Changing your name

[LilyKat]

Date: 1/9/2010 6:34:33 PM
Author: diamondlove4
No one has an answer?

Diamondlove, I don't know how it works in the US, but it would be pretty much impossible in the UK to use different names. Employers are very strict about having the same name on your payroll and passport, and you need to use the same name for bank accounts, bills, anything involving credit checks etc. I guess there would be nothing to stop you calling yourself "Mrs so-and-so" to friends and unofficially to strangers, but to use names interchangeably formal capacity wouldn't be easy at all.

I'd also be interested to hear how people do it.

 

[Delster]

Date: 1/9/2010 12:35:31 AM
Author: diamondlove4
How do people take the husband''s last name and keep theirs and use it interchangeably? Do you end up with a last name that consists of two last names but without a hyphenation? Such as First Name: Jane, Middle Name: Kate, Last Name: Doe Smith ... and you can go by either Jane Doe or Jane Smith? I''m curious how that works since a bunch of people mentioned it as an option.


Plus...would the space in the last name cause any problems?

This may not be of much use to you but it works in Ireland because we haven''t codified the law on names so the old common law rules still apply. Your name is whatever you are known by. If you are known by two different names, then you have two different names.

Banks ask to have a copy of your marriage certificate and then they accept cheques made out to you in either name, irrespective of whether you''ve changed it or not. So if you are Jane Smith and you marry John Jones, and you keep your maiden name, the bank will still accept cheques made out to ''Jane Smith'' or to ''John and Jane Smith'' or to ''Mrs John Smith'' because they know it''s social convention and that people will just change your name anyway whether you''ve told them to or not.

And that''s a whole other can of worms...

 

[ChocolateLover]

I''m not attached to my last name (people always pronounce it incorrectly), but I doubt I''ll be bothered to change it. I think its becoming a lot more normal to have a different last name than your spouse, so hopefully at schools, border crossings etc - there will be less hassle than our parents would have faced.

I would also have no problems using my BFs last name in informal situations such as signing Christmas cards etc - but for official stuff, I think its just easier to keep it as is.

Maybe I''ll change my mind though - this is something we haven''t talked about at all. Maybe I''ll bring it up tonight, I doubt he cares either way though.

 

[Lozza]

I am having a big dillema about this at the moment. I am very close to my family, and lets just say not very close to his. I feel like by changing my family name to his, I am rejecting my family to become a part of his, which I really don''t want to do. I also don''t like the idea of having the same name as my MIL (i.e. we would both be Mrs Surname).

No one else seems to have mentioned family ties - am I overthinking this or is it something others consider? Especially if you don''t get along with your in-laws?

 

[Scorpioanne]

Date: 1/12/2010 9:02:12 PM
Author: Lozza
I am having a big dillema about this at the moment. I am very close to my family, and lets just say not very close to his. I feel like by changing my family name to his, I am rejecting my family to become a part of his, which I really don''t want to do. I also don''t like the idea of having the same name as my MIL (i.e. we would both be Mrs Surname).

No one else seems to have mentioned family ties - am I overthinking this or is it something others consider? Especially if you don''t get along with your in-laws?

I do believe it has something to do with family ties, or allegiances. That is one reason I went with the double surname (without a hyphen). I adore my in-laws and also didn''t want to give up my maiden name as I am close to my parents and have made a career under my maiden name. I also have a son who changed his name to my surname when his dad remarried and changed his name to his new wife''s name. I didn''t want my son to have no parents with a name that connects him to them. It has been a great compromise.
It''s funny, I took my cat to the vet and couldn''t remeber the cat''s last name at the vet and DH said, I am sure it is Scorpio Maidenname, not Scorpio Maidenname His last as we didn''t change any of the kids'' names

 

[GettingDesperate905]

I will most definitely be taking his last name. However, that said, I''m not in the same position as most. Neither of us have completed school, and dont plan to until after the wedding, so my degree will come after the name change. I can completely understand not changing your name if you are already established in your professional career.