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Delayed gratification is too hard

empliau

empliau

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 9, 2022
Messages
565
I am overall a very lucky person (so far), I know. I went on an amazing pearl acquisition odyssey this year and now have some absolutely lovely pieces that will last me for, I hope, the rest of my life.

My next goal is the Buccellati opera tulle MOP bracelet. But..

(Why does there always have to be a but?)

We're redoing the kitchen - I've never done this, and I knew it would be expensive. New flooring, x$, yup. New cabinets, y$, gulp, yup. Countertops, z$, yup. Sink, refrigerator, stove, range hood. Yes, I know.

What I hadn't done was add x+y+z. Too painful, but it had to be done sometime. The sum equals decades on ban island. Our kitchen dates mostly from the seventies - the refrigerator is over 30 years old, the stove nearly 40. And they aren't in good shape. The floor actually is duct taped from a flood that caused the vinyl flooring to separate and curl. So, redoing the kitchen isn't just some vanity project - a lot of this really needs doing. True, we went with materials and design we loved, which increases the price tag. But we also lived with our shabby 70s Formica countertops - accessorized by matching 70s Formica backsplash! - for eleven years. It's time.

But our lovely kitchen does not leave budget room for Buccellati. Meanwhile (why is there always a meanwhile?) the OTHER bracelet I wanted, which wasn't available before, is available now. At a fraction of the cost of the Buccellati. That bracelet I could get. But then the Buccellati is kicked even farther down the road.

How do you deal with delayed gratification? And FOMO - what if they discontinue the opera tulle line? What do you do to help your brain conquer this?
 
When I saw the title, I thought the thread was about sex. :mrgreen2:
 
empliau said:
I am overall a very lucky person (so far), I know. I went on an amazing pearl acquisition odyssey this year and now have some absolutely lovely pieces that will last me for, I hope, the rest of my life.

My next goal is the Buccellati opera tulle MOP bracelet. But..

(Why does there always have to be a but?)

We're redoing the kitchen - I've never done this, and I knew it would be expensive. New flooring, x$, yup. New cabinets, y$, gulp, yup. Countertops, z$, yup. Sink, refrigerator, stove, range hood. Yes, I know.

What I hadn't done was add x+y+z. Too painful, but it had to be done sometime. The sum equals decades on ban island. Our kitchen dates mostly from the seventies - the refrigerator is over 30 years old, the stove nearly 40. And they aren't in good shape. The floor actually is duct taped from a flood that caused the vinyl flooring to separate and curl. So, redoing the kitchen isn't just some vanity project - a lot of this really needs doing. True, we went with materials and design we loved, which increases the price tag. But we also lived with our shabby 70s Formica countertops - accessorized by matching 70s Formica backsplash! - for eleven years. It's time.

But our lovely kitchen does not leave budget room for Buccellati. Meanwhile (why is there always a meanwhile?) the OTHER bracelet I wanted, which wasn't available before, is available now. At a fraction of the cost of the Buccellati. That bracelet I could get. But then the Buccellati is kicked even farther down the road.

How do you deal with delayed gratification? And FOMO - what if they discontinue the opera tulle line? What do you do to help your brain conquer this?
Click to expand...

those Bucccellati will outlast the new fridge and stove
just saying ;)2
 
empliau said:
It me, as the young people of today say. At my age anyone under 50 is young, so please don't come for me if I misuse it.

Actually that is very like my hair as a child! Only mine was darker. It me indeed!
Click to expand...

I have a jewelry budget that is separate from other expenses. I really like being able to spend guilt-free. I can also go over budget, but then I have to catch up. (I'm usually only all caught up once or twice a year lol).

So if I was just dying to have something and worried it may no longer be available later--- and of course if it wouldn't cause any family hardship--- I'd probably just get it, then do without anything else for a while. JMO :evil2:
 
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seaurchin said:
I have a jewelry budget that is separate from other expenses. I really like being able to spend guilt-free. I can also go over budget, but then I have to do without until I'm even again. (I'm usually only all caught up once or twice a year lol).

So if I was just dying to have something and worried it may no longer be available later--- and of course if it wouldn't cause a financial hardship--- I'd probably just get it, then do without anything else for a while. JMO :evil2:
Click to expand...

I normally would, but with the unimaginable expense of this kitchen hanging over me, I can't imagine doing it. My husband would absolutely not object, but I know him, and the look on his face if I proposed spending this kind of money is not one I would willingly encounter.

And of course the other bracelet would be relatively guilt-free, because it's money that I can spend without drama. But it's also about 1/6 of the Buccellati, so a significant percentage thereof.

Calvin Trillin said his wife Alice operated under what he called Alice's Law of Compensatory Cashflow, which amounts to "we didn't buy that thing for $500, so now we have $500 to spend." I confess that i'm not immune to that reasoning - am I almost 20% of the way to my MOP dreams if I don't buy it?
 
I would take out the pieces I already have, admire them and count my blessings.

DK =)2
 
I am so so bad at delayed gratification, I partly blame being an 80’s kid because we were a rather spoiled generation of kids. Another thing that doesn’t help is being into antique and vintage pieces because it’s the idea that a piece is a one of a kind and may not come around again.

Still figuring out how to conquer my lack of impulse control, it’s a work in progress but I’m getting there.
 
empliau said:
I normally would, but with the unimaginable expense of this kitchen hanging over me, I can't imagine doing it. My husband would absolutely not object, but I know him, and the look on his face if I proposed spending this kind of money is not one I would willingly encounter.

And of course the other bracelet would be relatively guilt-free, because it's money that I can spend without drama. But it's also about 1/6 of the Buccellati, so a significant percentage thereof.

Calvin Trillin said his wife Alice operated under what he called Alice's Law of Compensatory Cashflow, which amounts to "we didn't buy that thing for $500, so now we have $500 to spend." I confess that i'm not immune to that reasoning - am I almost 20% of the way to my MOP dreams if I don't buy it?
Click to expand...

I understand Alice Trillin’s logic completely. Also, you will have saved even more if the bracelet your heart really wants goes on sale after Xmas ( IDK if that is even a possibility) , or you get credit card points for your purchases, or cash back. Also, you could tell your DH that you won’t need any more gifts for ———years, if you get that bracelet. Just call me Enabler #2;)2
 
And, not to go to TMI, but I had a cancer scare this fall. It took six weeks to see a specialist and get test results, but luckily I'm clear. For now - I'm in my sixties, and twenty years ago I entered the "back nine" of life. Where am I now, the back four?

So I have had a brush with mortality, and I want my toy. And I am not entitled to it, and I'll be fine without it, and I'm lucky to have what I have.

Still and all. I know many of you get it. I don't have to be consistent.
 
empliau said:
Still and all. I know many of you get it. I don't have to be consistent.
Click to expand...

Carpe diem.
Tomorrow may not come.
YOLO.
Patience is for pussies.
Cast caution to wind.
Buy the bracelet.
 
My whole life is delayed, I haven't gotten to the gratification part when it comes to things:lol:
I feel for you, I've had a very expensive last winter and summer updating the house. Not even fancy, really.
All repairs that just can't wait and not enough money to go around.

Here I am, realizing I'll have to wait yet another year or more to buy anything for myself.
916429
This is also me, banging on my monitor every time I open Pricescope to be let in. It's the closest I'll get. I live vicariously.
929059
 
empliau said:
My husband votes refrigerator, without hesitation.
Click to expand...

Refrigerators make ice so choose a Buccellati with ice (diamonds), put it in the freezer upon arrival and tell your DH that you love the ice the fridge produces. Voilà problem solved. (My ability to BS is why I have no experience with delayed gratification.)
 
empliau said:
And, not to go to TMI, but I had a cancer scare this fall. It took six weeks to see a specialist and get test results, but luckily I'm clear. For now - I'm in my sixties, and twenty years ago I entered the "back nine" of life. Where am I now, the back four?

So I have had a brush with mortality, and I want my toy. And I am not entitled to it, and I'll be fine without it, and I'm lucky to have what I have.

Still and all. I know many of you get it. I don't have to be consistent.
Click to expand...

could we perhaps compromise on a less expensive fridge and oven ?
 
Daisys and Diamonds said:
could we perhaps compromise on a less expensive fridge and oven ?
Click to expand...

The stove is already ordered, paid for, and here. The fridge has a 50% deposit but won't arrive till February. I am completely locked in for all the costs.
 
empliau said:
The stove is already ordered, paid for, and here. The fridge has a 50% deposit but won't arrive till February. I am completely locked in for all the costs.
Click to expand...

well at least the fridge is half paid for
 
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