Did you second guess your gown selection?

[brendaman]

Well, the path to our wedding has had its share of drama, which, with professional help (e.g. rabbi, therapist), will hopefully be worked out.

My sister came for a visit this past weekend to start the wedding gown search. I''ve been to one shop by myself and kind of knew what shapes I like (nothing big and poufy, more A-line or Mermaid). At the second shop, we found an Amsale gown on consignment which seemed to fit me perfectly. It was the first gown I tried on, and I liked it better than the new gowns they had (see attached pic, but please ignore the cheesy bouquet). I really liked the gown and am so comfortable in it. The gown even made my sister cry. So, I bought it! Ten months before my wedding, I''ve got the dress hanging in a closet!

It just feels weird to have found the dress so easily as nothing about this wedding seems to come easily. Now, I am second guessing my decision and wonder whether I should go to a few more shops, just to be confident about my choice. FI is kind of frustrated as he loved the fact that I bought the dress for a nice bargain price (well, for an Amsale) and that I was being "green" by not having a new gown made. In fact, after I use the gown, I am donating it to charity.

Do you think it''s silly for me to go out and try on more gowns? Did you second guess your gown selection?

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

I haven''t purchased my dress yet (i''m getting married in March 2010 too!) but i know that when i do finally order, i wont look again because i will be fearful that i will find something better!!

I think your dress is beautiful and i think it is natural to have the feelings you are having, esp when it is still 10 months away (part of the reason i am putting off my own purchase).

If you really don''t like your dress then look for another, but if you are only thinking about other dresses for the "what if there is something better out there" factor then don''t, i am still trying on dresses because of the ''what if'' thing, but none of them are comparing to the dress i have in mind, one of the first dresses i tried on.

 

[MommaChristine]

I do! I ordered a poofy frou-frou princess dress and really wish that I had gone with something less ballgown and more flowing. I almost wish I would''ve gone with lace instead of beads .. but I''m stuck with it now so I''ll suck it up. I just try not to look at the dresses that I should''ve ordered! My first fitting is in a few days so I''m hoping that I learn to love it again.

I''ve realized that my preferences change randomly - so I think that I''d have second guessed any dress that I would''ve gotten.

 

[FrekeChild]

Yes. I wonder all of the time if I should have gotten a white dress...

 

[Deelight]

Date: 5/30/2009 10:37:23 PM
Author: FrekeChild
Yes. I wonder all of the time if I should have gotten a white dress...

No your dress is awesome , I love it

brendaman From my time on BWW I think what your feeling is what a lot of brides feel however in saying that you look freakin amazing in that dress - BEAUTIFUL , if it spoke to you once it will speak to you again.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Yeah, after I got my dress made, I wondered if I was crazy to be wearing it for my wedding since it''s kind of unusual. And sometimes I flip through magazines and see such pretty, classic white dresses. But then I remember that I like being weird, and I love the ideas behind my dress, and it''s all good

 

[diamondseeker2006]

You look fabulous in that dress!!!!

It is gorgeous and was a good price, too! Lucky YOU!!!

 

[Elmorton]

GORGEOUS dress.

And yes, I did doubt my dress. Multiple times - right up until the last fitting. But when I walk by one of our wedding photos hanging in our house - I''m SO glad I chose the dress I did (and I have a feeling this is how you''ll be, too!).

 

[Blair138]

Yes and no, I had a hard time finding my dress and after I bought it was nervous. I had to stop looking at others, it''s the same with rings, I will always see something I like-Do I like it better? I can''t say, but you have to stop looking at a point or else you will drive yourself mad. If you are really happy with what you got then do not look anymore because you will always see something else you like. My friend who had been married for 4 years wishes she could have had another dress. Doesn''t mean she didn''t love her dress though.

I love yours and you look great in it.

 

[jstarfireb]

Your dress is beautiful!

I definitely second-guessed my purchase, but that''s because it wasn''t my first choice to begin with. I changed it for the groom(zilla), who has very traditional wedding dress tastes and wanted something more "bridal" and less plain. My tastes, on the other hand, are modern and nontraditional - I was initially going for a "destination wedding" style even though I was having a regular wedding. You can read about it in this This thread has a pic of the final result.

Anyway, I think it''s tough buying a dress so early, because there''s a whole lot of time to second-guess your choice...and yes, it will happen. It''s inevitable with all the wedding dresses out there. In my case, I kept looking at wedding dresses while mine was being "fixed" because I didn''t feel mine was right for me until the end. I found one particular dress that I loved and kept referring to as "the one that got away." You may find one you like as much or better than the one you got...but my advice is to stick to your guns! There''s a reason (or several) that you bought this dress. I don''t think you''ll regret it on the wedding day.

 

[Diamond Confused]

FIrst of all I love the way the dress looks on you. I love anything Amsale. Second, i did the same thing; I bought a sample Monique Lhuillier which although beautiful, it''s just not my style. I was sucked in by the amazing price. I had convinced myself that I''d be okay with wearing it but I don''t want to run the risk of hating my wedding dress. It''s my wedding dress, i can''t hate it. I''m going to just take the loss and buy a new dress. I''ll probably try to sell it for half of what I paid on preownedwedding.com

 

[bee*]

I tend to be the type of person that once the decision is made, I''m happy with it so I''ve never second guessed my gown. I think that dress is beautiful and it looks great on you. If you''re happy with it but just want to see if there''s anything else out there, then I probably wouldn''t go and try on more-there are always going to be more beautiful dresses out there so it is difficult just picking one.

 

[merrymunky]

I also found my dress very easily. It was the third dress I tried on in the very first bridal salon we visited. This for me was an amazing feat in itself as I am a plus size (obese) girl. I was totally dreading dress shopping but my mum had a tear in her eye when she saw me in the dress.

I felt like a princess in it.


I do wonder since then if it was the right choice though as I keep seeing all the beautiful dresses here, in the media. I know deep down that it IS the dress for me and I will feel a million dollars on the day. When I look at a picture of it, it looks pretty but not anywhere near as special as it does when I am wearing it! I just have to remember how great I felt in it.

I think dress doubts are perfectly natural.

 

[musincy]

I had doubts too. I purchased my dress the first day I went shopping and got a GREAT price on it. Later on, I started worrying that I''d chosen the dress just because I''d gotten such a great deal, even though I knew I had loved it when I tried it on.

At my last fitting, when it was the perfect size for me, I remembered why I loved that dress so much and I don''t regret the purchase anymore.

One more thing... STOP LOOKING AT OTHER DRESSES!!!

 

[mayachel]

Sometimes, the dress and the bride come together really quickly! And that''s ok. I bet when you put that dress on, you felt like a million bucks. A more beautiful version of yourself, and like you could imagine walking down an aisle in it to your groom. Assuming all these things, push aside the voice in your head saying it all came to easy. It looks lovely on you. Simple, elegant, timeless. Love the drape of the skirt.

 

[laughwithme]

This thread has made me feel a lot better. I haven''t even bought my dress and am already having doubts!

One of my biggest doubts is whether FI will like it (in magazines, anything with lace/beading, he says he doesn''t like that much) and another doubt is that I won''t look "bride-sy" enough without a huge poofy skirt...

...so yes, I think your doubts are totally normal and your dress is beautiful and just don''t look back - it made you cry for a reason! Don''t forget that. I am sure on the morning of your wedding, all those emotions will come rushing back and you will LOVE the dress you picked!

 

[Londongirl1]

Date: 5/31/2009 11:21:00 AM
Author: laughwithme
This thread has made me feel a lot better. I haven''t even bought my dress and am already having doubts!

One of my biggest doubts is whether FI will like it (in magazines, anything with lace/beading, he says he doesn''t like that much) and another doubt is that I won''t look ''bride-sy'' enough without a huge poofy skirt...

...so yes, I think your doubts are totally normal and your dress is beautiful and just don''t look back - it made you cry for a reason! Don''t forget that. I am sure on the morning of your wedding, all those emotions will come rushing back and you will LOVE the dress you picked!

Just the thought of me wearing a huge poofy skirt brings me out in a cold sweat

.

 

[tyty333]

Dont even second guess your dress! That dress is beautiful and it looks great on you!
You look petite and I think sometimes its hard for a petite girl to find the right dress
but I think that silhouette is perfect on you.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

First. I LOVE your gown. It''s very elegant and looks lovely on you.

Second. Yes, I did second guess my gown, but not to the point that I started looking for another one. I think it''s natural to second guess the dress, especially if you don''t have the opportunity to try it on again after buying it. You forget the feeling you had when you put it on that first time. I know I did. I bought my dress on a whim, it was on the 50% off rack, a sample that people we''re afraid to try on (it looked scary on the hanger I guess). I put it on and it took my breath away. My mom and I bought it that day. Unfortunately there was nowhere "safe" to hang it at home so we let the store store it for a few months. We took pictures that day, but the angle made me look like I had a tummy. As the months passed and I looked at the pics I started to really get worried. But then I tried it on again and realized I was crazy.

 

[brendaman]

Thank you, everyone, for your replies and compliments! I kind of thought some of you would have said, "go ahead, go to a few more shops, try on a few more dresses so you can be confident with your dress choice/purchase". I''m very surprised that many of you said, "STOP LOOKING!"

I do love my dress, but I felt that I had to buy it as it had the things I was looking for. Maybe I was just suckered into a fast purchase. The dress just fit me well that I would only need minor alteration. If there is another one out there, I could always re-sell this or just wear one to the ceremony and another to the reception (yea, yea, there goes the $ saved on the dress).

I''m going to by in NYC in a couple of weeks, and I really want to go to a couple of bridal consignment shops for there. Should I or shouldn''t I just look? I''m talking myself into it as I still have to buy accessories and shouldn''t I look at gowns while I''m there????

 

[Diamond Confused]

Ask yourself this-is the dress "you"? If it isn't, you will feel self conscious all night. If it's in the budget, keep looking for another dress. That's the conclusion my FI and I came to. So I wasted $2000 on a dress I don't like and that I'm never going to wear... but that's better than looking back 20 years from now and saying "I didn't like my wedding dress" How much would that suck?!?!

My friend told me to make my dress short and turn it into a very expensive rehearsal dinner dress. Pillow cases was another suggestion

 

[katamari]

Date: 6/1/2009 12:41:22 PM
Author: brendaman

I''m going to by in NYC in a couple of weeks, and I really want to go to a couple of bridal consignment shops for there. Should I or shouldn''t I just look? I''m talking myself into it as I still have to buy accessories and shouldn''t I look at gowns while I''m there????

Should you look? Sure why not. But, should you buy another dress or even consider it an option? I wouldn''t. I think it just opens up a world of trouble. Making wedding decisions is hard enough and if let yourself back out and make new decisions, it will make wedding planning impossible and not enjoyable (trust me, as a completely indecisive bride to be). Everyday on PS, you will see what the other posters have and feel some shoulda, woulda, coulda, but eventually you have to realize that the only "one" you need at the wedding is your FI.

 

[doodle]

katamari put that really well. the whole wedding industry is FULL of nothing but beautiful things, and if you second guess every single decision you make, you''ll wind up never making a decision on anything. personally, i think your dress is GORGEOUS on you, and if you look that damned good in it, why keep eyeballing other dresses? i had my absolute dream dress and still, 8 months after my wedding, i see other dresses and think, "wow! i would''ve loved a dress like that!" you''ll only make yourself absolutely nuts.

 

[Diamond Confused]

Brendaman - did you decide if you are keeping your dress?

 

[galvana]

Hi BM,
I think almost every bride second guesses her gown choice. I know I definitly did.
But finally i came to the realization that we second guess because there are THOUSANDS of beautiful gowns out there, so OF COURSE we second guess. there will always be some gown that is "a little bit better" in some way, that the dress we have.
Your dress is stunning on you by the way.............and I feel that if you go look and actually buy a different one, that in a few months you will see yet another that you like just a little bit more.
Its hard for brides, its our ONE big day, our ONE chance to wear that perfect dress.
But i firmly believe what im saying, there will always be a better one out there.

I hope this has helped in some way

 

[DMBFiredancer]

i didnt second guess mine at all...once i bought mine i was like "phhhewww....one less thing to think about"

haven''t looked back since

 

[DMBFiredancer]

Date: 5/31/2009 4:25:11 PM
Author: tyty333
Dont even second guess your dress! That dress is beautiful and it looks great on you!

You look petite and I think sometimes its hard for a petite girl to find the right dress

but I think that silhouette is perfect on you.

i second this!

 

[brendaman]

I''ve since been to two bridal shops: one really posh one with gowns over $10K; and another with different price points. I didn''t have an appointment, but the shops said I could try on dresses. After looking at the dresses, I didnt'' even feel the need to try any one, which was/is a GREAT feeling. I am however going to NYC this weekend to check out a couple of bridal consignment shops. If I do find something, I would just be one of those two-dress brides.

I do have an appointment at Kleinfeld''s for accessories, but I''ve been so tempted to call them and ask if I could try on gowns, as well. However, after seeing episodes of "Say Yes to the Dress" on TLC, Kleinfeld''s doesn''t really like it if you "play dress up". I know I have my dress, and I''m just looking to see if there is a 2nd one out there. Still, the practical or lazy-to-try-on-yet-another-dress side of me seems to be stronger.

I am petite, standing 5''2", and I''m wearing my FAB, FAB 4-inch Manolos in the pic (see my fab Manolos below). I hope I don''t trip!!

I''ll be here to give you an account of my NYC trip.

 

[brendaman]

Date: 6/8/2009 10:34:51 PM
Author: Diamond Confused
Brendaman - did you decide if you are keeping your dress?

DC: What did you decide to do with your Monique Lhuillier? Cutting it for a Rehearsal Dinner dress sounds like a good idea. I saw one show (I think it was "My Big Fat Fabulous Wedding" or something like that) where the bride bought a Monique Lhuillier and had a change of heart, so she turned the dress to a reception dress by cutting it and having a dressmaker cover it in Swarovski crystals. I thought that was such a waste!

 

[tlh]

you look fantastic in that dress!

I second guessed my choice too... but I think I started second guessing EVERYTHING as the wedding date neared. I think it is a natural part of the process.