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Digital STDates and invites vs. paper

Novel

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Aug 31, 2009
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Hey ladies...

So, in an attempt to save money, paper, and effort (to be honest), FI and I are discussing doing digital STDates or invites instead of paper. We're conflicted - he thinks people like to have a Save the Date they can put on the fridge in some form or another, something to hold on to as a hard reminder of the wedding. I think you can't do a paper STDate and then a digital invite, that it's weird, but you could do a digital STDate and a paper invite.

One of my bridesmaids is a graphic designer and she's offered to design all our paper products no matter what, which helps. She's make a gorgeous digital Save the Date if we went that way. No matter what, I think we're going to do digital RSVP-ing with a wedsite, which will save money and paper.

I never really wanted to have a wedding invite of ours to frame or anything like that, so that doesn't really factor in for me, and we would print invites for the older folks (just my grandmother's friends) who don't have email.

What are your thoughts on digital paper products? Too informal (we're having an evening backyard wedding at my aunt's home in the mountains, so it isn't a super fancy wedding to begin with)? One of those modern conveniences that never should have gained a foothold? Or, a great way to save time, money, and paper and no one will really miss them? And, while I'm at it, digital rsvps (with a good proven system!) - good, bad, ugly, awful, tacky, the best thing ever?

edited to not say "the emails" like its "the interwebs", or something.
 

OUpearlgirl

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I hate to break it to you, but I can't stand the idea. I am all about going green, but I don't think a wedding invitation should be on par with a friend's potluck dinner. I've never been invited to an important event without a paper invitation.

As for the digital RSVP, I'm not a huge fan, but that bothers me far less than e-vites for weddings.

Sorry! I'm not trying to be rude, I just wanted to give you honest feedback.
 

slg47

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I prefer paper but there are some really great e-invites for weddings and other occasions now. I received a wedding invitation from paperless post (the couple was trying to save money) and I was impressed with how nice it was for email.

I think ultimately you have to decide what your budget and priorities are and go with that :)
 

Blackpaw

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i think its a good idea! save the dates are a pretty recent phenom from what i understand (i guess because we're all so busy and important now :bigsmile: ) so i would go the paper invite and the electronic std (does it bother anyone else what else this is an acronym for?)...this is if you wanted to do one and not the other...

and if you want to do both electronically then i think go for it, its sad to think that in this day and age people would cling to a paper invite as 'proper' when we all know its a waste of trees. Sorry to say it folks but ive never received a wedding invite id like to keep (do people who design wedding invitations these days think they're Monet? it seems like they do from the prices!) so unless you would like to keep the invite for sentimentality's sake i say go with the e-vite!

and ill add to that, to show im not completely biased and possibly a part of greenpeace black-ops, that i have my eye set on a paper invite because its so pretty and i like the idea of keeping it....but ill likely do an electronic std :bigsmile:



Was that to crazy for my first post in BWW as a BIW?
 

vc10um

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I'm really not a fan of digital invites, either, but I also love getting REAL MAIL. It makes me feel special and important. Just another email? Meh.

I can see doing the electronic Save the Dates (I refuse to shorten that to its acronym), especially if you provided a direct link to your wedding website and/or reserved hotels, etc. ESPECIALLY if you didn't have any tech-averse elderly guests. My DH's grandmother thinks the internet is evil and doesn't own a computer, nor do they have cable...she doesn't watch TV, just VHS tapes of the Apple Dumpling Gang. So electronic-only ANYTHING was out.

For the actual invites, again, if you don't have any tech-averse guests, I think a digital RSVP is fine. But you can get lovely single-sheet invites printed for cheap, and I would suggest looking into doing those on recycled paper. I think having the physical invite is just that much more special for the GUESTS than an e-vite. But that's just me.
 

OUpearlgirl

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vc10um|1317988909|3035241 said:
I'm really not a fan of digital invites, either, but I also love getting REAL MAIL. It makes me feel special and important. Just another email? Meh.

I can see doing the electronic Save the Dates (I refuse to shorten that to its acronym), especially if you provided a direct link to your wedding website and/or reserved hotels, etc. ESPECIALLY if you didn't have any tech-averse elderly guests. My DH's grandmother thinks the internet is evil and doesn't own a computer, nor do they have cable...she doesn't watch TV, just VHS tapes of the Apple Dumpling Gang. So electronic-only ANYTHING was out.

For the actual invites, again, if you don't have any tech-averse guests, I think a digital RSVP is fine. But you can get lovely single-sheet invites printed for cheap, and I would suggest looking into doing those on recycled paper. I think having the physical invite is just that much more special for the GUESTS than an e-vite. But that's just me.

Exactly. I think offended isn't the right word for how I'd feel as a guest if I received an e-vite, but I would certainly be miffed. There are some occasions that I believe should just be more formal than others. A wedding is one of them. Have you seen the invitations that fold on themselves (thus saving you from envelopes) and the end is perforated, so guests can tear it off and mail in a post card RSVP? They are less expensive and better for the environment.
 

Novel

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PS just ate my post...

OUpeargirl and vc10um, that was exactly what I needed to hear! I think I'm coming to the wedding with a more informal viewpoint and doing what I can to make our wedding that way, but there are traditions and practices that are traditional for a reason, you know? They're better for the guests. And OUpeargirl, that invite idea is a great one!

Blackpaw, not too out there at all! I think just the digital STDate might be the best compromise, if FI can be on board with it. Otherwise, all recycled paper, I guess.

slg47, we did paperlesspost for our engagement party (which sadly got canceled because I was in the hospital) and everyone loved it! But I can see how even though it's beautiful, there is just something less substantive about it.

I suppose I could also reframe my thinking about the money we'd spend on paper products and postage as my donation to the continued future of the postal service...
 

amc80

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I wouldn't have a problem with a digital save the date, but a digital invitation would seem...tacky. We did magnets for our save the dates though, and it's really fun to be at someone's house and see it on their fridge!
 

pandora21524

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There's a recent Miss Manners column where she agrees that you don't have to include a reply card/envelope but can just request an RSVP and let the guests figure out how to do it. So that would save a little money. If I were doing that, I'd include an RSVP section on the wedding website and make sure the link was on the invite or save the date somewhere. Of course, that might ultimately result in a lot of phone messages to keep track of...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifes...ers-courtesy/2011/09/08/gIQAGnf1zK_story.html
 

vc10um

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OUpeargirl|1317996563|3035292 said:
vc10um|1317988909|3035241 said:
I'm really not a fan of digital invites, either, but I also love getting REAL MAIL. It makes me feel special and important. Just another email? Meh.

I can see doing the electronic Save the Dates (I refuse to shorten that to its acronym), especially if you provided a direct link to your wedding website and/or reserved hotels, etc. ESPECIALLY if you didn't have any tech-averse elderly guests. My DH's grandmother thinks the internet is evil and doesn't own a computer, nor do they have cable...she doesn't watch TV, just VHS tapes of the Apple Dumpling Gang. So electronic-only ANYTHING was out.

For the actual invites, again, if you don't have any tech-averse guests, I think a digital RSVP is fine. But you can get lovely single-sheet invites printed for cheap, and I would suggest looking into doing those on recycled paper. I think having the physical invite is just that much more special for the GUESTS than an e-vite. But that's just me.

Exactly. I think offended isn't the right word for how I'd feel as a guest if I received an e-vite, but I would certainly be miffed. There are some occasions that I believe should just be more formal than others. A wedding is one of them. Have you seen the invitations that fold on themselves (thus saving you from envelopes) and the end is perforated, so guests can tear it off and mail in a post card RSVP? They are less expensive and better for the environment.

If you're interested in the type of invite OUPearGirl mentioned, I would check out this website. They offer All-in-One invites printed on either recycled or PLANTABLE paper. How cool, right!? My DH and I were looking into them until we shifted some money to our photography budget to get a second shooter and basically dropped out invite budget to whatever postage cost (I used the BRIDES collection invites from Michael's and bought the kits on sale, so the total for ~50 invites, including $1.10 postage each, worked out to <$2/invite).
 

LittleRiver

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I have received digital STDs and invitations and not had any strong feelings about it one way or the other. Paperless Post is really nice. Do whatever works for you!

For my own wedding, though, I do feel there is something more special about paper invitations.
 

yssie

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Pot luck? Tacky?

Goodness, of all the utterly ridiculous things to spend one's energy being miffed over - what medium you receive a wedding invitation through??



We did e-SaveTheDates and eInvites. I am a programmer, and I spent *hours* desigining, photographing for, and programming them. It certainly wasn't taking the easy way out in terms of effort, nor was it cheaper - my hourly rate is a heck of a lot more than what I saved by doing them myself.

We made that choice because our invitations were very complicated - pre-ceremony religious festivities, two ceremonies, two receptions, two locations, two menus... We were confident that if people had to sit down, fill everything out for everyone in the family, not lose anything before mailing back we wouldn't get nearly enough responses in the timeline we specified. Besides, many of our guests were overseas, in Israel and India, no guarantees on when we'd get anything back through multiple postage systems even if they did mail them back right away!

As it was we heard only good things. People loved the designs, they loved that they just clicked through and didn't have to worry about it any more, and they loved that they had the option of having info automatically synch to their Outlook/Google calendars as we updated w/ transportation info, etc. If people found them tacky, or felt that they were being invited to a pot luck, it sure didn't get back to us... and boy, I'm very glad I don't know some of the responders in this thread :rolleyes:
 

amc80

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Yssie|1318021278|3035541 said:
Pot luck? Tacky?

Goodness, of all the utterly ridiculous things to spend one's energy being miffed over - what medium you receive a wedding invitation through??



We did e-SaveTheDates and eInvites. I am a programmer, and I spent *hours* desigining, photographing for, and programming them. It certainly wasn't taking the easy way out in terms of effort, nor was it cheaper - my hourly rate is a heck of a lot more than what I saved by doing them myself.

We made that choice because our invitations were very complicated - pre-ceremony religious festivities, two ceremonies, two receptions, two locations, two menus... We were confident that if people had to sit down, fill everything out for everyone in the family, not lose anything before mailing back we wouldn't get nearly enough responses in the timeline we specified. Besides, many of our guests were overseas, in Israel and India, no guarantees on when we'd get anything back through multiple postage systems even if they did mail them back right away!

As it was we heard only good things. People loved the designs, they loved that they just clicked through and didn't have to worry about it any more, and they loved that they had the option of having info automatically synch to their Outlook/Google calendars as we updated w/ transportation info, etc. If people found them tacky, or felt that they were being invited to a pot luck, it sure didn't get back to us... and boy, I'm very glad I don't know some of the responders in this thread :rolleyes:

Don't get me wrong, I don't sit and dwell about this. If I got an evite to a wedding I would think about it for maybe 30 seconds and then move on. I think your situation is one where it actually makes sense, especially given the international aspect. It would also depend on your social circle. I mean if I were a web designer or a programmer and had a lot of friends who did that sort of thing, an electronic invitation would be a logical choice. Especially one like you described. I would probably be pretty impressed. What I'm invisioning is more of a standard EVite where the sender puts basic info into a form and wham, invitations sent. I just couldn't do it.
 

sillyberry

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I think it depends on the forum. Invitations set the tone, so you want it to seem appropriate for the occasion.

Big fancy ballroom wedding with a large budget? I might be surprised by a digital invitation. For a backyard wedding, however, provided it is on the informal side, I think a digital invitation would be fine. But I would definitely work to make it thoughtful and not just a standard run-of-the-mill, fill-in-the-blank evite. Yssie, yours sounds pretty intense (in a good way!)!

I loved my paper invites and wouldn't have wanted to not have them. At the same time, we all have different priorities and different ideas about how a wedding should function. A wedding doesn't *have* to be a formal affair and having an informal event doesn't make the marriage ceremony any less important. Since a mailed paper invitation isn't something I think of a courtesy, and a digital invitation isn't being "cheap" in a way that harms the guest, I wouldn't put it on the "OMG don't do it!!!" list.
 

monarch64

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Paper save-the-dates and invitations are certainly nice, but unless they are really expensive or elaborate or well-done, I'm typically not impressed with them. I would have absolutely no problem with electronic communication regarding saving the date or an invitation to someone's wedding. It's green, less expensive, and I don't have to feel guilty when I finally toss the save-the-date (no matter how cute or clever) or the invitation.

The bridal industry is HUGE, and just like DeBeers, it makes sure to generate lots of hype about etiquette and doing things the proper way. Pshaw. It's ok not to live your life according to other people's rules. (This is a general statement/my opinion, not directed at anyone in particular here).

As a guest, I'm honestly so tired of the big, over the top wedding. I would LOVE to see something, ANYTHING, different at this point. Digital invites? Yes, please.
 

OUpearlgirl

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Yssie|1318021278|3035541 said:
Pot luck? Tacky?

Goodness, of all the utterly ridiculous things to spend one's energy being miffed over - what medium you receive a wedding invitation through??



We did e-SaveTheDates and eInvites. I am a programmer, and I spent *hours* desigining, photographing for, and programming them. It certainly wasn't taking the easy way out in terms of effort, nor was it cheaper - my hourly rate is a heck of a lot more than what I saved by doing them myself.

We made that choice because our invitations were very complicated - pre-ceremony religious festivities, two ceremonies, two receptions, two locations, two menus... We were confident that if people had to sit down, fill everything out for everyone in the family, not lose anything before mailing back we wouldn't get nearly enough responses in the timeline we specified. Besides, many of our guests were overseas, in Israel and India, no guarantees on when we'd get anything back through multiple postage systems even if they did mail them back right away!

As it was we heard only good things. People loved the designs, they loved that they just clicked through and didn't have to worry about it any more, and they loved that they had the option of having info automatically synch to their Outlook/Google calendars as we updated w/ transportation info, etc. If people found them tacky, or felt that they were being invited to a pot luck, it sure didn't get back to us... and boy, I'm very glad I don't know some of the responders in this thread :rolleyes:

Wow. There was no need to take this personally. She asked for our opinions, so I gave mine! Like someone said before, if I got an e-vite I would think about it for a minute, and then move on. It's not a huge deal to me, but I gave her my thoughts on the matter. Good gracious!
 

yssie

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Apologies Novel. My last sentence was unnecessary, and probably derailed your thread.



OU - I confess to feeling this way about a lot of your assertions. I don't care to bootstrap myself to tradition for the sake of tradition or someone else's antiquated ideas of what is 'proper', so we are naturally at odds. Clearly you recognise that someone who made a choice different to what you personally endorse might be offended by your phrasing, and plebian though I may be even I know that statements that merit a "sorry, I'm not trying to be rude" disclaimer are usually just that, and are best reworded.
But hey, what do I know.
 

rosetta

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I'm gonna say I'm not a fan of e-invites (sorry yssie) for very formal occasions. :cheeky:

I too love getting real mail, especially gorgeous stationary. The paper, the script, engraving aaaaah! Its like getting a gift and completely builds the anticipation for the event.

I had a large, formal and expensive black-tie wedding. I had large, formal and expensive invitations. They were so impressive that most of our guests kept them as souvenirs. I wouldn't have dreamt of doing digital invitations for that day. My guests would not have appreciated it, frankly.

This December we are having a huge post- wedding reception. It is not formal. It's in a huge hall that can sit 6,000 people simultaneously. There is a huge rave planned. I wont even know half the people there. There are literally no invitations: it's word of mouth. If an invitation was needed, I see absolutely no problem in doing a digital invite for that. Can't send thousands of invitations and maintain quality anyway!

If anyone gets offended by a digital invitation for an informal event: tough!
 

Novel

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Thanks for the input, everyone! I especially love the concrete ideas about how to do this. Plantable paper, yay! My mom and my FI would both love that so much, I bet they wouldn't bat an eye at the price.

No problem, Yssie. I think that's what is so interesting about all of this wedding stuff - how personal these decisions are. We all come from different places and are having different events.

I think because even though it's a backyard wedding, it won't be truly informal, we probably need to do paper invites to set the right tone. I think we will just do a special RSVP section on the wedsite and that will be it, though. Not that I relish sending invites to Australia, Bulgaria, Austria, and Israel either...
 

slg47

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Novel|1318212660|3036842 said:
Thanks for the input, everyone! I especially love the concrete ideas about how to do this. Plantable paper, yay! My mom and my FI would both love that so much, I bet they wouldn't bat an eye at the price.

No problem, Yssie. I think that's what is so interesting about all of this wedding stuff - how personal these decisions are. We all come from different places and are having different events.

I think because even though it's a backyard wedding, it won't be truly informal, we probably need to do paper invites to set the right tone. I think we will just do a special RSVP section on the wedsite and that will be it, though. Not that I relish sending invites to Australia, Bulgaria, Austria, and Israel either...

I think e-save the dates and paper invites would be fine for a backyard wedding.
 

OUpearlgirl

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Yssie|1318089140|3035969 said:
Apologies Novel. My last sentence was unnecessary, and probably derailed your thread.



OU - I confess to feeling this way about a lot of your assertions. I don't care to bootstrap myself to tradition for the sake of tradition or someone else's antiquated ideas of what is 'proper', so we are naturally at odds. Clearly you recognise that someone who made a choice different to what you personally endorse might be offended by your phrasing, and plebian though I may be even I know that statements that merit a "sorry, I'm not trying to be rude" disclaimer are usually just that, and are best reworded.
But hey, what do I know.

Yeeeowch! I regularly to confess to the fact that I am old fashioned to a fault, but I don't understand the need to bring the claws out. I wasn't stating my opinion as a fact, nor do I think I was coming off as high and mighty for my thoughts. I apologize for coming off as rude in any way, that was never my intention. I was just trying to help a bride with my point of view-- a point of view that several of her guests are likely to have. You can't please everybody, in any situation, but Novel was asking for input.
 

OUpearlgirl

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And Novel, sorry for the threadjack! Back to you! I was thinking about this over the weekend.

If you decide to go the paper route, you don't have to send Save the Dates to everyone on your list. You can always send them to the people who will absolutely have to travel or get off work.

I don't think Save the Dates are a requirement for any wedding, so if you want to do go the Paperless Post route, I think that's perfectly appropriate! I truly hope I didn't hurt your feelings.. I can't wait to see what you pick out.
 

swimmer

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pandora21524|1318010910|3035430 said:
There's a recent Miss Manners column where she agrees that you don't have to include a reply card/envelope but can just request an RSVP and let the guests figure out how to do it. So that would save a little money. If I were doing that, I'd include an RSVP section on the wedding website and make sure the link was on the invite or save the date somewhere. Of course, that might ultimately result in a lot of phone messages to keep track of...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifes...ers-courtesy/2011/09/08/gIQAGnf1zK_story.html

I read that column and though, good luck to the bride! How on earth is she going to know how many people are coming? Yes, people should know how to rsvp, but they also should figure it out about littering, parking between the yellow lines, not picking noses in public, etc. I bet leaving it up to the guest would double the non-response rate. In my wedding experience, not one unmarried straight man was able to figure out how to write on the rsvp card, lick the pre-stamped/pre-addressed envelope, and put it in a mailbox. Not one of the 20ish ones we invited could figure that out, some have phds, several are practicing mds. But that is another topic entirely. :ugeek:

Sidestepping any deeply held feelings about personal decisions to use technology or not, I have found recently that people do not reply to online invitations. I will not speculate as to why, however, I've been to three different wedding related events where the bride or her parents were distraught to find that people had not replied or replied perhaps from their cars in the parkinglot while arriving. So there was no food. I left to go get fastfood during a rehearsal dinner that they thought 35 people were coming to based on the online response. Well there were over 100 people there when DH and I arrived (yes, we had rsvp'd) but there was no food, no alcohol, nothing. This was a very fancy online invite with many layers of responding required. The groom is a programmer and it was lovely. But because it was an in-town event for almost all of us attending (very different from Yssie's situ), many chose not to reply about the events surrounding the wedding, leaving all planning details unknown variables. A morning after wedding brunch was similarly out of food, vodka, and seats for a totally different couple and we had traveled/stayed in a hotel for the weekend. I should have eaten the stale hotel cheerios! Perhaps I'm advocating getting old school here and sending over your footman to request the presence of guests with an engraved card and having him wait there for a response? I don't really know what to do with "guests these days," but order lots of extra food or call non respondents and figure out if they really meant that they are not attending.

Good luck and enjoy the planning!

Oh, I did receive a wedding invite via facebook, but I thought it was a joke. Nope! It was real.
 

Haven

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sillyberry|1318031831|3035651 said:
I think it depends on the forum. Invitations set the tone, so you want it to seem appropriate for the occasion.

Big fancy ballroom wedding with a large budget? I might be surprised by a digital invitation. For a backyard wedding, however, provided it is on the informal side, I think a digital invitation would be fine. But I would definitely work to make it thoughtful and not just a standard run-of-the-mill, fill-in-the-blank evite. Yssie, yours sounds pretty intense (in a good way!)!

I loved my paper invites and wouldn't have wanted to not have them. At the same time, we all have different priorities and different ideas about how a wedding should function. A wedding doesn't *have* to be a formal affair and having an informal event doesn't make the marriage ceremony any less important. Since a mailed paper invitation isn't something I think of a courtesy, and a digital invitation isn't being "cheap" in a way that harms the guest, I wouldn't put it on the "OMG don't do it!!!" list.
Exactly.
 

Haven

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Swimmer makes some really good points.

I was adamantly against including response cards with our wedding invitations because in our little family circle we're a bit old school and we just plain don't include response cards. Everyone we know is well aware that a formal response follows a formal invitation, and when they received our engraved invites in the mail they would know exactly what to do next. Including a pre-addressed and pre-stamped envelope was actually going to offend people, I was sure of it.

Well . . . DH's family has been in this country a bit longer than mine, and they don't do things the same way. DH was sure that all of his guests would assume no response was necessary if we didn't include a response card, and even if we did include "RSVP" on the invite, they *still* wouldn't know what to do.

Our solution was to include blank cards that simply read "Kindly respond by the fifteenth of June" with the invites to DH's guests, and none to mine. And thank goodness we did! Some of DH's guests called him and said that something was wrong with our invitations--there were no little lines waiting to be marked with an X on the response card. OY!

Anyway, I agree that some people just plain need the paper response cards, otherwise they act afool and have no idea how to hand write their own response, address, and stamp it themselves.

And I totally agree on the no RSVPs for evite invitations. I always use evite for our big house parties, and I always factor in an extra ten to 15 adults who just plain won't respond, yet they'll show up anyway. Happens. Every. Time. (I do want to say that these are DH's friends and family members, though! :cheeky: )
 

JulieN

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I just think you should be consistent; whatever reason there is for paper or digital is the same in either case.
 

Novel

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Haven|1318297610|3037428 said:
Swimmer makes some really good points.

I was adamantly against including response cards with our wedding invitations because in our little family circle we're a bit old school and we just plain don't include response cards. Everyone we know is well aware that a formal response follows a formal invitation, and when they received our engraved invites in the mail they would know exactly what to do next. Including a pre-addressed and pre-stamped envelope was actually going to offend people, I was sure of it.

Well . . . DH's family has been in this country a bit longer than mine, and they don't do things the same way. DH was sure that all of his guests would assume no response was necessary if we didn't include a response card, and even if we did include "RSVP" on the invite, they *still* wouldn't know what to do.

Our solution was to include blank cards that simply read "Kindly respond by the fifteenth of June" with the invites to DH's guests, and none to mine. And thank goodness we did! Some of DH's guests called him and said that something was wrong with our invitations--there were no little lines waiting to be marked with an X on the response card. OY!

Anyway, I agree that some people just plain need the paper response cards, otherwise they act afool and have no idea how to hand write their own response, address, and stamp it themselves.

And I totally agree on the no RSVPs for evite invitations. I always use evite for our big house parties, and I always factor in an extra ten to 15 adults who just plain won't respond, yet they'll show up anyway. Happens. Every. Time. (I do want to say that these are DH's friends and family members, though! :cheeky: )

Wow, seriously, "no line for the x"? That's amazing. Can you imagine if you had done the "attend with bells on, attend without bells on" trend thing? I bet you would have gotten calls about bells!

I agree with a bunch of you guys, that the Miss Manners thing is kind of strange. I think people need to be told how to RSVP or it freaks them out. I have no problem saying RSVP at wedsite/RSVP or by phone at (and use a google voice number for that) if we go without a response card.

JulieN|1318360707|3037918 said:
I just think you should be consistent; whatever reason there is for paper or digital is the same in either case.

Julie, do you mean consistent between the Save the Date and invite? That's interesting, it hadn't occurred to me that they should be the same. I was kind of thinking of having my BM Designer design a nice html STDate that will say "formal invitation to come in April" and go with that, if FI is ok with having a non-hard copy STD. I hadn't thought about needing them to be the same format at all...
 

JulieN

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If you want people to put them up on their fridges so that they have a reminder, that's good in both cases, right? Or if you are a paper saver, you should do it digitally both times.

But it doesn't really matter, these reasons are not very important in the long run. As long as when you say "formal invitation to come," you really do mean a formal invitation to a formal event, otherwise the first word should be omitted.
 

amc80

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I think it's important to remember that save the dates are a pretty new thing (as others have mentioned). We sent ours out back in March and sent out our invitations a couple of weeks ago. Some of my mom's friends actually wrote on the RSVP card- "I already told your mom I can't go, I figured she would have told you." So apparently the older generation doesn't understand the STD/invitation later concept.
 

Novel

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JulieN|1318364121|3037950 said:
If you want people to put them up on their fridges so that they have a reminder, that's good in both cases, right? Or if you are a paper saver, you should do it digitally both times.

But it doesn't really matter, these reasons are not very important in the long run. As long as when you say "formal invitation to come," you really do mean a formal invitation to a formal event, otherwise the first word should be omitted.

I like your logic here, it's a good point. Thanks!

amc80|1318368740|3038013 said:
I think it's important to remember that save the dates are a pretty new thing (as others have mentioned). We sent ours out back in March and sent out our invitations a couple of weeks ago. Some of my mom's friends actually wrote on the RSVP card- "I already told your mom I can't go, I figured she would have told you." So apparently the older generation doesn't understand the STD/invitation later concept.

Ha, this is great!
 
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