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Do you ever just KNOW someone is going to regret their latest project/re-set/purchase?

  • MAYBE, Just let me see the results dammmmmit

    Votes: 1 100.0%
  • NO

    Votes: 1 100.0%

  • Total voters
    1
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decodelighted

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Do you ever see a poster proceeding on a project that you just KNOW they''ll end up regretting down the line?

And my followup for the comments is: Does that frustrate you? Make you worry about all the wasted money/time/effort etc? Do you ever post a veiled warning ... or do you just brush it off ... AND, if the inevitable comes true -- Do you feel secretly vindicated? Smug? etc ....

Just curious ...
 

fleur-de-lis

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 25, 2007
Messages
1,343
Deco, no, but now *I''m* curious about whose projects you have in mind when you posted this!
 

monarch64

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
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I just loved the third option.
You do have a way with words, Deco.
 

FrekeChild

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
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Messages
19,456
I''ve posted veiled warnings before...
 

E B

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 31, 2005
Messages
9,488
Once or twice, but it doesn't bother me. It isn't my time and money!

Am I one of the posters you're referring to?
One of the last projects I proposed received cries of "don't do it!" But almost a year later, I still want to. That's why I'm taking my time deciding- I want to minimize the risk of regretting it short term. Who knows what we'll regret in 10 or 20 years?
 

Maisie

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
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Messages
12,578
I''m sure people thought that about my halo. And they were right lol!
 

Gailey

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 14, 2008
Messages
3,778
I just want everyone to know that I am about to embark on some costly projects and if any of you think I am doing something stupid, uneconomical, ugly or have any other negative comments, please let me know - and be direct! I''m English and well used to hearing a spade called a spade and not a ''flipping'' shovel.

I live in a nation of wonderful people who will go a million miles before giving a direct negative response. Sometime life is too short.

On the other hand, if a poster comes to PS looking for advice, it is not easy to crush their dreams, especially on an engagement ring project. I think in those circumstances constructive criticism is a kinder way to go. People really need solutions not necessarily opinions even if that is what they ask for.

And that being said, if said poster then goes off and completes the project without taking well meant advice on board, it''s not my place to gloat if she is subsequently disappointed. People learn by their own mistakes the best.
 

Gypsy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
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Messages
40,198
Depends I guess. If it was a long time poster I had a relationship with, I might just ask a question to see if they've thought through what I'm concerned about. If it's a newbie, I might be stronger in my language expressing concern.

I assume that most of the 'old timers' here pretty much know what they are doing. So I don't interfere, unless I really think something is going to be a disaster, or that thier expectations are unreasonable.

If it's a new poster... I don't assume that they know what they are doing and do, and have posted comments making it very clear (no veils) that there are red flags they should be aware of.

ETA: Smug? No, especially if it's a long time poster or a project I've followed. Then I'm just sad. As for newbies who don't listen? Not smug there either, just resigned.
 

Miranda

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 18, 2006
Messages
4,101
Nope. Not at all. If I can help, I do. I would not ever be overly emotionally involved a stranger''s jewelry project.
 

TravelingGal

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 29, 2004
Messages
17,193
Not really. I don''t really look at a project and think, "uh oh, you are SO gonna hate that!" It''s more I wonder if some people will ever be happy with anything.

And smug? Nah. I just sort of either roll my eyes, shrug, and move on.
 

Kismet

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 6, 2005
Messages
2,991
No, not really. I mean I could look at a project and know if *I* would hate it but one man''s trash is another man''s treasure (or woman''s as the case may be.)
 

Diamond*Dana

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 21, 2006
Messages
7,222
I just chalk it up as ''different strokes for different folks''. Just because I don''t care for something doesn''t mean that another person is not going to love it!
 

LtlFirecracker

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 29, 2008
Messages
4,837
If someone is trying to do something, and it I see something about what they are doing that might not work, I will make suggestions that might work better, but I usually don''t comment on overall designs. Everyone has different tastes, which is good. If we all had the same tastes we would be fighting over the same stones and everything would look the same. That would just be boring.
 

AmberGretchen

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 6, 2005
Messages
7,770
Actually, no, I guess I give people the benefit of the doubt in that way, that whatever they think they want is what they think they want, and even though they may change their minds later, there is very little to be done about that in the short term.
 

purrfectpear

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 31, 2008
Messages
4,079
I''ve seen a few people who could never leave well enough alone, and it was obvious that the next iteration would not scratch their itch. Smug? Not really, just a


There have been a few people who''ve asked for copious opinions and help, then gone off and done the exact opposite. A little frustrating, but hey, it''s their money.
 

Kaleigh

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 18, 2004
Messages
29,570
Just a handful of times have I seen someone going for something and thought, Oh geeze they are going to regret it down the road. But I have never felt smug.
 

LaurenThePartier

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 2, 2004
Messages
10,100
I love threads like this, that inherently make you reevaluate choices you may have made in terms of recent projects.


I try to help whenever I feel genuine help is requested.
 

isaku5

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 15, 2005
Messages
3,296
I don't comment negatively about a poster's project unless I can see full well that what they're expecting and what they're likely to receive are miles apart. At that point, I would probably say what I thought might happen and suggest alternatives, if possible.


I would hope that another PS'er would do the same for me.


ETA: I wouldn't feel smug about a disappointing project unless the poster was a know-it all jacka$$ type
 

MichelleCarmen

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 8, 2003
Messages
15,880
Date: 3/18/2009 4:41:23 PM
Author: purrfectpear
I''ve seen a few people who could never leave well enough alone, and it was obvious that the next iteration would not scratch their itch. Smug? Not really, just a
2nd to PP''s comment. Some people do not seem satisfied regardless of changes.

I don''t feel smug or think it''s a waste of their time and money. They can do what they want with both of those. I do think it''s a waste of time for us responders to keep helping out.
 

decodelighted

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
11,534
FWIW -- I wasn''t thinking about anyone in particular when I started this thread!
And am pretty sure now that "smug" was the wrong word. Was typing the poll part quickly & didn''t think it through carefully enough. I guess I meant "satisfied" that one''s initial instinct had been correct -- not "triumphant" like AHHAHHAHHAH I KNEW BETTER THAN YOU NA-NANNY BOO BOO.

I started thinking about the idea of "if I knew then what I know now" type of thing. And how sometimes people OUTSIDE the urge/obsession etc can see more clearly than the person *IN* the vortex. I wish there was a universally polite way of expressing those kinds of thoughts if you see a person who seems to be treading water, or veering into shopoholism or trying to scratch an unscratchable itch. Sometimes its a simple collision of tastes & I don''t mind shutting up about it. Other times I feel like I''m staring at a car accident and just passing it by instead of pulling over to offer assistance. The dangers of a community where we get "a feeling" of a person over a period of time? Or a benefit? Who knows -- me. shutting. up.

Date: 3/18/2009 4:01:55 PM
Author: TravelingGal
I wonder if some people will ever be happy with anything.
Interesting. Guess I''ve thought that a few times ...
 

Maisie

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 30, 2006
Messages
12,578
I recall one person who seemed to invest her whole life into her ring. It went on and on and there were many changes of mind. Situations like that get to me. I understand having a couple of changes but this was a huge thing that seemed to snowball till it was out of control. I remember reading one of her her posts and I honestly thought she was talking about her marriage breaking down. I was shocked to find out she was talking about something to do with her ring. That type of thing makes me want to stop reading.

I keep upgrading. I wonder if that annoys people. I hope it doesn''t. I really enjoy it!
 

TravelingGal

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 29, 2004
Messages
17,193
Date: 3/18/2009 5:35:34 PM
Author: decodelighted
FWIW -- I wasn''t thinking about anyone in particular when I started this thread!
And am pretty sure now that ''smug'' was the wrong word. Was typing the poll part quickly & didn''t think it through carefully enough. I guess I meant ''satisfied'' that one''s initial instinct had been correct -- not ''triumphant'' like AHHAHHAHHAH I KNEW BETTER THAN YOU NA-NANNY BOO BOO.

I started thinking about the idea of ''if I knew then what I know now'' type of thing. And how sometimes people OUTSIDE the urge/obsession etc can see more clearly than the person *IN* the vortex. I wish there was a universally polite way of expressing those kinds of thoughts if you see a person who seems to be treading water, or veering into shopoholism or trying to scratch an unscratchable itch. Sometimes its a simple collision of tastes & I don''t mind shutting up about it. Other times I feel like I''m staring at a car accident and just passing it by instead of pulling over to offer assistance. The dangers of a community where we get ''a feeling'' of a person over a period of time? Or a benefit? Who knows -- me. shutting. up.


Date: 3/18/2009 4:01:55 PM
Author: TravelingGal
I wonder if some people will ever be happy with anything.
Interesting. Guess I''ve thought that a few times ...
Ha Deco, that''s probably not a bad idea.

There are some people on PS who genuinely look to others for direction and come up with a great project with all the collaboration. Then there are two other types.

1.) "What do you think of this idea? But I like this idea! I don''t care what you think, I''m going ahead with this idea! What do you mean I only posted for positive reinforcement? You''re rude!"

2.) "What do you think of this idea? Really? Yeah, I guess. Ooh, I like that idea too! Oh, and you too, thanks, I like that idea too! What a cool idea, I love that idea! I have no idea WTF I want. And none of you are ever really going to help me, because in reality, I''m kind of like person #1 above.

When people have an itch, they are going to scratch it. And no amount of calamine lotion offered by a kindly person is going to curb it.
 

TravelingGal

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 29, 2004
Messages
17,193
Date: 3/18/2009 5:39:16 PM
Author: Maisie
I recall one person who seemed to invest her whole life into her ring. It went on and on and there were many changes of mind. Situations like that get to me. I understand having a couple of changes but this was a huge thing that seemed to snowball till it was out of control. I remember reading one of her her posts and I honestly thought she was talking about her marriage breaking down. I was shocked to find out she was talking about something to do with her ring. That type of thing makes me want to stop reading.

I keep upgrading. I wonder if that annoys people. I hope it doesn''t. I really enjoy it!
LOL Maisie, it doesn''t annoy me (I''ll speak for myself). Most PSers can understand the need for bigger and more sparkly!

What DOES confuse me however is the wide range of settings you''ve tried out! Platinum, WG (halo, right), then back to yellow gold. Which just leads me to think, "Gosh, I really hope this is it, because all this seems costly!"
 

Gypsy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
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Messages
40,198
Well, when people ask questions like "Has anyone felt like this.." and the way they are feeling indicates compulsive shopping, OCD, or generally something of that sort. I do normally post the truth. You, Deco, have done that for me during my wedding when I was fixating on something. So did others. And I always appreciate it.

I think if it''s coming from a place of genuine concern... and tactfully phrased so that it isn''t a personal attack, just an observation that may or may not true, but that you post as something for that person to think about. I think it can be good. I know it was for me.
 

FrekeChild

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 14, 2007
Messages
19,456
I feel similarly Maisie.

I don''t think I''ll ever "upgrade" my ring, but I''m sure I''ll have a lot more projects in the future.
 

Maisie

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 30, 2006
Messages
12,578
Date: 3/18/2009 5:46:19 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 3/18/2009 5:39:16 PM
Author: Maisie
I recall one person who seemed to invest her whole life into her ring. It went on and on and there were many changes of mind. Situations like that get to me. I understand having a couple of changes but this was a huge thing that seemed to snowball till it was out of control. I remember reading one of her her posts and I honestly thought she was talking about her marriage breaking down. I was shocked to find out she was talking about something to do with her ring. That type of thing makes me want to stop reading.

I keep upgrading. I wonder if that annoys people. I hope it doesn''t. I really enjoy it!
LOL Maisie, it doesn''t annoy me (I''ll speak for myself). Most PSers can understand the need for bigger and more sparkly!

What DOES confuse me however is the wide range of settings you''ve tried out! Platinum, WG (halo, right), then back to yellow gold. Which just leads me to think, ''Gosh, I really hope this is it, because all this seems costly!''
Lol! I can understand your confusion. My Dh feels it too! I tried out platinum but the diamond wasn''t big enough. So I thought if I halo''d it the diamond would look bigger. Then someone said it looked like a cocktail ring and that wasn''t nice to hear. So I thought why not just be done with it and get a bigger diamond and go back to yellow gold.

Who knows what will happen next.
 

decodelighted

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
11,534
Date: 3/18/2009 5:39:16 PM
Author: Maisie
I recall one person who seemed to invest her whole life into her ring. /// I keep upgrading. I wonder if that annoys people. I hope it doesn''t. I really enjoy it!
I recall that person too -- wonder if we mean the same one LOL!!! Re: multiple upgrades ... it doesn''t make any sense that it would be annoying. We''re a DIAMOND enthusiasts community for pete''s sake -- but I do think that as humans we tend to want other people to be happy. To be satsified. So maybe it *IS* disappointing on some level when you follow a project, maybe offer help, witness the gushes & raves & many, many pictures of the Bling Holy Grail when it arrives --- and then see relatively soon that the owner is posting about problems with it or regrets or is considering trading it in for the BBT (bigger better thing).
 

decodelighted

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
11,534
Date: 3/18/2009 5:50:45 PM
Author: Maisie
Then someone said it looked like a cocktail ring and that wasn''t nice to hear. So I thought why not just be done with it and get a bigger diamond and go back to yellow gold.
WHOA!!! *One person''s opinion* made you change your own mind about something? Say its not so!
 

TravelingGal

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 29, 2004
Messages
17,193
Date: 3/18/2009 5:50:45 PM
Author: Maisie

Date: 3/18/2009 5:46:19 PM
Author: TravelingGal


Date: 3/18/2009 5:39:16 PM
Author: Maisie
I recall one person who seemed to invest her whole life into her ring. It went on and on and there were many changes of mind. Situations like that get to me. I understand having a couple of changes but this was a huge thing that seemed to snowball till it was out of control. I remember reading one of her her posts and I honestly thought she was talking about her marriage breaking down. I was shocked to find out she was talking about something to do with her ring. That type of thing makes me want to stop reading.

I keep upgrading. I wonder if that annoys people. I hope it doesn''t. I really enjoy it!
LOL Maisie, it doesn''t annoy me (I''ll speak for myself). Most PSers can understand the need for bigger and more sparkly!

What DOES confuse me however is the wide range of settings you''ve tried out! Platinum, WG (halo, right), then back to yellow gold. Which just leads me to think, ''Gosh, I really hope this is it, because all this seems costly!''
Lol! I can understand your confusion. My Dh feels it too! I tried out platinum but the diamond wasn''t big enough. So I thought if I halo''d it the diamond would look bigger. Then someone said it looked like a cocktail ring and that wasn''t nice to hear. So I thought why not just be done with it and get a bigger diamond and go back to yellow gold.

Who knows what will happen next.
Well, I think you will be happy with what you are getting. Classic, gorgeous look. I loved all the looks actually, but I remember seeing the halo video and thinking, "DAYUM!" (And I''m not the type to say "dayum") It was a serious bling look and I thought it was going to be the one for you.

But practical life sets in. I remember being shocked when MrsS gave her her Daniel K ring. I LOVED that ring too. I''m no longer into halos but can''t deny that the ring on the finger has such impact!
 

TravelingGal

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 29, 2004
Messages
17,193
Date: 3/18/2009 5:53:15 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 3/18/2009 5:50:45 PM
Author: Maisie
Then someone said it looked like a cocktail ring and that wasn''t nice to hear. So I thought why not just be done with it and get a bigger diamond and go back to yellow gold.
WHOA!!! *One person''s opinion* made you change your own mind about something? Say its not so!
Am I the only one here who actually likes the cocktail ring look? bling bling!
 
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