Conflicted over "Santa" Myth...

[D&T]

I love that idea of phasing Santa out by having mommy and daddy be the delivery person on gifts- I never thought about it, until now. Great thread!

 

[swingirl]

If you don't want to have your kids take Santa too seriously DON'T

-have them make a gift list for Santa
-take them to sit on Santa's lap
-tell that they have to be good to get presents
-tell them Santa comes through the chimney, flies around in a sleigh and has elves make all the presents

The kids who take the news hard were probably encouraged in many ways to believe the myth. If you don't go overboard it won't be so important to them. And as they get older you can talk more about the giving spirit and that St Nick lived many years ago and he started the wonderful tradition of giving gifts to people we love.

 

[Cind11]

I realize that you want to phase out Santa. But I wanted to tell you that I have very fond memories of listening for the reindeer's hooves on our roof on Christmas Eve, visiting Santa (I thought the Santas at the malls were helpers), leaving out cookies and milk, reading "Twas the Night before Christmas" and some other traditions associated with believing. I found out when I was eight that there was no Santa and certainly never thought my parents "lied" to me. I was disappointed but not resentful in any way. My own daughters do not seem to hold their belief as children against me. I think Santa makes Christmas that much more magical for a child. And at that age, it is all about the magic. I don't know. I just find it hard to believe that the majority of kids are traumatized by the Santa myth. I guess you know your own child and her reactions so obviously you should do what you think best.

 

[ksinger]

Date: 11/29/2009 12:57:29 AM
Author: Cind11
I realize that you want to phase out Santa. But I wanted to tell you that I have very fond memories of listening for the reindeer''s hooves on our roof on Christmas Eve, visiting Santa (I thought the Santas at the malls were helpers), leaving out cookies and milk, reading ''Twas the Night before Christmas'' and some other traditions associated with believing. I found out when I was eight that there was no Santa and certainly never thought my parents ''lied'' to me. I was disappointed but not resentful in any way. My own daughters do not seem to hold their belief as children against me. I think Santa makes Christmas that much more magical for a child. And at that age, it is all about the magic. I don''t know. I just find it hard to believe that the majority of kids are traumatized by the Santa myth. I guess you know your own child and her reactions so obviously you should do what you think best.

Oh amen to that. I can''t believe this thread has gone as long and as seriously as it has. Of all the things that send one into years of therapy, I doubt seriously that finding out Santa isn''t real, is one of them. Just because we can remember how we felt at a particular moment in childhood - disappointment, grief, whatever, doesn''t mean that it was significant in the grand scheme of things. The pains - mostly small - of growing up, are part of childhood. Divorcing parents? Abuse? Living in a car? Those are real childhood killers. Finding out Santa''s not real? Not so much.

 

[Diamond*Dana]

Personally, I have no problem with my kids believing...my 9 year old found out the truth recently and he does not feel betrayed or angry. He has not said that we "lied" to him. I remember believing when I was a child, and it was so magical! I do not, however, remember how or when I found out the truth. I will let my kids go on believing as long as they want to...I certainly do not want to ruin something so magical and exciting for them!

 

[ericad]

Date: 11/29/2009 8:46:30 AM
Author: ksinger

Date: 11/29/2009 12:57:29 AM

Author: Cind11

I realize that you want to phase out Santa. But I wanted to tell you that I have very fond memories of listening for the reindeer's hooves on our roof on Christmas Eve, visiting Santa (I thought the Santas at the malls were helpers), leaving out cookies and milk, reading 'Twas the Night before Christmas' and some other traditions associated with believing. I found out when I was eight that there was no Santa and certainly never thought my parents 'lied' to me. I was disappointed but not resentful in any way. My own daughters do not seem to hold their belief as children against me. I think Santa makes Christmas that much more magical for a child. And at that age, it is all about the magic. I don't know. I just find it hard to believe that the majority of kids are traumatized by the Santa myth. I guess you know your own child and her reactions so obviously you should do what you think best.

Oh amen to that. I can't believe this thread has gone as long and as seriously as it has. Of all the things that send one into years of therapy, I doubt seriously that finding out Santa isn't real, is one of them. Just because we can remember how we felt at a particular moment in childhood - disappointment, grief, whatever, doesn't mean that it was significant in the grand scheme of things. The pains - mostly small - of growing up, are part of childhood. Divorcing parents? Abuse? Living in a car? Those are real childhood killers. Finding out Santa's not real? Not so much.

Ummmm, ok, LOL, thank you for my daily dose of judgment. The topic of this thread is that we are looking for ideas on HOW to phase out Santa. Our decision is made and based on many reasons (if you take the time to read my posts). Do you have any helpful suggestions for my family, or are you just here to ridicule a topic that is relevant to me and my family? Do you have a highly sensitive child? Were you one? If not, I don't expect you to understand but please be respectful.

And please do not make nonsensical comparisons of the Santa myth to abuse or homelessness. I find it in poor taste. No one on this thread has ever suggested that the majority of kids are traumatized by this, in fact we've all said the opposite - it's the exception, but does occur.

 

[ericad]

Date: 11/28/2009 7:30:33 PM
Author: swingirl
If you don''t want to have your kids take Santa too seriously DON''T


-have them make a gift list for Santa

-take them to sit on Santa''s lap

-tell that they have to be good to get presents

-tell them Santa comes through the chimney, flies around in a sleigh and has elves make all the presents


The kids who take the news hard were probably encouraged in many ways to believe the myth. If you don''t go overboard it won''t be so important to them. And as they get older you can talk more about the giving spirit and that St Nick lived many years ago and he started the wonderful tradition of giving gifts to people we love.

Thank you, this is helpful. We will lessen the focus on Santa as a real physical person, and emphasize him as an idea and a feeling. Last night I mentioned that this year she will have presents from us and Santa, because as kids get older, mom and dad take over doing the presents. Quick as a whip she said, "Oh, because the world is so big so Santa needs help from the moms and dads, right?" Ummm, YES, baby, let''s go with that!