Baby names - I''m already annoyed (vent!)

[newsboysgrl777]

Date: 9/4/2009 10:47:19 AM
Author: Italiahaircolor
That is nothing short of annoying.

I think people get possessive over the strangest things. Honestly, who cares if you two have babies with the same first name? You can pass along ''namesake'' things like bibs and blankets (if you so choose).

This is a life time decision...and not one that should be made due to the fact that someone who is your friend now may want to name her daughter that in the future. I mean, what if she has a boy? What if you two drift apart? You cannot be asked to sacrafice a name you love simply because she has the inkling she likes that name for her maybe-baby right now. Nope, it just shouldn''t be done--there are far to many variables.

I say you should name your baby whatever you want. If you want Sophia...go for it. Don''t censor yourself for her.

+1 all the way!!

 

[zoebartlett]

I''ve never understood the need some people feel to call dibs on a name. If you and your friend (not specifically you, Vesper, the general YOU) both like a name, why can''t both people use it?

 

[musey]

Date: 9/5/2009 11:18:13 AM
Author: KittyBling

Date: 9/4/2009 2:22:36 PM
Author: musey
Honestly, I understand how people feel, but voicing it is sort of pointless. Usually all it does is make the other person want the off-limits name more. Silly - in most circumstances.

I give that qualifier because I myself am somewhat guilty of this. I have a name that I've wanted to use for a future son since I was 12. Never wavered. When I told my husband, he melted and said he'd always wanted that name for a son as well.

My brother and his wife are TTC, and I knew I would be absolutely heartbroken if they used the name that we'd always wanted... because I could not have identically-named cousins in our family. We had an instance of that in our generation (actually, the TTC brother and one of our cousins), and it was endlessly annoying. So I emailed him and said that I wasn't calling dibs or asking him to do anything differently, but I did want to let him know our future name plans in case it would have any impact on theirs. Thankfully, they already have name plans and ours is nowhere on their list. He said he would never want to use a name if it would hurt me to do so, and he also was against the identically-named cousins thing

ETA: On the flip-side, a friend announced her baby name at 8 weeks and it happened to be my (at the time) first choice for a girl. Gosh I was bummed about that (and it did ruin the name for me, mentally - oh well), but I didn't say a word. Because she's just a friend, and what do I care if a friend's kid has the same name as my kid? It's different from having the same name in the family.

Anyway, I'm just saying that I do understand the gut reaction to a loved name being in jeopardy - because I do understand the feeling of a name being 'ruined.' If you spend a lot of time with these friends, I also somewhat understand the impulse to 'call' a name, because for many people (like me) it is so easy for a name to be 'ruined.' That doesn't mean it's mature or reasonable to actually go ahead and voice these feelings - but having them is human, and it is understandable.

Some people (you) just aren't as protective over these things as others (your friends).

I'd love to know what name you've chosen

I've only told my husband, my brother and my parents.

It's not all that uncommon a name, really... not uber-popular, just uncommon enough to feel protective over

 

[bee*]

I have friends that have reserved baby names and they aren''t even dating anyone yet. It''s crazy. I agree with you that you can both have a daughter named Sophia! My mother has four really close friends and out of the five of them, 4 of them have a daughter with the same name. They all just loved the name. I don''t see what the fuss is about.

 

[Cehrabehra]

When I was in early labor with one of my sons I was talking to my sister in law who was about 4 months out from having a baby herself and to distract myself I asked her what names she was thinking of and I said don''t worry I won''t steal any - I already have ours picked out. Well the FIRST name she said was the name we chose and even though I wasn''t going to give the name out prior to birth it was funny because I immediately said "except that one" lol She wasn''t upset but it did remove it from the list for her lol

 

[AGBF]

Date: 9/4/2009 7:41:54 PM
Author: HollyS

Date: 9/4/2009 12:29:46 PM
Author: AGBF



I live in a parallel universe.

I'm both amused, and ever so slightly confused.

You think you're confused? I'm confused (and not by vespergirl, by people who think that they can tell her what she cannot name her baby)!!! I grew up in the United States! Both sets of my maternal great-grandparents were named "John" and "Mary". I had an aunt and at least one great-aunt named "Mary". My grandfather was named "John" after his father, so my brother and my first cousin got, "John" as middle names. My mother has her mother's first name. And so it goes. I assure you that there were other people named "John" and "Mary" on the streets on which my great-grandparents lived and in the church that all my great-grandparents attended even though in those days no one made any charts about the popularity of names.

AGBF

 

[UCLABelle]

Personally, the only times I think "calling" dibs on a name would be...if you are related, and have similar due dates and the name may be a "family" name. For example, when I was born, my mother and aunt (her SIL) had the EXACT same due dates---and liked the same names for boys and girls. It didn't turn too ugly. My aunt had a boy---and my mom, a girl. When my little brother was born, he got the "family/favorite" name as a middle. All are happy.

I mean, I guess I would be "disappointed" if one of the names I really like was taken by a super close friend or sister in law. Especially since the only names I like are that of my maternal grandmother, mother, and a combo...

 

[rainwood]

Vespergirl -

I am planning to use the name Vespergirl for my next child/pet/vehicle so I would appreciate it if you could change your screen name to something else. Thanks very much!

 

[vespergirl]

Date: 9/6/2009 5:59:58 PM
Author: rainwood
Vespergirl -

I am planning to use the name Vespergirl for my next child/pet/vehicle so I would appreciate it if you could change your screen name to something else. Thanks very much!

LOL! Hope it''s not a boy!

 

[Fly Girl]

This happened in our family. I was pregant and my husband''s younger brother (who was single and in college) wanted to call dibs on a particular family name. We told him first come, first served. Anyhow, many years later he married a Swedish woman, and the names they used for their sons were completely different. They are common names in Sweden, but not in the US.

I still say, first to give birth gets to choose the name. Who knows if the other person will ever have a child, have a child of that sex, have a partner who agrees with the name, etc?

 

[Maisie]

My sister was trying to get pregnant till she found out she couldn''t have any more babies. Her favourite girl name was Grace. I got a cat a couple of months ago. I called her Gracie. I don''t think my sis is offended

 

[HollyS]

Date: 9/6/2009 10:47:27 AM
Author: AGBF

Date: 9/4/2009 7:41:54 PM
Author: HollyS

Date: 9/4/2009 12:29:46 PM
Author: AGBF



I live in a parallel universe.

I''m both amused, and ever so slightly confused.

You think you''re confused? I''m confused (and not by vespergirl, by people who think that they can tell her what she cannot name her baby)!!! I grew up in the United States! Both sets of my maternal great-grandparents were named ''John'' and ''Mary''. I had an aunt and at least one great-aunt named ''Mary''. My grandfather was named ''John'' after his father, so my brother and my first cousin got, ''John'' as middle names. My mother has her mother''s first name. And so it goes. I assure you that there were other people named ''John'' and ''Mary'' on the streets on which my great-grandparents lived and in the church that all my great-grandparents attended even though in those days no one made any charts about the popularity of names.

AGBF

Exactly.

There is nothing nuttier than some of today''s young women thinking that everything is all about them. Like no one has ever before been engaged, married, pregnant, birthed babies, named children, raised children, bought houses, etc., etc., etc. Pretty soon, these gals will have to start planning their demises, complete with the send-off they think they deserve, as one more way of one-upping their friends.

Now, of course, I use a hyperbole a lot in the above paragraph. But isn''t it just a bit scary that there is even a nugget of truth to what I said?????

(Vespergirl, none of what I said had anything to do with you personally. But your friends may resemble the description.

)

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 9/7/2009 1:26:52 AM
Author: HollyS

There is nothing nuttier than some of today''s young women thinking that everything is all about them. Like no one has ever before been engaged, married, pregnant, birthed babies, named children, raised children, bought houses, etc., etc., etc. Pretty soon, these gals will have to start planning their demises, complete with the send-off they think they deserve, as one more way of one-upping their friends.

AMEN SISTA!

 

[cindygenit]

Calling "dibs" on names??... seriously...

This whole situation is ridiculous. You name your child whatever you like, vespergirl!!!

 

[vespergirl]

Date: 9/7/2009 1:26:52 AM
Author: HollyS

Date: 9/6/2009 10:47:27 AM
Author: AGBF

Date: 9/4/2009 7:41:54 PM
Author: HollyS

Date: 9/4/2009 12:29:46 PM
Author: AGBF



I live in a parallel universe.

I''m both amused, and ever so slightly confused.

You think you''re confused? I''m confused (and not by vespergirl, by people who think that they can tell her what she cannot name her baby)!!! I grew up in the United States! Both sets of my maternal great-grandparents were named ''John'' and ''Mary''. I had an aunt and at least one great-aunt named ''Mary''. My grandfather was named ''John'' after his father, so my brother and my first cousin got, ''John'' as middle names. My mother has her mother''s first name. And so it goes. I assure you that there were other people named ''John'' and ''Mary'' on the streets on which my great-grandparents lived and in the church that all my great-grandparents attended even though in those days no one made any charts about the popularity of names.

AGBF

Exactly.

There is nothing nuttier than some of today''s young women thinking that everything is all about them. Like no one has ever before been engaged, married, pregnant, birthed babies, named children, raised children, bought houses, etc., etc., etc. Pretty soon, these gals will have to start planning their demises, complete with the send-off they think they deserve, as one more way of one-upping their friends.

Now, of course, I use a hyperbole a lot in the above paragraph. But isn''t it just a bit scary that there is even a nugget of truth to what I said?????

(Vespergirl, none of what I said had anything to do with you personally. But your friends may resemble the description.

)

Hey Holly & AGBF, I totally agree with you guys. It really does make me feel better to read the responses from all of the PS ladies who agree that I should just name my kid what I want and not feel bad about it.

AGBF, I know what you mean about common names - my first name is a "J" name that was very common for girls born in the 70s. There were 3 girls in my first grade class with the name, and you still hear it all the time.

Holly, you are totally right - some of the "dib" calling smacks of narcissism to me. Unfortunately, not so unusual in this day and age of bridezillas, etc.

 

[Delster]

I think I'm one of the 'younger' ladies (maybe only just though

) and frankly I think this calling dibs business is ridiculous!!! Vesper give your baby the name you love and that you think will suit him/her. Don't pay any heed to this kind of drama-mongering.

We have two names in my family that have five lucky recipients each - we've even been known to line them up at family weddings and take photos of them all together!

We differentiate between them using 'my A', 'your A', 'baby A', 'little baby A', 'Granddad AB' and 'Granddad AC'. To the best of my knowledge, none of them has had an identity crisis yet or suffered due to the non-uniqueness of their moniker.

'Baby A' is 22 years old, 6'2", smart, funny, seriously sporty and seriously handsome. And still answers to 'baby A'

 

[Maisie]

Date: 9/7/2009 8:57:35 AM
Author: Delster
I think I''m one of the ''younger'' ladies (maybe only just though

) and frankly I think this calling dibs business is ridiculous!!! Vesper give your baby the name you love and that you think will suit him/her. Don''t pay any heed to this kind of drama-mongering.

We have two names in my family that have five lucky recipients each - we''ve even been known to line them up at family weddings and take photos of them all together!

We differentiate between them using ''my A'', ''your A'', ''baby A'', ''little baby A'', ''Granddad AB'' and ''Granddad AC''. To the best of my knowledge, none of them has had an identity crisis yet or suffered due to the non-uniqueness of their moniker.

''Baby A'' is 22 years old, 6''2'', smart, funny, seriously sporty and seriously handsome. And still answers to ''baby A''

Now thats cute!!

 

[Fly Girl]

My sister-in-law''s son and his wife were expecting their first baby, a girl. They wanted to name her Elinor. My SIL was telling me all the reasons why they should pick a different name. After listening to her vent for about 20 minutes, I told her that while she had lots of good reasons, I was pretty sure that her DIL would use the name she preferred. She did, and it really doesn''t matter. My SIL is still crazy about her first grandchild, even though she was named Elinor.

 

[phoenixgirl]

Date: 9/6/2009 5:52:25 PM
Author: UCLABelle
Personally, the only times I think ''calling'' dibs on a name would be...if you are related, and have similar due dates and the name may be a ''family'' name. For example, when I was born, my mother and aunt (her SIL) had the EXACT same due dates---and liked the same names for boys and girls. It didn''t turn too ugly. My aunt had a boy---and my mom, a girl. When my little brother was born, he got the ''family/favorite'' name as a middle. All are happy.


I mean, I guess I would be ''disappointed'' if one of the names I really like was taken by a super close friend or sister in law. Especially since the only names I like are that of my maternal grandmother, mother, and a combo...

This has kind of happened to me. My brother and sister were done having kids, and DH and I were just TTC, and I had always said I wanted to name a child Chloe, which was my grandmother''s name. Well then my sister went and got pregnant with an oops baby due 4 weeks before mine, and we''re both having girls. She immediately deferred Chloe to me since she knew I''d always wanted to name a child that (and if she''d loved it so much she could have used it for her older daughter), but then when she found out that it was probably our second choice, she became more interested in it. After a few discussions we both tried to "give" it to each other -- she said I should save it for a second baby, I said she should use it since who knows if I''ll have another girl and we could use it this time if we wanted . . . -- I think the end result is that we''ve both picked different names. She might use it as a middle name, though.

I confess, though, that early on when I wasn''t settled on Claire instead, I was like, hey, don''t you go taking the only good family name that''s left and that I''ve always wanted to use! So I felt the urge to call dibs, even though we hadn''t decided on the name yet.

But with a friend who isn''t even pregnant, give me a break! I have a friend who is due 4 days before me (doesn''t know the sex), but if they happen to choose Claire, I wouldn''t care a bit! It would be a cute excuse to use their middle names when referring to them with those parents. We could call them a "pair of Claires." Aw . . . .