Do You Dress Up For The Doctor?

[Smith1942]

So, today was our first meeting with my husband's new hospital doctor, upon whom many hopes are pinned. I dressed up, with my triple-whammy of D studs and pendant, my antique diamond bangle, nice make-up, long-sleeve shirt and trousers even though it's 90 outside, nice shoes and bag, etc. My husband always dresses well, anyway. I feel that first impressions are important and we really, really need the doctor to take my husband seriously. Yes, yes, I know they are all supposed to treat everyone the same, but they are only human and everyone is subject to subliminal messages and forces.

So, do you dress up for the doctor? Do you think it makes a difference? We have all heard stories about patients who tell the doctor about their symptoms, only for the doctor not to take them seriously.

On a related note, I also dress up for the hairdresser. I feel that if it's clear that YOU take your personal presentation seriously, they will take it more seriously also.

My husband found this philosophy most amusing and wondered aloud why I wasn't dressed in a ballgown and long white gloves for the appointment!

As an aside, I personally hated this doctor within 10 seconds of meeting him. He's my husband's doctor and my husband was perfectly happy, so it's all fine. But may I just say, in this safe venting-space that is PS, big fat

 

[amc80]

Nope. I find my great insurance is enough to get all the attention I need...

 

[princesss]

Nope. But generally if I'm seeing a doctor it's a cardiologist, and I'm enough of an anomaly in their office that I'm taken pretty seriously - and if they think by looking at me that I'm not worth their time, once I start talking they listen up.

The only doctors that don't take me seriously are the ones I see when I'm miserable and need antibiotics, and by the time I'm finally pressured into seeing them, "dressing up" = "putting on clean underwear"

 

[SB621]

Nope. Normally when I'm going to the doctor I'm either covered it kid vomit or sick myself so I have zero interest in trying to look good.

 

[Smith1942]

Nope. I find my great insurance is enough to get all the attention I need...

Maybe I'm not used enough to the American system yet, but how would having a particular level of insurance make a doctor take you more seriously? I mean, you've either got it or you haven't, so the doctor gets paid or he/she doesn't. Ours is excellent insurance, including prosthetics, mental health, chiropractic (which is rare) and a deductible of only 1k, plus all prenatal and infertility care free, and it's not a hospital choice cost-share plan or anything. Also, pharmacy costs and routine office visits are not subject to the deductible. It costs a thousand a month for both of us (we're self-employed) and it's better insurance than we had when we were working in corporate America as there is also no co-insurance with this plan. It's great insurance....but I don't understand how that would influence the doctor in the way we're describing. He wouldn't even have seen our plan - the hospital's admin would deal with all that.

 

[Smith1942]

Nope. But generally if I'm seeing a doctor it's a cardiologist, and I'm enough of an anomaly in their office that I'm taken pretty seriously - and if they think by looking at me that I'm not worth their time, once I start talking they listen up.

The only doctors that don't take me seriously are the ones I see when I'm miserable and need antibiotics, and by the time I'm finally pressured into seeing them, "dressing up" = "putting on clean underwear"

Whoa, that's hardcore. Sorry to hear that!

 

[Circe]

Dude, I dress up, period. I've been known to go grocery shopping in a 1950's tea gown. Just, you know, because. I'm with you on the philosophy of self-presentation translating into general perception.

The downside of this is that ever since I was a little kid, between the dressing up and the vocabulary, people have thought I was a know-it-all with delusions of grandeur. I'm friendly as a Labrador, swear! But apparently it doesn't translate.

Eh. At least it means I pre-screen for self-confident friends? And respectful doctors.

P.S. - I think men may generally, a) get better treatment, and, b) pick up on less crap in the medical profession. My husband ADORED his doctor back in Cali for telepathically sensing his dr. girlfriend at the time (because he'd come in for a minor thing, because, of course, any man taking care of himself must be getting nagged into it by a lady) and then pulling a Sherlock by diagnosing his old shoes as the problem (by the way he walked). Me, I thought he was a a$$ of the first order, a) because he managed to ignore what I said about not tolerating steroids THREE TIMES in one session with THREE DIFFERENT medications, each of which I had to force him to look up in his PDR, and, b) because he sent me a half-off coupon for lipo and botox for my 30th birthday. I'd never so much as mentioned either. Also, THIRTY, with goth-skin and a BMI of 23. He was worse than a a$$, actually. An a$$ serves a purpose: he was more of a douche ... a fundamentally useless fossil of the patriarchy that did more harm than good. URGH.

 

[Smith1942]

Nope. Normally when I'm going to the doctor I'm either covered it kid vomit or sick myself so I have zero interest in trying to look good.

I guess I should have made clear that I'm not really talking about routine visits to a PCP for run-of-the-mill everyday sicknesses, but visits to a busy top surgeon at a top hospital like, say, Johns Hopkins. My husband seriously needs treatment and I don't want him to be just a number. This field of medicine is widely misunderstood in the general population and has a high number of patients who are non-compliant with treatment and simply cannot be helped. My husband's is actually the third case of this illness in which I've been involved, one was with a college friend and another was a family member. It's safe to say I know more about this stuff than I ever wanted to.

So I guess I should re-phrase that to say: If you felt that your back was against the wall, and it's vital that you make a good impression on this top doctor, would you dress up? Probably seems silly to put your best diamonds on, but I guess I was a little intimidated. My husband is a co-operative patient who is ready to do what he has to do, and I wanted them to take us seriously.

 

[princesss]

Nope. Normally when I'm going to the doctor I'm either covered it kid vomit or sick myself so I have zero interest in trying to look good.

I guess I should have made clear that I'm not really talking about routine visits to a PCP for run-of-the-mill everyday sicknesses, but visits to a busy top surgeon at a top hospital like, say, Johns Hopkins. My husband seriously needs treatment and I don't want him to be just a number. This field of medicine is widely misunderstood in the general population and has a high number of patients who are non-compliant with treatment and simply cannot be helped. My husband's is actually the third case of this illness in which I've been involved, one was with a college friend and another was a family member. It's safe to say I know more about this stuff than I ever wanted to.

So I guess I should re-phrase that to say: If you felt that your back was against the wall, and it's vital that you make a good impression on this top doctor, would you dress up? Probably seems silly to put your best diamonds on, but I guess I was a little intimidated. My husband is a co-operative patient who is ready to do what he has to do, and I wanted them to take us seriously.

I think doing anything you can to feel like you're presenting yourself the way you want to be perceived, ESPECIALLY when you want to be taken seriously, is good.

Also, and this doesn't work for everybody, but I view it this way - without me, they don't get paid. They work for me. And so they will not be a**holes to me, they will not condescend to me, and they will take me seriously or I stop paying them and start paying somebody else. I kind of walk in with a bit of a "You work for me" mentality (not attitude, but it's what I tell myself) and I find myself less inclined to take crap from them or let them make a decision for me that I don't agree with.

 

[missy]

I love fashion and yes I make sure I always look nice. However I rarely wear makeup these days-just minimally to look polished enough but for fashion I like to go all out. I am pretty minimal on jewelry with the heat but I always wear my ER and WB, watch and earrings when going out-doctor or otherwise.

I like what Circe said about prescreening for confident friends and respectful doctors.

 

[amc80]

Nope. I find my great insurance is enough to get all the attention I need...

Maybe I'm not used enough to the American system yet, but how would having a particular level of insurance make a doctor take you more seriously? I mean, you've either got it or you haven't, so the doctor gets paid or he/she doesn't. Ours is excellent insurance, including prosthetics, mental health, chiropractic (which is rare) and a deductible of only 1k, plus all prenatal and infertility care free, and it's not a hospital choice cost-share plan or anything. Also, pharmacy costs and routine office visits are not subject to the deductible. It costs a thousand a month for both of us (we're self-employed) and it's better insurance than we had when we were working in corporate America as there is also no co-insurance with this plan. It's great insurance....but I don't understand how that would influence the doctor in the way we're describing. He wouldn't even have seen our plan - the hospital's admin would deal with all that.

I've found that the better insurance I have, the more aggressive the doctor tends to be. I had a really weird lung thing going on and the pulminologist couldn't figure it out. He wanted to do a procedure that he wasn't sure would help but didn't want to rule out, so he flat out asked me how my insurance was...meaning if it was bad, he didn't think it would be worth the cost for me to have to pay out of pocket.

 

[rosetta]

I dress up for my patients! It's only professional. I don't judge patients by their dress. I have zero tolerance for disrespectful/self-important behaviour from a patient though, and wouldn't hesitate to tell them to find another doctor. I work in one of the leading hospitals in the world in my field, so we are never, ever short of patients. Quite the opposite in fact.

You are more likely to be taken seriously by your behaviour rather than your dress IMHO but if you feel more confident when you are well presented, then by all means go right ahead

 

[amc80]

I wanted to add- the only doctor I fix myself up for in any way is my OB...if you know what I mean.

 

[rosetta]

I wanted to add- the only doctor I fix myself up for in any way is my OB...if you know what I mean.

Trust me, your OB appreciates this!

 

[princesss]

I dress up for my patients! It's only professional. I don't judge patients by their dress. I have zero tolerance for disrespectful/self-important behaviour from a patient though, and wouldn't hesitate to tell them to find another doctor. I work in one of the leading hospitals in the world in my field, so we are never, ever short of patients. Quite the opposite in fact.
You are more likely to be taken seriously by your behaviour rather than your dress IMHO but if you feel more confident when you are well presented, then by all means go right ahead

Whoops, hope that wasn't inspired by my comment! I only meant that I use that as a mental script to keep me from getting talked over by doctors, not to act imperious or like I know better. I know my *body* better than they do, but that's about it.

 

[Matata]

Oh heck no! When I'm at the doctor, it's usually for that appointment where I'm dressed in a paper gown with my feet in stirrups and my whoha is in his face. Not gonna waste good clothes for that one although I'm always properly waxed.

 

[rosetta]

I dress up for my patients! It's only professional. I don't judge patients by their dress. I have zero tolerance for disrespectful/self-important behaviour from a patient though, and wouldn't hesitate to tell them to find another doctor. I work in one of the leading hospitals in the world in my field, so we are never, ever short of patients. Quite the opposite in fact.
You are more likely to be taken seriously by your behaviour rather than your dress IMHO but if you feel more confident when you are well presented, then by all means go right ahead

Whoops, hope that wasn't inspired by my comment! I only meant that I use that as a mental script to keep me from getting talked over by doctors, not to act imperious or like I know better. I know my *body* better than they do, but that's about it.

I should hope not. You wouldn't be helping yourself at all. A mutually respectful doctor patient relationship is essential to good care. I don't think you would be disrespectful princess, but if you feel you have to get defensive to stop your doctor from talking over you, then there's a break down in the relationship. You shouldn't have to feel like your doctor isn't listening to you.

 

[princesss]

I dress up for my patients! It's only professional. I don't judge patients by their dress. I have zero tolerance for disrespectful/self-important behaviour from a patient though, and wouldn't hesitate to tell them to find another doctor. I work in one of the leading hospitals in the world in my field, so we are never, ever short of patients. Quite the opposite in fact.
You are more likely to be taken seriously by your behaviour rather than your dress IMHO but if you feel more confident when you are well presented, then by all means go right ahead

Whoops, hope that wasn't inspired by my comment! I only meant that I use that as a mental script to keep me from getting talked over by doctors, not to act imperious or like I know better. I know my *body* better than they do, but that's about it.

I should hope not. You wouldn't be helping yourself at all. A mutually respectful doctor patient relationship is essential to good care. I don't think you would be disrespectful princess, but if you feel you have to get defensive to stop your doctor from talking over you, then there's a break down in the relationship. You shouldn't have to feel like your doctor isn't listening to you.

You're right, I shouldn't have to. But I have in the past, and so I've found this mental script is good for screening new doctors. Call it my version of the HCA. Once I see that a doctor listens and is respectful, I relax, but I definitely have learned to do mental prep work when meeting a new doctor.

 

[rosetta]

I dress up for my patients! It's only professional. I don't judge patients by their dress. I have zero tolerance for disrespectful/self-important behaviour from a patient though, and wouldn't hesitate to tell them to find another doctor. I work in one of the leading hospitals in the world in my field, so we are never, ever short of patients. Quite the opposite in fact.
You are more likely to be taken seriously by your behaviour rather than your dress IMHO but if you feel more confident when you are well presented, then by all means go right ahead

Whoops, hope that wasn't inspired by my comment! I only meant that I use that as a mental script to keep me from getting talked over by doctors, not to act imperious or like I know better. I know my *body* better than they do, but that's about it.

I should hope not. You wouldn't be helping yourself at all. A mutually respectful doctor patient relationship is essential to good care. I don't think you would be disrespectful princess, but if you feel you have to get defensive to stop your doctor from talking over you, then there's a break down in the relationship. You shouldn't have to feel like your doctor isn't listening to you.

You're right, I shouldn't have to. But I have in the past, and so I've found this mental script is good for screening new doctors. Call it my version of the HCA. Once I see that a doctor listens and is respectful, I relax, but I definitely have learned to do mental prep work when meeting a new doctor.

Ah that's a shame. But if you're finding that ALL your doctors are sort of looking down on you, until you've spoken up for yourself then you don't have a choice really. It'll get better when you get older at least!

 

[rosetta]

And every thread about healthcare brings into sharp focus the subtle (sometimes not so subtle) differences between the US and UK. I find it fascinating!

 

[Smith1942]

Hey Rosetta, I've got a shocker for you: My flatmate and I were living in Pimlico, London, in 2000. We had a doctor in Belgravia, who turned out to be so bad that it's actually funny. We used to call her The Vet. Both of us went to her for our PAP smears. We had the same experience. She suddenly whooshed her instrument up us at top speed, and we then bled for three days each!!

One time, she saw that I had bruises on my legs. It was from carrying bags of groceries with cereal box corners etc, as you do when you live in Central London. She seemed convinced that I had a boyfriend who was beating me up...even when I told her that I was totally, completely single and had been for ages! She seemed to think it was more likely that the Invisible Boyfriend was causing the damage instead of bags of awkward shopping!

Anyway, about the other things you've said: You appear to be relatively normal, as far as we can tell. But some doctors are prejudiced, or superior, or plain not that nice. I think we're all on guard against those, not ones like you.

 

[Smith1942]

And every thread about healthcare brings into sharp focus the subtle (sometimes not so subtle) differences between the US and UK. I find it fascinating!

Well, most Americans are insured through work and the HR department deals with the whole shebang. But since my husband and I are both self-employed, I had the pleasure of sifting through all the health plans to find the best one for us, and I deal with the insurance company all the time. Mistakes were made on the initial purchase of the plan, and it took five months to fix. When we left the old insurer, they decided to pull back some of the money they'd paid. It's six months since we had that insurance, and I had to make a number of calls to sort it out. The administrative burden of managing your health insurance is absolutely staggering. For one doctor visit, I get five pieces of paperwork. You've never seen anything so Orwellian in your life.

 

[rosetta]

Hey Rosetta, I've got a shocker for you: My flatmate and I were living in Pimlico, London, in 2000. We had a doctor in Belgravia, who turned out to be so bad that it's actually funny. We used to call her The Vet. Both of us went to her for our PAP smears. We had the same experience. She suddenly whooshed her instrument up us at top speed, and we then bled for three days each!!

One time, she saw that I had bruises on my legs. It was from carrying bags of groceries with cereal box corners etc, as you do when you live in Central London. She seemed convinced that I had a boyfriend who was beating me up...even when I told her that I was totally, completely single and had been for ages! She seemed to think it was more likely that the Invisible Boyfriend was causing the damage instead of bags of awkward shopping!

Anyway, about the other things you've said: You appear to be relatively normal, as far as we can tell. But some doctors are prejudiced, or superior, or plain not that nice. I think we're all on guard against those, not ones like you.

There's bad eggs everywhere. Trust me, the aggressive, I'm-better-than-everyone-else types are not pleasant to their colleagues either. I DO get a bit defensive whenever I suspect all doctors are getting tarred with the same brush, and I'll be ruddy well defending myself!

The Vet sounds horrendous. I've never bled after a cervical smear ever!

 

[missy]

I dress up for my patients! It's only professional. I don't judge patients by their dress. I have zero tolerance for disrespectful/self-important behaviour from a patient though, and wouldn't hesitate to tell them to find another doctor. I work in one of the leading hospitals in the world in my field, so we are never, ever short of patients. Quite the opposite in fact.
You are more likely to be taken seriously by your behaviour rather than your dress IMHO but if you feel more confident when you are well presented, then by all means go right ahead

Whoops, hope that wasn't inspired by my comment! I only meant that I use that as a mental script to keep me from getting talked over by doctors, not to act imperious or like I know better. I know my *body* better than they do, but that's about it.

I should hope not. You wouldn't be helping yourself at all. A mutually respectful doctor patient relationship is essential to good care. I don't think you would be disrespectful princess, but if you feel you have to get defensive to stop your doctor from talking over you, then there's a break down in the relationship. You shouldn't have to feel like your doctor isn't listening to you.

I couldn't agree more. Sometimes it might take some work to find the caring doctors but they certainly exist. I like all of my doctors as I chose them based on the fact that they listen to me and address my concerns and they are good at what they do as well. The 2 are not always connected though so it is vital to do your homework. A good doctor should have both the knowledge and the care to do their best by you and to do that they need to really listen to you.

 

[SB621]

Nope. Normally when I'm going to the doctor I'm either covered it kid vomit or sick myself so I have zero interest in trying to look good.

I guess I should have made clear that I'm not really talking about routine visits to a PCP for run-of-the-mill everyday sicknesses, but visits to a busy top surgeon at a top hospital like, say, Johns Hopkins. My husband seriously needs treatment and I don't want him to be just a number. This field of medicine is widely misunderstood in the general population and has a high number of patients who are non-compliant with treatment and simply cannot be helped. My husband's is actually the third case of this illness in which I've been involved, one was with a college friend and another was a family member. It's safe to say I know more about this stuff than I ever wanted to.

So I guess I should re-phrase that to say: If you felt that your back was against the wall, and it's vital that you make a good impression on this top doctor, would you dress up? Probably seems silly to put your best diamonds on, but I guess I was a little intimidated. My husband is a co-operative patient who is ready to do what he has to do, and I wanted them to take us seriously.

Yes in that case I would dress up however, with my attitude and confidence I would be hard pressed to find a person who wouldn't take me seriously. The day job kicks in....that and my family is full of doctors so it is not above me to name drop.

 

[gemtastic]

Type of health insurance does matter to a degree. Doctors (and hospitals) negotiate payment rates with different insurance companies. Some pay better than others. Some are very difficult to deal with (Tricare).

In terms of dressing up, doesn't matter to me if my doctor is in scrubs or street clothes, as long as they know their stuff. I always bring a clean pair of socks to put on for the stirrups! Wouldn't want bare feet or dirty socks next to my OB's head

Am surprised to hear so many negative feelings towards doctors and that they don't "care" about you or your health. Isn't that why they went into their profession? I haven't had that experience.

 

[Smith1942]

I really love my GP. She's amazing.

I have a friend who gets in a total state about her smear tests, convinced that it's all going to be a disaster. So anyway, she plucked up her courage and went for a test. This was back when she was young, only about 20. Shortly after the test, on a Friday afternoon, she gets a message saying that she needs to come back next week. Well, she spent that weekend in a whirlwind of worry. She'd been called back - and quickly, too. By the time she got an appointment for the Monday morning, I believe she'd practically written her will. They said to her, "Oh, there's nothing wrong, We just didn't get enough cells so we have to re-do the test!" Why on earth leave someone a message like that on a Friday afternoon, leaving the whole weekend for them to worry about what's wrong? They could have just said on the message that they simply needed to repeat the test due to an error on their part. So my friend launched into a tirade at the doctor about how she'd been worried sick all weekend, etc etc etc, and he merely laughed and said, "Oh, sorry. Gave you a few grey hairs, did I?" We do laugh about it now, but she was worried back then!

 

[AGBF]

You're right, I shouldn't have to. But I have in the past, and so I've found this mental script is good for screening new doctors. Call it my version of the HCA. Once I see that a doctor listens and is respectful, I relax, but I definitely have learned to do mental prep work when meeting a new doctor.

Ah that's a shame. But if you're finding that ALL your doctors are sort of looking down on you, until you've spoken up for yourself then you don't have a choice really. It'll get better when you get older at least!

This entire thread has made me realize how much age plays a factor in the doctor/patient relationship. Rosetta's comment was very apt and is what made me start to think about it; it would never have occurred to me. (You are very insightful, rosetta.)

When I was younger I was often worried about going to the doctor. I was worried about meeting new doctors. I was defensive and my feelings sometimes bordered on the paranoid. When I started to read this thread, I originally found the entire topic to be a little odd. I mean, I did remember my grandmother and mother telling us to wash up and dress nicely when we were children and had to go to the doctor. But that was what I thought about what I opened the thread: a childhood memory. I couldn't even relate to it in my life now.

When I go to the doctor now I don't even think about it except to be sure that I have showered and that I have brushed my teeth and used mouthwash. I don't wear clothing that is dirty, but that's about it! I mean, how much time do I spend in the waiting room and whom do I see there that I know? I know that it is my age that has changed me. I am just 1,000 times more relaxed that I used to be.

I won't discuss pelvic exams. TMI.

Deb/AGBF

 

[Smith1942]

You're right, I shouldn't have to. But I have in the past, and so I've found this mental script is good for screening new doctors. Call it my version of the HCA. Once I see that a doctor listens and is respectful, I relax, but I definitely have learned to do mental prep work when meeting a new doctor.

Ah that's a shame. But if you're finding that ALL your doctors are sort of looking down on you, until you've spoken up for yourself then you don't have a choice really. It'll get better when you get older at least!

This entire thread has made me realize how much age plays a factor in the doctor/patient relationship. Rosetta's comment was very apt and is what made me start to think about it; it would never have occurred to me. (You are very insightful, rosetta.)

When I was younger I was often worried about going to the doctor. I was worried about meeting new doctors. I was defensive and my feelings sometimes bordered on the paranoid. When I started to read this thread, I originally found the entire topic to be a little odd. I mean, I did remember my grandmother and mother telling us to wash up and dress nicely when we were children and had to go to the doctor. But that was what I thought about what I opened the thread: a childhood memory. I couldn't even relate to it in my life now.

When I go to the doctor now I don't even think about it except to be sure that I have showered and that I have brushed my teeth and used mouthwash. I don't wear clothing that is dirty, but that's about it! I mean, how much time do I spend in the waiting room and whom do I see there that I know? I know that it is my age that has changed me. I am just 1,000 times more relaxed that I used to be.

I won't discuss pelvic exams. TMI.

Deb/AGBF

It isn't odd; people judge others all the time for looking manky, or dirty, or badly presented - rightly or wrongly. It's the same as the age issue. I'm still being asked for ID at age 38 and I have always had trouble being taken seriously because of the ole' baby face. Being treated differently for your age is the same as being treated differently due to your presentation. They're both aspects of your looks.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Yes, I dress up for doctor visits. I feel if I present myself in a professional manner, the dr will take me more seriously.

I also do dress up for the hair salon even though they give me a robe...usually I wear nicer shoes/handbag bc those are seen by them. I figure if I have nicer things, they'll anticipate a larger tip and do a better job. Who knows if this is accurate.