Find your diamond
Find your jewelry
shape
carat
color
clarity

Do you feel guilty for not wearing your original rings?

pearaffair

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 15, 2015
Messages
3,261
I don't like to wear my wedding band because I find the straight edges uncomfortable. Most of the time I wear a plain comfort fit band because it is soooo comfortable! But I hate that I'm not wearing the band that takes me back to my wedding day. That was one of the best days of my life, and looking and my original rings takes me back to it!

So... Guilt. Also guilt for wanting to upgrade. Anyone else?
 

kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 30, 2005
Messages
29,161
pearaffair|1452821529|3976164 said:
I don't like to wear my wedding band because I find the straight edges uncomfortable. Most of the time I wear a plain comfort fit band because it is soooo comfortable! But I hate that I'm not wearing the band that takes me back to my wedding day. That was one of the best days of my life, and looking and my original rings takes me back to it!

So... Guilt. Also guilt for wanting to upgrade. Anyone else?
Perhaps a jeweler could smooth or curve those straight edges so your wedding ring is more comfortable.
 

diamondseeker2006

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 11, 2006
Messages
56,297
No guilt here. My original rings definitely have sentimental value to me and they are classic enough, but they are yellow gold and I think platinum looks so much better on me. I haven't worn them since I upgraded.
 

pearaffair

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 15, 2015
Messages
3,261
kenny said:
pearaffair|1452821529|3976164 said:
I don't like to wear my wedding band because I find the straight edges uncomfortable. Most of the time I wear a plain comfort fit band because it is soooo comfortable! But I hate that I'm not wearing the band that takes me back to my wedding day. That was one of the best days of my life, and looking and my original rings takes me back to it!

So... Guilt. Also guilt for wanting to upgrade. Anyone else?
Perhaps a jeweler could smooth or curve those straight edges so your wedding ring is more comfortable.


Good suggestion, Kenny, but I'm too sentimental for any form of restyle.

My band is platinum with three baguettes, and my e-ring is a pear-shaped labradorite set in silver. I want to upgrade the e-ring so I can wear something more durable, but the sentimentality keeps me coming back to my soft stone! Maybe I need to plan a second honeymoon to inaugurate a new ring ;-)

Also... I don't like that my two rings are different metals. I also don't like that the band has edges that curve out, making it spin. Le sigh. Silly the things we fixate on, eh?

imageuploadedbytapatalk1452823824.jpg

imageuploadedbytapatalk1452823852.jpg
 

pearaffair

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 15, 2015
Messages
3,261
diamondseeker2006 said:
No guilt here. My original rings definitely have sentimental value to me and they are classic enough, but they are yellow gold and I think platinum looks so much better on me. I haven't worn them since I upgraded.
They're sitting in the memory box? Did you do anything to make your new rings feel special? Like waiting for an anniversary, or having your spouse pick with you?
 

gregchang35

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 11, 2012
Messages
3,043
I switch them around... i have a few sets to play with.... :tongue:
 

LLJsmom

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 24, 2012
Messages
10,062
Lost my original band. Reset my original stone. Guess I don't feel guilty.
 

swingirl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 6, 2006
Messages
5,660
No guilt here. I wear my original diamond in a pendant and my original wedding band is somewhere in my jewelry box. If I want to feel sentimental about our wedding day I talk to my hubby about the good food and band we had. Neither of us can fit into our old bands, haha.
 

MarionC

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 9, 2013
Messages
6,246
No guilt! Onward!
Once I figured out that I was a collector, no problem. Think of old rings are your archives :lol:
 

unsettled

Shiny_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 6, 2015
Messages
371
I used to feel sentimental but not really anymore. I certainly don't love my husband any less. He never wears his ring. Maybe 12 times a year - if that. And he told me once that rings don't make us married. I am actually more sentimental about other pieces that he's given me than my wedding rings!
 

chrono

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 22, 2004
Messages
37,598
Not at all. Our original wedding sets were traded in for scrap gold. He likes his new band and I don't have an official set.
 

tyty333

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 17, 2008
Messages
22,737
I was feeling a little something* because I wasn't wearing my engagement ring very much. I don't think it was guilt. I think it was
more "what a waste of a pretty/expensive stone". It just sat in my ring dish all the time. I am currently having it reset in a setting
that is a lot lower in hopes that I will wear it a lot more.

I agree with Kenny. I dont think he was saying reset it. Take it to a jeweler and see if the jeweler can polish down the rough/pointy
areas that are bothering you. Look-wise you wont even notice.

If you are talking about the metal on the pointed end of your pear...besides buffing it down some not sure if that can be fixed
without a reset.
 

pearaffair

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 15, 2015
Messages
3,261
Jimmianne said:
No guilt! Onward!
Once I figured out that I was a collector, no problem. Think of old rings are your archives :lol:
I think I'm finding out that I'm a collector, haha! ;-)
 

pearaffair

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 15, 2015
Messages
3,261
tyty333 said:
I was feeling a little something* because I wasn't wearing my engagement ring very much. I don't think it was guilt. I think it was
more "what a waste of a pretty/expensive stone". It just sat in my ring dish all the time. I am currently having it reset in a setting
that is a lot lower in hopes that I will wear it a lot more.

I agree with Kenny. I dont think he was saying reset it. Take it to a jeweler and see if the jeweler can polish down the rough/pointy
areas that are bothering you. Look-wise you wont even notice.

If you are talking about the metal on the pointed end of your pear...besides buffing it down some not sure if that can be fixed
without a reset.
Hmm perhaps I'll look into it. It's just the band that's a tad uncomfortable, and it doesn't fit flat against the e-ring.
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
42,021
No guilt at all. I traded in my original (well my second original haha) ER for an OEC that I wear as my ER now. And my original WB I still have but never wear as it doesn't go with my OEC ER and it is also not really my style. So the rings I wear are none of the originals I was engaged and married with and I have no guilt at all. And it doesn't bother my dh either. He is just happy I am happy.

Since you still have your original however you can wear them whenever the mood strikes and you just might find in a few years that mood striking more often. Or you might want to turn it into another piece of more wearable jewelry. I had played with the idea of turning my shared prong eternity band into a necklace/pendant but I never got motivated enough to pursue that idea.
 

woofmama

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 23, 2011
Messages
3,021
No guilt here. I have three diamond bands that I rotate as my wedding band & a few rings that I switch out as an e-ring.
I had my original band cut off my finger years ago. It was pretty much destroyed but I still have it. My original e-ring is sitting in a box, I never liked it & have zero intention of wearing it.
 

farrahlyn

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Sep 22, 2015
Messages
1,170
i thought i would have way more guilt than i do. lol! My original e-ring was chosen by him and while he put a lot of thought into finding something "different" as i am not your typical round diamond gal.... it was a little too left field. I thought i'd be more sentimental about not wearing it but i adore my upgrade as it is exactly what i wanted and he REMEMBERED my love for this ring. He had it custom made for our 15th anniversary and also around an extremely difficult time for me healthwise. I was in the hospital for our anniversary and had major surgery shortly thereafter which has improved my health by leaps and bounds. So this new ring has a lot of sentiment attached to it, it sort of marks a new beginning for us as my health had deteriorated greatly in the last few years. I put on my original ring the other day and really felt no guilt over taking it off. I'm going to have the diamond reworked into a pendant or RHR. Guilt be gone!
 

cluelessupgrade

Rough_Rock
Joined
Dec 28, 2015
Messages
24
I just had to consider this issue myself, and I decided I would feel guilty. My DH did not have a lot of savings or good credit when we got engaged, so he sold his most valuable possession---a Les Paul guitar--to buy me the best ring he could afford, which was a 3-stone with a .43 center diamond and (2) .25 sides. Fast forward 16 years, and he surprised me by telling me that, for Christmas this year, he wanted to upgrade my e-ring. I decided to go with a 5-stone so I could keep the original stones and add a larger center. After MUCH back and forth in having a custom ring made, I'm finally happy with the result, which is a center stone 2.03 carats, surrounding by my original .43 and an additional .43, plus my original (2) .25s. Especially because this is so far into our marriage, for me, I wanted to keep my original stones, since this ring kind of represents how we've progressed and become more financially secure over our marriage. However, several times during the frustrating process of trying to get my new ring just right, both DH and I said I should have made my e-ring a RHR and just started over! I think it's a personal decision for each individual, for sure.
 

ame

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 7, 2004
Messages
10,763
I haven't had my originals since the day they were given to me, so no. There were huge dramatic fails with the whole shebang. I only recently got beyond all the "ring drama" nonsense, and hopefully the jerks that stole the ones that were "my originals" got the godawful karma that was tied to them.
 

Hipchik

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 6, 2016
Messages
53
cluelessupgrade|1452871595|3976352 said:
I just had to consider this issue myself, and I decided I would feel guilty. My DH did not have a lot of savings or good credit when we got engaged, so he sold his most valuable possession---a Les Paul guitar--to buy me the best ring he could afford, which was a 3-stone with a .43 center diamond and (2) .25 sides. Fast forward 16 years, and he surprised me by telling me that, for Christmas this year, he wanted to upgrade my e-ring. I decided to go with a 5-stone so I could keep the original stones and add a larger center. After MUCH back and forth in having a custom ring made, I'm finally happy with the result, which is a center stone 2.03 carats, surrounding by my original .43 and an additional .43, plus my original (2) .25s. Especially because this is so far into our marriage, for me, I wanted to keep my original stones, since this ring kind of represents how we've progressed and become more financially secure over our marriage. However, several times during the frustrating process of trying to get my new ring just right, both DH and I said I should have made my e-ring a RHR and just started over! I think it's a personal decision for each individual, for sure.

Selling the guitar for the ER is so . . . Well romantic. I can see why you're so attached to it. Loved your story. I recently recd an upgraded ring for an anniversary and I do feel a little sad about leaving my original ER in the box. I don't want to reset it though because I just look at it and remember the night he totally surprised me with the proposal. We had never discussed marriage so he was very brave. He bought a .58 RB in a classic simple setting. It's lovely. Your new ring sounds beautiful and just as special as the first one. Congrats.
 

EvangelineG

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 25, 2014
Messages
560
Nope. Been married for 20 years. My marriage has changed during that time, so have I and so has he. I feel like the new rings are representative of change and growth.

I would like to do something with the original stone at some point for sentimentality's sake- it's a 1/3 ct little guy that faces up like a 1/4 because the poor little guy is so deep and has a crazy thick, bruted girdle. I always wondered why it didn't sparkle much after we got it out of the store lighting, but loved it anyway. :))
 

diamondseeker2006

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 11, 2006
Messages
56,297
pearaffair|1452824090|3976180 said:
diamondseeker2006 said:
No guilt here. My original rings definitely have sentimental value to me and they are classic enough, but they are yellow gold and I think platinum looks so much better on me. I haven't worn them since I upgraded.
They're sitting in the memory box? Did you do anything to make your new rings feel special? Like waiting for an anniversary, or having your spouse pick with you?
Yes, I will eventually make a pendant for one of my daughters out of the original diamond. The upgrade diamond ring was for an anniversary. He would not be able to pick for me because I am an obsessive researcher and wanted to be sure I got great quality for a good price (and I am super picky), but I narrowed it down to two diamonds and he actually picked the larger of the two, so that's what I ordered!
 

AprilBaby

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 17, 2008
Messages
11,466
The original ring is long gone. No guilt at all. The diamond is in a pendant. The man means more than the rings.
 

february2003bride

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 18, 2005
Messages
3,546
No guilt! I still have the original husband, so there's no reason to feel guilty about not having my original wedding set. :angel:
 

kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 30, 2005
Messages
29,161
If it's important to YOU to wear your original ring in original condition, then do so.
If not, don't.

No one single way is right for everyone.
That's broken thinking ... unless you're talking about things like what 2+2 is equal to.
 

pearaffair

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 15, 2015
Messages
3,261
kenny said:
If it's important to YOU to wear your original ring in original condition, then do so.
If not, don't.

No one single way is right for everyone.
That's broken thinking ... unless you're talking about things like what 2+2 is equal to.
So true! Reminds me of what a jeweller friend once told me... "Some people keep the same hairstyle their whole lives. Some people change it up throughout the decades. And so it is with rings!"

Makes sense to me :)
 

Laila619

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
11,639
Not really, because DH didn't give me any say, and in fact, he got me something that I mentioned I DIDN'T want. It's a waste of money to just not wear it, so I sold my original diamond and wedding band. I *would* feel guilty if they just sat in my jewelry box.
 

Staceyjan

Shiny_Rock
Premium
Joined
Feb 13, 2016
Messages
338
No guilt at all...I am on my 3rd engagement ring and told my DH that he should be happy that it is not my third DH. I used the center stone for each one.
 

susief

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Dec 2, 2011
Messages
225
No guilt about upgrading the original engagement ring.

No guilt about selling the upgrade, though regret it a bit as I could have got a bit more as a trade-in for my new diamond (I thought I was finished with diamonds... ha! :cheeky: Note to any new mothers - DON'T sell your diamonds because they aren't practical with young kids... they grow up fast!) Part of the problem was that I upgraded randomly (not for a special occasion, did not receive it in a special way) so it just didn't have much meaning for me.

I do wear my original wedding band (plain 3mm platinum, heavy weight D-shape) because it's still perfect for me and I love it.

My priority is wearing beautiful, comfortable jewellery I love and that suits me and my lifestyle. Having something sentimental / the original is a nice added bonus but isn't the most important thing for me. I think you have to decide for yourself how this balance sits for you. There's no right or wrong.

I definitely think you should do something to imbue any new ring with meaning. Eg get it engraved with your wedding date and/or a special message. The inaugural ring honeymoon plan sounds like a winner :appl: It will also grow to have meaning over time as you will look back in a few years and think of all the things it has seen you through.
 
Be a part of the community It's free, join today!
    Quarter Century Anniversary Upgrade
    Quarter Century Anniversary Upgrade
    Diamonds and the Movies – Watchlist (Part 1)
    Diamonds and the Movies – Watchlist (Part 1)
    Something Blue
    Something Blue

Need Something Special?

Get a quote from multiple trusted and vetted jewelers.

Holloway Cut Advisor



Diamond Eye Candy

Click to view full-size image.
Top