Boomer Remover

[Missy]

 

[cmd2014]

This is so true. My summer daycare teachers all knew about the beatings, but it wasn't a crime back then, unless they killed you. My mother always told me that if I ever told anyone, she would kill me and be happy to go to prison over it. Things have really changed in that regard...

Oh Sandy, I'm so sorry that happened to you. I was thinking more along the lines of things like getting even very young kids go to the store by themselves to buy cigarettes and groceries, punting really young kids "outside to play" for the full day without parental supervision or even checking in (or dropping us off at a community center or swimming pool or amusement park all day every day well before the age where most kids now would be allowed to be unsupervised), letting us go literally everywhere without asking any questions whatsoever about where we are going or who we are with, making us cook our own meals and do our own laundry by age 7 or 8 (especially girls). It was really neglectful parenting compared to today's standards. But yes, corporal punishment (and physical abuse) was also common and overlooked in ways that it wouldn't be now. As was, sadly, sexual abuse.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

You know I will say something for Gen X and that is that we were highly functional at a young age. It drives me crazy that now it's looked at as neglectful to send say a twelve year old to a local store to buy something, people will call the cops if they don't have an adult with them! I remember our son being 10 or 11 and needing sunscreen for camp, drove him to CVS and was going to send him inside with cash while I waited in the car. DH said no, he is too young...Whaaaaat?

I remember walking with my best friend across the city to Friendly's we would get seated and order two sundaes, ate them and paid and left a tip, we were around 11 possibly younger. So in one sense our parents did leave us much to ourselves but in turn we developed some street smarts, common sense and critical thinking skills.

Btw, I'm not talking about neglectful parents, that's different.

 

[SallyB]

Nope I was in a violent home, drug addicted mother, drunk father, violence, abuse, neglect, guns, I left home at 17 but I had 2 little brothers that were 4 and 5 years younger than me that I had to take care of and returned as much as I could.. One bro is insane the other died of lung cancer at 58. I was diagnosed 2x with PTSD, I worked since I was 15, my mother tried to kill me at 13, my brother tried to kill my mother when he was 31, my sister was in a mental institution twice, mugged, destroyed emotionally.. I had loads and tons of fun and continual violence so you aren't the only one who had it bad. That is the problem with people they think their the ONLY ones who've struggled and made it.. Both my brothers are convicted felons for drugs, both had just a felony on driving drunk, one bro had drunk driving convictions in 6 states, sobriety ha!... I never had a car till I was 24. When my grandmother died when I was 13, my life ended, no where to go no one cared, not one person.. Ima sure many people have survived mental, physical abuse, but scaring is there.. I've had therapy on and off for years, I take no crap from anyone because I was on my own basically at 13. Sex? there's a story I'll never share again here.. sheesh. So maybe you were living in a car but I was living in hell and taking care of my brothers because my older sister was too delicate and cowered by my parents afraid of dying I guess.. but I wasn't. Life sucks, then ya die. You are not unique, I'm not afraid of a bully. My brothers and sister did not make it emotionally, they were devoid, empty. Sad.

[/QUOTE]

@Bayek I’m really sorry this happened to you.

 

[SallyB]

This is so true. My summer daycare teachers all knew about the beatings, but it wasn't a crime back then, unless they killed you. My mother always told me that if I ever told anyone, she would kill me and be happy to go to prison over it. Things have really changed in that regard...

@SandyinAnaheim I‘m so sorry this happened to you too.

 

[Tekate]

If you READ what I said, Boomers were the ME generation, not true, I was stating that labels are thrown on generations that are not necessary accurate.

“Millennials are the gen that won’t grow up” is an insult. Maybe the status quo has changed and what boomers view as “growing up” doesn’t apply anymore.

 

[Tekate]

Thank you so much. I raised myself. These kinds of upbringings scar for life, I used to tell my sister (the one with 2 masters) you know G--- we are humpty dumpty eggs, cracked beyond and put back together but not the same. Ruined all 4 of us kids..

BUT everyone has a story, I know this, I'm sure you have a story Sally, if it's a great life always that's wonderful, if your story is strife, I'm here to read that also.

Again, thanks for caring, means mucho to this old babe.



@Bayek I’m really sorry this happened to you.
[/QUOTE]

 

[Tekate]

Liberals?

When your sick everyone thinks they have the right to lecture you. From boomers to gen z and that was just in the last week.
Who should i blame?

 

[Tekate]

Are you comparing Gen Xers to millenials when you say this?

You know I will say something for Gen X and that is that we were highly functional at a young age. It drives me crazy that now it's looked at as neglectful to send say a twelve year old to a local store to buy something, people will call the cops if they don't have an adult with them! I remember our son being 10 or 11 and needing sunscreen for camp, drove him to CVS and was going to send him inside with cash while I waited in the car. DH said no, he is too young...Whaaaaat?

I remember walking with my best friend across the city to Friendly's we would get seated and order two sundaes, ate them and paid and left a tip, we were around 11 possibly younger. So in one sense our parents did leave us much to ourselves but in turn we developed some street smarts, common sense and critical thinking skills.

Btw, I'm not talking about neglectful parents, that's different.

 

[chemgirl]

If you READ what I said, Boomers were the ME generation, not true, I was stating that labels are thrown on generations that are not necessary accurate.

Sorry my mistake.

I would think that you, as someone who has missed the point of practically everything I’ve written in this thread, would sympathize with a lack of reading comprehension.

 

[Karl_K]

Liberals?

Some were but not a high enough percentage to take all the blame.

 

[Tekate]

Well I would think that you, as someone who has totally missed the point of practically everything I've written in this thread could at least comprehend what I say.

Ya know, all ya had to do with say, "Sorry I misinterpreted what you said" I wouldve said "hey no prob I've done it too" but you continued to insult me, it's boring, it's banal and unnecessary, I don't give a fu-- if you agree with me, like me or not, but insults are unnecessary, I don't believe I usually throw the first insult but I react to an insult, I suppose that is wrong, but it is how I am.

The Psychology of Insults

Having been through an election that was won on the basis of insults, it's time to study why we so often put others down.

www.psychologytoday.com

Since you missed my point maybe you should go back read all that has been said, because all I say is; all generations have had stress, pain, bills, etc.. it's not new.

Sorry my mistake.

I would think that you, as someone who has missed the point of practically everything I’ve written in this thread, would sympathize with a lack of reading comprehension.

 

[Tekate]

republicans?

Some were but not a high enough percentage to take all the blame.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

@Bayek, no, I'm not comparing Gen X to millenials or any other generation. Just speaking on my experience.

 

[chemgirl]

Well I would think that you, as someone who has totally missed the point of practically everything I've written in this thread could at least comprehend.

Ya know, all ya had to do with say, "Sorry I misinterpreted what you said" I wouldve said "hey no prob I've done it too" but noooo snark rules

It's boring.

No problem, I’m just reacting to your obvious rudeness by sending it back at ya. You give snark you get snark. Fair play regardless of age.

 

[Tekate]

No problem, I’m just reacting to your obvious rudeness by sending it back at ya. You give snark you get snark. Fair play regardless of age.

Well go back and read again because I was NOT THE ONE to start being rude, and if you had read my post and comprehended it you'd see I said that.. jeezus.

Fair game regardless of age goes both ways.

 

[Elizabeth35]

@Bayek, no, I'm not comparing Gen X to millenials or any other generation. Just speaking on my experience.

FWIW Yada--I am a Boomer and my Mom sent me to get smokes 3 blocks away at around age 7-8. I don't in any way view her as a bad Mom--it was just different.
We were also allowed to take the bus by ourselves around age 8 to downtown. But this was Omaha in the mid-60's.
Downside was there was absolutely no awareness of sexual predators and one of our elderly neighbors was a creeper.
Upside is we had a lot of freedom and no fear of serial murderers, school shooters, etc.

As a boomer parent in the late 80's and beyond, I was far more protective of my children. They tease me now about making them hold my hand in parking lots until they were 10-12. On the flip side, my sister in the 90's left her 7 year old home alone in the summer with no child care.
So I guess parenting has a wide spectrum no matter your generation.

 

[Tekate]

@Bayek, no, I'm not comparing Gen X to millenials or any other generation. Just speaking on my experience.

If I say as a boomer I did the same thing, would you think it was snarky, would you think it 'oh oldsters bashing Gen X"? because I am not, I'm saying I did the same thing you did.. I walked everywhere and would go to the soda fountain by myself and would buy an vanilla egg cream, go to the movies by myself at age 10.. as you say, those things build kids confidence and critical thinking skills.

 

[chemgirl]

Well go back and read again because I was NOT THE ONE to start being rude, and if you had read my post and comprehended it you'd see I said that.. jeezus.

Fair game regardless of age goes both ways.

Your first post directed at me was a lecture on how I should (in caps) be living my life.

Then you attacked another poster and I responded to that.

But ok boomer.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

@Elizabeth35
@Bayek

I totally understand what you're both saying.

 

[Elizabeth35]

Okay--I am going to ask a perhaps inflammatory question.
This is a diamond forum. Meaning those of us here like shiny luxury items, no matter our generation.

Do millennials think that boomers or other generations are inherently evil because some of us can afford these sparkly things (even though there are many millenials posting some pretty spectacular stuff here)?
Because if Boomers are being blamed for millennials not having affordable education or being able to first time homes or find affordable rentals, why are those millennials on a diamond site?

This is a sincere question and I am not trying to get flamed. I guess my point is that there are boomers who are poor and boomers that are well off. Same for millennials. And generalizations are fodder for fools.

 

[Elizabeth35]

@Elizabeth35
@Bayek

I totally understand what you're both saying.

Thanks Yada. I know tone is hard to read in posts. And I am not disagreeing with you in the least!
But isn't it interesting how varied we are in regards to protecting our kids?
Mine are in their 20's and 30's and I still want to protect them-lol.

 

[MrsBlue]

Okay--I am going to ask a perhaps inflammatory question.
This is a diamond forum. Meaning those of us here like shiny luxury items, no matter our generation.

Do millennials think that boomers or other generations are inherently evil because some of us can afford these sparkly things (even though there are many millenials posting some pretty spectacular stuff here)?
Because if Boomers are being blamed for millennials not having affordable education or being able to first time homes or find affordable rentals, why are those millennials on a diamond site?

This is a sincere question and I am not trying to get flamed. I guess my point is that there are boomers who are poor and boomers that are well off. Same for millennials. And generalizations are fodder for fools.

This is a great question! My Gen Z son doesn't see the sense in spending money on "exploitative mineral business" stuff like diamonds. He doesn't think we're evil but he says that this type of luxury spending will go the way of the dinosaur.

I respect his opinion. I'm also very interested to know whether the young ladies agree.

 

[Tekate]

@ItsMainelyYou I have a website for a boy I knew who died in Viet Nam, there were 4 boys from town who died in Viet Nam, there was one boy in my high school who died in Viet Nam, we came home every day and the ones of us who watched the news heard the deathcount in Viet Nam today. I lived hearing 1 thousand killed today in Viet Nam, I knew guys there, lots of them.. it was mind boggling but I was at least 13 by then..

I grew up near Newtown, tons of friends in Newtown, it was horrid and I agree kids today are worried, from the start of my younger son's high school years till the end, I was able to walk in and sign in and assist to every time I went in they copied my license I had to wear it on my jacket or whatever, so YES this worry for kids is horrible..

Here is some reading I have done, as I said I know people who have grands in Newtown and living there is hellish for the parents especially.

How to Talk to Kids About School Shootings - Child Mind Institute

Finding proactive ways to deal with anxiety over school shootings. What to say to kids who might be feeling worried, and what to do about your own anxiety.

childmind.org

or this:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/millions-of-kids-havent-lived-through-a-school-shooting-but-fear-that-they-will/2018/03/01/59e778fa-1d71-11e8-ae5a-16e60e4605f3_story.html

two different perspectives and I believe both. My sister's kids had an active shooter back in the late 1990s, one teacher killed. You can't talk about gun laws because the right get apeshit.

It is hard, it really is and I know that. I know there are boomers alive today you saw and participated in massacres in Viet Nam, I know my own Dad said the most afraid he ever was at 19 was when the kamikaze pilots came after his ship.

I do know my son is raising his daughter much more free range than I did, the baby is only 14mos so I don't know what my son and DIL will do when my granddaughter goes to school.. but I do know they let her pick up her pacifier like 1000000x off the floor where they have a dog and a cat.. they are much more lax, so I hope that continues for my ganddaughter but I made many mistakes because of the way I grew up so my kids had more fears than they should have because I was very fearful and thought everything would happen to me, I would always say: "how do you know it won't happen to you XY"? it's very very hard, and I do think every generation get's harder because of the internet, and apps etc.

When my younger son was in college they could only have clear backpacks but there weren't metal detectors everywhere because it was a huge university..

My parents waked home from school.
I walked home from school
I never let my kids walk home from school
I hope my kids go back to allowing their kids to walk home from school.

Great conversation and thank you, you gave me a lot to think about

I appreciate your view. I don't say this to invalidate your reality, please don't misunderstand. I'm sure this was terrifying and left many psychological scars. I just want to highlight their reality as well.

These kids have seen literal blood splashed in their hallways, in their classrooms, on their faces and hands, and held the bodies of their friends. They watch 50 people gunned down at a concert, they watched the news of 49 die and 53 wounded at a nightclub multiplied exponentially in event after event. People they know. In their neighborhood.
Their daily existence is having to wear bullet proof backpacks and go through series of metal detectors with armed guards depending on location. Everyday. They learn to barricade doors and staunch gunshot wounds in class. They learn to run. They are taught how to hide. They learn to file out of school with their hands in the air so they aren't shot by SWAT teams accidentally. It is has the feel of intermittent warzone.
Their reality is one of immediacy. There has never been a time like this.

 

[chemgirl]

Okay--I am going to ask a perhaps inflammatory question.
This is a diamond forum. Meaning those of us here like shiny luxury items, no matter our generation.

Do millennials think that boomers or other generations are inherently evil because some of us can afford these sparkly things (even though there are many millenials posting some pretty spectacular stuff here)?
Because if Boomers are being blamed for millennials not having affordable education or being able to first time homes or find affordable rentals, why are those millennials on a diamond site?

This is a sincere question and I am not trying to get flamed. I guess my point is that there are boomers who are poor and boomers that are well off. Same for millennials. And generalizations are fodder for fools.

I don’t know anyone in my friend group who cares about jewelry! I do and used this site to find pieces that were the best quality for an affordable price.

I have never heard anyone say anything negative about an older person and their bling. It doesn’t seem to be on the radar for the most part.

I will say that friends (and myself) were engaged with non-traditional wedding rings. I have a Cartier Trinity ring, a good friend has a pearl ring (and a box of replacement pearls). I see a lot of simple diamond bands. This can lead to hostility if an older coworker or relative comes in and discounts the ring for not being traditional. This happened to me a few times “What he can’t afford a diamond?” Meanwhile I have other diamond jewelry and just love my Trinity ring. We picked it out on a trip to Paris cue “You could have put that money towards a diamond” and then talk about how everyone has a diamond.

For the most part, it’s not that younger people blame boomers for financial hardship. It’s the fact that some boomers tell us what we should be doing without taking into consideration that the world is vastly different than it was 40 years ago. Nobody wants to be lectured about living up to an unrealistic standard.

 

[Elizabeth35]

I don’t know anyone in my friend group who cares about jewelry! I do and used this site to find pieces that were the best quality for an affordable price.

I have never heard anyone say anything negative about an older person and their bling. It doesn’t seem to be on the radar for the most part.

I will say that friends (and myself) were engaged with non-traditional wedding rings. I have a Cartier Trinity ring, a good friend has a pearl ring (and a box of replacement pearls). I see a lot of simple diamond bands. This can lead to hostility if an older coworker or relative comes in and discounts the ring for not being traditional. This happened to me a few times “What he can’t afford a diamond?” Meanwhile I have other diamond jewelry and just love my Trinity ring. We picked it out on a trip to Paris cue “You could have put that money towards a diamond” and then talk about how everyone has a diamond.

For the most part, it’s not that younger people blame boomers for financial hardship. It’s the fact that some boomers tell us what we should be doing without taking into consideration that the world is vastly different than it was 40 years ago. Nobody wants to be lectured about living up to an unrealistic standard.

Amen. I was engaged in 1980 with no engagement ring and $18 wedding band. We had no $. I got the same comments about marrying someone who didn't buy me an engagement ring. I appreciate the embarrassment and hostility that can cause.
So---that is not a millennial vs. boomer thing, just more of an economic or personal values thing,
I am a huge fan of non-traditional engagement or wedding rings. It's nice that people can get what works for them.

Having been through that situation, I try to be very cognizant of not shaming anyone or embarrassing them. Any ring is a good ring if it signifies love and commitment and personal taste!

 

[OreoRosies86]

Okay--I am going to ask a perhaps inflammatory question.
This is a diamond forum. Meaning those of us here like shiny luxury items, no matter our generation.

Do millennials think that boomers or other generations are inherently evil because some of us can afford these sparkly things (even though there are many millenials posting some pretty spectacular stuff here)?
Because if Boomers are being blamed for millennials not having affordable education or being able to first time homes or find affordable rentals, why are those millennials on a diamond site?

This is a sincere question and I am not trying to get flamed. I guess my point is that there are boomers who are poor and boomers that are well off. Same for millennials. And generalizations are fodder for fools.

I joined PS for colored stones and don’t know if I have ever joined Rocky Talky for more than a few minutes. Not all jewelry purchases are huge and significant, especially with so many indie vendors who offer flexible payment and pieces that don’t break the bank.

 

[chemgirl]

Oh and I'm sorry you're frightened at getting older, you too will become wiser, it just takes knowledge..

@Bayek sorry for the confusion! This right here is an attack. I’m just pointing it out in case you didn’t realize and would like to apologize to @SandyinAnaheim

 

[Tekate]

I have loved diamonds since I was probaby prenatal, my mom had a gorgeous transitional diamond and it was rainbows and I loved it and was fascinated by the colors . My first husband gave me his great grandmother's 1.50CT OEC E color I loved that ring.. then I had various e rings till this one I have now, a 2.95 I color SI 1 ACA.. I'm done, but I still want a OEC but right now can't.. certainly the love of diamonds got me here, then I met Missy and MrsB and the NIRDIs and I was hooked, I love PS.

Amen. I was engaged in 1980 with no engagement ring and $18 wedding band. We had no $. I got the same comments about marrying someone who didn't buy me an engagement ring. I appreciate the embarrassment and hostility that can cause.
So---that is not a millennial vs. boomer thing, just more of an economic or personal values thing,
I am a huge fan of non-traditional engagement or wedding rings. It's nice that people can get what works for them.

Having been through that situation, I try to be very cognizant of not shaming anyone or embarrassing them. Any ring is a good ring if it signifies love and commitment and personal taste!

 

[Tekate]

@Bayek sorry for the confusion! This right here is an attack. I’m just pointing it out in case you didn’t realize and would like to apologize to @SandyinAnaheim

That's an attack? ooooh I dunno, I've done way worse, but @SandyinAnaheim (I think she blocked me but Sandy I am profusely sorry for saying you too will become wiser as you age that was wrong, mean and I'm sorry! truly..