BLING Foresight By Proxy

[Steel]

This is a timely topic.

I voted yes but I don''t ever feel smug, even satisfied when another posters project does not pan out in the long term.

I say timely because recently I saw a posting of an item that was glaringly ''wonky'' (to me). I even called DH over and asked if he could see it (he didn''t until I told him where to look). I asked if he thought I should post my observation and he said I shouldn''t. I didn''t. I hope that any of you would tell me if you saw ANY teeny tiny flaw in my pieces but am cautious to do the same to others. Equally I would be worried to mention any criticism of a posters choice even if I feel it is misguided; unless of course I have some interactive history with the poster; I would and have gently offered my POV.

Maisie, I love to see your projects and am very sorry your halo did not work out in the way you hoped. I did gently offer my pov at the time about waiting for the stone upgrade instead and so I feel happy that I did offer you another POV, I would have regretted not telling you. I was sad to see that it was not what you expected and wish you success for this upgrade and reset.

 

[Maisie]

Date: 3/18/2009 5:51:09 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 3/18/2009 5:39:16 PM
Author: Maisie
I recall one person who seemed to invest her whole life into her ring. /// I keep upgrading. I wonder if that annoys people. I hope it doesn''t. I really enjoy it!

I recall that person too -- wonder if we mean the same one LOL!!! Re: multiple upgrades ... it doesn''t make any sense that it would be annoying. We''re a DIAMOND enthusiasts community for pete''s sake -- but I do think that as humans we tend to want other people to be happy. To be satsified. So maybe it *IS* disappointing on some level when you follow a project, maybe offer help, witness the gushes & raves & many, many pictures of the Bling Holy Grail when it arrives --- and then see relatively soon that the owner is posting about problems with it or regrets or is considering trading it in for the BBT (bigger better thing).

I would think we are thinking about the same person

I see your point about going through the whole journey with someone just to feel a bit surprised when they aren''t happy. I know a lot of people have been dragged through my saga!

It is true it took me aback when someone said my ring was like a cocktail style. I suppose I felt that there have been many halo''s on here... lots have been bigger than mine.. yet mine was singled out to be named and shamed!

In all honesty I was probably at the point where I knew it wasn''t for me and that was just the icing on the cake.

 

[Kaleigh]

Maisie,
I enjoy your upgrades!!

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 3/18/2009 5:46:36 PM
Author: Gypsy
Well, when people ask questions like ''Has anyone felt like this..'' and the way they are feeling indicates compulsive shopping, OCD, or generally something of that sort. I do normally post the truth. You, Deco, have done that for me during my wedding when I was fixating on something. So did others. And I always appreciate it.

Thanks Gypsy! Its hard to keep quiet when something sounds so *familiar*, yanno? Also hard to know WHO is up for going a bit deeper than "Love it YAY!" & HOW to say things in a way that conveys good intentions. Tricky, tricky, tricky.

 

[Maisie]

Date: 3/18/2009 5:53:33 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Well, I think you will be happy with what you are getting. Classic, gorgeous look. I loved all the looks actually, but I remember seeing the halo video and thinking, ''DAYUM!'' (And I''m not the type to say ''dayum'') It was a serious bling look and I thought it was going to be the one for you.

But practical life sets in. I remember being shocked when MrsS gave her her Daniel K ring. I LOVED that ring too. I''m no longer into halos but can''t deny that the ring on the finger has such impact!

If you could see where I live you would understand why that ring was just too much. I live in a predominately lower class area. Is it politically correct to say that? Anyway, a lot of people I know are on unemployment or in low wage employment. I just felt wrong with that big ring. I am keeping the setting though. I plan to put a lovely Richard Homer Sapphire in it. I will still wear it on a night out etc.

 

[Upgradable]

Date: 3/18/2009 4:41:23 PM
Author: purrfectpear
I''ve seen a few people who could never leave well enough alone, and it was obvious that the next iteration would not scratch their itch. Smug? Not really, just a

There have been a few people who''ve asked for copious opinions and help, then gone off and done the exact opposite. A little frustrating, but hey, it''s their money.

Hey..... I resemble that remark!!!!

First off, some terrific responses from some terrific people!! Gosh, I love that you guys can honestly trim away the fat from some of these situations and leave just the lean, juicy bits to contemplate.

I know that it is not unusual for me to have several projects of differing size and scope rattling around in my brain, and I avail myself frequently to the collective Pricescope view. I''m not a person who tends to take myself too seriously, nor do I feel a personal need to satisfy others. So, when I ask for opinions and input, it is so that I can see pieces from multiple perspectives in order to get a fuller view before solidifying my decisions. It is also not unusual for me to ask for others'' thoughts and then appearing to totally discount them when unveiling a finished piece. It''s all part of my "artistic process" (read with a healthy helping of self-deprication).

I do sometimes really empathize with people who are extraordinarily dependent on others points of view, or who are so very trend conscious, because I worry that about six months down the road they''re going to be cursing what "those Pricescopers talked me into!"

As long as people truly please themselves with the outcome of their project, I''m happy for them!

 

[Maisie]

Date: 3/18/2009 5:58:08 PM
Author: Steel
This is a timely topic.

Maisie, I love to see your projects and am very sorry your halo did not work out in the way you hoped. I did gently offer my pov at the time about waiting for the stone upgrade instead and so I feel happy that I did offer you another POV, I would have regretted not telling you. I was sad to see that it was not what you expected and wish you success for this upgrade and reset.

Thank you sweetheart. I do get carried away don''t I? If you lived that little bit closer you could have popped round and given me a quick slap and told me to calm down and wait!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 3/18/2009 6:02:13 PM
Author: Maisie

Date: 3/18/2009 5:53:33 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Well, I think you will be happy with what you are getting. Classic, gorgeous look. I loved all the looks actually, but I remember seeing the halo video and thinking, ''DAYUM!'' (And I''m not the type to say ''dayum'') It was a serious bling look and I thought it was going to be the one for you.

But practical life sets in. I remember being shocked when MrsS gave her her Daniel K ring. I LOVED that ring too. I''m no longer into halos but can''t deny that the ring on the finger has such impact!

If you could see where I live you would understand why that ring was just too much. I live in a predominately lower class area. Is it politically correct to say that? Anyway, a lot of people I know are on unemployment or in low wage employment. I just felt wrong with that big ring. I am keeping the setting though. I plan to put a lovely Richard Homer Sapphire in it. I will still wear it on a night out etc.

yeah, that''s the hard part about coveting...sometimes we see such lovely things on pricescope that we don''t realize it doesn''t work for our lifestyle. Even my simple solitaire doesn''t work for me now since it scratches up the kid. I can see why MrsS gave up her halo with three kids. And what you are saying makes sense about your situation as well.

But do you wonder why we all don''t think about these things BEFORE we proceed? If we know one another, should we be the voice of reason? Should I say, "Hey, do you really want that ring with a baby around?" Or is the right answer "What a great ring to wear on a night out! We all need a treat!"

I guess that might be a little of what Deco is alluding to. Some of us have been here so long, we not only see the project, but know the PERSONALITY and lifestyle behind the project.

 

[Maisie]

Date: 3/18/2009 6:01:06 PM
Author: Kaleigh
Maisie,
I enjoy your upgrades!!

So do I!!

 

[Maisie]

Date: 3/18/2009 6:06:58 PM
Author: TravelingGal
yeah, that''s the hard part about coveting...sometimes we see such lovely things on pricescope that we don''t realize it doesn''t work for our lifestyle. Even my simple solitaire doesn''t work for me now since it scratches up the kid. I can see why MrsS gave up her halo with three kids. And what you are saying makes sense about your situation as well.

But do you wonder why we all don''t think about these things BEFORE we proceed? If we know one another, should we be the voice of reason? Should I say, ''Hey, do you really want that ring with a baby around?'' Or is the right answer ''What a great ring to wear on a night out! We all need a treat!''

I guess that might be a little of what Deco is alluding to. Some of us have been here so long, we not only see the project, but know the PERSONALITY and lifestyle behind the project.

Its very true. I think a lot of us do the gushing thing. I wonder how much of a disservice I am doing by being that way. If someone buys something totally unsuitable just because we ''push'' them, thats not right is it?

I think in future I will think my responses through a bit more before I post. I hope people will do the same for me. I promise not to have a tantrum or feel sorry for myself.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 3/18/2009 6:06:58 PM
Author: TravelingGal
If we know one another, should we be the voice of reason? Should I say, ''Hey, do you really want that ring with a baby around?'' Or is the right answer ''What a great ring to wear on a night out! We all need a treat!''

I guess that might be a little of what Deco is alluding to. Some of us have been here so long, we not only see the project, but know the PERSONALITY and lifestyle behind the project.

Exactly ... its a delicate dance and, ha, I can''t dance.

Speaking of "rings to wear on a night out" vs. e-ring ... another way to go is what LaurenthePartier does: RHR & band city! Rather than futz with her e-ring, she quenches her bling lust with *additions*. If I had a bigger bling budget right now, that''s probably the route I *personally* would take. Though there''s not too, too much I''d be yearning for really. (Luckily!)

 

[vespergirl]

Please, I don''t trust MYSELF to reset my own diamond, because I''m afraid I''ll regret it! I''ve been trying to figure out how I want to reset it for 1.5 years, and I still haven''t made up my mind, because I''m afraid once I get it done I''ll wish I had done something else! So I guess I''m just going to enjoy my RB in a solitaire until then

 

[Ellen]

Date: 3/18/2009 6:06:58 PM
Author: TravelingGal
yeah, that's the hard part about coveting...sometimes we see such lovely things on pricescope that we don't realize it doesn't work for our lifestyle. Even my simple solitaire doesn't work for me now since it scratches up the kid. I can see why MrsS gave up her halo with three kids. And what you are saying makes sense about your situation as well.

But do you wonder why we all don't think about these things BEFORE we proceed? If we know one another, should we be the voice of reason? Should I say, 'Hey, do you really want that ring with a baby around?' Or is the right answer 'What a great ring to wear on a night out! We all need a treat!'

I guess that might be a little of what Deco is alluding to. Some of us have been here so long, we not only see the project, but know the PERSONALITY and lifestyle behind the project.

I do. Maybe it's my age, but I've become so damn thoughtful/practical with lifestyle/social circle/financial sitution that it's not even funny. But, I have no regrets either, save one. And no, I don't want to discuss it.

 

[Kim N]

Date: 3/18/2009 6:35:03 PM
Author: vespergirl
Please, I don''t trust MYSELF to reset my own diamond, because I''m afraid I''ll regret it! I''ve been trying to figure out how I want to reset it for 1.5 years, and I still haven''t made up my mind, because I''m afraid once I get it done I''ll wish I had done something else! So I guess I''m just going to enjoy my RB in a solitaire until then

Yes, this is exactly how I feel! Fortunately I don''t have to decide any time soon, but I''m afraid I''ll regret whatever I choose too! In the meantime, I bought a relatively inexpensive solitaire setting for my RB so that I won''t feel I''ve wasted too much money when I change settings.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 3/18/2009 6:01:06 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 3/18/2009 5:46:36 PM

Author: Gypsy

Well, when people ask questions like 'Has anyone felt like this..' and the way they are feeling indicates compulsive shopping, OCD, or generally something of that sort. I do normally post the truth. You, Deco, have done that for me during my wedding when I was fixating on something. So did others. And I always appreciate it.

Thanks Gypsy! Its hard to keep quiet when something sounds so *familiar*, yanno? Also hard to know WHO is up for going a bit deeper than 'Love it YAY!' & HOW to say things in a way that conveys good intentions. Tricky, tricky, tricky.

It is tricky. And in some ways it's easier and harder with long time members. Because we 'know' each other better and have context to understand their criticism (when they offer it) and their projects (when the propose them).

I think "That's a great ring to have to wear for a night on the town?" versus, "Um... have you really thought the three sided pave with thing through with your lifestyle?" Is key. It's hard to know which one to say.

ETA: Can someone link me to Ms.Salvo's post about giving up her beautiful ring. I'm out of the loop.

 

[Steel]

Date: 3/18/2009 6:04:53 PM
Author: Maisie

Date: 3/18/2009 5:58:08 PM
Author: Steel
This is a timely topic.

Maisie, I love to see your projects and am very sorry your halo did not work out in the way you hoped. I did gently offer my pov at the time about waiting for the stone upgrade instead and so I feel happy that I did offer you another POV, I would have regretted not telling you. I was sad to see that it was not what you expected and wish you success for this upgrade and reset.

Thank you sweetheart. I do get carried away don''t I? If you lived that little bit closer you could have popped round and given me a quick slap and told me to calm down and wait!

I didn''t mean timely in reference to you.

If our taxes go up much more I may well pack a bag and come knocking! You probably heard the Gov plan to raise all taxes mid-budget

; as if we aren''t paying enough as is.....

 

[Steel]

Date: 3/18/2009 6:06:58 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 3/18/2009 6:02:13 PM
Author: Maisie

Date: 3/18/2009 5:53:33 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Well, I think you will be happy with what you are getting. Classic, gorgeous look. I loved all the looks actually, but I remember seeing the halo video and thinking, ''DAYUM!'' (And I''m not the type to say ''dayum'') It was a serious bling look and I thought it was going to be the one for you.

But practical life sets in. I remember being shocked when MrsS gave her her Daniel K ring. I LOVED that ring too. I''m no longer into halos but can''t deny that the ring on the finger has such impact!

If you could see where I live you would understand why that ring was just too much. I live in a predominately lower class area. Is it politically correct to say that? Anyway, a lot of people I know are on unemployment or in low wage employment. I just felt wrong with that big ring. I am keeping the setting though. I plan to put a lovely Richard Homer Sapphire in it. I will still wear it on a night out etc.

yeah, that''s the hard part about coveting...sometimes we see such lovely things on pricescope that we don''t realize it doesn''t work for our lifestyle. Even my simple solitaire doesn''t work for me now since it scratches up the kid. I can see why MrsS gave up her halo with three kids. And what you are saying makes sense about your situation as well.

But do you wonder why we all don''t think about these things BEFORE we proceed? If we know one another, should we be the voice of reason? Should I say, ''Hey, do you really want that ring with a baby around?'' Or is the right answer ''What a great ring to wear on a night out! We all need a treat!''

I guess that might be a little of what Deco is alluding to. Some of us have been here so long, we not only see the project, but know the PERSONALITY and lifestyle behind the project.

Where would the fun be in that?

 

[purrfectpear]

Date: 3/18/2009 6:03:57 PM
Author: Upgradable

Date: 3/18/2009 4:41:23 PM
Author: purrfectpear
I''ve seen a few people who could never leave well enough alone, and it was obvious that the next iteration would not scratch their itch. Smug? Not really, just a

There have been a few people who''ve asked for copious opinions and help, then gone off and done the exact opposite. A little frustrating, but hey, it''s their money.

Hey..... I resemble that remark!!!!

I wasn''t actually thinking of regular PS posters.

I was thinking of people who join - float budgets and stones for opinions - get great options presented at less money - then insist on mall stones.

 

[Upgradable]

PP, your comment sort of reminds me of a great thread from last week that disappeared! Some of the hugely frustrating things about those who ask about input, but then fight to the end to stick to the opinion they came in with!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I certainly see how people fall in love with a beautiful setting such as DK or a Leon pave and then realize it just isn''t practical for everyday. MrsS and I have said MANY times that we need about 3 sets....an antique set with an OEC (and I''d like Van Crayenest), a classic Tiffany soliaire and diamond band (closest to what I actually have except I have a Leon solitaire), and something really pretty to wear on special occasions such as the DK ring MrsS had or a Leon halo. I''d actually have the fewest opportunities to wear the third one, so the first two would be my personal priorities, and I think MrsS has come to that conclusion, too.

So aside from those of us who really need a couple of sets to be satisfied completely

, I do think there are a very small number of people on here who are never satisfied and continually change their rings. Some must have lost thousands and thousands on expensive designer settings. When I see them post the newest set, I do wonder how long it will be before they are looking for another.

One problem I do see here is that people can get swayed by the group. I know that sort of happened to me because I really wanted a 1.4 ct. stone and when I asked opinions on a 1.37 and a 1.63, the results were overwhelmingly in favor of the larger stone (except my buddy Ellen, probably!). There have been many times that I have considered trading my stone for one a little smaller but higher color (to make the upgrade price work out), because I am not one that enjoys having the largest diamond in my circles. (Let me say that I am around some women with far more money than I can imagine, but they wear their original small e-rings!!!).
So I do see how people can get carried away and may not get what THEY really want. That then results in trades and resets!

 

[geckodani]

Heh. I wish someone had smacked me hard upside the head before my first failed reset. "Hey Gecko - might want to think that through a bit first!!!" Then again, someone might have. But I was new, and wanted it NOW and ended up regretting it. Meh.

And then I went all crazy and embarked on my setting search - and actually went with the setting that got the least amount of votes from my final PS poll, LOL! It was the one that spoke to me, and I don''t regret the decision.

Sometimes I see things that make me want to comment, (a prong that looks wonky, or someone with a ginormous halo that has mentioned that they work in a field that requires them to use their hands a lot etc.) and want to speak up... but unless I *know* the poster fairly well... I''m just not comfortable speaking up.

If I see someone embarking on a project that I can tell has a flaw, I try to say something. If it''s after the fact and the ring is there all shiny and new in SMTR.... I keep my mouth shut.

 

[Phoenix]

I didn't know about Mrs S giving back her DK ring either!! When did that happen?? !

This is indeed a great thread. I see some posters constantly upgrading their rings, one in particular (mentioning no name here

), that it makes me wonder a little (not you, Maisie, I LOVE yr upgrading projects). It's like they have these beautiful rings, at times ginormous, and for some reason they're still not happy. What's that all about?

I tried to talk them out of it if I really think it's not going to make them any happier, but I don't always know that what they're thinking is necessarily going to be something they'll regret soon afterwards.

Oh ok, I think I just spoke about myself a little there

, not that my rings are ginormous. But I am constantly thinking about upgrading to a bigger stone(s). Luckily though, I've listened to PS'ers and have managed not to make one of the biggest bling mistakes: I wanted to put a big halo (like the Tiffany halo) on my 3 carater and am soooooo glad PS'ers talked me out of it. I've also been thinking about upgrading my JA pear but the prohibitive cost of the Leon setting has stopped me from doing that, so I guess that's good (or is it?).

I also second what DS said about having 3 separate styles of rings. I think that is so true, particularly since I've developed a huge fascination with old cuts since joining PS, so watch this space!

 

[Ellen]

Date: 3/18/2009 9:06:01 PM
Author: diamondseeker2006

One problem I do see here is that people can get swayed by the group. I know that sort of happened to me because I really wanted a 1.4 ct. stone and when I asked opinions on a 1.37 and a 1.63, the results were overwhelmingly in favor of the larger stone (except my buddy Ellen, probably!). There have been many times that I have considered trading my stone for one a little smaller but higher color (to make the upgrade price work out), because I am not one that enjoys having the largest diamond in my circles. (Let me say that I am around some women with far more money than I can imagine, but they wear their original small e-rings!!!).
So I do see how people can get carried away and may not get what THEY really want. That then results in trades and resets!

Ha! Actually my dear, even I voted for the larger!

But mainly because you were making the jump from a 1 ct.

I hate to hear you fretting over that beauty ds, it really is a perfect size, though I know how our rings can affect us/some in our social circles. I recently lost a highschool friend over my ring. How sad (and stupid) is that??

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 3/19/2009 10:02:09 AM
Author: Ellen
I recently lost a highschool friend over my ring. How sad (and stupid) is that??

Wow ... c''mon ... tell the story. How could that be?

 

[mrssalvo]

oh boy, I''m not sure where to chime in her. It''s funny b/c I researched and saved and had been on this forum for years and thought I knew what I was getting into. It wasn''t until I actually owned my DK ring that I realized how impractical it was for me and my lifestyle and I did not feel at all comfortable wearing it. I was so worried about all the pave and damaging it when I did. Add to that it was just too attention grabbing for my social circle and made me very uncomfortable wearing it. I think I do try to warn folks of the pros and cons of certain setting choices based on my own experience but I also understand that young gals tend to want to be in the trends and will want a popular choice over a classic one and I just want them to at least go with a well made pave ring if they are really wanting one etc...


gypsy- dani started a thread in the family section about my dk. Here it is if you want to read it..



https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/mrssalvo.98168/

 

[Ellen]

Date: 3/19/2009 10:17:01 AM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 3/19/2009 10:02:09 AM
Author: Ellen
I recently lost a highschool friend over my ring. How sad (and stupid) is that??

Wow ... c''mon ... tell the story. How could that be?

I dunno deco, I''m STILL asking myself that. I just don''t get it. She and I were in a group of four that were really close in highschool. Afterwards we kept contact, her hubby and mine work together. There was never a problem with us, never. Then awhile after I got my ring, we were at a get together. I never said a word about my ring when I got it, everyone just eventually noticed it. (in this area, it looks pretty big, average size is probably .50ish) So when she noticed, she took my hand and asked where I got it. I told her, and she said, wow that''s really nice. Only, it wasn''t like she really thought so, it''s like she said it because it was the thing to say. You know how you can tell the difference.

I let it go, but just a little later on she made a remark about how she (with emphasis) had to work two jobs to help put her kids through college. It was a dig, I know one when I hear it. I let that go too. And I let some other snide/pointed remarks go. But the whole time I was thinking WTH? This is one of the LAST people I would expect to be jealous, and we have been through a lot. She lost her first baby at 8 months pregnancy, and her doctor made her carry it around for a month, hoping she would birth it on her own. You can well imagine what she went through, and she needed to talk, a lot. The other two in our group got "sick" of hearing it and basically abandoned her. I stuck with her through the whole thing, she was my friend and I cared about her. So I "thought" we had a real friendship. Apparently not.

The last straw was last Nov. at a bonfire. She said something snide, again, and the look on my face must have been unmistakeable, because she looked at me and said, "oh I made her mad" and started laughing and talking to another friend of hers. So that was it, I''m done. And it all started when I got the ring, so that''s all I can come up with.

 

[Maisie]

Thats really sad Ellen.

 

[Ellen]

Yes, it is Maise.

 

[Gypsy]

Aww MrsS I just read your thread. I am so sorry it didn''t work out.

But I do understand the choice. My halo only has pave and I still baby this thing. Took me completely by surprise, because I thought by minimizing the pave only to the halo I would be okay wearing it 24/7. But I only wear it out, and take it off when I get home. (My 1/2 eternity pave wedding band I wear all the time, but it''s so low profile it doesn''t hit on anything). If I had kids I imagine it would sit in it''s box for most of the year. I think a lovely larger eternity band is just right, do you have thoughts in that direction? I loved the Memoire bands I saw.

Ellen, that''s obnoxious and very sad. I''m sorry.

DS I''m sorry that you aren''t comfortable with your ring size yet. I do think it looks lovely, but if you aren''t comfortable, you just aren''t.

I''ve gotten very attached to my e-ring. Though there are little itty bitty things I''d still tweak (cause I''m crazy), I don''t think I will be re-setting it. John has promised to outfit the rest of me in bling (slowly and over time) if I just leave the engagement ring alone forever. And since I do love it, it was an easy promise to make. Still... that gives me lots of opportunities to get OCD about all the other peices I want.

 

[bee*]

Once or twice I''ve thought that. Sometimes you have to do what you''re thinking though to realise that it''s totally wrong!