DBM
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Oct 24, 2006
- Messages
- 404
I dunno - if he refused to get anything at all I think good riddance for her to avoid a lifetime with someone unwilling to do something to make you happy. And of course I say that with the assumption he could afford it. I''m not a fan of greedy women, but I don''t think every situation might be a woman who is greedy rather than a man who is stingy. Either way - better a breakup now than later since they''re obviously on different pages.Date: 12/22/2006 8:18:08 PM
Author: diamondfan
I think most guys want to give their girl the dream ring...if they can do so. And I think most women who are about to get engaged are so thrilled that they are happy with what they get. If a woman TRULY broke up with someone over that, then I say good riddance...who wants a wife like that?
Date: 12/22/2006 11:05:33 PM
Author: Cehrabehra
I dunno - if he refused to get anything at all I think good riddance for her to avoid a lifetime with someone unwilling to do something to make you happy. And of course I say that with the assumption he could afford it. I'm not a fan of greedy women, but I don't think every situation might be a woman who is greedy rather than a man who is stingy. Either way - better a breakup now than later since they're obviously on different pages.Date: 12/22/2006 8:18:08 PM
Author: diamondfan
I think most guys want to give their girl the dream ring...if they can do so. And I think most women who are about to get engaged are so thrilled that they are happy with what they get. If a woman TRULY broke up with someone over that, then I say good riddance...who wants a wife like that?
i think two issues are confused here. he could have proposed and worked in her ideas of what she wanted in a ring. this is an issue of no communication and again emphasizes why i do NOT like the surprise route of ring buying. it can blow up in a guy''s face.Date: 12/22/2006 8:53:07 PM
Author: Milly
ditto on what everyone said about the guy being better off without the girl if that happened.
7 years ago when i worked at nordstrom''s fine jewelry, there was a guy that came in to buy an engagement ring for his gf because she gave him an ultimatum and said if he did not propose before the end of the year, she would leave him.
he worked with one of my coworkers and ended up creating a 0.78ct H, VS2 lazare kaplan diamond set in a plat 6 prong tiffany setting. i remember the day the ring came in. it was so beautiful! keep in mind this is 7 years ago. i did not think 0.78ct was small at all, plus it was an ideal cut stone so it sparkled like mad and looked bigger than it''s actual weight.
we all reinforced his decision and said she''ll love it. i mean who wouldn''t? i was certainly in love with it.
the following week, he came back to return the ring. she said she didn''t like it. apparently she hated the setting and the stone was way too small for her. he was very upset because he loved the ring and it was around his budget. she told him to get her at least one carat. i don''t think she understood that the important thing was he did exactly what she wanted and then it blew up in his face.
the poor guy was so sad when he came back and told us his story. after he left, we couldn''t help but think, maybe he shouldn''t propose.....
I know you didn''t.... the only point I wanted to make was that there is such a *fine* line in there.... kinda has to be case by case. My dh was expecting me to go for something about 1/4 of what I spent and bless him that he didn''t even bat an eye when I said THIS IS THE DIAMOND I WANT lol However, a couple weeks later when I made a comment that essentially doubled it yet again he emphatically said, "that will never happen" hahaha We found our balance I guess.... the point where he said ouch but didn''t say it out loud, right? LOLDate: 12/23/2006 8:17:02 AM
Author: diamondfan
I did not say he should not get her anything and that should be okay.
I think that ring is more symbolic over how she values *herself* LOL!! I don''t think rings show the value of a person. But they can definitely have value thatwe give themDate: 12/23/2006 6:03:33 PM
Author: DBM
often times when a man comes alone and is looking to purchase a diamond he''s faced with the issue of getting a nice diamond or getting a nice diamond to her. Whereas I might think an H or I color, or an SI, or a 1 1/2 carat would make for a beautiful ring that everyone could be proud of, often it''s the guys who will insist that it has to be a VS or it has to be a 2 carater. ''she''ll know. she''ll take it to an appraiser and they''ll show her the inclusions and she''ll know''
(as an aside best for those guys to then go down on color,being that color is hard to gauge while in the setting, or going for inclusions on the side which can be covered by prongs. a little sneaky but solves the problems )
it''s quite possible the NY customer base is different but it just seems to me that often there is alot of pressure on the guy to go beyond his means and i was curious how often it''s that tension which disrupts the relationship.
this was one story i thought was a little crazy: the guy had contacted me about getting a 3/4 ct stone and we had discussed it. he then sent his fiancee to the office to look choose from among different stones. Sure enough when she came up i took out some 3/4s and was showing her when she said she wanted to see 1 caraters. I sheepishly mentioned that her bf had said they''d be getting under 1 carat to which she replied (and i don''t think i''ll ever forget this ) -- this ring is a symbol of how he values me and I feel I''m worth a 1 carater'' lol not sure what to take from the story but interesting to mention
i agree the communication did not go well during the process, but i think he was under the impression that she wanted to be engaged to him and would be delighted because he is asking and he tried his best to produce a great ring. unfortunately outside of PS, there are many many couples out there that have this miscommunication when it comes to their engagement ring.Date: 12/23/2006 7:42:25 AM
Author: ladykemma
i think two issues are confused here. he could have proposed and worked in her ideas of what she wanted in a ring. this is an issue of no communication and again emphasizes why i do NOT like the surprise route of ring buying. it can blow up in a guy''s face.Date: 12/22/2006 8:53:07 PM
Author: Milly
ditto on what everyone said about the guy being better off without the girl if that happened.
7 years ago when i worked at nordstrom''s fine jewelry, there was a guy that came in to buy an engagement ring for his gf because she gave him an ultimatum and said if he did not propose before the end of the year, she would leave him.
he worked with one of my coworkers and ended up creating a 0.78ct H, VS2 lazare kaplan diamond set in a plat 6 prong tiffany setting. i remember the day the ring came in. it was so beautiful! keep in mind this is 7 years ago. i did not think 0.78ct was small at all, plus it was an ideal cut stone so it sparkled like mad and looked bigger than it''s actual weight.
we all reinforced his decision and said she''ll love it. i mean who wouldn''t? i was certainly in love with it.
the following week, he came back to return the ring. she said she didn''t like it. apparently she hated the setting and the stone was way too small for her. he was very upset because he loved the ring and it was around his budget. she told him to get her at least one carat. i don''t think she understood that the important thing was he did exactly what she wanted and then it blew up in his face.
the poor guy was so sad when he came back and told us his story. after he left, we couldn''t help but think, maybe he shouldn''t propose.....
if he had gone with her, with an honest discussion of budget beforehand, i bet this would not have happened.
oh yes - certainly! And this is why I wanted to wait.... I knew my dh would extend himself into debt to get me a ring, and I kinda wish he had.... sorta.... but I also knew what I wanted was more than he could afford and I certainly wasnt going to give up a great guy over a ring! I just though I would rather have a plain band than that and a $300 chip. I thought the chip would be embarassing to me. Looking back, it would have been the symbol and not embarassing - so I wish I had it. Then again I am judging that with where I am now - not where I was then. Where I was then was far more petty and less sentimental LOL Oh I dunno - the whole thing sometimes is so goofy to me. The desire for posesssions and such. I definitely have the desire but I question it. I think I''m a walking idiosyncrasy!!Date: 12/23/2006 9:33:35 PM
Author: diamondfan
Cehra, I think that communication and realistic expectations are so key in this process. There is totally a fine line, and sometimes a guy might be seeing or feeling out where his girfriend is, he might be willing to be more generous but hey, if she only wants X and he was willing to go X plus, is he going to go that extra step and wow her or just do what she wants? And if she wants X plus and he can only or will only do X, is there the feeling that later they might upgrade if possible? Trust me in my wildest dreams I never thought I would have a ring that was 10 carats total, never never never, so it happened in baby steps for sure, and maybe couples need to be really clear on what matters. I think I was only saying if a guy wants to give the best he can yet it is so not what she wants, there is an issue there...
Date: 12/23/2006 7:47:46 PM
Author: Milly
i agree the communication did not go well during the process, but i think he was under the impression that she wanted to be engaged to him and would be delighted because he is asking and he tried his best to produce a great ring. unfortunately outside of PS, there are many many couples out there that have this miscommunication when it comes to their engagement ring.
he did not know she was going to be UPSET over the ring. the funny thing is when he came back to try to figure out a new ring, my coworker asked him what his gf wanted and he said she did not tell him because he's 'supposed' to know.i mean is he supposed to read her mind?definitely weird. i don't get why she didn't just come with him or at least TELL him what she wanted.
all she told him was she wanted a proposal. that was the ultimatum and he met her requirements, but then it blows up in his face. we'll never know what actually happened since we only got one side of the story. but my opinion is there are major issues they have to work on before getting married.
hahahaha this cracked me up you have no idea!! I did this when we got married... I told my husband he couldn''t afford what I wanted so we should just wait until *later* when we could afford something more but I *secretly* wanted him to surprise me with something, anything.... and he didn''t of course. I was so disappointed he took me literally lol!! I learned early on I have to take a direct approach with him.... and it STILL disappoints me when he has no clue what I want or like even if I''m soooooooooo clear with him - but he has other ways in which he intuits so all''s wellDate: 12/27/2006 12:59:30 PM
Author: codex57
Yeah, lack of communication is actually quite common. I''ve seen lots of couples where the girl says ''he should know'' in regards to the gift. Thankfully, I don''t know any girls that have said that in terms of the ring, but I''ve seen it for b-day presents, Valentine''s day, etc.
Yes, it''d be nice if the guy could pay super close attention and divine the girl''s true wish based on offhand comments or looks she gives to items related to it. The reality is, that''s not gonna happen the great majority of the time. You need to COMMUNICATE and give some more obvious hints at least. Sadly, a lot of girls out there have this overinflated idea of how intuitive a guy can be. And a lot of these girls I know are so materialistic and look at so much crap, there''s no way in hell you can figure out what the hell they really want. How do I know? Cuz when their girlfriends (who apparently have more practice reading the ''subtle'' cues) can''t figure out what those girls want, then there''s no way the b/fs will.
The regulars who post on PS are what I would hope are ''regular'' girls, but they seem to be decreasing into the minority nowadays. I feel like an old fogie reminiscing about the good old days, and I''m only 28.
Date: 12/27/2006 2:48:23 PM
Author: strmrdr
there is an entire series o threads about how a dog got 100k ring the guy spent months on cuz it wasnt good enough for his lady untll it was 2 late.
she came on here begging him to give it too her.
Date: 12/27/2006 5:18:34 PM
Author: ltl
Date: 12/27/2006 2:48:23 PM
Author: strmrdr
there is an entire series o threads about how a dog got 100k ring the guy spent months on cuz it wasnt good enough for his lady untll it was 2 late.
she came on here begging him to give it too her.
Allycat - here you go
https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/when-youre-in-the-dog-house.15206/
https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/am-i-being-a-brat.14158/page-3
the dog did.Date: 12/27/2006 6:20:09 PM
Author: codex57
Date: 12/27/2006 5:18:34 PM
Author: ltl
Date: 12/27/2006 2:48:23 PM
Author: strmrdr
there is an entire series o threads about how a dog got 100k ring the guy spent months on cuz it wasnt good enough for his lady untll it was 2 late.
she came on here begging him to give it too her.
Allycat - here you go
https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/when-youre-in-the-dog-house.15206/
https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/am-i-being-a-brat.14158/page-3
Alright, I know we don''t know the whole story and what she was ''going through'' at that time, but based on what I''ve read and her username, I hope the dog kept the ring.
I think the girls that are hung up more on the ring than their future life partners never knew true love.
Okay, did you guys read the second link. Well I read it. This girl was upset she had a 1.27 carat and then somehow in some other link she had she said it was stolen. Then her FI got her a much bigger diamond. Unbelievable!!!Date: 12/27/2006 6:31:30 PM
Author: strmrdr
the dog did.Date: 12/27/2006 6:20:09 PM
Author: codex57
Date: 12/27/2006 5:18:34 PM
Author: ltl
Date: 12/27/2006 2:48:23 PM
Author: strmrdr
there is an entire series o threads about how a dog got 100k ring the guy spent months on cuz it wasnt good enough for his lady untll it was 2 late.
she came on here begging him to give it too her.
Allycat - here you go
https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/when-youre-in-the-dog-house.15206/
https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/am-i-being-a-brat.14158/page-3
Alright, I know we don''t know the whole story and what she was ''going through'' at that time, but based on what I''ve read and her username, I hope the dog kept the ring.
Interesting. Maybe the NY market is a little different -- especially when there''s the diamond district and lots of finance industry.Date: 12/23/2006 6:03:33 PM
Author: DBM
often times when a man comes alone and is looking to purchase a diamond he''s faced with the issue of getting a nice diamond or getting a nice diamond to her. Whereas I might think an H or I color, or an SI, or a 1 1/2 carat would make for a beautiful ring that everyone could be proud of, often it''s the guys who will insist that it has to be a VS or it has to be a 2 carater. ''she''ll know. she''ll take it to an appraiser and they''ll show her the inclusions and she''ll know''
(as an aside best for those guys to then go down on color,being that color is hard to gauge while in the setting, or going for inclusions on the side which can be covered by prongs. a little sneaky but solves the problems )
it''s quite possible the NY customer base is different but it just seems to me that often there is alot of pressure on the guy to go beyond his means and i was curious how often it''s that tension which disrupts the relationship.
this was one story i thought was a little crazy: the guy had contacted me about getting a 3/4 ct stone and we had discussed it. he then sent his fiancee to the office to look choose from among different stones. Sure enough when she came up i took out some 3/4s and was showing her when she said she wanted to see 1 caraters. I sheepishly mentioned that her bf had said they''d be getting under 1 carat to which she replied (and i don''t think i''ll ever forget this ) -- this ring is a symbol of how he values me and I feel I''m worth a 1 carater'' lol not sure what to take from the story but interesting to mention