Please be gentle; this is a very personal topic which has caused me quite some pain in recent years. I'm reaching out here because it's not the sort of thing you can talk to friends about.
For the longest time, my sex drive was dead due to multiple bereavements and all the stresses that go along with that, such as feeling distant from previously close friends because they didn't understand how bereavement feels, and the stresses of looking after remaining family members. Heartbreak all round, in other words, and it seemed to go on and on and on.
But now I'm much more used to a world without the people who have passed away, and I have this new job. I feel much better and am coming to life again.
Frankly, it's been so long that I feel like a seventeen-year-old again - frisky but unable to get it on. It's been five months for me, since the "friend" I used to see moved away, and if it wasn't for my vibrator I think my eyes might pop out. Of course, the solution is to find a new partner, but....when I remember sex, to be honest I've never found anyone who blew me away in the sack. I found the hottest, most romantic soft-**** film ever (includes kissing!) and the guy is amazing the way he rolls her around changing positions and kissing her as he does so - incredibly hot yet romantic. It's as if they're dancing, because he is leading- and he's only in his twenties! Now, I know that sleeping with a **** star isn't exactly an option, but where does one find men who know what to do? And why have I never found one who will trail soft kisses all down my neck and all over my body while stroking my hair and then making love to me tenderly? And switching up the tempo? It's all been wham, bam, thank you ma'am. Or maybe just wham, bam. And yes, I have been in long-term relationships and also married. No difference.
I was like the girl in the film once. Young and slim and pretty. But I also remember how hard it was to get men to see past all the physical stuff and how hard it was to find commitment at that age. So it's not exactly that I long for those days, either.
I just want, once in my life before I die, to have really, really good sex. And I'm not sure what to do about the immediate tension, except to probably break my vibrator. But I want movie sex. Not ****-film sex, but all white satin sheets and tan limbs and heads thrown back. I have never had this. I'm beginning to wonder if the truth is that none of us are really that good in bed, and movie sex is just a pipe-dream.
You know, I even had a relationship with a confirmed ladies' man once - oh no, two ladies' men - one of whom claimed to have slept with over 60 women. Neither of them lit a fire under me, and I don't remember them trying too hard, either.
I have never met a man who realizes how thin women's skin is compared to men's and that it's incredibly sensitive to touch, all over. I told a long-term love once how much I loved my back being stroked and touched, and I think he did that once.
For people who have had dry spells, how did you handle it without going insane? And how did you find a good lover in the first place? As I said, being in a monogamous relationship never worked for me - to be honest, looking back, all the men were just so blown away by the sensations of their own pleasure that I never really got what I wanted, even when I asked. And in my experience, ladies' men really are no better. Sometimes I wonder what really famous womanisers are like in bed - Warren Beatty, Bill Clinton. Completely different, or focused on themselves like the men I've known?
Anyway. How have you handled dry spells? Sorry if this is a very personal thread but I just need to get this off my chest.
For the longest time, my sex drive was dead due to multiple bereavements and all the stresses that go along with that, such as feeling distant from previously close friends because they didn't understand how bereavement feels, and the stresses of looking after remaining family members. Heartbreak all round, in other words, and it seemed to go on and on and on.
But now I'm much more used to a world without the people who have passed away, and I have this new job. I feel much better and am coming to life again.
Frankly, it's been so long that I feel like a seventeen-year-old again - frisky but unable to get it on. It's been five months for me, since the "friend" I used to see moved away, and if it wasn't for my vibrator I think my eyes might pop out. Of course, the solution is to find a new partner, but....when I remember sex, to be honest I've never found anyone who blew me away in the sack. I found the hottest, most romantic soft-**** film ever (includes kissing!) and the guy is amazing the way he rolls her around changing positions and kissing her as he does so - incredibly hot yet romantic. It's as if they're dancing, because he is leading- and he's only in his twenties! Now, I know that sleeping with a **** star isn't exactly an option, but where does one find men who know what to do? And why have I never found one who will trail soft kisses all down my neck and all over my body while stroking my hair and then making love to me tenderly? And switching up the tempo? It's all been wham, bam, thank you ma'am. Or maybe just wham, bam. And yes, I have been in long-term relationships and also married. No difference.
I was like the girl in the film once. Young and slim and pretty. But I also remember how hard it was to get men to see past all the physical stuff and how hard it was to find commitment at that age. So it's not exactly that I long for those days, either.
I just want, once in my life before I die, to have really, really good sex. And I'm not sure what to do about the immediate tension, except to probably break my vibrator. But I want movie sex. Not ****-film sex, but all white satin sheets and tan limbs and heads thrown back. I have never had this. I'm beginning to wonder if the truth is that none of us are really that good in bed, and movie sex is just a pipe-dream.
You know, I even had a relationship with a confirmed ladies' man once - oh no, two ladies' men - one of whom claimed to have slept with over 60 women. Neither of them lit a fire under me, and I don't remember them trying too hard, either.
I have never met a man who realizes how thin women's skin is compared to men's and that it's incredibly sensitive to touch, all over. I told a long-term love once how much I loved my back being stroked and touched, and I think he did that once.
For people who have had dry spells, how did you handle it without going insane? And how did you find a good lover in the first place? As I said, being in a monogamous relationship never worked for me - to be honest, looking back, all the men were just so blown away by the sensations of their own pleasure that I never really got what I wanted, even when I asked. And in my experience, ladies' men really are no better. Sometimes I wonder what really famous womanisers are like in bed - Warren Beatty, Bill Clinton. Completely different, or focused on themselves like the men I've known?
Anyway. How have you handled dry spells? Sorry if this is a very personal thread but I just need to get this off my chest.