Cry-ins, play-doh etc. at colleges

[redwood66]

This is just ridiculous and what comes of raising kids with helicopter parenting and trophies for everyone. These are "adults" supposedly. I would have been told to "rub some dirt on it" and work toward changing it if you don't like it. Did anyone ask for these special things when Obama won in 2008? There were plenty of people unhappy with that election but "they were racist" according to the left.

Snowflakes and these are our future. SMH

http://blogs.wsj.com/washwire/2016/11/09/colleges-try-to-comfort-students-upset-by-trump-victory/

Sh*t. I hope no one is planning to be warm in hell because, as this is the SECOND time I am in agreement with redwood66 on something political, hell has surely reached Absolute Zero (-273°C).

Well, I agree with part of it anyway. OK, break out the play-doh and kleenex, for now. But then it's time for self-reflection: how the hell did we get here? It wasn't enough to just not vote for someone who fanned those ugly flames. And THEN, the realization that we need to aggressively move to effect change should be kicking us in the butt.

Red, it's a false equivalency to state that these special things weren't asked for when Obama won in 2008. If Cruz, Rubio, Ryan, etc., had won, we "losers" would not be in the state we are now. It wasn't like this when Bush won, or when LePage won (twice) in my own home state. (Trump makes LePage look like a statesman!) If you truly can't see the difference between Obama and Trump beyond their political leanings you are either willfully not paying attention or don't think integrity matters.

I actually voted for Cruz and he won my state in the primary because we could not see Trump as President. In the general election I and my husband voted for Evan McMullin because we still could not vote for Trump. However, I was not comparing the men but the reaction and now subsequent protests and riots. Yes riots destroying property, businesses, and causing physical harm to people.

 

[azstonie]

I agree Red. Are they going to cope in the real world with a demanding boss. Or when life does not go their way?

Or are they going to just fall apart.

This is not about play doh and coloring books imo. College is there to transition kids into adults. Not coddle them like children.

College does not exist to transition kids (sic) into adults nor does it exist as job training/vocational education. It does exist to transition sheep into independent critical thinkers and prepare those who seek a profession in academia or graduate school. Both my DH and I have been adjunct profs at the local uni and community college in our community and I can tell you that almost all the students are adult age when they enroll, although their level of skill at admission is comnensurate with what 7th graders possessed 25 years ago.

 

[Maria D]

College does not exist to transition kids (sic) into adults nor does it exist as job training/vocational education. It does exist to transition sheep into independent critical thinkers and prepare those who seek a profession in academia or graduate school. Both my DH and I have been adjunct profs at the local uni and community college in our community and I can tell you that almost all the students are adult age when they enroll, although their level of skill at admission is comnensurate with what 7th graders possessed 25 years ago.

Are you speaking of their academic skills or coping skills? Just curious...maybe you mean both!

 

[ruby59]

College does not exist to transition kids (sic) into adults nor does it exist as job training/vocational education.
____________________________________________

Just sent my third off to college.

And during parent orientation, this was the first or second thing that came out of the speaker's mouth.

We were told that our children are now becoming adults with all the added responsibilities. And one of their jobs is to transition them into the roll.

 

[ruby59]

although their level of skill at admission is comnensurate with what 7th graders possessed 25 years ago.
____________________________________

You can thank helicopter parents for that.

Some actually sat there stunned that they could no longer run interference for their children in case of a problem. And that as adults, the school no longer had to even tell parents if there children did not want them to.

When my middle child went to college she lived there for the first year. Her room mate barely knew how to unpack and make her bed. Her mom always did it.

And in the laundry room more than a few just stared at the washer and driers not having a clue how to use them.

 

[redwood66]

I have to say that the best thing for my sons was leaving home and going into the military from high school. They had to grow up and were on their own but not really on their own. I know going to college at 18 was not the best choice for me because I wasted a lot of time. My one son, who is in college now at 25, is much more equipped to handle it than he was at 18. He is doing so well and even his liberal English professor has substantive debates with him. He is enjoying it now where I do not think he would have before.

BTW we already have free college in the GI Bill, kids should step up and claim it.

 

[Bonfire]

My son (30) and daughter (27) both of whom are married and have started their own families, and both attended grad school, interestingly are bemused by this coddling. They agree that it is doing a disservice to these students. "A trophy for all!" Is not going to prepare them for life outside of academia.

 

[AnnaH]

Spent most of my life with young people and have seen the lengthening of the adolescent period. I see nothing positive in this. Agree that everyone, especially children, should be treated with kindness and should be taught coping skills, things that didn't happen for many on this forum. Many of us have had much to overcome, which is still true for much of today's youth. Many haven't even received a respectful amount of coddling.
It's my opinion that we need to find a positive way to help today's youth become adults before 30 or even 20. Some grow up appropriately, and we need to learn why. I think we all have ideas about that.

 

[Tekate]

My son (30) and daughter (27) both of whom are married and have started their own families, and both attended grad school, interestingly are bemused by this coddling. They agree that it is doing a disservice to these students. "A trophy for all!" Is not going to prepare them for life outside of academia.

My son 29 (engaged with degree in comp sci and math) and my other son 25 (BBS in CIS) (both are computer programmers as was dad and mom).. are not bemused by this coddling, every kid they knew growing up had a helicopter parent(s) in Austin TX. I am unsure where you have lived but the word helicopter parent didn't originate with millenial parents, my niece 36 - who also has a masters went off to grad school in 2002 and sat in a class with a girl who stopped the graduate class and said: Professor my mother wants to talk to you about my grades.. this is a true story, this coddling of kids started earlier than today's kids.

My sons played more sports than I can remember, they always got a trophy, I did explain to them often that winners get the number one and they got it. I believe the term helicopter mother was first mentioned in 1969 according to wiki.

 

[kylier]

Interesting article. I'm glad I read more than just the headline because it is quite a thoughtful piece about the efforts of different schools to provide some sort of comfort to students. It doesn't seem like these events were demanded by the students. Instead, they reflect the efforts of some thoughtful faculty and staff to be compassionate and empathetic to students who were personally affected by having someone who used hate speech against them elected as leader of their country.

I have also found in life that telling other people to just get over things is extremely counter productive. I think when we are tempted to tell others to 'get over it' we should stop and consider why we are so irritated by another person's feelings that we are compelled to tell them to change.

Maybe it's hypocritical to tell someone to 'get over it' because we can't get over them not getting over it.

 

[Bonfire]

My son (30) and daughter (27) both of whom are married and have started their own families, and both attended grad school, interestingly are bemused by this coddling. They agree that it is doing a disservice to these students. "A trophy for all!" Is not going to prepare them for life outside of academia.

My son 29 (engaged with degree in comp sci and math) and my other son 25 (BBS in CIS) (both are computer programmers as was dad and mom).. are not bemused by this coddling, every kid they knew growing up had a helicopter parent(s) in Austin TX. I am unsure where you have lived but the word helicopter parent didn't originate with millenial parents, my niece 36 - who also has a masters went off to grad school in 2002 and sat in a class with a girl who stopped the graduate class and said: Professor my mother wants to talk to you about my grades.. this is a true story, this coddling of kids started earlier than today's kids.

My sons played more sports than I can remember, they always got a trophy, I did explain to them often that winners get the number one and they got it. I believe the term helicopter mother was first mentioned in 1969 according to wiki.

Teaching independence and self sufficiency has many pathways as well as obstacles.

 

[LLJsmom]

Time should have changed. Along with the internet comes the increased access to information and opinion/communication among all. That extends to every aspect of our lives. It's not just information that is shared. It's feelings/opinions etc, and all so easily shared through social media and immediate access allowed through cell phones. So if people are more open to sharing their feelings and not repressing them, in an attempt to "move on", it is no wonder that services are being provided to help people cope. Let's face it. The stoic "suck it up" generation is dying out. That includes me. With my children I am learning to embrace the more open and commutative approach toward life and living.

 

[azstonie]

College does not exist to transition kids (sic) into adults nor does it exist as job training/vocational education.
____________________________________________

Just sent my third off to college.

And during parent orientation, this was the first or second thing that came out of the speaker's mouth.

We were told that our children are now becoming adults with all the added responsibilities. And one of their jobs is to transition them into the roll.

There are many post-high-school institutions out there, this one clearly has found more to do with its students than offer a rigorous course of study. The head of my alma mater used to inform incoming freshmen that about 33% of them would graduate---and he thought that graduation rate was a tad generous

 

[Bonfire]

Expressing feelings is not the problem. I'm not advocating "stiff upper lip" or "just suck it up." This is higher education here. Young adults that seem to be put into a regressive state of maturation is not helping. How about discussion groups and forums to come together and express ideas and feelings? Lean on eachother and learn from one another. Not sit in a corner with play doh like a kindergartner.

 

[azstonie]

I have to say that the best thing for my sons was leaving home and going into the military from high school. They had to grow up and were on their own but not really on their own. I know going to college at 18 was not the best choice for me because I wasted a lot of time. My one son, who is in college now at 25, is much more equipped to handle it than he was at 18. He is doing so well and even his liberal English professor has substantive debates with him. He is enjoying it now where I do not think he would have before.

BTW we already have free college in the GI Bill, kids should step up and claim it.

Ahem, the very public education of which you speak is not free, the social contract provides it through the collection of taxes. I went to a private university, it received public funds in the form of grants to perform research, so very targeted and specific in that respect.

I don't support the children of the poor having to offer up their lives as cannon fodder in order to receive an education. That is an unfair class distinction and is unnecessary in our very wealthy country. Its not how EU countries handle college, btw.

 

[azstonie]

College does not exist to transition kids (sic) into adults nor does it exist as job training/vocational education. It does exist to transition sheep into independent critical thinkers and prepare those who seek a profession in academia or graduate school. Both my DH and I have been adjunct profs at the local uni and community college in our community and I can tell you that almost all the students are adult age when they enroll, although their level of skill at admission is comnensurate with what 7th graders possessed 25 years ago.

Are you speaking of their academic skills or coping skills? Just curious...maybe you mean both!

Hi Maria, they were excellent at coping and delightful to teach, they could not form an independent thought, forget about critical thinking. Pretty much illiterate including in mathematics.

 

[ruby59]

Time should have changed. Along with the internet comes the increased access to information and opinion/communication among all. That extends to every aspect of our lives. It's not just information that is shared. It's feelings/opinions etc, and all so easily shared through social media and immediate access allowed through cell phones. So if people are more open to sharing their feelings and not repressing them, in an attempt to "move on", it is no wonder that services are being provided to help people cope. Let's face it. The stoic "suck it up" generation is dying out. That includes me. With my children I am learning to embrace the more open and commutative approach toward life and living.
__________________________________________________

My son and his wife were upset by the election. But do you think that meant that any deadlines due that week were now cancelled, like exams were in some colleges?

Did that mean you could go to work and wallow?

That is the real world.

 

[redwood66]

I have to say that the best thing for my sons was leaving home and going into the military from high school. They had to grow up and were on their own but not really on their own. I know going to college at 18 was not the best choice for me because I wasted a lot of time. My one son, who is in college now at 25, is much more equipped to handle it than he was at 18. He is doing so well and even his liberal English professor has substantive debates with him. He is enjoying it now where I do not think he would have before.

BTW we already have free college in the GI Bill, kids should step up and claim it.

Ahem, the very public education of which you speak is not free, the social contract provides it through the collection of taxes. I went to a private university, it received public funds in the form of grants to perform research, so very targeted and specific in that respect.

I don't support the children of the poor having to offer up their lives as cannon fodder in order to receive an education. That is an unfair class distinction and is unnecessary in our very wealthy country. Its not how EU countries handle college, btw.

I gladly pay taxes for the "free" education of the GI Bill. I would support college for those less fortunate, which would include me in that less than $125,000 plan of Clinton's, if I could trust the government to find a way to pay for it. But I don't. My sons received more than the GI Bill for their service while serving in the military and they are/were proud to do it.

 

[Bonfire]

We all need to reflect on what kind of example are we setting. Young adults are coming out of college with oppressive debt to jobs that don't exist, or are low paying. They are bombarded with social media messages, some that depict celebrities whining about leaving the country if their candidate doesn't win. "I'm going to take my toys and go home!" What kind of message is this sending? How is this constructive behavior? How is this teaching coping mechanisms? We are "dumbing down" and failing our children. Sure we can be upset. Heck, we don't always understand everything ourselves. I prefer to try and stay optimistic and not blame and shame and degrade others.

 

[nala]

Redwood, I think you hit the nail on the head. The problem with this nation is that we are too sensitive. These damn colleges blind our kids to racism by teaching equality. They blind our kids to hatred by teaching compassion. They blind our kid to violence by teaching peace.
What they should be doing is teaching kids to use guns. To spew hatred at anyone whom they feel is different. To show respect to only those they personally admire.
You and the other Trump supporters and the closet-ones-who-keep-repeating-you- are -not and the anti- Hillary supporters WIN! It won't be a safe world for anyone. Not for the elderly, who will soon outlive their value. No one will be left to help you. Don't expect anyone to be compassionate enough to lift a finger if you are ever in despair. And then of course, adults will only look out for children who look like theirs. We will all prioritize our race first and protect the kid that looks like us. And we will go back to using the word retarded, though I suspect many of you Trump supporters have no problem with that because you know, it's just a word and we all need to get over it. There's a crapload of hate words we can teach our kids to defend themselves with and apparently I'm in the minority for raising a young woman whose never uttered one. Anyhow, she's a quick learner. Yup. We can all pull ourselves up from our bootstraps and start fighting. I guess this is the America that you so fondly recall, you and the other old broads who love to preach to all the millennials how to raise their kids. See, I'm already using slang to insult women. But yeah, you old broads raised some wonderful children and apparently never had to teach them compassion, if you are true to the ideals you keep defending. Get ready for them to put you in a nursing home when you are no longer self sufficient or just abandon you to your own fate. You wouldn't want them to coddle you or nothing.

 

[Bonfire]

Redwood, I think you hit the nail on the head. The problem with this nation is that we are too sensitive. These damn colleges blind our kids to racism by teaching equality. They blind our kids to hatred by teaching compassion. They blind our kid to violence by teaching peace.
What they should be doing is teaching kids to use guns. To spew hatred at anyone whom they feel is different. To show respect to only those they personally admire.
You and the other Trump supporters and the closet-ones-who-keep-repeating-you- are -not and the anti- Hillary supporters WIN! It won't be a safe world for anyone. Not for the elderly, who will soon outlive their value. No one will be left to help you. Don't expect anyone to be compassionate enough to lift a finger if you are ever in despair. And then of course, adults will only look out for children who look like theirs. We will all prioritize our race first and protect the kid that looks like us. And we will go back to using the word retarded, though I suspect many of you Trump supporters have no problem with that because you know, it's just a word and we all need to get over it. There's a crapload of hate words we can teach our kids to defend themselves with and apparently I'm in the minority for raising a young woman whose never uttered one. Anyhow, she's a quick learner. Yup. We can all pull ourselves up from our bootstraps and start fighting. I guess this is the America that you so fondly recall, you and the other old broads who love to preach to all the millennials how to raise their kids. See, I'm already using slang to insult women. But yeah, you old broads raised some wonderful children and apparently never had to teach them compassion, if you are true to the ideals you keep defending. Get ready for them to put you in a nursing home when you are no longer self sufficient or just abandon you to your own fate. You wouldn't want them to coddle you or nothing.

Nala, I wish you peace and tolerance. See you over in SMTB as I hope you will post your latest reset. You shouldn't be embarrassed as you said. We all enjoy seeing them.

 

[ruby59]

But yeah, you old broads raised some wonderful children and apparently never had to teach them compassion, if you are true to the ideals you keep defending. Get ready for them to put you in a nursing home when you are no longer self sufficient or just abandon you to your own fate. You wouldn't want them to coddle you or nothing.

_________________________________________________________

Something about this old broad and the children she raised.

Yes, my husband and I raised them to be self sufficient. When they went off to college, they knew how to make a bed, do their own laundry and even iron their clothes. Each had also worked since age 15 and still maintained grades which put them all in the top 10 in high school and garnered them scholarships for college.

Now as far as their compassion. My son went to a CVS and saw a cat chewing on an old food bag. He was not sure if it was feral or just someone's cat. But it was obviously hungry. He went back into the store and bought it a can of cat food, opened it up and put it in a safer area for the cat to eat. He went back the next day to check up on it to make sure if it is OK but it was not there.

We went to see a play. We had to walk a bit between the parking lot and the building. There was a woman sitting there. She was obviously homeless. All 3 of my children went over and asked if she was OK. One brought her some food, and they all gave her money.

Self sufficient and compassion - it is not one or the other.

Oh and as far as putting me in a nursing home, my mother taught me what I instilled in my own children. Respect. My children will be there for me as I was for my mother until the day she died and will be for my mother in law until that day as well.

 

[redwood66]

Redwood, I think you hit the nail on the head. The problem with this nation is that we are too sensitive. These damn colleges blind our kids to racism by teaching equality. They blind our kids to hatred by teaching compassion. They blind our kid to violence by teaching peace.
What they should be doing is teaching kids to use guns. To spew hatred at anyone whom they feel is different. To show respect to only those they personally admire.
You and the other Trump supporters and the closet-ones-who-keep-repeating-you- are -not and the anti- Hillary supporters WIN! It won't be a safe world for anyone. Not for the elderly, who will soon outlive their value. No one will be left to help you. Don't expect anyone to be compassionate enough to lift a finger if you are ever in despair. And then of course, adults will only look out for children who look like theirs. We will all prioritize our race first and protect the kid that looks like us. And we will go back to using the word retarded, though I suspect many of you Trump supporters have no problem with that because you know, it's just a word and we all need to get over it. There's a crapload of hate words we can teach our kids to defend themselves with and apparently I'm in the minority for raising a young woman whose never uttered one. Anyhow, she's a quick learner. Yup. We can all pull ourselves up from our bootstraps and start fighting. I guess this is the America that you so fondly recall, you and the other old broads who love to preach to all the millennials how to raise their kids. See, I'm already using slang to insult women. But yeah, you old broads raised some wonderful children and apparently never had to teach them compassion, if you are true to the ideals you keep defending. Get ready for them to put you in a nursing home when you are no longer self sufficient or just abandon you to your own fate. You wouldn't want them to coddle you or nothing.

All I can say to you at this point is I wish you the best.

 

[OreoRosies86]

Everyone raised perfect children, so what's the problem?

 

[redwood66]

Response to the protests/riots by a veteran on FB

http://insider.foxnews.com/2016/11/14/black-veterans-video-message-trump-protesters-goes-viral

 

[House Cat]

Everyone raised perfect children, so what's the problem?

Ahem, Elliot...

I absolutely did!

 

[redwood66]

Everyone raised perfect children, so what's the problem?

Ahem, Elliot...

I absolutely did!

Me too!

 

[ruby59]

I am extremely proud of my 3.

 

[AdaBeta27]

We all need to reflect on what kind of example are we setting. Young adults are coming out of college with oppressive debt to jobs that don't exist, or are low paying. They are bombarded with social media messages, some that depict celebrities whining about leaving the country if their candidate doesn't win. "I'm going to take my toys and go home!" What kind of message is this sending? How is this constructive behavior? How is this teaching coping mechanisms? We are "dumbing down" and failing our children. Sure we can be upset. Heck, we don't always understand everything ourselves. I prefer to try and stay optimistic and not blame and shame and degrade others.

First, if anyone goes through college and gets a major that doesn't directly prepare for a SPECIFIC vocation, that person has taken a foolish chance and has only himself or herself and/or his or her parents to blame! When I went to college, I did most assuredly treat it as PREPARATION FOR A VOCATION. I asked "What kind of job does this get me, and how much does it pay?" Then, I asked "Who hires, and where will I have to live." And I stepped right out of college with only an associate degree and went to work earning more than many baccalaureate degree grads.

Second, I somewhat concur with the "dumbing down" assessment, but there are just plain TOO MANY parents who have never, ever, been able to stand up to their kids and say "No." They indulged their kids every material thing and allowed some of those kids to enroll in costly degree programs that, in today's job market, only qualify one for jobs that require only a high school diploma or a GED! For the WWII generation and the leading edge of the Baby Boomers, anyone with any college degree stepped into a decent job and possibly didn't have to work nearly as hard as people do today to keep that job. But by late '70s and early '80s, employers were definitely starting to look for specific degrees and relevant internships and experience. That was 35 or more years ago. So how or why is anyone taking a risk on any college degree that doesn't teach vocational skills and is not a "demand occupation??!" And then to borrow massive amounts of money to get that worthless degree is even more foolish. How is this even happening?! Some people are fools and dreamers and they learn their lessons the hard way, I guess.

re. the results of the elections: If I were running colleges and universities, my response would be that presidential elections routinely occur every 4 years, and colleges and universities do not alter any course syllabus or academic calendar based on results of any election. No need for further discussion.

The military isn't the only way to get job skills and paid training. There are still apprentices in the trades. One can become an apprentice, get paid while training, and obtain vocational skills completely debt-free. Or, one can complete a brief training course at reasonable cost, and then use that vocation to earn money to pay for more education. There was a chemical engineering major who had the lowest-level respiratory tech certification and was working her way through college until her junior year. There are people who work as LPNs or CNAs or phlebotomists while pursing some other major in college.

There are people who transition into college coursework in their junior or senior year of high school and cut time and money off of getting their baccalaureate degree.

 

[Bonfire]

We all need to reflect on what kind of example are we setting. Young adults are coming out of college with oppressive debt to jobs that don't exist, or are low paying. They are bombarded with social media messages, some that depict celebrities whining about leaving the country if their candidate doesn't win. "I'm going to take my toys and go home!" What kind of message is this sending? How is this constructive behavior? How is this teaching coping mechanisms? We are "dumbing down" and failing our children. Sure we can be upset. Heck, we don't always understand everything ourselves. I prefer to try and stay optimistic and not blame and shame and degrade others.

First, if anyone goes through college and gets a major that doesn't directly prepare for a SPECIFIC vocation, that person has taken a foolish chance and has only himself or herself and/or his or her parents to blame! When I went to college, I did most assuredly treat it as PREPARATION FOR A VOCATION. I asked "What kind of job does this get me, and how much does it pay?" Then, I asked "Who hires, and where will I have to live." And I stepped right out of college with only an associate degree and went to work earning more than many baccalaureate degree grads.

Second, I somewhat concur with the "dumbing down" assessment, but there are just plain TOO MANY parents who have never, ever, been able to stand up to their kids and say "No." They indulged their kids every material thing and allowed some of those kids to enroll in costly degree programs that, in today's job market, only qualify one for jobs that require only a high school diploma or a GED! For the WWII generation and the leading edge of the Baby Boomers, anyone with any college degree stepped into a decent job and possibly didn't have to work nearly as hard as people do today to keep that job. But by late '70s and early '80s, employers were definitely starting to look for specific degrees and relevant internships and experience. That was 35 or more years ago. So how or why is anyone taking a risk on any college degree that doesn't teach vocational skills and is not a "demand occupation??!" And then to borrow massive amounts of money to get that worthless degree is even more foolish. How is this even happening?! Some people are fools and dreamers and they learn their lessons the hard way, I guess.

re. the results of the elections: If I were running colleges and universities, my response would be that presidential elections routinely occur every 4 years, and colleges and universities do not alter any course syllabus or academic calendar based on results of any election. No need for further discussion.

The military isn't the only way to get job skills and paid training. There are still apprentices in the trades. One can become an apprentice, get paid while training, and obtain vocational skills completely debt-free. Or, one can complete a brief training course at reasonable cost, and then use that vocation to earn money to pay for more education. There was a chemical engineering major who had the lowest-level respiratory tech certification and was working her way through college until her junior year. There are people who work as LPNs or CNAs or phlebotomists while pursing some other major in college.

There are people who transition into college coursework in their junior or senior year of high school and cut time and money off of getting their baccalaureate degree.

Good post!! Summed it up nicely.