Do You Dress Up For The Doctor?

[sonnyjane]

Interesting question. To be honest I would have never thought of this. I have unfortunately had to see a lot of doctors and specialists over the last two years and it never occurred to me to dress up. I usually wear yoga pants and a t-shirt! Even during my consultations with my cancer surgeon I don't think it ever occurred to me to dress up. It isn't out of disrespect for the doctor at all, it just never crossed my mind that a doctor would have any opinion whatsoever on what I wore to the appointment!

 

[Dee*Jay]

Most of my doctor's visits involve my knees so I tend to go in shorts. But I always wear diamond studs!

 

[marymm]

Whether I am going to the doctor on my own behalf or back when I was taking care of my father and would take him for his various medical appointments, I never dressed up - I was clean and fresh, and wore decent clothing, but was more concerned with checking in on time and having wraps in case it was cold and reading material in case of a wait. My attitude with medical professionals is to be forthright and specific to the extent possible. When I accompanied my father (who had dementia), I made sure I was prepared to discuss his current situation and to get the answers/referrals necessary for his ongoing care. Perhaps I have been blessed, but my doctors and specialists have always treated me with respect, listening with care to what I had to say and responding appropriately. What is more, they also treated my father with respect and care, which to me was an even greater signifier of their level of professionalism, compassion and humanity.

 

[AGBF]

This entire thread has made me realize how much age plays a factor in the doctor/patient relationship. Rosetta's comment was very apt and is what made me start to think about it; it would never have occurred to me. (You are very insightful, rosetta.)

When I was younger I was often worried about going to the doctor. I was worried about meeting new doctors. I was defensive and my feelings sometimes bordered on the paranoid. When I started to read this thread, I originally found the entire topic to be a little odd. I mean, I did remember my grandmother and mother telling us to wash up and dress nicely when we were children and had to go to the doctor. But that was what I thought about what I opened the thread: a childhood memory. I couldn't even relate to it in my life now.

When I go to the doctor now I don't even think about it except to be sure that I have showered and that I have brushed my teeth and used mouthwash. I don't wear clothing that is dirty, but that's about it!

It isn't odd; people judge others all the time for looking manky, or dirty, or badly presented

First of all, (and you bolded my word, Smith), I said, "I originally found this topic to be a little odd". When I say, "I found" that means I am expressing my opinion, Smith. I didn't say, "It WAS odd". I said, "I FOUND" it odd. Your retort to my opinion of the factual, "It isn't odd" is a bit arrogant. Since when do you make the facts?

Second of all, you totally misunderstood the point of my posting. I used the word, "originally" deliberately. I used it because I later had a different opinion about it. Later, after reflecting on my life experiences, I did NOT find it odd. I understood it. I remembered that in my youth I felt the same way that you do now and that many other posters appear to. Even SB, who says she is assertive, seems to feel that dealing with physicians requires summoning up one's reserves. She writes that she is lucky that her career requires professionalism; that she is assertive; and that there are many doctors in her family.

I used to feel the way that you and SB appear to feel now: that doctors are formidable and that one must be ready to meet them with a strong arsenal. As I read the thread, I remembered how much I used to feel that way. The only thing that has changed is how doctors treat me. As rosetta said, they treat me differently because I am older. That is all there is to it.

Now when I go to see my nephrologist and he has a young associate or medical student with him, he is extremely deferential to me and calls me Mrs. So-and-So and introduces the young doctor as if he is being honored to be in the examination. This never would have happened when I was younger.

AGBF

 

[Smith1942]

All right, there's no need to be so defensive. It's not like you to jump all over people, AGBF. I was in a rush and would usually have typed something like, "Hmm, well, I don't think it's so odd, really, considering that some people do judge others on appearance, and an important doctor visit is a time when you probably don't want that to happen." But I was late for dinner and didn't have time to type something that was carefully nuanced and guaranteed not to give offence to anybody, and neither did I pick up on the nuances of your post. Also, it's always hard on Internet and email because there is no tone of voice. In my head it was said in quite a mild tone. I really, really didn't mean to upset you or for it to sound the way it did.

As for the bolding, I believe that that is customary on PS in order to show which part of the post you're responding to. The majority do it, for clarity. If I'd known you didn't like it, I wouldn't have done it. There was no need for a bolding rampage back!

I think it's awful the way that people get jumped on a lot here. Did people see that thread where the guy wanted to ask the parents' blessing? My jewellery has been insulted on here before, and one poster wrote a horrific attack on me once because I was upset that my city had been bombed, my friend had died and my mum's cancer had taken a nosedive, all in the same week. Oh, that poster called me all manner of things for having the nerve to be upset. I reported them and had the post taken down immediately so the person wouldn't embarrass themselves any further. I do not interact with that person on PS, ever, nor the person who insulted my jewellery. They also do not ever interact with me. I have no idea why they were so horrible to me, and I don't much care, either.

I wouldn't dream of turning round and having a go at somebody in real life, so I extend the same manners in all settings. (I'm not talking about you, AGBF, but some of the really disgusting attacks that I've witnessed or the one described above.) In almost a thousand posts I have never started an attack on anybody. And can you imagine someone like the lovely Enerchi doing something like that? I can't. Enerchi is a wonderful example of tolerance, kindness, wisdom, and manners, in my opinion.

So, to get back to the subject matter, only one person who's replied also dresses up for the doctor and hairdresser. I don't really dress up for routine PCP visits, only when I feel that quite a lot is at stake. And for some reason, I find it very stressful meeting a new doctor. Perhaps, deep down, I feel that if they don't like me, maybe I won't get the right treatment. I don't consciously think that, of course. But perhaps I do, subconsciously. I also feel like it isn't really an equal relationship. They know SO much more about your body and its workings and its biochemistry than you ever will.

 

[NOYFB]

Interesting question. To be honest I would have never thought of this. I have unfortunately had to see a lot of doctors and specialists over the last two years and it never occurred to me to dress up. I usually wear yoga pants and a t-shirt! Even during my consultations with my cancer surgeon I don't think it ever occurred to me to dress up. It isn't out of disrespect for the doctor at all, it just never crossed my mind that a doctor would have any opinion whatsoever on what I wore to the appointment!

This. If a doctor is judging me and the treatment he/she prescribes based on the way that I am dressed, I am looking for a new doctor.

I work in a hospital, btw.

 

[Smith1942]

Definitely agree with this too. Once I knew the doc, I don't think I'd dress up and not really for long-term care where you get to know the doc really well, too. But first impressions and all that.

 

[JulieN]

I don't think it matters much so long as you are clean and decent.

Unless your husband's doctor caters to the wealthy, VIP types.

 

[AGBF]

All right, there's no need to be so defensive. It's not like you to jump all over people, AGBF. I was in a rush and would usually have typed something like, "Hmm, well, I don't think it's so odd, really, considering that some people do judge others on appearance, and an important doctor visit is a time when you probably don't want that to happen." But I was late for dinner and didn't have time to type something that was carefully nuanced and guaranteed not to give offence to anybody, and neither did I pick up on the nuances of your post. Also, it's always hard on Internet and email because there is no tone of voice. In my head it was said in quite a mild tone. I really, really didn't mean to upset you or for it to sound the way it did.

I apologize, Smith. My rampage of bolding was uncalled for. So was my entire rampage, in fact. It was good of you to return my nuttiness not only with civility, but with kindness. I am almost in tears as I write my reply to you. I am really humbled by your goodness. I have problems at home with a mentally ill daughter and I think that sometimes I do not realize how much my judgment is affected by my anger at her incessant acting out. I would like to think that if I were still working (which I cannot since I must care for her) that I would be able to be professional, but when I see that I lose my temper on Pricescope, I often wonder if it is not a good thing that I am no longer working!

Best wishes always,
Deb

 

[Smith1942]

Awww, Deb. Poor you....have a cyber-hug (((((Deb))))). The situation with your daughter must be SO hard. Look, I know nothing about your circumstances, but is it possible for you to get some more support, like respite care? Or is there a day facility where your daughter could go for one or two days a week, or something? I feel like there should be support for caregivers. Lastly, I have had mentally ill family members and when they were acting out terribly, it meant that the medication wasn't right. Once it was right, the family member was like a different person.

I feel for you, I really do.

 

[tyty333]

Yes...I do dress up a little more. I'm a stay at home mom so I hardly ever get to dress up. Its one of my
few opportunities. (Sad, I know).

 

[Niel]

The title of your post reminded me of a situation I was in last year.....

I had just had my DD... the labor was about 33 hours, I nearly had an emergency c section (they were about to wheel me out but tried that suction cup thing one more time first) I had had I think 7 people besides my SO in the room at when she was born, and I had traded off about 4 nurses during my stay, sense they kept getting off their shift. so after my labor I had had QUITE a lot people poking and prodding and getting in my fine china.

Anyways while I was there, they asked if I was allergic to penicillin. I said yes they said "what does it do to you.... ". I told them I did t remember. They had discovered my allergy young so I didnt know what it would do. Turns out the reason they asked was because they were going to give it to me anyway!

About two days after we left the hospital (I think all in all I was there 5 days) I developed a truly terrible allergic rash. I could hardly hold my dd my body was so warm she would get upset, I couldn't sleep my rash was so burning it stung at all times. It was over about 60% of my body....it was bad.

After finally realizing I had to go to the doctors (or hospital) I managed to find a clean pull over dress (mind you it was a heat wave in Michigan, about 100degrees) I had showered but only as a way to cool my rash down.. my hair a mess, 4 days after I'd given birth I walk into my doctors office. I was a fright.... he came in to see me and had to look at my rash. Being that I had a dress on I just pulled it up to show him my belly(where the rash started), not thinking, I was used to hospital labor procedure. I think he was mid "i can get you a sheet" sentence when I did it and I had only moved to this town 2 no this before, so of course this was my first visit

So clearly, I did NOT make the best impression on him. But truly I didn't care. And now every time I see him I dress normal, and that's a step up



I also rememeber that day he walked out of the room after first seeing my rash, the first person he saw in the hallway he said "good LORD this woman has a terrible rash!" Hahaha

 

[Sparklelu]

To add a bit of levity in this thread....
A woman received a morning call telling her that her gynecologist appointment had been rescheduled for early that morning at 9:30 a.m. It was 8:45 already and she had no time to spare but wanted to take a little extra effort over hygiene as most women do when seeing the doctor. She rushed upstairs, wet a washcloth and gave herself a quick wash in the appropriate area. She threw the cloth in the dirty clothes basket, donned some clothes and raced to her appointment. She was called in after a short time and hopped up on the table. She was a little surprised when the doctor said "My... we have taken a little extra effort this morning, haven't we?" but she didn't respond. When the appointment was over, she gave a sigh of relief and went home. That evening, her daughter was dressing to go out when she called down from the bathroom "Mom - where's my washcloth?" The woman told her to get another from the cabinet but the daughter called back
"NO! I NEED THE ONE THAT WAS HERE BY THE SINK. IT HAD ALL MY GLITTER AND SPARKLES IN IT!"

 

[yennyfire]

I dress up for my patients! It's only professional. I don't judge patients by their dress. I have zero tolerance for disrespectful/self-important behaviour from a patient though, and wouldn't hesitate to tell them to find another doctor. I work in one of the leading hospitals in the world in my field, so we are never, ever short of patients. Quite the opposite in fact.

You are more likely to be taken seriously by your behaviour rather than your dress IMHO but if you feel more confident when you are well presented, then by all means go right ahead

This was exactly what I was going to say. While I do think that being attired in clean, well fitting clothes is important (as opposed to dirty rags), I would hope that the way I present MYSELF is more important than what I'm wearing. I will say though, that upon meeting my rheumatologist for the first time, she and I (after the medical discussion was over) spent some time discussing her adorable shoes and my cute dress. I knew I picked a good one when she took the time to actually chat with me and not just my disease! The conversation was still professional (i.e. not like gabbing with my best girlfriend), but it was nice to feel like a person and not a # on a chart.

 

[Zlata]

Smith, I hope your husband's new doctor is able to help him. I know how hard it is to worry about a loved one's care. I'd offer ((hugs)), but know you don't care for them when given by strangers!

Best wishes, truly.

Z

 

[smitcompton]

Hi,

I think you may be expressing a different cultural leaning. My brother lives in England and I have lived there myself for a year.
To play golf my brother has a dress code that he must adhere to. When my son went to play golf with with my brother last yr, he was told to being a jacket for dinner, and other attire for the golf outing. That doesn't happen in the states. When my sister-in law and her friends pick up their children from school they dress to do it. There are no jeans or sweats or sweatshirts worn.

They way people speak is important there, and a good friend of mine was given elocution lessons when she was young, and she also gave her children elocution lessons. Outward symbols are more important there than the US IMO.

The Dr here (US) will not notice your diamonds. Most everyone has czs and no-one can tell the difference. I think the way you speak will be much important than what you wear. I'd really be surprised if they would notice your clothes, unless something was odd.
If you over-worry about the impression you are making, you may not be listening and responding as well as you should. Really, I don't think he/she cares about what you wear. Relax, because I think you can think better. Be yourself.


Annette

 

[Niel]

I think you may be expressing a different cultural leaning. My brother lives in England and I have lived there myself for a year.To play golf my brother has a dress code that he must adhere to. When my son went to play golf with with my brother last yr, he was told to being a jacket for dinner, and other attire for the golf outing. That doesn't happen in the states. When my sister-in law and her friends pick up their children from school they dress to do it. There are no jeans or sweats or sweatshirts worn.

Yes it absolutely does in the us. Most high end golf clubs require a dress code. And if they are a country club, the dinning room would have a dress code as well. You go to your local podunk 9hole golf course, you can wear whatever, but not at a golf club.

 

[smitcompton]

Hi Neil,

Perhaps a private country club would have a dress code, but in my area the non public golf clubs do not have a dress code, and they are very nice golf clubs.

Annette

 

[Niel]

Hi Neil,

Perhaps a private country club would have a dress code, but in my area the non public golf clubs do not have a dress code, and they are very nice golf clubs.

Annette

Weird. I golf. Used to be on the golf team in HS so played at a lot of places. Most of them had at least a no jeans, collard shirt policy.

But could very well be different there

 

[dragonfly411]

I always get dressed to go out, I just don't always do my makeup. I always wear my jewelry staples.

 

[kenny]

To add a bit of levity in this thread....
A woman received a morning call telling her that her gynecologist appointment had been rescheduled for early that morning at 9:30 a.m. It was 8:45 already and she had no time to spare but wanted to take a little extra effort over hygiene as most women do when seeing the doctor. She rushed upstairs, wet a washcloth and gave herself a quick wash in the appropriate area. She threw the cloth in the dirty clothes basket, donned some clothes and raced to her appointment. She was called in after a short time and hopped up on the table. She was a little surprised when the doctor said "My... we have taken a little extra effort this morning, haven't we?" but she didn't respond. When the appointment was over, she gave a sigh of relief and went home. That evening, her daughter was dressing to go out when she called down from the bathroom "Mom - where's my washcloth?" The woman told her to get another from the cabinet but the daughter called back
"NO! I NEED THE ONE THAT WAS HERE BY THE SINK. IT HAD ALL MY GLITTER AND SPARKLES IN IT!"

Oh my!
How festive!

 

[AGBF]

To add a bit of levity in this thread....
A woman received a morning call telling her that her gynecologist appointment had been rescheduled for early that morning at 9:30 a.m. It was 8:45 already and she had no time to spare but wanted to take a little extra effort over hygiene as most women do when seeing the doctor. She rushed upstairs, wet a washcloth and gave herself a quick wash in the appropriate area. She threw the cloth in the dirty clothes basket, donned some clothes and raced to her appointment. She was called in after a short time and hopped up on the table. She was a little surprised when the doctor said "My... we have taken a little extra effort this morning, haven't we?" but she didn't respond. When the appointment was over, she gave a sigh of relief and went home. That evening, her daughter was dressing to go out when she called down from the bathroom "Mom - where's my washcloth?" The woman told her to get another from the cabinet but the daughter called back
"NO! I NEED THE ONE THAT WAS HERE BY THE SINK. IT HAD ALL MY GLITTER AND SPARKLES IN IT!"

Oh my!
How festive!

I usually only bring out this picture when someone is asking for dust, but in this case....

AGBF

 

[kenny]

 

[SB621]

I dress up for my patients! It's only professional. I don't judge patients by their dress. I have zero tolerance for disrespectful/self-important behaviour from a patient though, and wouldn't hesitate to tell them to find another doctor. I work in one of the leading hospitals in the world in my field, so we are never, ever short of patients. Quite the opposite in fact.

You are more likely to be taken seriously by your behaviour rather than your dress IMHO but if you feel more confident when you are well presented, then by all means go right ahead

Oh Rosetta- I think you and I would clash head on in RL if we ever met . Perhaps it is the over confidence issue that we both have ( at least I believe you have said this about yourself from previous posts). I have zero tolerance for the same type of personality but I also know this is typically the vibe I give off when people meet me especially in business dealings.

You're in England right?! If I get sick I'll make sure it is on this side of the pond

 

[JaneSmith]

To add a bit of levity in this thread....
A woman received a morning call telling her that her gynecologist appointment had been rescheduled for early that morning at 9:30 a.m. It was 8:45 already and she had no time to spare but wanted to take a little extra effort over hygiene as most women do when seeing the doctor. She rushed upstairs, wet a washcloth and gave herself a quick wash in the appropriate area. She threw the cloth in the dirty clothes basket, donned some clothes and raced to her appointment. She was called in after a short time and hopped up on the table. She was a little surprised when the doctor said "My... we have taken a little extra effort this morning, haven't we?" but she didn't respond. When the appointment was over, she gave a sigh of relief and went home. That evening, her daughter was dressing to go out when she called down from the bathroom "Mom - where's my washcloth?" The woman told her to get another from the cabinet but the daughter called back
"NO! I NEED THE ONE THAT WAS HERE BY THE SINK. IT HAD ALL MY GLITTER AND SPARKLES IN IT!"

Vajazzel!



I must say, that I do make sure everything is groomed, but I wear my normal clothes. Diamonds? Every day baby!

I'm reminded by these threads how very glad I am to have socialised medicine.

 

[Smith1942]

Deb - re. the sparkles!

Elisateach - your joke! I met a psychiatrist in a bar the other night - seriously. The bar was across from the health centre, and the bar is my local - I'm often there. Anyway, this is HIS joke so sorry in advance for any offence. He said that a patient came to see him, wrapped all over in Saran wrap. His response to this vision? "I can clearly see your nuts!"

Niel - Oh my God, that story about your rash is just horrendous! POOR you!!

Annette - your point about the cultural differences is very interesting. It could be part of it. As a foreigner in America, in general I always feel like I want to fly the flag for my country anyway by being as good as possible in all manner of ways. But about dress codes and snobbery in America, I think there is definitely that laid-back culture in many ways, but there are also pockets of snobbery as well. And I never know whether a place or a group of people or a subculture (such as a new job) is going to be one way or the other.

Zlata - thanks for your kind comments.

Tyty - I couldn't help but laugh at your comment about the doc's being an excuse to dress up!

 

[Smith1942]

To add a bit of levity in this thread....
A woman received a morning call telling her that her gynecologist appointment had been rescheduled for early that morning at 9:30 a.m. It was 8:45 already and she had no time to spare but wanted to take a little extra effort over hygiene as most women do when seeing the doctor. She rushed upstairs, wet a washcloth and gave herself a quick wash in the appropriate area. She threw the cloth in the dirty clothes basket, donned some clothes and raced to her appointment. She was called in after a short time and hopped up on the table. She was a little surprised when the doctor said "My... we have taken a little extra effort this morning, haven't we?" but she didn't respond. When the appointment was over, she gave a sigh of relief and went home. That evening, her daughter was dressing to go out when she called down from the bathroom "Mom - where's my washcloth?" The woman told her to get another from the cabinet but the daughter called back
"NO! I NEED THE ONE THAT WAS HERE BY THE SINK. IT HAD ALL MY GLITTER AND SPARKLES IN IT!"

Vajazzel!



I must say, that I do make sure everything is groomed, but I wear my normal clothes. Diamonds? Every day baby!

I'm reminded by these threads how very glad I am to have socialised medicine.

Hmmm...I don't know...I've lived in both systems now, and I'm still very unsure which I think is best. (Lived in the UK =32 years, USA = 6 years.) It's true that the payment and admin issues with the US system are incredibly awful, and extremely stressful. We are easily able to pay for good healthcare, and we're a stone's throw from some of the world's best hospitals, but what about all the people in America who can't pay and who don't live somewhere with fancy hospitals? That's the question.

On the plus side, once the premiums are paid and the mountain of paperwork has been ploughed through, the errors fixed and the myriad of phone calls made, the actual healthcare is, I believe, excellent. In hospital here they took my temperature by waving a wand over my hair, and put a little round plaster on my neck which for three days emitted anti-nausea meds into me - it was amazing. And for that surgery - which wasn't major - my work healthcare paid for one of Boston's top doctors, the same guy who operates on the Red Sox. And I never saw a bill.

Also, when you have a GP appointment over here, they spend ages with you. As long as you need. When I first came here I rang up wondering if I needed to book a double appointment for more than one issue and they laughed. You just get all the time you need, whereas I believe the NHS target for each GP appointment is 10 minutes, or something?

The things that go on in hospitals here are quite amazing. Face transplants, triple transplants, the works. The boundaries of medicine are pushed over here, generally, not in the UK. But people I know in the UK have had excellent care, too. However, there is a postcode lottery for cancer drugs, which doesn't happen here. You got the insurance, you get the drugs. You can languish on a waiting list for a long time in the UK, which doesn't happen here - provided you've got the healthcare insurance and are feisty enough to stamp on all your insurers' mistakes.

 

[House Cat]

I actually have a condition where my personal appearance is taken into account as a part of the severity of my condition. With most mental illnesses, how you are dressed, whether or not you are clean, dressed up, etc is rated on an archaic scale and doctors and therapists will actually judge you by your appearance (and how you twitch or wring your hands) along with what you say. Sometimes I feel they judge you more by your appearance than by what you say. I know this depends on the healthcare professional. I think too many of them become jaded in the field of psychiatry/psychology.

I have bipolar disorder and PTSD, this is a funny combination because this usually means that I present very well. People who have bipolar loved ones well will tell you that unless they are catatonically depressed, they will probably have the ability to crack a joke in the midst of their depression. Furthermore, trauma survivors are masters at pulling themselves together and looking great when in all reality, they are dying inside. I have had several times where I have needed to be hospitalized in my younger years, and because I showed up, well dressed, with make-up on, with the ability to smile, I was not believed. This meant that I was left to suffer much longer than needed until I was finally...hospitalized.

The flip side, if I ever wore more make-up than normal or curled my hair, I have been accused of being manic when I wasn't.

When I found that psychiatrist who took me seriously and really understood who I was, I held on to her and didn't let her go. I have been seeing her for 17 years now.

There ARE instances where appearance matters in the world of medicine.

 

[rosetta]

I dress up for my patients! It's only professional. I don't judge patients by their dress. I have zero tolerance for disrespectful/self-important behaviour from a patient though, and wouldn't hesitate to tell them to find another doctor. I work in one of the leading hospitals in the world in my field, so we are never, ever short of patients. Quite the opposite in fact.

You are more likely to be taken seriously by your behaviour rather than your dress IMHO but if you feel more confident when you are well presented, then by all means go right ahead

Oh Rosetta- I think you and I would clash head on in RL if we ever met . Perhaps it is the over confidence issue that we both have ( at least I believe you have said this about yourself from previous posts). I have zero tolerance for the same type of personality but I also know this is typically the vibe I give off when people meet me especially in business dealings.

You're in England right?! If I get sick I'll make sure it is on this side of the pond

Don't worry, the only way I will see you is if you a) get cancer b) get a fairly rare type of cancer c) be living in the UK or be rich enough to travel to us and pay for very, very expensive drugs and radiation treatment. There's no way I would I would divulge any names, but I have some very rich and very well-known people through my work. And because I work in the UK, I also have the pleasure of treating the poor, the homeless and everyone in between.

I mean this in the nicest way SB: I never want to see you at my place of work!

 

[Kaleigh]

HUGS Deb!!!

I dress nicely most of the time. I don't dress up for anyone but myself.. I could give a rats ass what a doc thinks of how I dress.

I am well versed and articulate in all things medical. And his or her attention to the matter at hand and how they address such matters is all that matters to me..

If they fail in doing so, I move on to someone who will be able to help..

My kids had severe medical issues, so learned early on. About being an advocate and the like.

Dont waste my time. Dont know?? Tell me so I can find someone that does...