is that age range? Or is it "anything goes" and it's just up to the family?

Again, I find this a fascinating topic and I'm very interested to learn more. My DH is from France and I'm planning to ask him about it too. I wonder if French women BF longer, and what his reaction is to this issue, and what's considered normal in his culture versus American cultural norms.

Really, for me it boils down to cultural and individual views surrounding boobs. I was never around nursing moms. Never ever. So to me, I view breasts as sexual before I see them as nurturing or to do with child rearing (being a teen during the '90's, I blame Pam Anderson). I wish that wasn't the case, but it's how I'm wired. Hence my icky feelings when I see an older child nursing.