My fiancee just got me our dream ring...he designed it himself very carefully, based on inspiration pieces we found together. It is so beautiful and meaningful. It was also a big surprise for both of us!
Neither of us had anticipated how incredible and flashy his design would actually look in real life. You know how there's a "Wow!" factor to a nice diamond that can't really be captured in a photo? Well, we were diamond-naive and didn't fully realize that, so he designed something that looks "Wow!" in design and inspiration photos... but in person that actually comes out as "WowWOW!!" (I finally totally get what people mean when they say the photo of their ring doesn't do it justice!)
Sounds like bragging almost, right? Well, of course I am dazzled! We are both privately magpies abut sparkle...When it's just me and him looking at it in private, we think it's overwhelming but gorgeous.
BUT...showing it to others is another story! I feel genuine discomfort when I think of showing it to family and friends..and even just walking around ...it's kind of a
feeling...and I'm hoping for some PS "therapy" on the issue!
I know "flashiness" is all relative (it would be no biggie on PS and probably downright puny on Wall St.), but I believe that for my RL community, it's on the high-flash side. I think the stone is somewhat (not hugely) larger than normal for here, but he chose a very sparkly RB, and it's set in a fancy pave band...think Tacori-esque (but it's a no-name as he designed it himself). I'm known as a modest person in general, definitely not "the flashy one," so this is different and probably unexpected for me. And:
a) Some specific people (not my favorite people, but unavoidable) may be envious and try to make my life more difficult due to that.
b) We don't want people who care about us worrying that he spent too much on the ring. We are both comfortable with what he spent, but we don't want this up for analysis.
c) I'm scared that people on the street will see it and want to steal it. (I heard people may even cut off your finger!)
Even he is making similar comments, which makes me feel relieved that it's not "only me" feeling these anxieties (I love how he makes me feel "sane" )
Anyway, due to feeling discomfort imagining what others will think/say/do, I find myself wondering if it's too gaudy. I hate that I'm having these thoughts because we designed it, he worked so hard on it, and it feels wrong to feel embarrassed of it and like hiding it, when I am so overjoyed of what it represents! My wedding band will definitely be very simple (it will go great with it) and in future I can have the option to sometimes wear just the band. BUT, the wedding is still far off, and everyone will want to see the e-ring.
I'm wondering a couple things:
- Is a big part of the "flash factor" the fact that it's just been high-polished and sonic cleaned? Will it "tame down"(darken?) significantly as it gets a little use?
- Is this a normal reaction to our first piece of "bling" jewelery? Could the gaudiness be mostly in our own heads? Is there "flash reduction" over time (similar to "diamond shrinkage") ...the longer we look at it the more normal it will seem to us?
- There are so many absolutely breathtaking rings on PS - I'm sure that for some of you, your ring must stand out as different among your real-life community? How do you deal??
- What is the best (humblest) way to deal with potential comments/perceptions that the ring is "too much"? What do you think about when showing it for the first time: smudging it up, showing it in bad lighting, emphasizing that it's a "no name", or even lying about the quality? (DF won't be offended, and I don't mind if it goes so far that people end up underwhelmed with my ring!)
Neither of us had anticipated how incredible and flashy his design would actually look in real life. You know how there's a "Wow!" factor to a nice diamond that can't really be captured in a photo? Well, we were diamond-naive and didn't fully realize that, so he designed something that looks "Wow!" in design and inspiration photos... but in person that actually comes out as "WowWOW!!" (I finally totally get what people mean when they say the photo of their ring doesn't do it justice!)
Sounds like bragging almost, right? Well, of course I am dazzled! We are both privately magpies abut sparkle...When it's just me and him looking at it in private, we think it's overwhelming but gorgeous.
BUT...showing it to others is another story! I feel genuine discomfort when I think of showing it to family and friends..and even just walking around ...it's kind of a
feeling...and I'm hoping for some PS "therapy" on the issue! I know "flashiness" is all relative (it would be no biggie on PS and probably downright puny on Wall St.), but I believe that for my RL community, it's on the high-flash side. I think the stone is somewhat (not hugely) larger than normal for here, but he chose a very sparkly RB, and it's set in a fancy pave band...think Tacori-esque (but it's a no-name as he designed it himself). I'm known as a modest person in general, definitely not "the flashy one," so this is different and probably unexpected for me. And:
a) Some specific people (not my favorite people, but unavoidable) may be envious and try to make my life more difficult due to that.
b) We don't want people who care about us worrying that he spent too much on the ring. We are both comfortable with what he spent, but we don't want this up for analysis.
c) I'm scared that people on the street will see it and want to steal it. (I heard people may even cut off your finger!)
Even he is making similar comments, which makes me feel relieved that it's not "only me" feeling these anxieties (I love how he makes me feel "sane"
)Anyway, due to feeling discomfort imagining what others will think/say/do, I find myself wondering if it's too gaudy. I hate that I'm having these thoughts because we designed it, he worked so hard on it, and it feels wrong to feel embarrassed of it and like hiding it, when I am so overjoyed of what it represents! My wedding band will definitely be very simple (it will go great with it) and in future I can have the option to sometimes wear just the band. BUT, the wedding is still far off, and everyone will want to see the e-ring.
I'm wondering a couple things:
- Is a big part of the "flash factor" the fact that it's just been high-polished and sonic cleaned? Will it "tame down"(darken?) significantly as it gets a little use?
- Is this a normal reaction to our first piece of "bling" jewelery? Could the gaudiness be mostly in our own heads? Is there "flash reduction" over time (similar to "diamond shrinkage") ...the longer we look at it the more normal it will seem to us?
- There are so many absolutely breathtaking rings on PS - I'm sure that for some of you, your ring must stand out as different among your real-life community? How do you deal??
- What is the best (humblest) way to deal with potential comments/perceptions that the ring is "too much"? What do you think about when showing it for the first time: smudging it up, showing it in bad lighting, emphasizing that it's a "no name", or even lying about the quality? (DF won't be offended, and I don't mind if it goes so far that people end up underwhelmed with my ring!)
)
), i'd just make sure that they know that's not the case, and emphasize this is something very special and meaningful that you created together with the love of your life. 
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