Diamond Commitment Phobia

[cushioncut]

We have been searching for the perfect cushion for many months. We found this, which is very very close to what I had in mind (square with large facets), but I'm having a hard time commiting to it. It's not exactly what I envisioned my stone to look like, but I do think it's very pretty. (I pictured an older looking stone, with a higher crown, and less brilliance).

Is it possible that I'm just a diamond commitment phobic, and afraid to make this big decision? Has anyone else experienced this? Any advice?

What do you think of this stone? Please help! Any opinions will be appreciated...

(more photos in this link.)

BTW--it's a 1.78 G VS1, 59 table, 60.9 depth, medium culet, no flor -
7.59X 7.36 1.03 ratio

Thanks for your thoughts!

 

[valeria101]

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On 9/13/2004 1:09:53 AM cushioncut wrote:



I pictured an older looking stone, with a higher crown, and less brilliance.

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You need to ask this to a dealer specializing in old diamonds, IMO.

 

[ame]

WOW Im jealous, it's GORGEOUS! Ill take that off your hands for 30 dollars since that;s all I have

 

[moremoremore]

Huh? You want LESS brilliance? I understand wanted a traditional old fashioned cushion...but do you really want something fugly like this?

http://www.nelsonrarities.com/dir01-12/cushioncut.html

 

[reena]

cc: first off, let me say that i think that the stone is beautiful.

i, too, experienced the diamond committmentphobe phenomenon. it went something like this: i knew i loooooved a particular stone that i had seen (the stone we eventually ended up purchasing) and i kept going back to see it (loved it more every time) and comparing every other stone i looked at to it (no comparison). i had no doubt that i would be thrilled with that stone as my ering stone; my hesitation just came from worrying that maybe it was too soon to buy, i should keep looking, there might be something better out there somewhere, i should compare it to 50 more stones to make sure it really was the ONE. eventually i realized that i loved the stone, and there would always be "another" cushion out there to scrutinize and compare it to. so we went with it, and haven't looked back.

but it seems to me that you're going through something a little different: you appreciate the stone's beauty, but you keep coming back to the fact that this isn't YOUR ideal stone, or the stone that you see in your mind when you visualize your dream e-ring. IMO, if you're not thrilled with it now, when the excitement is at its height, you will never be. send it back and find one that makes your heart stop.

 

[cushioncut]

Thanks everyone.

I agree that the stone you linked me to was ugly!

Well, we have been looking for so long, and we are very anxious to get engaged. Cuhsions are so hard to come by, and especially cushions with large facets, in a square shape. THe truth is we have never seen any stone closer to what I'm looking for.

This stone is more modern than what I had envisioned, but it really is very pretty. It's very bright in certain lights, and all you see is the brightness and not the chunky facets I love, and that is my problem with it.

I honestly don't know what to do. I am at a point where I feel a bit bad sending it back, because I've grown attached, but I also feel nervous when I think of keeping it forever... (commitment phobia maybe?)

On the other hand, like Reena said, I know I'd be very happy with this stone in the setting I've already picked out. It'll be stunning to me, I'm sure. THe question is, should I hold out for the ideal, or just be happy with what I have in hand now (who knows if I'd ever find another stone this close to my ideal).

Thanks for any thoughts. We will need to make a decision by the end of today...

 

[ame]

Well if you aren't happy with it don't keep it. I personally think its just STUNNING.

 

[moremoremore]

The only problem here is that your ideal is not ideal!

Did you check out that cushion on the nelson rarities site? That's a very typical old fashioned cushion. Unfortunately, it's pretty ugly with very bad light return. You need to decide if you like a well cut stone with more brilliance or a poorly cut stone with no brilliance but with the look you like! Also, I would personally only deal with a company where I could upgrade (or return for a diff look down the road)

 

[cushioncut]

Thanks MMM. I the company does have a good upgrade policy, but I don't think that'd be an option for me. The setting I want is going to be custom made for the diamond, and it's a basket -- so it'll only work with a diamond of the same size and shape, which would be impossible to find another with a cushion... And it's expensive so boyfriend would kill me if I ever suggested replacing it!

I am so torn. This diamond offers a lot that an older looking cut wouldn't. It's dreamy in most lights. But it's the crown is not pillow shaped, like most cushions -- it's on the flat side. This is one of the things I love about cushion cuts. On the other hand, this relitive flatness makes it face up the size of a 2 ct cushion, so I am gaining a lot there too. Would a flatish stone drive you nuts, or do you think this is not a big deal in the long run?

Thanks again!

 

[goldengirl]

OOOOOO....

That is a BEAUTY....but if the flat-crown thing, or the too-brilliant thing (crazy, imo!!

) or any other thing really makes you second-guess the stone (not just buying A diamond, but buying THAT diamond), then send it back!

You know the difference...it was when you were dating someone and "weren't sure" about them.. you knew in your heart if it was because THEY weren't right for you, or because the TIMING wasn't right for you. Let your gut guide this decision, too! I know you'll love whatever you choose!!

....but, uh, if you don't want THAT one, I'll top the other offer and give you $50!!

 

[valeria101]

I may well have the strangest taste in the bunch here: I love the one at Nelson's to death. But... these 'crooked' stones with huge see-through culet are not everyone's piece of pie. Some are brilliant, some not. I am sure everyone has seen a pic of the Hope pendant - the side stones are square and pear shaped old mine cuts - it's not hard to like that look

Anyway, aside Fay Cullen, there are a few old mine and european cut stones down HERE. Honestly, it is hard to get those broad flashes (=large facets) of a small stone and still have top brilliance. Two carats is quite allot of diamond, but it may well be that what you wnat is simply a larger cushion, IMO.

 

[fancyrock]

After reading everyone's replies, I don't feel so alone anymore. You might find comfort to know that I am going thru the same thing like you. I have decided twice on 2 different stones and I'm in the process of returning the 2nd stone after showing it to an appraiser and found out it didn't have great light return. I believe I also suffer from "diamond commitment phobia".

So, with that said, I continue to look more and learn more and hope to find one that I really like and be happy with it.

If you 2nd guess on a diamond... You will always have that thought in mind. When in doubt... return it.

 

[cushioncut]

"When in doubt... return it."

The motto of a true commitment phobe!

Thank you for the advice. 2 returns? Any my poor boyfriend thought he had it rough

.

I am so back and forth. At some point, I will have to commit to some diamond. I really have done a thorough search and this is the best I've turned up, by a long shot. And I really don't feel like searching for another 6 mo., or year... especially when we've come so close with this.

What to do. What to do. I think I may need another day or two to decide. (We have till Friday will our return policy to make a decision, even though we'd like to decide before that.)

Thanks for your advice! I appreciate it, and good luck finding your dream stone. What shape are you looking for anyway?

 

[moremoremore]

Call me when you returners go pro...lol...I've returned four to GOG. And yet J manages to be a doll!

Here is what I'm thinking. Talk yo your bf about it. Tell him your reservations so he won't kill you later. I would buy the stone and have it set in a cheap white gold temp setting. You can really experience it then and wear it. If a month down the road you don't like it, return it. That's what I would do. It would be a shame for you to not be sure to later find out it was the 'one'...and have lost it.

There is a lot to be said for size!!! You will be losing quite a big spread when you go deeper. As for flat, eh. I've never seen a diamond I didn't like b/c it was 'flat'...In fact, old miner mentioned that a lot of cushions are cut too steep!

Listen- diamonds are supposed to be brilliant. I do see the old world appeal odf a really antique cut, but no one wants a flat, dull stone. I think it's lovely and will definitely catch a lot of eyes. You'll see!!!

And Ana- I don't believe you that you like that nelson rarities!!!

Kidding...I do see the charm that it might have to some people!

 

[moremoremore]

if it makes you feel better, cushions are even worse than a princess when it comes to buying on line...so don't beat yourself up about not being sure!

 

[reena]

good luck CC, and definitely keep us posted either way. i think your stone is amazing, for what it's worth. (the nelson rarities . . . well that's another story. too bad that fugly puppy is basically the first thing that comes up when you type "cushion cut diamond" into google. we should circulate a petition to remove it.)

MMM: whassup with the cushion? any word? i'm so glad you've come over to the dark side of cushion cuts.

 

[moremoremore]

Well, tomorrow is the big day b/c GOG is closed on monday. I have to go to the inner circle of hell tomorrow (district court, crim. part) so I'll be back to the office around 11:00. Ohhhhl, I'm nervous!!!

 

[reena]

scared about the criminals or the cushion cut?

 

[quaeritur]

OK, just what have I missed in mmm's whirlwind tour of fancy shapes?!?! I thought it was jube all the way, now there's talk of cushion???????

SPILL!!

[Edited to add: fwiw, I think that cushion is just gorgeous, cc. But I don't know the first thing about 'em!]

 

[ame]

Well my thoughts after reading it all day--

Keep in mind that in a couple years you might want this much sparkle.

 

[moremoremore]

hehehehe Q! I couldn't help it. I've always liked them but never thought they were sparkly. Well, looking at all these cushion posts made me change my mind. I'm not posting about it b/c I don't want to jinx it.

But, a few hints. I saw it on blue nile. I loved it. My hubby made a good sale with his little at home business hobby and some $ came my way... I emailed J at GOG. And it's on its way. It was supposed to be there on Sat but I didn't hear from them so I'm assuming it didn't get there or they were busy (you mean I'm NOT the center of the GOG universe? as my husband reminds me lol). It's a modern cushion. It is faceted like a round and like J's H&A square cushions (but obviously not a H&A)...It has a l:w of 1:09. More when I know more later today...lol...Jon if you're reading this, I"m going to hurl....

 

[chrono]

MMM, you never fail to crack me up.

 

[moremoremore]

I bet my cushion isn't coming and bet it's sold.

It never made it's way to GOG.

 

[chrono]

Chin up, friend. It's past noon EST so give Jon a holler right now.

 

[moremoremore]

I did... he was on the phone and I asked him to email me back. I'm sure the supplier never sent it. nothin ever goes my way chrono. nothin.

 

[sparkler29]

cushioncut: my fiance recently purchased my cushion stone from a vendor in the NYC diamond district. He told me that he probably looked at about 40 stones (from several vendors) before he found the one that "spoke" to him. Luckily I was with him that final day and it sure spoke to me too!

I'm sure I would have been thrilled to have whatever he picked, but since each cushion is so different, you really need to see them. If this stone isn't the one for you, don't hesitate to return it. However, it does look gorgeous from what I can see!!!! And like Reena said, there will always be another stone out there - at some point you will have to choose! But don't settle for a stone you don't love. I love my stone so much - it's very sparkly but still has the chunky facets that cushions are known for (it's a cushion brilliant).

MMM - I cannot wait to see what you end up with...a 3 carat cushion from GOG??? YUMMY.

 

[reena]

fear not, MMM! if jon called it, it will come.

 

[moremoremore]

3 carats??? Not me girl. I don't have that kind of stash.

Cushioncut- have you made a decision???

 

[cushioncut]

Thanks Sparkler.

You have to get some close-ups of your cushion for us! You are lucky to have found one that you love. Tell me, can you see your chunky facets when you hold it a foot away from your face in bright light? Or only on closer inspection? These ones are hard to see from far away -- I know in older looking cuts you can see them from across the room..

We have been looking since January, and have seen about 50 stones I'd say, at least. This one speaks to me more than any others, and that is why I'm so hesitant to send it back -- and so torn, even though I have a few reservations with it. I'd hate to think that I'd wait 6 more months, and then settle for something half as pretty to me... Because you're right, at some point I am going to have to choose.

I wish I lived in NY -- sounds like cushions are much easier to come by there. In LA most jewelers have never even heard of them, especially in the diamond district. And bringing stones in online gets expensive after a while, with all of the shipping fees. So, if we don't get this one, I really don't know what we'll do...

Does anyone know if the prices are expected to rise again any time soon? Just curious.

 

[cushioncut]

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On 9/14/2004 12:54:26 PM moremoremore wrote:

3 carats??? Not me girl. I don't have that kind of stash.


Cushioncut- have you made a decision???----------------

Not yet! MMM -- what size cushion are you looking for?