Cake in the face, yea or nay?

[choro72]

Last year at my friend''s wedding, the cake cutting took unusually long and I was wondering what was going on. He later told me that he knew NOTHING about cake cutting traditions. He knew that there are cakes at weddings but he didn''t know that they were supposed to feed each other. This was what was going on between them.

They cut cake, put it on the plate, and groom tries to pick up the plate to make it easier to eat.
Bride: "What are you doing?"
Groom: "huh?"
Bride: "Put the plate down"
Groom: "But it''s easier..."
Bride: "Put the plate down, NOW"
Groom: Confused and timidly, "okay...plate is on the table..."
The groom scoops it with a fork and starts to eat himself.
Bride: "No, we''re supposed to feed each other!"
Groom: "Oh really? Okay, here..." Picks up the plate again so that he can catch the crumbs when he feeds her.
Bride: Smiling and gritting teeth, "Put. The. Plate. Down."

Well, it took them a good five minutes to put that cake in each others mouths but their faces were cake free

As for me, I am not spending money on hair and makeup to have it messed up by cake smashing.

Groom will be in big trouble.

 

[Allison D.]

Another in the nay camp here....

 

[mimzy]

Date: 7/21/2008 9:24:45 PM
Author: allycat0303
Oh my gosh NO. I don''t know what the symbolism behind that tradition is, so I''m going to look it up.


ETA: I found this little snippet: Smashing wedding cake into your new spouse''s face is totally disrespectful when you realize where the tradition originated. It is said that the cake tradition is supposed to represent that throughout your marriage, you will ''feed'' each other and take care of each other.

you know, i always hear that the origins are totally ick, but i''ve never been able to find out what they actually are. i know it''s usually regarded as passive aggressive, which i can understand, but i don''t know if ''passive aggressive'' really qualifies as vulgar in terms of origin.

does anyone know? it seems almost taboo for some reason

 

[Gypsy]

Choro... why did the plate have to be down??? I''d be okay with John picking up the plate and protecting my gown.

Nay camp. So is John. Thankfully.

 

[miraclesrule]

Date: 7/22/2008 12:39:40 AM
Author: Gypsy
Choro... why did the plate have to be down??? I''d be okay with John picking up the plate and protecting my gown.

Nay camp. So is John. Thankfully.

Yeah, I really felt sorry for the groom in that one. It sounds like he was trying to be "neat and clean" with all the guests, and camera''s, and expected decorum. But it''s still fun reading...

Note to Self: Go over cake details with FI and DD during rehersal this Thursday night.

 

[sunnygirl]

totally a nay! I don''t think we have specifically talked about this but I would bet money FI is in the nay camp as well...

 

[kittybean]

Ugh. Huge NAY over here. My cousin and his new wife did this at their wedding, and the bride never quite fixed her face after. My fiance would be toast, and he knows it.

 

[choro72]

Date: 7/22/2008 12:39:40 AM
Author: Gypsy
Choro... why did the plate have to be down??? I'd be okay with John picking up the plate and protecting my gown.

Nay camp. So is John. Thankfully.

As soon as the groom picked up the plate with the cake on it, the girl got paranoid that he was going to smash her face with it. Obviously, they never talked about how the cake eating part was going to work out.

The groom was so confused until she explained it to him later. They are an awesome couple despite what I wrote.

 

[bensbride]

Absolutely 100% nay. Growing up, my mother always commented on how much she hates it when people disrespect each other as the first act of marriage. I''m sure in some people''s eyes its just playful, but frosting is sticky and I have no desire to have it up my nose (how awful, miracles).

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

I''ve never seen a cake smash ala "three stooges pie in the face" but my opinion is that whatever the couple wants to do is fine. If they want to playfully get icing on each other, that''s their deal. As long as they''re happy! I''ve seen no cake smashing, I''ve seen accidental icing on the corners, I''ve seen bride gets cake neatly, groom gets it shoved on his lips... I''ve never seen anyone upset about it. There''s always the "oooh will there be smashing?" feeling in the air, and that look from the bride that says NO THERE WiLL NOT as she opens her mouth, which is kind of suspenseful and fun. I would not want to see a cake smashing if the person getting smashed didn''t want it... that''s AWFUL!!


Personally, I do not want cake smashing. If FF wants to joke about it lovingly then that''s fine, and I''m sure I''ll give him the "I''m up to something eyebrow" when it''s my turn to feed him, but I don''t want cake anywhere but on our lips. Besides, I''ll have his Navy sword in my hand when I cut the cake, so he would be too afraid of an accident.

Just like how he knows not to tickle me in the kitchen when I''m chopping vegetables

I don''t think there''s any origin to cake smashing other than people being goofy and it catching on.

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 7/21/2008 9:04:16 PM
Author: Kaleigh
NAY!! I think that is just the worst.

Ditto.

Nay.

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 7/21/2008 9:57:17 PM
Author: Pandora II
Hmm, you probably lose a tooth with English wedding-cake.

Royal icing is like concrete. I kid you not, I was at the DIY store today buying sandpaper for my cake!

LOL!!! That is so true Pan!!

 

[Deelight]

Date: 7/21/2008 10:37:48 PM
Author: TravelingGal
OK, why nay?

It''s fun, frollicky and everyone enjoys a good laugh at the reception. I mean, it''s a pretty popular thing to do and usually everyone''s in good humor about it. Plus the photos are really cute after the fact.


Yeah, alright...I''m full of baloney. I''d have to say, I''d buy a ticket to the NAY camp.

ETA, for our wedding, TGuy refused to cut the cake all the way down to the bottom, so we wouldn''t have had a piece to even threaten to do this. The photographer kept asking us to cut the cake all the way down. Meanwhile, the entire Australian party was in the background screaming ''No, we don''t cut the cake to the bottom!!'' I guess it''s bad luck.

Yes it is considered bad luck, you wishes won''t come true though I am not so much sure with wedding cakes but B-day cakes it is, you also have to kiss the nearest girl/boy next to you as well if you touch the bottom.

If FF tried to smoosh cake in my face he would in so much trouble ewwww, I don''t think anyone here does that

 

[Courtneylub]

Nay!!!

Speck on the nose is adorable.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 7/21/2008 8:30:22 PM
Author:purrfectpear
I''m definitely in the nay group. I hate, really hate seeing the cake smashed in the face.
How about the rest of you?

Nay.

It''s cute in theory but what happens after? Do you run away to fix your makeup?

I was once in a wedding where the woman had a red velvet cake. Guess what happened?? Fell right on her dress and she had a big ole red spot for the rest of the wedding.

 

[swimmer]

The real issue here is that its a WASTE OF GOOD CAKE!

Since everyone seems to agree, if you have any to spare, pass some around.

 

[amy_dub]

I say no no no! I hate this "ritual." It''s stupid, awkward and childish. I told FI if he smashed cake in my face and ruined my dress, i would divorce him. lol

 

[diamondfan]

Really a nay to me, unless it is very minor and careful, more like feeding a bite to your new spouse.

Just not a classy thing, why is it a tradition to do that? I never could make sense of that. You are all made up and elegant and here comes your new hubby smushing cake in your face? Let's be sure to get lots of photos of THAT lovely moment.

I specifically told my fiance that under no circumstances was he to shove cake in my face. I was not taking it lightly. He said he never really thought about it anyway, so I was glad.

I would have been crying if I had cake smashed into my face and hair.

 

[iheartscience]

A huge NAY here. I was just talking about this a few weekends ago!

At my brother''s BIL''s wedding (complicated, I know!) the bride and groom fed each other cake nicely and then the bride''s BROTHER ran up and SMASHED an entire piece of cake in her face. My brother and his wife could not believe it. The bride was crying and the groom just stood there and didn''t know what to do. My brother''s wife said it wrecked her make up and was all over her hair and dress, too. So horrible!

 

[VRBeauty]

NAY NAY NAY!

One of my SILs did this to my brother at their wedding, and I all I can say is that it was terribly hurtful watching that happen to someone you love.

As for the correlation with divorce, I don''t doubt it at all. (this brother''s marriage ran into some seriously rough water early on, but fortunately they pulled through and the marriage now seems to be incredibly strong

.)

 

[luckystar112]

Eh, doesn''t bother me as much as others. Depending on how you do it, I think it can be really cute/funny. Then again, I''m the girl who jumped into the ocean and ruined my hair, make-up, AND dress less than 15 minutes after saying "I do".

DH and I did the "airplane" to eachother...that was our fun.

Date: 7/23/2008 8:59:37 PM
Author: amy_dub
I say no no no! I hate this ''ritual.'' It''s stupid, awkward and childish. I told FI if he smashed cake in my face and ruined my dress, i would divorce him. lol

Tell us how you really feel, amy_dub!

 

[NovemberBride]

I have to say, before my own wedding I would have said that I was firmly in the nay camp. I am generally a very proper person and we had a very formal black tie Sat. night wedding. My DH is much less proper/formal than I am. Before our wedding I made it clear that there was to be no cake smashing (see above posts re: dress, hair and make-up). However, by the time we cut our cake, I was having so much fun that on the spur of the moment I actually stuck frosting on DH''s nose (pic below). I think everyone was shocked who knew me and my personality. But that''s one of the great things about DH, he brings out my hidden spontaneous and playful side. I don''t think it made my reception any less classy, and it made for some great pics!

View attachment cakeonface(2).jpg

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

NOOOOO. FI and I are on the same page. In my family there is a woman in every generation who is "spot" and I am it for mine, the last thing I need is help making a mess.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 7/22/2008 7:50:37 AM
Author: Deelight

Date: 7/21/2008 10:37:48 PM
Author: TravelingGal
OK, why nay?

It''s fun, frollicky and everyone enjoys a good laugh at the reception. I mean, it''s a pretty popular thing to do and usually everyone''s in good humor about it. Plus the photos are really cute after the fact.


Yeah, alright...I''m full of baloney. I''d have to say, I''d buy a ticket to the NAY camp.

ETA, for our wedding, TGuy refused to cut the cake all the way down to the bottom, so we wouldn''t have had a piece to even threaten to do this. The photographer kept asking us to cut the cake all the way down. Meanwhile, the entire Australian party was in the background screaming ''No, we don''t cut the cake to the bottom!!'' I guess it''s bad luck.

Yes it is considered bad luck, you wishes won''t come true though I am not so much sure with wedding cakes but B-day cakes it is, you also have to kiss the nearest girl/boy next to you as well if you touch the bottom.

If FF tried to smoosh cake in my face he would in so much trouble ewwww, I don''t think anyone here does that

That''s interesting deelight, thanks!

 

[WishfulThinking]

Date: 7/23/2008 9:13:16 PM
Author: thing2of2
A huge NAY here. I was just talking about this a few weekends ago!


At my brother''s BIL''s wedding (complicated, I know!) the bride and groom fed each other cake nicely and then the bride''s BROTHER ran up and SMASHED an entire piece of cake in her face. My brother and his wife could not believe it. The bride was crying and the groom just stood there and didn''t know what to do. My brother''s wife said it wrecked her make up and was all over her hair and dress, too. So horrible!

Oh....goodness. Wow. I really don''t even know what to say to that, since my eyes are bugging out of my head at the thought. That sibling would be SO CROSSED OFF THE CHRISTMAS CARD LIST.

I would be livid. Is it bad of me to file that under unforgivable actions?

NovemberBride- I think the cake on the nose is supercute. It is VERY different from smashing it belligerently into your loved-one''s face and possibly ruining the way they look for the rest of the day. It''s the difference between cute and playful and what is [to me] bordering on violent and disrespectful. Your picture is really sweet, by the way!

 

[marchswallowbird]

Found this:

"The origin of the wedding cake can be traced back to ancient Rome (9th century BC - 5th century AD) where marital practices dictated that the cake must be smashed ceremonially over the bride''s head. Fortunately, the kind of confection they were dumping was nothing like the wedding cake we know in today''s day and age. The cake was actually a loaf of bread comprised mostly of barley, flour and salt. This act was not to knock the bride out, but rather to symbolize the breaking of the bride''s virginal state, and to inspire fertility. This practice later extended to Northern Scotland, where an entire basket of oatcakes would be broken over the poor bride''s crown."

 

[WishfulThinking]

Date: 7/24/2008 1:49:49 AM
Author: marchswallowbird
Found this:


''The origin of the wedding cake can be traced back to ancient Rome (9th century BC - 5th century AD) where marital practices dictated that the cake must be smashed ceremonially over the bride''s head. Fortunately, the kind of confection they were dumping was nothing like the wedding cake we know in today''s day and age. The cake was actually a loaf of bread comprised mostly of barley, flour and salt. This act was not to knock the bride out, but rather to symbolize the breaking of the bride''s virginal state, and to inspire fertility. This practice later extended to Northern Scotland, where an entire basket of oatcakes would be broken over the poor bride''s crown.''

That alone, not factoring in the mess, grossness, and other reservations I have... would be MORE that sufficient to disqualify it from entering, in ANY FORM other than a dessert, into part of my wedding day. Virginal state? Fertility? What are these things of which you speak?

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 7/23/2008 9:13:16 PM
Author: thing2of2
A huge NAY here. I was just talking about this a few weekends ago!

At my brother''s BIL''s wedding (complicated, I know!) the bride and groom fed each other cake nicely and then the bride''s BROTHER ran up and SMASHED an entire piece of cake in her face. My brother and his wife could not believe it. The bride was crying and the groom just stood there and didn''t know what to do. My brother''s wife said it wrecked her make up and was all over her hair and dress, too. So horrible!

OMG!

I don''t have a brother, but I can honestly tell you if ANYONE did that to me... Holy Heck, they''d better watch out. I do not forgive and forget. (I do just flat out forget cause my memory makes swiss cheese look substantial... but BOY when I remember again!).

 

[VRBeauty]

Date: 7/24/2008 3:46:55 AM
Author: Gypsy

OMG!

I don''t have a brother, but I can honestly tell you if ANYONE did that to me... Holy Heck, they''d better watch out. I do not forgive and forget. (I do just flat out forget cause my memory makes swiss cheese look substantial... but BOY when I remember again!).

LOL (in self-recognition

) !

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I vote for Nay. It''s really just not necessary. Although, I do like the idea of the MOH and BM standing on either side of the B/G for a picture right before "it" happens. And instead of the bride and groom smashing it in each other''s faces, they turn and get their friends.