committment issues

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 9/25/2006 9:15:48 PM
Author: Christa

Date: 9/25/2006 7:20:31 PM
Author: Cehrabehra

ooooh close enough! we could meet in powells... I wonder how the light there is bahahahahaha

Ooh, good question. I haven''t been there since before I got totally obsessed with diamonds. I was at Olive Garden today and all those little lightbulbs made my ring so sparkly I had trouble concentrating on my zuppa tuscana.

I truly have no idea how I''m going to be able to wear this ring every day and not be gossiped about behind my back "do you see how she''s constantly staring at it? we all GET it sara, you got a big rock, get over it!" LOL

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 9/25/2006 10:24:13 PM
Author: Sophie
Cehra,
I am so sorry that you are feeling so weighed down in this process.

I have said a couple times in different threads, that sometimes finding PS has been a bad thing for me. Do I enjoy looking at the totally gorgeous rocks here, large and small?? um, yeah. But when I got here last October, looknig for info to upgrage my ring, I had to think about my choice. I went up in size, and down to a J in color, and not that great of a cut. While I know that it looks white in almost all lighting situtions and ''sparkles'' I know that sometimes I wish, wish it had a better cut to sparkle more. Enough to change it? Nah. I get so many compliments, especially bc 1.5 carats is huge around here (aren''t I lucky!)

I also knew that making this upgrade would be IT for this ring. Hubby agreed to this upgrade, but probably wouldn''t be too eager to do this again.

I know you are interested in making this an heirloom piece, but I have a thought. And, I do hope this won''t further worry you. What if, no matter how hard you work to choose every detail, when your daughter inherits it, it may not be her taste and she may want to change it??

I guess you need to come to terms with knowing that it may not always be the perfect setting. Our tastes do change...Decorating changes in our homes, cars, etc...

I think you should take a step back and ask yourself what is it that you want to see in this ring most, a big rock with some little bling on the side, or a big ring that just screams attention.

I am sorry you feel disconnected on this site. Honestly, I am not educated enough in the angles and specs of things so I don''t usuallyy chime in to those threads.. I am more of an asthetics kind of gal.

I live in Ontario, Canada and I wish I was in Portland, I would gladly meet you for a coffee and talk rings...and life!!!

good luck and here is a big hug from me, your PS friend, Sophie!

Wow, another totally sweet post Thank you! Angles and specs don''t mean anything on my ring. And I have to keep telling myself that, there IS no "ideal" old mine cut lol I wish we could sit for coffee too, in fact right this moment I''d settle just for the coffee LOL ::blinkblinkyawn:: why did I want summer over again??

My husband is convinced that after a month of wearing it I''ll lose interest and it will just be a ring I wear that I occasionally look at, like a piece of clothing or like my wedding band. I don''t think he has a *clue* but I know he is at least a little right. Life will move on... the ring will get dirty on occasion... and it won''t always be such a focus. It would have been nice to have this done before the kids went back to school so I had more time to do other things right now... but... anyway... thank you for the sweet reply

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 9/26/2006 12:25:41 AM
Author: divergrrl
Cehra...I''m in Portland too! Well, suburb south of portland. Ya know...close to LO.

If you wanna meet up for coffee and vent, I live a parallel life to you...setting anxiety...3 resets later still having issues.

who knows..combining our neuroses could be dangerous. Make it a martini.

Jeannine

ahhhhh.... we could meet up at WSM in T Howdy neighbor!! I''m in H west of A and B and east of C LOL Okay that sounds funny... hehehehe

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 9/26/2006 1:08:29 AM
Author: Christa
Hey, I thought everyone here was in Cali or Canada!

Any more Portlanders?

Three people woooo!!!! LOL Hey, it''s two more than I thought there were yesterday!!!

 

[Christa]

Date: 9/26/2006 11:18:27 AM
Author: Cehrabehra

Date: 9/26/2006 12:25:41 AM
Author: divergrrl
Cehra...I''m in Portland too! Well, suburb south of portland. Ya know...close to LO.

If you wanna meet up for coffee and vent, I live a parallel life to you...setting anxiety...3 resets later still having issues.

who knows..combining our neuroses could be dangerous. Make it a martini.

Jeannine

ahhhhh.... we could meet up at WSM in T Howdy neighbor!! I''m in H west of A and B and east of C LOL Okay that sounds funny... hehehehe

OK, I know what LO is, but now I''m totally lost. I feel so left out way out here on the east side!

 

[Cehrabehra]

omg I feel totally panicy today... totally questioning my stone again - ugh!! I found this brooch in my mom''s crap today and took it outside and was like WOW look at those flares!! ugh... of course it''s a round brooch with 18 graduated round czs with I think coating to make them really pop, but still... panic grips my heart - am I making a mistake? I try to console myself with, well even if it is like the emperor''s clothes and so far only you''ve seen the beauty in this ring and everyone else is going to think it''s an ugly dog, it''s still big right @@ but that''s not comforting... I honestly don''t know what I''m expecting. It''s ridiculous. Every time I''ve gone looking at stones, other diamonds, it''s done just *fine* in the same lighting etc. Two ex GIA graders were truly loving the stone, genuinely... and yes there is better out there but I cannot afford it, period, no matter how much $$ we ever have I will NEVER have a husband who will spend 60k on a ring - ever. ever ever ever. Period.

WTF is my problem? I STG I am gripped with such panic some moments that I just want to send this stone back and not even get another one, like the whole thing isn''t worth it and my plain gold band is truly all I need, which is true. It is all I NEED.

 

[FireGoddess]

SNAP OUT OF IT! *smack*smack*

Sometimes tough love is the best kind.

Seriously - the stone is gorgeous. It takes a strong girl to love something and know that there are no superduperideal specs for it and that''s OKAY. More than okay. Let the panic ease its grip off your heart. For real.

 

[Christa]

So . . . you''re comparing it to cz''s now? I''m sure you could afford an enormous cz with big chunky facets, if that''s what you want. In fact I saw some at Claire''s the other day for like 6.99.

Come on, it''s time to set that thing and start loving it!

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 9/26/2006 6:41:55 PM
Author: Cehrabehra
I STG I am gripped with such panic some moments that I just want to send this stone back and not even get another one, like the whole thing isn''t worth it and my plain gold band is truly all I need, which is true. It is all I NEED.

Do it. Return it. Who needs this kind of drama in their life? *OR* ask yourself if this is *really* about a stone or a ring or ... something else entirely.

What are you trying to avoid thinking about?

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 9/26/2006 6:54:06 PM
Author: FireGoddess
SNAP OUT OF IT! *smack*smack*

Sometimes tough love is the best kind.

Seriously - the stone is gorgeous. It takes a strong girl to love something and know that there are no superduperideal specs for it and that''s OKAY. More than okay. Let the panic ease its grip off your heart. For real.

LOL I defer to your expertise! From one fancy girl to another, you certainly make a point! (owie lol) You''re right though... but I have to say - where else can I let this anxiety out but here?

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 9/26/2006 7:12:48 PM
Author: Christa
So . . . you''re comparing it to cz''s now?

worse than that... 18 of them LOL I never said I wasn''t an idiot! "These 18 are sparkling more than mine" well yeah duh.

 

[upgrading mama]

oh hun, don''t second guess it, it''s a gorgeous stone. (as far as I can tell, hehee)

TIme to set?
or maybe work on buying a new hanbag or winter coat or something...something to take your mind off it a little.. have you got a room that needs redecorating??

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Poor Cehra...I know how hard it is! I did set my stone in a very simple setting because I absolutely couldn''t find anything I loved enough to pay 10 times more for! I do love the Memorire band, though. Just hang in there. I''m not sure why you''re having the doubts about the stone. It did give me some peace knowing that mine can be traded in at any time.

Anyway, it''s really late here and I need to get to bed. Just wanted to say hello and remind you that many of us have had uncertainty about this decision because it is a big expense and you want to get something you''d love forever. Just use this thread and vent when you need to!

 

[3hearts]

ohh...Cehrabehra, I can totally relate to how you feel, but your stone is beautifully huge and sparkly

no reason to doubt it. If you want to wear it now, set it in a simple solitaire until you find something you really love.

Take a break and step away from looking at settings and enjoy the stone in a simple setting and one day you will find the setting of your dreams.

keep us posted

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 9/27/2006 12:38:52 AM
Author: 3hearts
ohh...Cehrabehra, I can totally relate to how you feel, but your stone is beautifully huge and sparkly

no reason to doubt it. If you want to wear it now, set it in a simple solitaire until you find something you really love.

Take a break and step away from looking at settings and enjoy the stone in a simple setting and one day you will find the setting of your dreams.

keep us posted

we could just trade rings for a while... I''m sure that would make me feel TONS better

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 9/26/2006 11:32:10 PM
Author: diamondseeker2006
Poor Cehra...I know how hard it is! I did set my stone in a very simple setting because I absolutely couldn''t find anything I loved enough to pay 10 times more for! I do love the Memorire band, though. Just hang in there. I''m not sure why you''re having the doubts about the stone. It did give me some peace knowing that mine can be traded in at any time.

Anyway, it''s really late here and I need to get to bed. Just wanted to say hello and remind you that many of us have had uncertainty about this decision because it is a big expense and you want to get something you''d love forever. Just use this thread and vent when you need to!

I think it would give me peace to know mine *could* be traded in... and then of course I never would LOL

I spoke with my dh tonight... he is part of the problem. He really wants this for me, from him, but... I''ve kind of taken over, taken control... and long story short I can''t really have my cake and eat it too. And the pressure of everything being so final is freaking me out. I think my freakout today was the last minute jitters because tomorrow is the last day to send it back and realistically it would have been today. By this weekend I should be fine lol

I talked to him again about waiting five years or whatever and it is one of the few things he is absolutely adament about. He wants me to get exactly what I want and get it done ASAP. He says he misses me. Awwwww ::thwap:: LOL But the options are endless LOL I do have some time... I need to relax... maybe I''ll give him the stone and tell him to hide it for a few days... LOL

 

[Stone Hunter]

Oh Cehra I''m sorry you''re having such a rough time.

I too take a long time to make a decision but am usually good once I make it. For me the problem is that I drag out the time I take to make the decision and agonize over it until the time is up and I have to decide. I just can''t make a quick choice and not look back. Sounds like that may be what you''re doing.

Having the pressure to decide on a setting RIGHT NOW would push me over the edge. But it should make it easier because it would shorten the agony!

I don''t know if anyone can really help you with this. It may be a personality thing. But please post here to vent rant and rave. I am interested in your diamond search and now your setting search and I am sure others are too.

My friends also don''t want to talk diamonds and probably think I''m crazy, but people on PS do want to talk diamonds.

So just keep posting.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 9/27/2006 1:06:55 AM
Author: Stone Hunter
Oh Cehra I''m sorry you''re having such a rough time.

I too take a long time to make a decision but am usually good once I make it. For me the problem is that I drag out the time I take to make the decision and agonize over it until the time is up and I have to decide. I just can''t make a quick choice and not look back. Sounds like that may be what you''re doing.

Having the pressure to decide on a setting RIGHT NOW would push me over the edge. But it should make it easier because it would shorten the agony!

I don''t know if anyone can really help you with this. It may be a personality thing. But please post here to vent rant and rave. I am interested in your diamond search and now your setting search and I am sure others are too.

My friends also don''t want to talk diamonds and probably think I''m crazy, but people on PS do want to talk diamonds.

So just keep posting.

Thank you At least after tomorrow the diamond part will be O-V-E-R so yay on that LOL I''m going to try (hehe try) to lay low for a day or two and think about other things... make a list of what I want from the ring and see what the designer is coming up with. I have to say the head is pretty much perfect. Of all the settings I looked at, plain and detailed, only one type looked good... but I still wonder if melee will take too much from the center stone. Baguettes don''t pack a lot of sparkle punch so they shouldn''t I don''t think...

 

[FireGoddess]

Oh absolutely - this is the best place to obsess about these things! Don''t take my comment to mean that we don''t want to hear about it.

LOL.

I do recognize some of what you are saying and that''s why I told you to snap out of it...having a fancy shape myself and sometimes getting obsessed with round superideal specs in comparison to the somewhat loose guidelines for fancies (stones outside the parameters can still look amazing) can drive a girl mad!! What if there''s better and I''m settling? What if this was *the one* and I second guessed it and now it''s gone? I know how it feels, not to mention even trying to start thinking about SETTINGS!!! But one thing at a time. The stone first.

 

[Christa]

Cehra, I love the avatar! I''m having chunky-facet envy.

How much is your husband contributing to the decision-making process on your setting? Since you said you know you''ll love whateverit is when it''s done, how about letting him take over part of the setting designing? Might make it feel more like a gift from him again rather than just your crazy obsession.

I''ve lost track of where you''re at in the whole process, so if this doesn''t apply at all, just ignore me.

Divergrrl, I appreciate you and Cehra associating with my eastside self. I''m honored.

I did a PS search for Portland looking for others of us, but didn''t find much. Anyone else out there? We may need your help visiting Cehrabehra in the diamond psychosis ward of the funny farm . . .

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 9/27/2006 1:57:48 AM
Author: FireGoddess
Oh absolutely - this is the best place to obsess about these things! Don''t take my comment to mean that we don''t want to hear about it.

LOL.

I do recognize some of what you are saying and that''s why I told you to snap out of it...having a fancy shape myself and sometimes getting obsessed with round superideal specs in comparison to the somewhat loose guidelines for fancies (stones outside the parameters can still look amazing) can drive a girl mad!! What if there''s better and I''m settling? What if this was *the one* and I second guessed it and now it''s gone? I know how it feels, not to mention even trying to start thinking about SETTINGS!!! But one thing at a time. The stone first.

Oh I wasn''t offended by you FG I know I can have my whiney moments, but good news is once the ring is done I''ll just be my normal self yay lol What if there''s better and what if I''m settling has definitely been a part of it... Another part has been shape vs performance. I hear so much about rounds I just assume they must perform better but I haven''t found one yet that did... not that mine is better, they''re just kinda different but the same. And that''s comparing stones of at least 2.5 c and I can''t afford those anyways LOL I think another part of it is I got this for such a good price there must be SOMETHING wrong with it.... LOL My gut tells me this is it. My gut hasn''t wavered. My gut heard this stone calling from far away. My gut is settled. It''s my dang HEAD that is getting in the way!!!!

Part of it is that there is another setting that I *love* love love love and think would be more appropriate for my marriage LOL but it would involve turning this stone in and getting a 1 carat round LOL The ring I have in my head (I wish someone else would do it so I could live vicariously) is that at the top you have a 1 carat and it is an eternity band BUT the opposite of the 1 carat is a 1 pointer and all of the stones are graduated between them. Eternity is sweet and all that, but after 15 years of marriage I understand that it is more like what I describe with zeniths and rock bottoms and lots of variance in between. A continuous cycle but including the ups and downs of marriage... even after all these years there are moments of intense love like those when we were dating... and there are moments of intense how the hell am I going to spend another 40 years with you? I suppose if he was in the dog house I could wear it with the 1 pointer face up rofl!!! Anyway... that''s part of it... I love this ring idea and it fits us to a T I think. Maybe someday I can convince him that I ALSO need an eternity band. Yeah right! But if I went for that other band I''d have a ton of rounds and no main stone really, though I think a 1 carat should suffice, right? LOL See? Okay that''s the problem... and after today I''ll be resolved that the other ring isn''t going to happen... oh wait... oooh maybe he''d go for a fakey of that LOL

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 9/27/2006 11:13:22 AM
Author: Christa
Cehra, I love the avatar! I''m having chunky-facet envy.

How much is your husband contributing to the decision-making process on your setting? Since you said you know you''ll love whateverit is when it''s done, how about letting him take over part of the setting designing? Might make it feel more like a gift from him again rather than just your crazy obsession.

I''ve lost track of where you''re at in the whole process, so if this doesn''t apply at all, just ignore me.

Divergrrl, I appreciate you and Cehra associating with my eastside self. I''m honored.

I did a PS search for Portland looking for others of us, but didn''t find much. Anyone else out there? We may need your help visiting Cehrabehra in the diamond psychosis ward of the funny farm . . .

Oh you can tell what that is? too cool!

My husband likes to insist that he''s put more into this than he did into any of our cars, and he might be right... but he isn''t putting very much to me. He''s very efficent and likes to get things over and done without much discussion. We sat down one day and he liked the royal crown and x prong and was like okay cool we''re done LOL I was showing him all of that cut out stuff and he just said whatever you want... and now his school break is over so getting him to discuss it is a little painful LOL He''s pleasant but preoccupied. he tells me that if I want to let him totally take over, he''ll do it but basicallly it is inefficent for him to just hang out by my side while I am being fickle. he''s right. I''m not upset with him but there''s a part of me that wishes he''d just be a bit cavemanlike and beat his chest and demand the right to do this and then actually put serious *thought* into it... but I''ve been married long enough to know that that is unrealistic LOL He''d do it but I doubt I''d like it LOL

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 9/27/2006 11:13:22 AM
Author: Christa

Divergrrl, I appreciate you and Cehra associating with my eastside self. I''m honored.

I did a PS search for Portland looking for others of us, but didn''t find much. Anyone else out there? We may need your help visiting Cehrabehra in the diamond psychosis ward of the funny farm . . .

AKA *acute* OCDD.

 

[kelley1975]

Hey!! **waving** I''m from Portland, too!! Well, actually Vancouver, WA (the ''couve

).

 

[kelley1975]

PBK= Pottery Barn Kids ??

 

[Christa]

Date: 9/27/2006 3:03:20 PM
Author: kelley1975
PBK= Pottery Barn Kids ??

Ohhhhh . . . I bet you''re right! My kids are on the older side, so I never would have come up with that.

So glad to meet another Portlander, even though you''re over the river in the Portland Annex.

There are more of us than I thought . . . 4 and counting!

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 9/27/2006 3:01:07 PM
Author: kelley1975
Hey!! **waving** I''m from Portland, too!! Well, actually Vancouver, WA (the ''couve

).

I lived there in the early 80''s! From birth to 21 when I got married I lived in CA except for four years I lived in vanc wa. Outside of hazel del. I would have gone to prarie high LOL you are ''close enough'' I declare it so! lol!!

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 9/27/2006 3:14:39 PM
Author: Christa

Date: 9/27/2006 3:03:20 PM
Author: kelley1975
PBK= Pottery Barn Kids ??

Ohhhhh . . . I bet you''re right! My kids are on the older side, so I never would have come up with that.

So glad to meet another Portlander, even though you''re over the river in the Portland Annex.

There are more of us than I thought . . . 4 and counting!

how old are your kids? Mine are 5, 7 and 12.

 

[Cehrabehra]

I can hear the groaning already... but... LOL

Okay so I was going to just not even think about rings today... but like usual I have my ring in my treasure chest... hehe.. so my youngest has a dr appt today and gets THREE shots. I tell him we can go to ice cream so I pull up near it in the same freaking strip mall I''ve been in a thousand times in the 10 years we''ve lived here and I look straight ahead and it''s a jewelry shop where they *make* jewelry... so I''m like to my son, okay just for a minute, okay? hehe we go in there and a minute later one of the other jewelers comes in with coffee and cookies and gives a huge cookie to my son which he proceeds to eat slowly and then pass out on the chair asleep. Uh oh... now I''ve got some time LOL

So they were actually pretty helpful with the stone sizes and a few other things but they had a setting there that I really liked *as is*!!! I would have just plopped the stone down and said SET IT but of course I have to make a custom head so they have to make a custom ring and the length of the stone is going to make the head this big and blah blah blah so basically it all comes back to total custom job again ::sigh:: The ring was different... it was 4mm wide and 2mm of it was bead blasted - a 2mm stripe down the middle... and then to either side was a row of 1.5 pointers tilted on an angle so they could be seen from the top but mostly from the side. It looked like 45* but you could see them better from the side than from the top. It looked so perfect though that I realized that I don''t really need baguettes... and that will cut the cost a *lot* to eliminate them. It looked like the band was MADE for my stone. The 2mm matte band looked like it went straight through my diamond where the "cumberbund" area was... and the two bands of melee rounds went through the princess like zones on my stone... it totally played the ''flaws'' of my stone and accentuated them in such a way it looked like it was by design! GORGEOUS!!!!

I don''t know if I want to use this jeweler though... I mean sure they''re TOTALLY convenient, but I''m not sure how to verify they''re gonna do what I hope because sure they showed me books of photos of their stuff, but what about the unhappy people??

anyway, I wouldn''t have even mentioned this if it wasn''t so funny that I am pulling in for icecream and voila! there''s a jewelry making place literally *right* in front of me. My car was seriously square to the front door and I''ve never noticed them even there before ROFL

 

[kelley1975]

Date: 9/27/2006 7:05:31 PM
Author: Cehrabehra

Date: 9/27/2006 3:01:07 PM
Author: kelley1975
Hey!! **waving** I''m from Portland, too!! Well, actually Vancouver, WA (the ''couve

).

I lived there in the early 80''s! From birth to 21 when I got married I lived in CA except for four years I lived in vanc wa. Outside of hazel del. I would have gone to prarie high LOL you are ''close enough'' I declare it so! lol!!

I grew up in Hazel Dell--and currently live a mile or so away from Prairie HS. I''m so excited there are fellow diamond obsessed PS''ers near me!!