Breaking up w/hair stylist - tips to find a new one?

[Enerchi]

My last cut & colour with my long term girl was my "break up" cut!!! She coloured me too blonde (what? is there such a thing??? yes - apparently there is, at least on MY skin tone!) and... the killer of all insults.... my head looked like I was wearing a MULLET!!!
oh --- that was it!! I came home madder than a wet hornet!

I have very dry/frizzy hair and had grown out my layers over about a year --- which she promptly CUT again into layers during this cut and after saying how great it looks being at one length and "we'll just trim a bit off the bottom" - perfect! Unfortunately, once she styled it, she felt it needed 'layers' again and just started cutting before I stopped her (half of the back was cut... you can't put it back, so had to have the rest of it cut as well ) OH I WAS SO UPSET!! and I said so at the time - which is VERY out of character of me to actually speak up right there and then and express my unhappiness. I ended up chopping my own hair with the help of DH and DD, so I minimized the mullet look. So now, here I am 7 weeks later needing a new colour touch up and a trim and looking for a new stylist. I think I found one and will talk with them this week before I commit to an appointment. I feel guilty that I'm cheating on my long term stylist who I like as a person... but WTH was with that last cut?!?

I've been asking friends for recommendations as well as googling for local reviews. Any tips? suggestions? And while researching --- HOLY COW the prices for what I'm looking for are in the $150+ range!! YIKES! There is something to be said for sticking with my regular girl...

I'm torn - break up with her? Stay but be VERY clear there will be no more layers again?? Try someone new once? argh --- its just hair, for heaven's sake

 

[JewelFreak]

Yeah, it's just hair, Enerchi, but nothing wrecks your day like a bad cut or color. The pits. A hairdresser once made mine too blonde too & I looked A.W.F.U.L. (barf emotie here). Hated to go out of my house!

Besides asking friends, I keep my eyes open everywhere I go -- in line at the store, lunch places, standing on a street corner, everywhere, for a cut and/or color I like. Then I ask where she gets it done. (Explaining first that she looks great & I'm searching for a good hairdresser.)

It is expensive. But I'd rather sacrifice something else if I have to, for good hair. We live in a not-snottily-expensive area & I pay $125 for a cut & color -- when I get highlights it can go close to $200, so I only do that a few times a year. Plus tip of course, groan. Worth it!

--- Laurie

 

[missy]

Oh, I totally get how you are feeling! I love my hairstylist-as a person...not so much as a hairdresser. He has been cutting my hair for over 20 years!! Yes, you heard right lol. I am that pathetic. I have tried to break up with him (as a hairdresser/client relationship that is) but have been unsuccessful so far. I got to the point of not having had my hair cut for a year LOL but then I went back to him. I am weak, what can I say.

My hair is curly and when I started going to him he would always blow it straight and it looked great. Over 10 years ago I decided to let it go natural and that is when I realized he just didn't know how to cut curly hair. It's not easy and you really need to *know* curly hair. Not every hair stylist does. In fact, an appalling number of them cannot do it right.

The problem is, he is such a great person and we really know each other so well. He makes the salon temp comfortable for me (I am very particular) when I am there and he just makes the overall experience so pleasant and fun that I guess I am willing to overlook the fact that he cannot cut my curly hair well. LOL. I know, I deserve it because I am acting like an idiot.

But at least he really tries. He now cuts my hair dry because I told him that's the best way for curly hair and he uses a diffuser which he didn't do before etc. So I really have to give him credit. He doesn't totally mangle my hair. And I do love him. He's a great guy.

Sorry for the long digression. Just wanted to say I relate.

Enerchi, I agree with Laurie. Ask around, look for cuts you admire on people who have similar hair texture to you and then visit online reviews. This is where online reviews really help. I actually did visit a salon for curly hair in between my visits to my long term hairdresser (during one of my trying-to- break- up periods) and the new person I visited did a decent job. But I found her by googling curly hair and salons in my area and then read all the reviews to pick the best stylist match for me. And my haircuts are much cheaper than you guys...I only pay around $85 for a cut. Ofc there are salons around here that charge upwards of $150 but no thanks.

There are also hair forums that might be helpful. I know there is a curly girl forum where I pick up tips on what products to use etc. So perhaps there is a hair forum that might be of some use to you?

Good luck!!!! And I wouldn't go back to that other hairdresser. You specifically told her no layers and if she cannot follow those simple suggestions well, sayonara to her!

 

[SB621]

I love the girl that cuts my hair but not really love her skills. I bring in picutres of long layers and she give me short layers. I want long bangs in front (past my chin) and she cuts them so short I can't put them behind my ears. I'm afraid to go to someeone else in the salon because I obviously don't want to run into her and I really do like her. So now I have to find a whole new place!

I have found that I rely on word of mouth. I try to go to a stylist for a trim before I do anything major with my hair. I think that helps test the waters.

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

I have been through A LOT of hair stylists to get to where I am today. I love her. Been going to her at least the past 10 years. But I moved away and now she's 3 hours away from me. I tried going to a different hair stylist, my friend's partner. He tried, but he didn't give me the extra care like she does. Like making sure my hair doesn't look like I just got it cut. I really hate that. So back to her I go. I've leaned my lesson. I would rather drive 3 hours and see her than have a mediocre haircut 15 minutes away.

Enerchi, for me, I would break up with her. She's been your hairstylist for forever and she messed up? She should know you by now. Know exactly what looks good on you and what doesn't.

 

[House Cat]

The moment a stylist starts doing what THEY think is best for my hair without me giving them full creative freedom, they are OUT! She probably started putting layers in your hair because she couldn't get it even when it was all one length, even worse, don't you think?

Time to move on, guilt free.

 

[iLander]

The other day I was sitting on bench next to a grocery store, and noticed these people walking out of a cheap salon with great haircuts. I was really surprised! It's a cheap chain here, called Great Clips, and I was feeling daring and walked in. The prices were silly; $14 for a cut, $4 for shampoo, etc. I got a great cut for $35 (I opted for the blow dry/style for another $14) and I will go back to her again!

I was sick of waiting weeks for a $80 cut from my stylist who works on 3 people at a time! It's NOT rocket surgery.

I think what made it work is that it was a REALLY busy place, and the stylists have a lot of practice doing the whole neighborhood. Nothing too fancy, either, just simple stuff, which it turns out, my cut is. Sounds like your cut, straight across the bottom, is pretty darn simple. Ask around and don't dismiss those little strip center places. Ask grocery store cashiers, gas station people, store clerks, etc. People that need a good, cheap cut.

Also, I color my hair at home. Got to the store, bring a mirror. Hold the box top against your face, the box top color is pretty damn accurate. This costs $8 and is easy as pie. I've never paid for coloring, and the fancy stylist always complimented my color.

I've figured that I've saved $200 a month for color, and $100 for cuts (I get one cut every 6 months), and $50 for manicures (seriously, I skip those), which comes to over $4000 per year. That's a LOT of bling money!

 

[pregcurious]

I would ask people who have good haircuts. The color part is harder as some people can find it insulting if you ask them if they color their hair. I used to go to an expensive place at a big mall, but switched a very affordable place at a strip mall. The cuts are better, more affordable, and the hair stylist actually listens to me.

 

[JaneSmith]

I second iLander. Don't fear the at home hair colour.
If there is one near you, an Aveda institute is a cheaper option for a good salon cut and colour. Free hand massages too!

Missy, just try another stylist or two in between trips to your guy. Cheat a bit and see if its worth breaking up.

 

[Hospatogi]

I have the same problem. Over the years I tried various different hair stylists but even the ones that I liked were not able to replicate the same cut every time. Sometimes it would be great and others just meh.. And now that I got married and moved to another state it's worse. There are tons of overpriced hair salons in LA but I can't say that I've found any worth their price tag.
I would suggest asking friends and colleagues that have similar hair texture to yours for suggestions. I have curly thick hair so if long layers are not cut correctly my hair sticks out like a pyramid! Best of luck!

 

[luv2sparkle]

I had a stylist for years and I loved her cuts and color but she kept burning my neck with the curling iron. It never hurt and just glanced off but left an ugly mark. She would never even mention it or say she was sorry. Now my daughter does my hair. She was pretty new in the business when I left my other stylist but she does a great job. I still pay her what I was paying my other stylist because I know she struggles. I love going to the stores with her. I do my own touch ups for color at home with professional products. The best of both worlds.

 

[ame]

Check Yelp maybe for salons around you, or ask on FB to see if you can get a few recs from your friends.

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

Oops, I gave you no tips on finding a new one... Sorry!

 

[lliang_chi]

Enerchi, if you want a great haircut, I have an awesome stylist here in Chicago, and I know you're coming here in April. This is just my not so subtle way to have a regular PS visit. LOL!

TBH, find a woman who has hair similar to yours and who has a haircut you really like. Then ask her where she got it cut.

My stylist is my friend and thank goodness she rocks. I also don't care much about my hair, as long as it looks decent.

 

[packrat]

I've no suggestions..I've always just floated around, going to one until I get something I don't care for, or until I just want to try out someone new that others go to. I've been back and forth to two stylists here in town for years, and then started having a friend do it, until last year I went to one in a different town that a friend had started going to and I've loved everything she's done, so I don't forsee switching. I never said anything to the others about not liking anything, I just went someplace else for a while.

 

[misskittycat]

Oh, I totally get how you are feeling! I love my hairstylist-as a person...not so much as a hairdresser. He has been cutting my hair for over 20 years!! Yes, you heard right lol. I am that pathetic. I have tried to break up with him (as a hairdresser/client relationship that is) but have been unsuccessful so far. I got to the point of not having had my hair cut for a year LOL but then I went back to him. I am weak, what can I say.

My hair is curly and when I started going to him he would always blow it straight and it looked great. Over 10 years ago I decided to let it go natural and that is when I realized he just didn't know how to cut curly hair. It's not easy and you really need to *know* curly hair. Not every hair stylist does. In fact, an appalling number of them cannot do it right.

The problem is, he is such a great person and we really know each other so well. He makes the salon temp comfortable for me (I am very particular) when I am there and he just makes the overall experience so pleasant and fun that I guess I am willing to overlook the fact that he cannot cut my curly hair well. LOL. I know, I deserve it because I am acting like an idiot.

But at least he really tries. He now cuts my hair dry because I told him that's the best way for curly hair and he uses a diffuser which he didn't do before etc. So I really have to give him credit. He doesn't totally mangle my hair. And I do love him. He's a great guy.

Sorry for the long digression. Just wanted to say I relate.

Enerchi, I agree with Laurie. Ask around, look for cuts you admire on people who have similar hair texture to you and then visit online reviews. This is where online reviews really help. I actually did visit a salon for curly hair in between my visits to my long term hairdresser (during one of my trying-to- break- up periods) and the new person I visited did a decent job. But I found her by googling curly hair and salons in my area and then read all the reviews to pick the best stylist match for me. And my haircuts are much cheaper than you guys...I only pay around $85 for a cut. Ofc there are salons around here that charge upwards of $150 but no thanks.

There are also hair forums that might be helpful. I know there is a curly girl forum where I pick up tips on what products to use etc. So perhaps there is a hair forum that might be of some use to you?

Good luck!!!! And I wouldn't go back to that other hairdresser. You specifically told her no layers and if she cannot follow those simple suggestions well, sayonara to her!

This. Totally this.

I am a curly tops too and it's AMAZING how many people cannot cut curly hair. My stylist moved to Melbourne (I live in Australia) from Sydney. I used to fly an hour and a half to have her cut my hair every three months. Crazy.

Luckily, about 2 years ago, she went on maternity leave and gave me a recommendation for someone in my hometown so I wouldn't have to travel anymore. It has worked out great - the new stylist is fantastic and totally gets what I want.

I would definitely ask around. Ask your friends for recommendations. Look at award winners for signs of quality. And try try try!

 

[woofmama]

Enerchi there is a 5 star salon next to my store that I go to regularly. I have never been unhappy with their services and get color and cuts there. The owners are award winning stylists and the atmosphere is very upscale. My colorist is amazing. I get compliments on my hair all the time. If you want to try them while you're here I'll give you the info. I just changed my color from medium brown with highlights to a rich auburn brown. I change it fairly often and it always works because my colorist knows her stuff. I also recently went from boob length hair to an edgy bob, short in back and long in front. When I decide to make changes I feel like they really listen to me before touching my hair. If you get it done while visiting here, you should be able to find a salon where you live to follow the cut & color.

As far as breaking up goes, whenever I was unhappy in the past at other salons I left. I would ask other women whose hair I liked where they went and try them out. I have been at my current place for 5 years. I am extremely picky about my hair.
I would be very upset with your current stylist for the blatant disregard of your instructions.

I know how upsetting it can be to feel like your hair isn't how you want it. I hope you find a solution.

 

[LAJennifer]

I have the same problem. Over the years I tried various different hair stylists but even the ones that I liked were not able to replicate the same cut every time. Sometimes it would be great and others just meh.. And now that I got married and moved to another state it's worse. There are tons of overpriced hair salons in LA but I can't say that I've found any worth their price tag.
I would suggest asking friends and colleagues that have similar hair texture to yours for suggestions. I have curly thick hair so if long layers are not cut correctly my hair sticks out like a pyramid! Best of luck!

If you are in Los Angeles, I have quite a few stylists I could recommend. I went to Afshin at Estilo on Beverly Blvd for years and he never disappointed me. He does, however, typically run 45 minutes behind schedule. Another stylist at Estilo is Julio. He has his own salon elsewhere but still maintains his high end clients at Estilo, as his new salon is more "edgy". He is awesome, awesome, awesome!
http://shampoolio.com/

Anne Chevalier at Frederic Fekkai is great for cuts and blowouts (but $$$)

Hector at Cush Salon (also formerly from Estilo)

Alizabeth is also an awesome stylist - though I would rate her just under the others previously mentioned. http://www.alizabethhair.com/

 

[Enerchi]

Took me FOREVER, but I am embarking on a new relationship tomorrow!! I have found a new stylist and we have our first date at 4pm!! I've sent her pics, we've chatted over email (via her website "contact us" page) she has joked with me, she had suggestions right away based on my pics, she's in my area and her prices are VERY reasonable!!

Its seriously just like dating again!! I'm excited....but anxious. I listed all my flaws (well, not *ALL* my flaws, gotta leave a bit of mystery to the relationship ) but all my HAIR flaws (dry, frizzy, bad mullet, too blonde) and she seems up for it.

My prayer to the hair gods... "please let this be my new person! I'm tired of looking like a mess and I've been doing 'root touch ups' only since March!! Thank you - Enerchi"

 

[madelise]

Check Yelp maybe for salons around you, or ask on FB to see if you can get a few recs from your friends.

I 2nd Yelp. I found my hair stylist through Yelp just a few cities away from me. I pay $15 for hair cut + wash + style.. and my bangs are always trimmed for free. In fact, I haven't gotten a haircut in 2 years (my old damaged ends keep breaking off faster than it can grow out), and she still trims my bangs for free. I always just tip her.

 

[marcy]

Enerchi, finding the right hair stylist is such a hassle. I would definitely try to find someone new. I ask friends especially those who's hair looks good. I like the idea that if you see someone with a hair style you like ask them who does their hair. Word of mouth can be very beneficial. Good luck.

 

[ClassyRocks]

Took me FOREVER, but I am embarking on a new relationship tomorrow!! I have found a new stylist and we have our first date at 4pm!! I've sent her pics, we've chatted over email (via her website "contact us" page) she has joked with me, she had suggestions right away based on my pics, she's in my area and her prices are VERY reasonable!!

Its seriously just like dating again!! I'm excited....but anxious. I listed all my flaws (well, not *ALL* my flaws, gotta leave a bit of mystery to the relationship ) but all my HAIR flaws (dry, frizzy, bad mullet, too blonde) and she seems up for it.

My prayer to the hair gods... "please let this be my new person! I'm tired of looking like a mess and I've been doing 'root touch ups' only since March!! Thank you - Enerchi"

Hi Enerchi! I have been thinking about you and wondering how your appointment went1 What do you think? Hair has been on my mind lately.

 

[Enerchi]

ClassyRocks! I LOVE IT!!! She was fabulous!!! I liked her right away --- she wanted to hear what I had to say first, what I thought I wanted, what I don't like about it now, what lead to the 'break up' with the previous person ( I told her I was not so into the whole mullet look - shocking, I know!) how much time do I spend on my hair and if I could have any style, what would I like to have. I really felt listened to!! (Geez, it is TOTALLY like dating, isn't it??) Then after I said my bit, she gave me her thoughts and suggestions and then from that, we narrowed to her top 2 ideas for me. I wasn't being "told" what to do but I was included and she really took my wave/frizz into account --- Ah!! I'm infatuated w my new stylist!!!

So -I did get it redyed again (I always toy with the "let it grow out" idea and stop dyeing my hair, but I just can't bring myself to stop) and its a much softer light brown blonde, not a brassy blonde like it was previously. Its cut into a layered style but long layers to work with the flips/waves and so far, 2 days now, I've been happy with my own at home results!!

Its still going to take me some time to sort out how much product to use to get it just right, but I'm very happy!!

And - -- her tip for dry flyaway hair that is prone to frizz, was to soak your hair twice a week if you can, in olive oil on the ends and shaft, avoiding the scalp, and cover in plastic wrap or a towel for as long as you can - sleep in it if possible, she said. Within a few weeks, your hair will no longer be frizzy. I'm going to try that experiment to see if it improves the texture of my hair - I'll keep you posted!

(and thanks for asking! )

 

[ClassyRocks]

I am so glad you had a good experience with your new hairdresser. Why don't they all listen? It doesn't seem that hard and results in a bigger tip for them! If my hair doesn't look good, I don't feel good.

I can totally see where a lt. brn. blonde would look better with your skin color. I have to have beige blonde highlights since brassy ones just don't flatter my skin coloring. Don't get me started on figuring out how much product to use! Yesterday, I thought it was about the right amount . . . just needed tweaking. So, today I tweaked, and it was too much! Ughhhh

That is interesting about the olive oil. I am going to try it some morning; I don't think I could stand to have it on my hair all night long. Did you try the Argon oil yet? I finally ordered some this week . . . if you read my thread you will see that I have become an overnight product junkie!

 

[Enerchi]

yes indeed!! I've been following that thread as well! I did end up ordering some Josie Maran Argan oil, which my sweet DH drove over a super huge bridge to go get it for me (I'm scared of bridges and I'd just lose my mind if I had to go with him, just to turn around and come back over it again...) and since getting it last saturday, my hair has VASTLY improved!! I can't believe how amazing that oil is!

I'm so glad I heard about it! What a difference having good hair makes - I feel better about myself - how crazy is that? Its only hair... !!

 

[sonnyjane]

And - -- her tip for dry flyaway hair that is prone to frizz, was to soak your hair twice a week if you can, in olive oil on the ends and shaft, avoiding the scalp, and cover in plastic wrap or a towel for as long as you can - sleep in it if possible, she said. Within a few weeks, your hair will no longer be frizzy. I'm going to try that experiment to see if it improves the texture of my hair - I'll keep you posted!

(and thanks for asking! )

I have very thick, dry/frizzy hair and for the last 15 years (wow time flies), I've been putting tanning oil in my hair anytime I blow-dry it. Sounds totally weird but it's been working for me, so the olive oil approach makes sense!

 

[Enerchi]

Tanning oil?? wow - I wouldn't have thought of that, but it really DOES make sense, doesn't it? It needs to be soaked in a rich emollient that can penetrate the hair shaft. I don't think I relish (HA!! "relish"!!) the thought of smelling like olive oil, so maybe there might be an alternative in my cupboard... sesame? peanut? ... I know I'm going to end up craving food at the end of it all! haha!!

 

[sonnyjane]

Tanning oil?? wow - I wouldn't have thought of that, but it really DOES make sense, doesn't it? It needs to be soaked in a rich emollient that can penetrate the hair shaft. I don't think I relish (HA!! "relish"!!) the thought of smelling like olive oil, so maybe there might be an alternative in my cupboard... sesame? peanut? ... I know I'm going to end up craving food at the end of it all! haha!!

Ha. At least tanning oil smells like coconuts/bananas, not olives hehe. For a time I tried that John Frieda anti-frizz serum but it was too greasy. Just a spray of tanning oil in my hands rubbed onto my hair did the trick and I've been doing it ever since!

 

[momhappy]

Took me FOREVER, but I am embarking on a new relationship tomorrow!! I have found a new stylist and we have our first date at 4pm!! I've sent her pics, we've chatted over email (via her website "contact us" page) she has joked with me, she had suggestions right away based on my pics, she's in my area and her prices are VERY reasonable!!

Its seriously just like dating again!! I'm excited....but anxious. I listed all my flaws (well, not *ALL* my flaws, gotta leave a bit of mystery to the relationship ) but all my HAIR flaws (dry, frizzy, bad mullet, too blonde) and she seems up for it.

My prayer to the hair gods... "please let this be my new person! I'm tired of looking like a mess and I've been doing 'root touch ups' only since March!! Thank you - Enerchi"

Yay! So glad to hear it. After reading your first post, I was thinking that you definitely needed to break up with your current stylist - what you described sounded awful. I know that hair can be expensive, but if you find the right person (and your budget allows), spending more can be SO worth it. I will be crossing my fingers that you find your perfect stylist. keep us posted.

 

[Sayde64]

Enerchi,I am glad you found a new great stylist.

It has been a long time since the last post on your thread but just thought I would add my two cents -- just in case any readers are in a similar situation.

I have been going to Supercuts - just -- forever. It works for me. The two things that I think make it work -- first, you are almost always having your hair cut by someone who has never cut your hair before. This is actually a contributor to success, I think, because they assume nothing! They have no memory of any prior hair cut to work off. They really want you to tell them exactly what to do. They have no notions about being creative -- they just want to execute what you ask for, with no surprises.

The second factor -- you have to say exactly what you want. Exactly. Leave no room for interpretation.

I have never had color so that's not an issue, but I am very particular about the way I want it cut.