Baby names - I''m already annoyed (vent!)

[vespergirl]

I can''t believe it - I''m only 7 weeks pregnant, and already my non-pregnant friends are trying to call dibs on baby names

When I had my son 3 years ago, I was the first of my friends to have a baby (the rest weren''t even married yet) so there wasn''t any talk of "calling" baby names. Which, by the way, I don''t agree with - unless it''s a made up name that''s never been heard before and can''t be found in a baby book, I think that people should name their kids whatever they want, and their friends and family can do what they want. You can''t patent a baby name for goodness sake.

Here''s the story, but first you need the background info:

Last year, two of my girlfriends found out they were pregnant at the same time and were due one week apart. They both wanted girls, and both loved the name Charlotte. Friend 1 is very outspoken, and called "dibs" on the name. Friend 2 called me confidentially to complain about this, and ask what she should do (her due date was first). I told her that I thought it was ridiculous to call dibs on a name, and if they both ended up having daughters named Charlotte, so be it. As it turned out, friend 1 who called dibs was having a boy - moot point, right? No - she continued to call dibs on "Charlotte," saying that she was sure that she would have a daughter one day, and she was still "reserving" the name for possible future children. Friend 2, who was having a girl, was distraught. She really wanted to use the name, but came up with two alternative names that she really liked - Olivia and Sophia. I told her that friend 1 was being ridiculous - what if she never had a girl - friend 2 is pregnant with a girl now, use the name you like. She decided to go to the hospital with all 3 names, and decide once she saw the baby. As it turned out, they saw the baby and chose Olivia, not Charlotte or Sophia. A beautiful name that suits her.

Fast forward 9 months, I just announced my second pregnancy to my friends. My gut feeling tells me that I''m having a girl, but of course it''s too early to know for sure. Friend 2 (the one who was so distraught by the other girl calling dibs on names last year) immediately came forward and said, "We are going to try for our second baby next year, and if we have another girl, we are naming her Sophia." She''s calling dibs on a baby name!!! After everything that she went through when the other girl did that to her last year!

Anyway, as it turns out, Sophia is one of our top choices for a girl name (not our favorite, but up there). I have absolutely no qualms about using that name if we have a girl and choose to do so. I just think it''s such a ridiculous request for her to make - firstly, because I am currently pregnant, and she is not. She may never have another child, or another girl, so I don''t believe in saving names for make-believe babies. Secondly, if Sophia is such an important name to her that she "had to use," then she could have used it for her daughter, since she already had a girl. IMO, if she didn''t love it enough to use it the first time, then she certainly doesn''t have the right to try to prevent any of her friends from using it.

Sorry that this vent is so long, but I think that trying to reserve baby names is so childish - especially names that are as popular as Sophia (it''s been a top 10 name in the US for several years now). It totally annoys me that people think that they can reserve a name to the exclusion of everyone else (you''re going to be in for a harsh reality when your kid goes to school and finds that she''s one of 3 Sophias in her class). But I''m especially irked by the fact that the very friend who was upset by this behavior from another friend last year is trying to do it to me.

Well, whatever, DH and I have decided to keep our name choices quiet, and we will announce the name when the baby is born, and people can either be happy for us or pout accordingly

 

[Italiahaircolor]

That is nothing short of annoying.

I think people get possessive over the strangest things. Honestly, who cares if you two have babies with the same first name? You can pass along "namesake" things like bibs and blankets (if you so choose).

This is a life time decision...and not one that should be made due to the fact that someone who is your friend now may want to name her daughter that in the future. I mean, what if she has a boy? What if you two drift apart? You cannot be asked to sacrafice a name you love simply because she has the inkling she likes that name for her maybe-baby right now. Nope, it just shouldn''t be done--there are far to many variables.

I say you should name your baby whatever you want. If you want Sophia...go for it. Don''t censor yourself for her.

 

[cellososweet]

People are so ridiculous that it''s laughable. Call the babe whatever you please. That''s the first joy in having a baby. The first real stamp of parenting. Naming the baby. If your friend gets her tits in a tangle over it, remind her of the charlotte incident.

And I totally agree on not telling anyone the babies name until it''s born. I refuse to tell my brother because he never has anything nice to say about anything and I don''t want to get mad and start hating the name I chose.

 

[D&T]

Date: 9/4/2009 10:49:54 AM
Author: cellososweet
People are so ridiculous that it''s laughable. Call the babe whatever you please. That''s the first joy in having a baby. The first real stamp of parenting. Naming the baby. If your friend gets her tits in a tangle over it, remind her of the charlotte incident.

And I totally agree on not telling anyone the babies name until it''s born. I refuse to tell my brother because he never has anything nice to say about anything and I don''t want to get mad and start hating the name I chose.

lol...
but I agree,

Name your baby whatever name you want, it is a name that you should enjoy and it doesn''t matter who else has it, or if they will get all upset over it. Its a common name so whatever no one has "rights" to a name no patent...lol

 

[LtlFirecracker]

I don''t understand how people feel they can call dibs on a name, especially since all the names you have mentioned are fairly common right now (I work with newborns, so I have an idea of the "popular names").

I totally agree with you, this is a very childish thing to do, especially since these women arn''t even pregnant.

 

[Steel]

Date: 9/4/2009 10:37:57 AM
Author:vespergirl
I can''t believe it - I''m only 7 weeks pregnant, and already my non-pregnant friends are trying to call dibs on baby names

When I had my son 3 years ago, I was the first of my friends to have a baby (the rest weren''t even married yet) so there wasn''t any talk of ''calling'' baby names. Which, by the way, I don''t agree with - unless it''s a made up name that''s never been heard before and can''t be found in a baby book, I think that people should name their kids whatever they want, and their friends and family can do what they want. You can''t patent a baby name for goodness sake.

Here''s the story, but first you need the background info:

Last year, two of my girlfriends found out they were pregnant at the same time and were due one week apart. They both wanted girls, and both loved the name Charlotte. Friend 1 is very outspoken, and called ''dibs'' on the name. Friend 2 called me confidentially to complain about this, and ask what she should do (her due date was first). I told her that I thought it was ridiculous to call dibs on a name, and if they both ended up having daughters named Charlotte, so be it. As it turned out, friend 1 who called dibs was having a boy - moot point, right? No - she continued to call dibs on ''Charlotte,'' saying that she was sure that she would have a daughter one day, and she was still ''reserving'' the name for possible future children. Friend 2, who was having a girl, was distraught. She really wanted to use the name, but came up with two alternative names that she really liked - Olivia and Sophia. I told her that friend 1 was being ridiculous - what if she never had a girl - friend 2 is pregnant with a girl now, use the name you like. She decided to go to the hospital with all 3 names, and decide once she saw the baby. As it turned out, they saw the baby and chose Olivia, not Charlotte or Sophia. A beautiful name that suits her.

Fast forward 9 months, I just announced my second pregnancy to my friends. My gut feeling tells me that I''m having a girl, but of course it''s too early to know for sure. Friend 2 (the one who was so distraught by the other girl calling dibs on names last year) immediately came forward and said, ''We are going to try for our second baby next year, and if we have another girl, we are naming her Sophia.'' She''s calling dibs on a baby name!!! After everything that she went through when the other girl did that to her last year!

Anyway, as it turns out, Sophia is one of our top choices for a girl name (not our favorite, but up there). I have absolutely no qualms about using that name if we have a girl and choose to do so. I just think it''s such a ridiculous request for her to make - firstly, because I am currently pregnant, and she is not. She may never have another child, or another girl, so I don''t believe in saving names for make-believe babies. Secondly, if Sophia is such an important name to her that she ''had to use,'' then she could have used it for her daughter, since she already had a girl. IMO, if she didn''t love it enough to use it the first time, then she certainly doesn''t have the right to try to prevent any of her friends from using it.

Sorry that this vent is so long, but I think that trying to reserve baby names is so childish - especially names that are as popular as Sophia (it''s been a top 10 name in the US for several years now). It totally annoys me that people think that they can reserve a name to the exclusion of everyone else (you''re going to be in for a harsh reality when your kid goes to school and finds that she''s one of 3 Sophias in her class). But I''m especially irked by the fact that the very friend who was upset by this behavior from another friend last year is trying to do it to me.

Well, whatever, DH and I have decided to keep our name choices quiet, and we will announce the name when the baby is born, and people can either be happy for us or pout accordingly

Did she really call dibs or was she just ''saying''?

 

[atroop711]

first off CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

NOW...too damn bad for your friends. We don''t OWN names. I LOVE Sophia and that was on my short list for baby #3 but HE wouldn''t have been happy with it

. I also loved Olivia for my #3 but HE wouldn''t have appreciated that one either.

I think ppl get too damn caught up in this name thing. If I were you...when your friend called dibs on Sophia I would have said..oh what a coincidence...that''s one of our pics too! If she doesnt'' like it too bad. For being so child like...her next child(ren) will be all boys

Hope you have a safe, easy pregnancy and GL with Sophia, Olivia, Lauren, ect....

 

[purrfectpear]

Oh for pity''s sake. I can''t believe you let this stuff annoy you. Tell your friend that a baby isn''t the front seat of a car, and calling "shotgun" went out in grade school.

 

[atroop711]

Date: 9/4/2009 11:20:12 AM
Author: purrfectpear
Oh for pity''s sake. I can''t believe you let this stuff annoy you. Tell your friend that a baby isn''t the front seat of a car, and calling ''shotgun'' went out in grade school.

SNORT

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I don''t understand why you are letting this bother you. You already said you didn''t believe in calling dibs on baby names and you wouldn''t care if your child and your friend''s child has the same name. Name her Sophia (assuming it is a girl). If you really want to piss your friend off Sophia Olivia would be a beautiful name

 

[D&T]

Date: 9/4/2009 11:42:38 AM
Author: Tacori E-ring
I don''t understand why you are letting this bother you. You already said you didn''t believe in calling dibs on baby names and you wouldn''t care if your child and your friend''s child has the same name. Name her Sophia (assuming it is a girl). If you really want to piss your friend off Sophia Olivia would be a beautiful name

That sure is a beautiful name

this thread is cracking me up, Love all the responses.

 

[neatfreak]

Yes it's totally childish. But not worth worrying about until you find out what YOU are having. If you are having a boy it's a moot point again, right? And if you are having a girl you already said you don't care and will name the baby what you want. So don't worry about it!

 

[steph72276]

It is so ridiculous. I currently have 5 close friends that are all pregnant at the same time and a few of them have told me certain names were "off limits". One even told me a certain boy name was off limits even though she was having a girl because they "might have a boy someday and that is what they were naming him". I just think that is so stupid. I just did one of these

.

 

[geckodani]

Baby names are so crazy.

My sister "stole" the baby name we were reserving for a boy (Liam). I was not amused. But you know what - I may never have a boy, my nephew got here first, and the name suits the little bugger.

So I got over it.

I think with friends you don''t have the right to call a name. It''s childish.

Then again, I suppose telling my sister that if she names a daughter Kathryn I may be forced to harm her was a wee bit childish too.

 

[E B]

Date: 9/4/2009 11:46:21 AM
Author: neatfreak
Yes it''s totally childish. But not worth worrying about until you find out what YOU are having. If you are having a boy it''s a moot point again, right? And if you are having a girl you already said you don''t care and will name the baby what you want. So don''t worry about it!

Agreed. You said Sophia isn''t even your favorite- it''s just ''up there'' on your list. Not a big enough thing to be concerned about, esp. since you don''t yet know what you''re having.

 

[atroop711]

when I got pg with #3 and found out we were having a boy...I immediately went to the name NOAH. My husband said..oh but that''s your cousin''s sons name. I said I don''t care...that was the name we had for our first 2 pg in case it was a boy. So I emailed my cousin and in a light hearted way told her that as tradition in our family...there will be (YET AGAIN) 2 children sharing the same name. She was ok with it..and if she wasn''t..too bad. I loved the name

 

[E B]

Date: 9/4/2009 11:48:42 AM
Author: geckodani

My sister 'stole' the baby name we were reserving for a boy (Liam). I was not amused. But you know what - I may never have a boy, my nephew got here first, and the name suits the little bugger.

So I got over it.

Awww.

Before I had my son, I shared my favorite boy name with a friend, who told me she also loved the name. I got pregnant first, had a boy, and used the name. After I'd had him, another friend called me and jokingly cried, "you used my boy name!" I guess my friends and I have similar tastes in names.

In conclusion: Whoever has the baby first gets 'dibs.'

 

[packrat]

Ditto everyone else on the stupidity of calling dibs on baby names.

When we were trying for our 2nd, we chose Nevaeh as the girl''s name. Months later, we got pg and found out we were having a boy-then my bff got pg and found out she was having a girl. She asked if we were planning on using Nevaeh later, and I said if she wanted to name her daughter that, great-it''s a beautiful name. If we did have another baby and it was a girl and we still liked the name, we''d still use it. We thought it would be cool to each have a daughter w/the same name. I dunno..we''re big girls and we''re friends, not childish infants-maybe that makes a difference?

 

[geckodani]

Date: 9/4/2009 11:58:04 AM
Author: EBree

Date: 9/4/2009 11:48:42 AM
Author: geckodani

My sister ''stole'' the baby name we were reserving for a boy (Liam). I was not amused. But you know what - I may never have a boy, my nephew got here first, and the name suits the little bugger.

So I got over it.

Awww.

Before I had my son, I shared my favorite boy name with a friend, who told me she also loved the name. I got pregnant first, had a boy, and used the name. After I''d had him, another friend called me and jokingly cried, ''you used my boy name!'' I guess my friends and I have similar tastes in names.

In conclusion: Whoever has the baby first gets ''dibs.''

Precisely.

 

[Haven]

OY VEY. Vesper, I would be annoyed too, I understand your irritation.

And I agree with everyone else that this is childish, ridiculous, and laughable behavior. I''d just continue to do what you''re doing, and name your child whatever you darn well please when the time comes.

 

[AGBF]

I live in a parallel universe.


AGBF

 

[waxing lyrical]

I''ve never had to deal with this and I find it annoying. I don''t get calling dibs on names or reserving it. I really couldn''t care less if a friend chose to use the same name.

 

[Kaleigh]

You gotta be kidding me, right??

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 9/4/2009 12:33:30 PM
Author: Kaleigh
You gotta be kidding me, right??

OMG, that is what I am thinking. How old are they?!?!?! seriously!

 

[HopeDream]

Recipient''s point of view:

My mom had a name all picked out for me (she had thought about it for years),and then found out my dad''s first wife had previously used that name for my half sister, so my mom had to use a different name.

As it turns out, I don''t even like the first name my mom picked out, and am honored to be named after her most adventurous friend.

How can you call dibs on a name before you''ve even met the person? Do you hope the person will grow to become like others with the same name?

 

[upgrade]

When I got pregnant with my first my sister (who was single, in college, 19 and had no baby prospects in sight for many years) called dibs on 4 names- 2 girl names and 2 boy names. One of the girl names was one that I would have considered using had I had a girl. I came up with a different girl name, but had 2 boys so never used it. She had her first baby this year and she used MY girl''s name! Doesn''t matter because I''m not having any more and thus will never use it, nor do I believe you can call dibs on a baby name anyway. I just found it amusing that after all that ''calling dibs'' and trying to tell me I couldn''t use 4 different names, she ended up not wanting any of her reserved names and using the one I chose... People just never know if they''re ever going actually have opportunity to use the name they''ve chosen, and they may find that once the opportunity arises, their tastes have changed anyway.

Use the name you love- it''s your choice.

 

[October2008bride]

The only person I would consider asking about baby names would be my sister. She did that for me knowing that when I was a kid, I said I wanted my girl to be named "Kate". Yes, I was about 8 when I said it, and when my sister was pregnant, she asked me if it was okay.

Otherwise - hell no. My best friend and I actually independantly picked the same boy name for our hypothetical children, and we thought it was super cool that we would have kids with the same name!!

Either way - it is annoying. If you find out you are having a girl, go ahead and name her whatever you want!!

Except for Grace, Olivia, Sophia or Josephine. I call dibs on those

 

[jstarfireb]

That is annoying, and especially hypocritical given the source. Nice idea to keep your name choices quiet from here on out.

 

[Anastasia]

This might just be one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard.

My sister and I had each of our children very close together. (Our first two were born within weeks of each other, and our thirds are 6 months apart). In our situation, I am glad we didn''t choose any of the same names, but we never even discussed it when we were pregnant. "Dibs" on names never occurred to us.

I can''t believe that FRIENDS would think they have dibs on names (just saying the word dibs points out how ridiculous this situation is). Who knows, as time goes on you may even lose touch with them. Even if you don''t, what difference does it make if your kids have the same names?

If you were living in the same house with them, then maybe I could see a problem. In all other circumstances, why does it matter?

This reminds me of two friends of mine. Friend A and Friend B were engaged at the same time. Friend A "called dibs" on a first dance song that friend B really wanted. Friend B gets married first, and uses a different song. After friend A''s wedding, friend B broke off her engagement and never used the first dance song. As if it would have mattered anyway!

 

[TravelingGal]

What kind of company are ya keepin Vesper? These people sound like they need help!

Name whatever you want. When your friend protests, say, "Oh sorry, thought you wanted to name your child ''Dibs.''"