Do you know anyone who is extremely zen about this crisis?

[mellowyellowgirl]

I'm in complete awe of my husband and my bestie. They have nearly identical temperaments and have been utterly zen throughout this crisis.

Hubs is doing work around the house, working from home and bought himself some novels to read in his spare time. He gardens, hugs the pup, educates our son.

He's sunny, exceedingly helpful and pleasant.

Bestie is taking care of her twins, going on walks and has a very similar attitude to hubby.

It's really made me wonder how people like this are wired.

I struggle on some days. I've asked them about it and it's not like they're happy about the situation but they don't seem to fret or freak out. It baffles me but at the same time I am intrigued.

Anyone know other people like this????

Hehe in case you're wondering I married the male version of my beloved bestie. My drama amuses them and they both confess to enjoying drama despite not being able to muster it up themselves.

 

[1ofakind]

I'm usually pretty low drama and DH is super zen. He's still at work but taking some short days, reading, hanging out with me in the sewing room as I'm making masks, going for long walks. His temperament is perfect for his job....it's not a coincidence. He's going to start working on the list of spring projects we have. He just doesn't get worked up about things he can't do anything about. His reaction is not a surprise to me.

 

[Phoenix]

I know someone who's not zen but nonchalant about it in an annoying way.

 

[mellowyellowgirl]

I know someone who's not zen but nonchalant about it in an annoying way.

See that to me implies they aren't handling it well but that's their coping mechanism.

The two I'm talking about will express their concerns and talk about the things they miss. But they're so....calm and don't seem to have bad days.

 

[Phoenix]

See that to me implies they aren't handling it well but that's their coping mechanism.

The two I'm talking about will express their concerns and talk about the things they miss. But they're so....calm and don't seem to have bad days.

I don't think he cares. His response is "it is what it is" or "if I get it, I get it" followed by a shoulder shrug. He expresses no concerns about the plight of those who have caught it or are at risk of catching it. I dunno how anyone can be so callous and annoying.

 

[1ofakind]

I don't think he cares. His response is "it is what it is" or "if I get it, I get it" followed by a shoulder shrug. He expresses no concerns about the plight of those who have caught it or are at risk of catching it. I dunno how anyone can be so callous and annoying.

Wait did you meet my dad somewhere?? He talks like that too. He’s very high risk...age, heart condition, diminished lung function...none of his organs are good. Yet he doesn’t care to do anything different than he ever has and suggested I am wasting my time making face masks for nursing home employees. There’s a reason we don’t talk much yet I thought I should call and check on him.

 

[MarionC]

I am pretty zen about it. There is nothing much I can do, and getting upset or worked up about it only adds to the problem. I am being really careful and also upbeat. I figure that’s what I can do.
Eckhart Tolle talks lot about the “pain body” as he calls it. The thing where we love to go into the dark side and wallow for some reason...human nature I guess.
But to recognize the propensity and not go there is I think mentally very healthy.

 

[missy]

My DH is very calm. He just does what he has to do and does it without complaining. And in the midst of all this his kidney stones (12 mm and 8mm) are acting up and he just sucks it up. Never a complaint and never a whine. Yeah I am in awe of him. And he makes me a stronger person I think. Though I do vent and get out my emotions. Or as he puts it I like to emote. It makes me feel calmer when I can cry and vent. It is cathartic for me. But we all handle things differently and that is OK. Whatever works for you is what works. There is no one right way to be. IMO.

 

[missy]

I know someone who's not zen but nonchalant about it in an annoying way.

IDK if this is the same but yesterday we took a short walk and I did need to get bananas at a grocery store. It was empty so we went in...a family was outside and the little girl said to her mother, "mom I cannot go in because I am not wearing a face mask" and before I knew it they were in the store and her little boy was running down the aisles too close to me. I remained calm but shot her a look with my eyes and she grabbed him back. I mean talk about nonchalant. Even her little girl was smarter than the mother IMO. It's OK to do as you please as long as it doesn't affect others in a negative way if you kwim.

My philosophy is this.

 

[chrono]

I guess that's me. DH is the one freaking out about not being able to find disposable gloves, wipes, masks and disinfectants, wanting to go everywhere to look for them. I'm still working 40 hour weeks from home, take my usual evening walks/bike rides and don't sweat anything I don't have control over.

 

[dk168]

Yup, pretty zen about it, as there is not a lot I can do, except to accept it as fate, and get on with life as much as I can.

I would like to believe I am quite resilient, having been dealt with a few not so good hands in life.

I must admit my normally bright, cheery and optimistic self had been put to the test lately with some of the comments/actions/reactions/etc. made by strangers, acquaintances and even friends on social medias.

So I just snooze or block them and move on, as life really is too short to be bothered by other people's negativity at times like these.

DK

 

[missy]

This thread from 2019 might be fun to re-read if you replied to it.

Are you resilient?

Part 1 of my question is: Do you consider yourself resilient? Part 2 is: Do you consider yourself happy? Whatever happy means to you. I think these 2 personal attributes are linked. Are they connected for you too?

www.pricescope.com

 

[stracci2000]

I am pretty zen about it. There is nothing much I can do, and getting upset or worked up about it only adds to the problem. I am being really careful and also upbeat. I figure that’s what I can do.
Eckhart Tolle talks lot about the “pain body” as he calls it. The thing where we love to go into the dark side and wallow for some reason...human nature I guess.
But to recognize the propensity and not go there is I think mentally very healthy.

Eckhart Tolle is very wise. His books got me through a big crisis in my life.
The pain body keeps trying to kill me, and I have to constantly remember to starve it out.

 

[MarionC]

Eckhart Tolle is very wise. His books got me through a big crisis in my life.
The pain body keeps trying to kill me, and I have to constantly remember to starve it out.

Yes.

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

I'm very zen about the situation while taking the lockdown and safety measures extremely seriously. I thoroughly enjoy the time with my children -except the homeschooling part. Our system puts a lot of pressure on us and we're busy all day long. Fortunately we have another week of holidays before we have to go back to work.

My children haven't left our property since 3/13.
I do groceries once a week. DH is essential, so working.
At least I'm 100% positive that we haven't spread that b"*&c of a virus to anyone.
That's what I can do and I'm doing it. Anything else: que sera sera!

 

[alittlelight]

What I have noticed is a handful of people that I know who I would classify as “super worriers,” especially about health matters, are actually calmer and very focused. I think the dissonance between their inner and outer realities has been resolved and they have a direction for their anxiety!

 

[SandyinAnaheim]

I'm like @mellowyellowgirl's husband and bestie, and my husband is the opposite. He becomes mean and short-tempered when he's frustrated. This is compounded by the fact that he is not very self-aware, so he doesn't even know what he's feeling in times of stress and just lashes out to relieve the pressure. To make it all the more pleasant, he is convinced he is going to catch and die of the virus, even though he has no exposure and has no underlying conditions....sigh. I feel more like @Jimmianne and @dk168.

I stopped working for two weeks but started back up on April 1st as I am considered essential pet care services because I work alone. So I have seen a wide variety of reactions amongst my clients. I have some that are behaving as if nothing is happening, and I have others that don't have room in their garages for cars as they are full of toilet paper, wipes, canned goods, etc. These people that are over-reacting are odd birds to begin with, but it seems like the pandemic has given them permission to free their true crazy selves, and it is off-putting.

Personally, I've been practicing social distancing for decades. I don't like people standing, sitting, or hovering close to me, so that's nothing new for me. I'm also a homebody so isolation doesn't pose a problem for me in the least. What I miss most is enjoying our small BBQ/Poker parties every other month with our good friends. I also try to keep reminding myself that common sense is no longer common, so I'm not shocked by others' irrational behaviors.

 

[yssie]

What I have noticed is a handful of people that I know who I would classify as “super worriers,” especially about health matters, are actually calmer and very focused. I think the dissonance between their inner and outer realities has been resolved and they have a direction for their anxiety!

That’s me!
DH marvels at the fact that I’ve not melted into a puddle of goop quivering with worry.
I told him that now everyone is wearing gloves at the petrol pump and scrubbing their avocados with soap just like I always have - much of the world has finally righted itself!

 

[Ally T]

I started off weeks back not being too bothered, but then it got close to home & I could feel my anxieties rising a little, particularly on the evening Boris Johnson announced full lockdown. I went & poured a neat whiskey & had a little cry at the thought of how life was about to change & for how long.

But then I woke up the next morning & decided I can't control it, so we'll just do the best that we can whilst keeping everybody safe. From that moment onwards, i have been very zen. We are in our own little bubble here, rural & quiet, with a handful of neighbours who all look out for each other. If we lived in an apartment in a city, I know I wouldn't feel zen in any way, so I'm thankful right now for choosing to live where we do.

I am very much enjoying the fact that I haven't worn so much as a scrap of mascara & my roots are very grey, though I will do them myself this coming weekend, for over 3 weeks now. I am enjoying this time with my family & the childrens laughter. When they are grown & have left, I will look back fondly on the time we were all cooped up together & how much fun we had. I am enjoying that fact that Mr T & I haven't killed each other yet & in fact have become closer - we are laughing at everything & there has been no bickering. Apart from yesterday when he made a roast, using every pot, pan & utensil without cleaning up after himself.....

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

My DH is a drama queen and harbours a lot of negativity--in good times and bad. I can't feed into that although I find it emotionally draining. I've always been level headed--in addition my work keeps me grounded. No point two people under the same roof that believes the sky exists in order to have it fall on you.

cheers--Sharon

 

[canuk-gal]

I started off weeks back not being too bothered, but then it got close to home & I could feel my anxieties rising a little, particularly on the evening Boris Johnson announced full lockdown. I went & poured a neat whiskey & had a little cry at the thought of how life was about to change & for how long.

But then I woke up the next morning & decided I can't control it, so we'll just do the best that we can whilst keeping everybody safe. From that moment onwards, i have been very zen. We are in our own little bubble here, rural & quiet, with a handful of neighbours who all look out for each other. If we lived in an apartment in a city, I know I wouldn't feel zen in any way, so I'm thankful right now for choosing to live where we do.

I am very much enjoying the fact that I haven't worn so much as a scrap of mascara & my roots are very grey, though I will do them myself this coming weekend, for over 3 weeks now. I am enjoying this time with my family & the childrens laughter. When they are grown & have left, I will look back fondly on the time we were all cooped up together & how much fun we had. I am enjoying that fact that Mr T & I haven't killed each other yet & in fact have become closer - we are laughing at everything & there has been no bickering. Apart from yesterday when he made a roast, using every pot, pan & utensil without cleaning up after himself.....

What's going on with your boiler?

FWIW, I miss mascara and when I wore it to work the other day--my blue mascara matched my facial mask! Bonus!

 

[Ally T]

What's going on with your boiler?

FWIW, I miss mascara and when I wore it to work the other day--my blue mascara matched my facial mask! Bonus!

Nothing feels better than a fashion high five!

The boiler has weirdly started working again. I have had to reboot it a few times, but i've figured that if the heating is on, then we have hot water. If the heating is off & we run ANY hot tap, it trips off.

Plumber says it sounds like a pump issue. When the heating is on then the diaphragms are open & hot water will flow. When off, there possibly isn't enough pressure through the pump to open the diaphragm. For now we are going to leave it as it is & baby it a bit. The pump is being ordered, but we will save him coming to the house unless it totally craps out & I can't get it running again.

It may mean as the weather warms up over the coming weeks we will have to flick the heating on just to shower or wash up, but cest la vie. We need a new boiler really, but unless it's an emergency it will have to wait for now.

Thanks for asking & I hope I haven't over shared? I have skills - I can talk a glass eye to sleep

 

[canuk-gal]

Nothing feels better than a fashion high five!

The boiler has weirdly started working again. I have had to reboot it a few times, but i've figured that if the heating is on, then we have hot water. If the heating is off & we run ANY hot tap, it trips off.

Plumber says it sounds like a pump issue. When the heating is on then the diaphragms are open & hot water will flow. When off, there possibly isn't enough pressure through the pump to open the diaphragm. For now we are going to leave it as it is & baby it a bit. The pump is being ordered, but we will save him coming to the house unless it totally craps out & I can't get it running again.

It may mean as the weather warms up over the coming weeks we will have to flick the heating on just to shower or wash up, but cest la vie. We need a new boiler really, but unless it's an emergency it will have to wait for now.

Thanks for asking & I hope I haven't over shared? I have skills - I can talk a glass eye to sleep

Talk away. I am hoping your boiler is an easy fix!!!!

Yours in Tiffany--Sharon

 

[Ally T]

Talk away. I am hoping your boiler is an easy fix!!!!

Yours in Tiffany--Sharon

You need to indulge me & take me a picture of ALL your Tiffs, including that beautiful cup

 

[missy]

Nothing feels better than a fashion high five!

The boiler has weirdly started working again. I have had to reboot it a few times, but i've figured that if the heating is on, then we have hot water. If the heating is off & we run ANY hot tap, it trips off.

Plumber says it sounds like a pump issue. When the heating is on then the diaphragms are open & hot water will flow. When off, there possibly isn't enough pressure through the pump to open the diaphragm. For now we are going to leave it as it is & baby it a bit. The pump is being ordered, but we will save him coming to the house unless it totally craps out & I can't get it running again.

It may mean as the weather warms up over the coming weeks we will have to flick the heating on just to shower or wash up, but cest la vie. We need a new boiler really, but unless it's an emergency it will have to wait for now.

Thanks for asking & I hope I haven't over shared? I have skills - I can talk a glass eye to sleep

Definitely have not overshared and I am pleased for you that your boiler is working again and may that continue. And may that new pump come soon so it is ready when you need it.

 

[Babyblue033]

My DH is a drama queen and harbours a lot of negativity--in good times and bad. I can't feed into that although I find it emotionally draining.

Wait, are you married to my husband too?

I find that I become the opposite extreme from my husband, putting my head in the sand if you will, which as you can imagine frustrates him to no end. But it's my way of "diluting" the level of panic and negativity he's putting out there already, more freaked out and crazy he gets, more calm I try to be.

Not truly zen internally but trying desperately not to get sucked into his level of negativity, which is exhausting.

I wonder what it's like to live with someone who is calm and realistic in face if crisis?

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

I generally am. I just look at a problem objectively and work on what I CAN do/control. I can't make this up so I won't but it's been a ride. Just a few weeks ago DH got "furloughed". OK, let's apply for unemployment and I'll "lighten the load" of my jewelry box to help float things until we start getting the money (c'mon NY). Literally 3 days after that I found out we're having another baby (if it sticks). OK, no more happy hour, increase stretching/meditation, call the doc. One.Step.At.A.Time. Control what you can and let the rest go.

 

[canuk-gal]

Wait, are you married to my husband too?

I find that I become the opposite extreme from my husband, putting my head in the sand if you will, which as you can imagine frustrates him to no end. But it's my way of "diluting" the level of panic and negativity he's putting out there already, more freaked out and crazy he gets, more calm I try to be.

Not truly zen internally but trying desperately not to get sucked into his level of negativity, which is exhausting.

I wonder what it's like to live with someone who is calm and realistic in face if crisis?

Take care BB! Goodness knows we all need to!

 

[redwood66]

I'm not sure if I'm zen about it but I do recognize that all I can do is be safe and make smart decisions regarding exposure. Beyond that I can't worry myself into a heap as that makes me have terrible physical problems. DH isn't worrying but he's pretty angry when he comes home due to all the people shopping. It seems social distancing is a hard habit to manage if you live in an area of gregariously touchy people. Handshaking and hugging are a reflex where I live which is requiring a complete rewiring of the brain in the age of Covid.

 

[foxinsox]

I thought I was super zen about it - we've got very few cases, they're clearly linked in clusters so we don't have widespread community transmission, work is fine, in fact busier than ever.. but I've been experiencing a few stress/mental health processing things where sound is suddenly too much for me, or I can't process everything at this point in time, that sort of thing. And work carrying on as usual has been surprisingly difficult in the last week - it's been surreal to be focused on super tight funding proposal deadlines for start of FY projects and information on contracts when we're all working from home because we're worried about dying from a virus!
So Easter could not have come at a better time. I spent 2 hours sitting outside with my sister (bubble overlap so low risk) eating hot cross buns and drinking coffee, rode my bike with DH, walked the dogs and laughed like mad at them zooming through the leaves (autumn here).
I feel normal again and able to be properly zen even about work carrying on just like every other day (short timelines everyone wants something done now).