Cehrabehra
Super_Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Jun 29, 2006
- Messages
- 11,071
need to vent....
I''m feeling so much anxiety about all of this it is ridiculous. I am not enjoying this like I should. I think a part of it is that I see women here changing things around and doing this then changing that, and I am so conflicted. Let me see if I can explain... On the one hand I think going into a setting or diamond knowing that you can change it or upgrade it is great because whatever committment you have toward your ring is transitional if you don''t love it. Change this, tweak that, make this bigger, make this smaller... etc. If you don''t love it you can change it. Now, I don''t really work that way. Once I have something I grow to love it so much I never want to change it. I KNOW i''m like that but that also makes me really bad at decision making.
First of all my stone. I love my stone. I loved it the moment I opened the box. I did. The first time I took it out into the sun I was truly awestruck at what it did. then the doubts crept in... was it good enough? did all diamonds do that? I have compared it to diamonds *all* over portland and the only ones that really give it a hard challenge have been rounds about 3 carats and a good 3x more than what I paid. So basically, I cannot get a better stone. I love the shape. Even if I could afford a 50k stone, it would be round and while I like them, it''s just not the shape I want on my finger, and never ever ever was my whole life. So... I know I need to stop doubting but there''s still a few days left on my return policy and I feel like I''m painfully letting them tick away so I can just accept I''m "stuck" with it and embrace my happiness LOL UGHGHGHGHGH!!! I''m a dork.
Then there''s the ring. That''s even worse. The options are endless. And I already spent more on the stone than I was supposed to for the whole ring, so my husband is wiggly. He wants to keep it under 3000 preferrably at 2000. But he''ll also pay whatever it takes for me to be happy. It''s hard for him to think that something utterly worthless (clear pebbles pffft) is gonna cost him 20k. I see his point... BUT BUT BUT just like you all, I want this and that''s what money is for. To buy things you like. He readily admits plunking money he didn''t need to on a convertable. I call this my convertable. (btw the stone and the convertable go so well together hehehehehehe). Anyway... I am now, in addition to the stone, feeling horrible anxiety about the ring. I keep thinking, oh the ignorance was bliss. I could have had a crappy .75 carat oval on my finger and a basic over the counter ring and be totally happy had I not found this place. Now there are so many options, such a huge variance in quality - and of course there''s no upgrading this ring for me. So whatever I choose I''m STUCK with. I know that whatever I choose I will grow attached to and will love no matter how flawed it is (providing it isn''t snapping in two or losing stones) and I know I can always get *another* ring, something different... a pendant... other things I can get... but this ring, this is it. So yesterday at the jewelers I''m like yanno, maybe it does need to sit flush with my other rings. Sure, this ring is like 7mm and adding the other two is like 14mm but still... what if I get a hair up my butt to wear them all? I should *plan* ahead! This is my one chance! Then there is the melee... I kind of like the taper better but I like straight too... and which is gonna look like 3 bands best, and should I do the millgrain and where should I put the engraving, should I leave the millgrain and engraving for *later* so I have less to decide now and can play with it later? Am I going to be content sending it in the mail every 6 months for a check? or should I just go buy that one at shane co that comes in under 3k where they have stores all over the west coast even if the ring isn''t perfect - but I could have it in like a week. And I wouldn''t have to think about it. But the diamonds aren''t as nice... but it''ll likely be cheaper... but it won''t ever be an heirloom to me, just a setting... and yes having an heirloom ring is important to me... my family has always been like that and my husband''s family is the opposite - they have NOTHING of family value whatsoever and he not only doesn''t value things like that he doesn''t understand it. But he loves me and wants me to be happy, truly, at any cost. And then I think I wanted this to really be from him but if he did all the work I''d have ended up with a nasty little ugly diamond from shane co in a tiffany head which isn''t bad but isn''t me. Striking a balance in all of this is driving me nuts. I feel like I have SO MANY QUESTIONS and I want so much input but I also feel like I make too many threads and still don''t get enough info. I search and search and I feel like so much of my life is on hold so I can spend time creating this ring. I really just want to get it done now, done, on my finger, so I can go back to my life of shopping and hanging out with my friends - this time with my pet rock LOL I''ve given too much time to this, and yet I feel like I cannot stop until it''s done correctly since I''m doing this for a lifetime ring, and one I plan to give my daughter. I wish I had a friend here, or a PSer or someone that I could talk to or email with and have a discussion with because my husband sucks and my friends - I don''t even want to tell them I''m getting this. Most of them don''t even know. And NONE of them understand LOL I mean are they really going to be able to answer the question, 1pointers or 2 pointers? LOL NOOOOO. The designer is great and the custom head is *awesome* and yet I''m still thinking... 4 or 8 or 4 or 8 or 4 or 8... and yet she was able to totally get how I combined the two. Cleaning slats on the side of the ring so it is solid on my finger for comfort... or cleaning access under the stones because baguettes get really dirty and need to be scrubbed even though that''s less comfortable... I was hoping the designer would be more likely to debate things but really she just wants to do what *I* like and bring it to life, giving opinions mostly about stability etc. And then I think what am I forgetting? What kind of prongs do I need for my melee?
I wish there was another board on this forum for "making" the ring. Showing the ring is like the finished product, rocky talky really should just be about diamond questions... but where are you really supposed to post about design issues?
All of this has me wound way too tightly... I want it done, over, on my finger, moving on... then I can come here occasionally and look around and comment or two and get back to normal life that isn''t totally hyperfocused around diamonds and rings!!! I know this has changed me *forever* and I will look back on it with gratitude and fondness, I just need to get through this. Ugh!
I''m feeling so much anxiety about all of this it is ridiculous. I am not enjoying this like I should. I think a part of it is that I see women here changing things around and doing this then changing that, and I am so conflicted. Let me see if I can explain... On the one hand I think going into a setting or diamond knowing that you can change it or upgrade it is great because whatever committment you have toward your ring is transitional if you don''t love it. Change this, tweak that, make this bigger, make this smaller... etc. If you don''t love it you can change it. Now, I don''t really work that way. Once I have something I grow to love it so much I never want to change it. I KNOW i''m like that but that also makes me really bad at decision making.
First of all my stone. I love my stone. I loved it the moment I opened the box. I did. The first time I took it out into the sun I was truly awestruck at what it did. then the doubts crept in... was it good enough? did all diamonds do that? I have compared it to diamonds *all* over portland and the only ones that really give it a hard challenge have been rounds about 3 carats and a good 3x more than what I paid. So basically, I cannot get a better stone. I love the shape. Even if I could afford a 50k stone, it would be round and while I like them, it''s just not the shape I want on my finger, and never ever ever was my whole life. So... I know I need to stop doubting but there''s still a few days left on my return policy and I feel like I''m painfully letting them tick away so I can just accept I''m "stuck" with it and embrace my happiness LOL UGHGHGHGHGH!!! I''m a dork.
Then there''s the ring. That''s even worse. The options are endless. And I already spent more on the stone than I was supposed to for the whole ring, so my husband is wiggly. He wants to keep it under 3000 preferrably at 2000. But he''ll also pay whatever it takes for me to be happy. It''s hard for him to think that something utterly worthless (clear pebbles pffft) is gonna cost him 20k. I see his point... BUT BUT BUT just like you all, I want this and that''s what money is for. To buy things you like. He readily admits plunking money he didn''t need to on a convertable. I call this my convertable. (btw the stone and the convertable go so well together hehehehehehe). Anyway... I am now, in addition to the stone, feeling horrible anxiety about the ring. I keep thinking, oh the ignorance was bliss. I could have had a crappy .75 carat oval on my finger and a basic over the counter ring and be totally happy had I not found this place. Now there are so many options, such a huge variance in quality - and of course there''s no upgrading this ring for me. So whatever I choose I''m STUCK with. I know that whatever I choose I will grow attached to and will love no matter how flawed it is (providing it isn''t snapping in two or losing stones) and I know I can always get *another* ring, something different... a pendant... other things I can get... but this ring, this is it. So yesterday at the jewelers I''m like yanno, maybe it does need to sit flush with my other rings. Sure, this ring is like 7mm and adding the other two is like 14mm but still... what if I get a hair up my butt to wear them all? I should *plan* ahead! This is my one chance! Then there is the melee... I kind of like the taper better but I like straight too... and which is gonna look like 3 bands best, and should I do the millgrain and where should I put the engraving, should I leave the millgrain and engraving for *later* so I have less to decide now and can play with it later? Am I going to be content sending it in the mail every 6 months for a check? or should I just go buy that one at shane co that comes in under 3k where they have stores all over the west coast even if the ring isn''t perfect - but I could have it in like a week. And I wouldn''t have to think about it. But the diamonds aren''t as nice... but it''ll likely be cheaper... but it won''t ever be an heirloom to me, just a setting... and yes having an heirloom ring is important to me... my family has always been like that and my husband''s family is the opposite - they have NOTHING of family value whatsoever and he not only doesn''t value things like that he doesn''t understand it. But he loves me and wants me to be happy, truly, at any cost. And then I think I wanted this to really be from him but if he did all the work I''d have ended up with a nasty little ugly diamond from shane co in a tiffany head which isn''t bad but isn''t me. Striking a balance in all of this is driving me nuts. I feel like I have SO MANY QUESTIONS and I want so much input but I also feel like I make too many threads and still don''t get enough info. I search and search and I feel like so much of my life is on hold so I can spend time creating this ring. I really just want to get it done now, done, on my finger, so I can go back to my life of shopping and hanging out with my friends - this time with my pet rock LOL I''ve given too much time to this, and yet I feel like I cannot stop until it''s done correctly since I''m doing this for a lifetime ring, and one I plan to give my daughter. I wish I had a friend here, or a PSer or someone that I could talk to or email with and have a discussion with because my husband sucks and my friends - I don''t even want to tell them I''m getting this. Most of them don''t even know. And NONE of them understand LOL I mean are they really going to be able to answer the question, 1pointers or 2 pointers? LOL NOOOOO. The designer is great and the custom head is *awesome* and yet I''m still thinking... 4 or 8 or 4 or 8 or 4 or 8... and yet she was able to totally get how I combined the two. Cleaning slats on the side of the ring so it is solid on my finger for comfort... or cleaning access under the stones because baguettes get really dirty and need to be scrubbed even though that''s less comfortable... I was hoping the designer would be more likely to debate things but really she just wants to do what *I* like and bring it to life, giving opinions mostly about stability etc. And then I think what am I forgetting? What kind of prongs do I need for my melee?
I wish there was another board on this forum for "making" the ring. Showing the ring is like the finished product, rocky talky really should just be about diamond questions... but where are you really supposed to post about design issues?
All of this has me wound way too tightly... I want it done, over, on my finger, moving on... then I can come here occasionally and look around and comment or two and get back to normal life that isn''t totally hyperfocused around diamonds and rings!!! I know this has changed me *forever* and I will look back on it with gratitude and fondness, I just need to get through this. Ugh!
I hope you can too! The good news for me is that I do know what looks good with the stone... having that narrowed down did help a lot... but then the parameters got so tight that custom is pretty much the only way to go and then it costs more, of course. I feel very confident about the general setting plan, just some of the details like how wide the band should be, how big the round melee should be, what type of setting for the round melee, whether it should taper or be straight... etc. Just silly details. I can''t tell you how many searches on melee I''ve done on PS and on the net (and it''s funny howmany links on google lead you right back here lol) and then of course you do a search on melee and end up in a thread about ultrasonics... all good info to know rofl!!
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