Buying for your real life or your imaginary life?

[sillyberry]

I don't really buy real jewelry (other than my wedding set and gifted diamond earrings), because I just don't covet it, but I do like to buy lots of fun costume jewelry that I absolutely never wear. Big dangly earrings and statement necklaces. I think in my dream life I'm trendier and more fun than I am in my waking hours. It's the same reason I buy high heels I absolutely never wear (although I've tried to cut down that habit).

 

[Circe]

Well, the psychomatrician in my wanted a little more specificity in your question, but I guess we are adopting a more loosey goosey descriptive approach to data collection

This distinction between a real and imaginary life is interesting to me. I have never thought of my life as having those two componenets. I think the assumption that two such parallel universes exist implies a whole host of interesting psychology concepts: The "ought" self and social norms on the one hand seeming to shape the "real life", and the more aspirational self shaping the "imaginary life".

In self psychology we talk a lot about authenticity -- feeling like one is presenting to others ones true self. People vary greatly in how much they reveal their "true self". Typically, when people fear rejection by others they hide their true or authentic self behind a mask of socially acceptable (and benign) behavior. I imagine if someone feels inauthentic then they could feel like their real life is dictating a lot of their choices in life, including their jewelery wardrobe. If someone was letting their authentic self guide their decisions -- their passions, their esthetics, their whims -- then perhaps a more "imaginary self" or "imaginary life" would seem to guide their decisions because each individual's choices would be more ideosyncratic. Remove the influence of norms and you get very individualistic and unpredictable behavior. So I wonder if their is a correlation between people's answers to this question and their own feelings of authenticity in their life.

For my part, if social norms are real life, I most definitely let imaginary life guide my jewelery. I wear my Aurora and 1.35cttw studs in my pajamas around the house when I am sick and looking after my 9 month old! But I don't consider that my imaginary life. It is authentic to who I am.

You know, that might explain why I had so much difficulty answering the question - I've been consciously ignoring social norms since I've had the option. But I don't know that it makes me more authentic to just do what I want to do: if anything, I feel like it makes me more conscious of the degree to which almost all social presentation is a facade, from the performativity of gender to the differing social roles one adopts with friends (the one with whom you generally play the nurturer vs. the one with whom you adopt the role of partner-in-crime, for example). But I'm a layperson when it comes to this sort of thing, and wouldn't want to generalize on the basis of my own experience. Are there any texts on the subjects you'd recommend?

 

[HollyS]

Hmmmm.....I don't have an 'alternate' unreal me.

However, I did, once upon a time, dress in the corporate look. Suit or blazer, pumps, necklace and earring sets, etc. Yup, the whole 'dress for success' eighties-style. It was necessary to dress for the job you aspired to. It sent a message that you were serious about doing well and moving ahead. And it worked (pun intended ) I looked way too old for my years, though.

Now I dress softer. Cardigans instead of blazers. Dresses instead of suits. Slacks with feminine tops instead of matching jackets. Boots in the winter and sandals in the summer. When Michelle Obama began being photographed in dresses w/ cardigans, I felt pretty smart about my own, similar choices.

I can buy for a lot less, when I dress this way. Like this weekend when I bought several dresses and cardigans from Old Navy. No item was over $27. (Major dress sale going on right now!!) Six cardigans, six dresses, and two tops for 240.00. I used to spend that on a suit. On my salary then, that was a huge purchase.

I dress for the life I have and the life I want, both. If I won the lotto tomorrow, I'd still keep my personal style. . .albeit with a designer label or two.

 

[Jennifer W]

I buy / make for my imaginary life, completely. Why not? Eventually, I believe it will meld with my real life, or take it over entirely. Sometimes though, I have to use my real life to prop up my fantasy life a little. Example: I'm learning to work in silver, with an eye on the fact that I will eventually require a tiara and matching choker, all in a rather elaborate design. That's the imaginary life bit. The real life bit is that I can't currently afford to commission this set, so I have to make it for myself... See? My real life here is propping up my imaginary life beautifully.

Heheheh - what you're describing is exactly how I got into silversmithing. I've never tried to make a tiara, though. But I am currently drooling over this crown: http://www.etsy.com/listing/85043070/golden-fairytale-princess-crown-of-gold

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ....

Confession - my own personal project is a tiara. It is just for me, it will probably never be seen outside my apartment, but it is such a fun, challenging project!

Heheheh - I wonder how many of us there are? I think we should start a making-the-tiara thread. If I make mine in sections, I can participate, and this thread has started the ideas percolating ....

Jen - I wanna see your bench!

Here you go - I think it worked this time.

This is a large component of my imaginary life. See, when I'm standing here forging things, melting and bending metal, creating odd, lumpy stuff and occasionally making something wearable for the kind and lovely people who act as my guinea pigs, I'm the jewellery equivalent of a rock star. In my head, I'm just moments away from being asked to stop with the client services work and take a seat at the bench at DBL instead. Just waiting for that call....which has not materialised as yet and I cannot understand it.

Ok, so what about this tiara make-along? Who's in?

 

[rosetta]

I actually don't care about this stuff. My jewellery in no way, shape or form matches my clothes or any aspect of my life.

Yes I'm in the highest tax bracket but only just. I don't even own a home, a flashy car or any of these trappings. I spend all my money on travel and jewels. Neither reflect my bank balance or represent any aspirations. I am very much at home wandering into expensive stores whilst looking like I don't have two cents to rub together.

I just like jewels. Period. I just like luxurious holidays. Period. Its not my imaginary life, it's my real life. It may all be incongruous, but that's my life!

PS you could totally rock a tiara Circe!

 

[Jennifer W]

I actually don't care about this stuff. My jewellery in no way, shape or form matches my clothes or any aspect of my life.

Yes I'm in the highest tax bracket but only just. I don't even own a home, a flashy car or any of these trappings. I spend all my money on travel and jewels. Neither reflect my bank balance or represent any aspirations. I am very much at home wandering into expensive stores whilst looking like I don't have two cents to rub together.

I just like jewels. Period. I just like luxurious holidays. Period. Its not my imaginary life, it's my real life. It may all be incongruous, but that's my life!

PS you could totally rock a tiara Circe!

You're in the UK, right? If my experience is representative, you don't have two cents to rub together because you're in the high tax bracket.

 

[Echidna]

I actually don't care about this stuff. My jewellery in no way, shape or form matches my clothes or any aspect of my life.

Yes I'm in the highest tax bracket but only just. I don't even own a home, a flashy car or any of these trappings. I spend all my money on travel and jewels. Neither reflect my bank balance or represent any aspirations. I am very much at home wandering into expensive stores whilst looking like I don't have two cents to rub together.

I just like jewels. Period. I just like luxurious holidays. Period. Its not my imaginary life, it's my real life. It may all be incongruous, but that's my life!

PS you could totally rock a tiara Circe!

You're in the UK, right? If my experience is representative, you don't have two cents to rub together because you're in the high tax bracket.

Same here...

 

[Echidna]

I do sometimes think my purchasing appears incongruent to some people (nice term, Rosetta!), but only to those who don't know me well. I am a big proponent of buying things you like (regardless of trends/expectations/norms) and enjoying those things because they are inherently pleasurable TO YOU.

Are those things from my real life or imaginary life? A little of column A, a little of column B...

PS. Where do I sign up to be a head model for tiara fashioning?

 

[QueenB29]

I would say that individually all of my jewelry pieces (as well as clothes, shoes, purses, etc) fit my lifestyle. They're fairly small, tasteful, and nothing is outrageously expensive or dressy. I get bored easily, however, and the quantity of jewelry (as well as clothes, shoes, purses, etc) I possess is a different story.........taken together, my collection is probably more appropriate for the princess of a small nation.......which I would like to be

 

[Jennifer W]

I would say that individually all of my jewelry pieces (as well as clothes, shoes, purses, etc) fit my lifestyle. They're fairly small, tasteful, and nothing is outrageously expensive or dressy. I get bored easily, however, and the quantity of jewelry (as well as clothes, shoes, purses, etc) I possess is a different story.........taken together, my collection is probably more appropriate for the princess of a small nation.......which I would like to be

...at which point, Circe and Lady Disdain and I may be able to make your crown...

 

[QueenB29]

I would say that individually all of my jewelry pieces (as well as clothes, shoes, purses, etc) fit my lifestyle. They're fairly small, tasteful, and nothing is outrageously expensive or dressy. I get bored easily, however, and the quantity of jewelry (as well as clothes, shoes, purses, etc) I possess is a different story.........taken together, my collection is probably more appropriate for the princess of a small nation.......which I would like to be

...at which point, Circe and Lady Disdain and I may be able to make your crown...

Hehehe....I would wear it proudly

 

[rosetta]

I actually don't care about this stuff. My jewellery in no way, shape or form matches my clothes or any aspect of my life.

Yes I'm in the highest tax bracket but only just. I don't even own a home, a flashy car or any of these trappings. I spend all my money on travel and jewels. Neither reflect my bank balance or represent any aspirations. I am very much at home wandering into expensive stores whilst looking like I don't have two cents to rub together.

I just like jewels. Period. I just like luxurious holidays. Period. Its not my imaginary life, it's my real life. It may all be incongruous, but that's my life!

PS you could totally rock a tiara Circe!

You're in the UK, right? If my experience is representative, you don't have two cents to rub together because you're in the high tax bracket.

Same here...

You speak the truth ladies. Waaaaaah!

 

[Echidna]

A nice everyday tiara. You could easily wear that to the supermarket

 

[AGBF]

When we did Dreamer's "Essential Jewelry" thread, I might have come off like a smart-aleck, but if so, it was only half-intentional: in my cosmology, a tiara is vital!

You must see Lady Maria's tiaras if you haven't seen them. If you click on this link and scroll down the page, you can see her in her Countess of Cakes tiara watching the Royal Wedding of their Serene Highnesses Prince Albert of Monaco and Princess Charlene of Monaco. She has several tiaras and she wears them when she teaches. Not every day, of course. Read the thread!

[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/tiaras.153398/page-9']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/tiaras.153398/page-9[/URL]

Deb/AGBF


Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend

 

[AGBF]

Heheheh - what you're describing is exactly how I got into silversmithing. I've never tried to make a tiara, though. But I am currently drooling over this crown: http://www.etsy.com/listing/85043070/golden-fairytale-princess-crown-of-gold

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ....

The gold crown you like reminded me of the gold headband JewelFreak (Laurie) posted in The Gold Thread once. It was made by a little company called AG Correa and Son in Edgcomb, Maine and as soon as Laurie posted the photo I fell in love with it and sent for the catalogue which she had been receiving for years. I don't recall now how much it cost, but the cost must have deterred me! Either that or I decide that the look wouldn't suit me at my age and with my blonde hair!

Deb/AGBF


Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend

 

[Pandora II]

Oh I buy for my imaginary life - which will OF COURSE become my real life eventually. I'd much rather buy chic suits than what I wear around the house even if it would probably be more sensible to update my normal clothes, but they just don't interest me... I shop mainly on eBay so at least my glamourous (and often very expensive to original owner) clothes come v cheap.

I very near commissioned Andrew Prince to make me a tiara for my wedding - he uses traditional techniques and very high quality materials and workmanship but uses cz instead of diamonds. In the end I bought an original 1920's wax orange blossom tiara, but I still hanker after the real thing. I would have the opportunity to actually wear the thing occasionally - there are still tiara-wearing events in London (OMG the family bling that comes out of the banks for them is incredible) which I can wangle invitations for once in a while.

 

[LadyMaria]

You must see Lady Maria's tiaras if you haven't seen them. If you click on this link and scroll down the page, you can see her in her Countess of Cakes tiara watching the Royal Wedding of their Serene Highnesses Prince Albert of Monaco and Princess Charlene of Monaco. She has several tiaras and she wears them when she teaches. Not every day, of course. Read the thread!

[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/tiaras.153398/page-9']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/tiaras.153398/page-9[/URL]

Deb/AGBF


Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend

Well now…how do I explain the fact that I own six tiaras? Is it my imaginary life or my real life?

I was in third grade when Charles and Diana married, right at the prime age for getting sucked into the whole fairy tale princess gig. In elementary school I perfected the art of spray painting posterboard silver, turning sequins upside down, and gluing them down one by one as I designed my own tiaras. When my mother would drag me to garage sales, I would beg for the old pieces of costume jewelry I would find. My mother’s senior prom dress was worn out because it was my ball gown for playing dress up.

Things is, I never grew out of it.

Fast forward to my college years where I met my prince. Of course he’s not a real prince, but he treats me wonderfully…he treats me like a princess. I know I am the queen of his heart. I am royalty in our household. Our first ten years of marriage were difficult since he was in graduate school and we were living on my teacher’s salary. I know there were things he wished he could give me, but couldn’t just because we didn’t have much money.

He knew of my love for following royal families (bred from the aforementioned fairy tale princess gig). When we moved out of our first apartment, I had to spackle the nail holes. It was my first experience with spackling, and it is the coolest stuff! He was laughing his butt off at my delight with spackling. Once we were settled in our new apartment, he surprised me with a cheap little tiara from the local craft store and said I was the Queen of Spackle. To this day, I wear it anytime I spackle.

More tiaras followed, each with their own name…Princess of Packing (for how often we moved), Countess of Cakes (cake decorating is a hobby), Princess of Puke (we have two children who once had a stomach flu at the same time), Tsarina of Teaching and Madam Mad Scientist (for a couple of teaching awards I’ve won). And as the years passed, he finally finished graduate school bought me a few real things, like a new diamond for my engagement ring that actually is bigger than the kidney stones I’ve passed (that’s where the Lady Lithotripsy title comes from), some tanzanite, and some pearls.

So far, my daughter seems to have inherited my love for princesses (albeit Disney at this point) and sparkles. She’s only 4, but I really hope that it will last so I can spend time painting posterboard silver, turning sequins upside down, gluing them one by one, and helping her to design her own tiaras. I rescued all of my costume jewelry for her, and my old prom dresses are ready. I want her to use her imagination like I did…I see far too many of my students today that are so dependent on their electronic devices and I wonder if it is killing natural creativity and imagination.

So to answer the question, is it my real life or imaginary life? Every tiara stands for something in my real life. My “titles” are just as real to me as being a Princess of Monaco is to Charlene.

It’s just when my titles are overlooked on royal wedding invitation lists that it becomes my imaginary life!

 

[aviastar]

1) Circe- I ADORE Last Unicorn and Flight of the Dragons and I don't know anyone who has the faintest idea what I am talking about when I mention them. I have Last Unicorn on DVD, but have had trouble finding Flight of the Dragons

2) I told my then BF that I would be more than happy to sport an engagement tiara instead of an e-ring- I would wear it every day. Little did I know that he was already sitting on a ring, so I will just have to wait for an anniversary tiara instead. I took a wax carving class, and though I am still very much a beginner, I would totally be down to try and carve a tiara for the make-along!

3) Every girl should have a corset collection. I do. (I'm a theater kid...costumes are a major part of my imaginary life!)

4) I have jewelry for both my 'real' and 'imaginary' lives- and I like to mix them both in as often as possible, both in terms of jewlery and in making the imaginary bits real.

GREAT THREAD! Thank you!