Are you resilient?

[missy]

A person has to be resilient. People who are not resilient go the way of the dinosaur.

Truth. Be resilient and thrive or give up and wither away. Not much of a choice when you look at it like that.

 

[missy]

I’m learning to be more and more resilient as tough situations allow me no other choice. I’m learning to choose resilience over resistance and happiness should follow. Yes, I’m happy and gratefu!

Glad you are feeling stronger and grateful and I agree. Resilience is a choice. A choice we have to make (sometimes) every single day.

 

[missy]

Great question, @missy!

1. ) Yes. I never forget anything bad or difficult, but learn from it and then move on and apply the new lessons in the future.
2.) Yes


I consciously take a step back from time to time and savour how lucky and happy I am : loving marriage to my soul mate, healthy and wonderful children, healthy hubby and myself, loyal friends ... The rest is gravy and we have our share: comfortable home, enough vacation, parachute pack in case of emergency. Would I like more money/bling/my size 4 back? Sure.. But then I'd have to make adjustments in other departments. So my priorites, my choice. I own it.

Easy to forget in the woes of everyday annoyances.

I feel the same way. Completely. No matter what life throws at us I am grateful to be doing it with my soulmate by my side. I draw strength and energy from him and I learn from him all the time. He is the most generous and loving and wise person I know. And I am super lucky to be going through life with him. The rest is gravy. We have shelter, food and love and good health. That's everything.

 

[luv2sparkle]

I think I am resilient. Happiness is fleeting and dependent upon circumstances. I am grateful and try to see the good and the blessings I have. Sometimes that is easier than others, but I always look for it. Keeps me sane.

 

[lyra]

1. Yes, but I feel it's more about Darwinism and less about personal choice in my case.
2. I try to remain neutral. I learned mindfulness as a coping mechanism, and taking that a step further, it's best to roll with the good and bad times not rocking the boat too much either way. Kind of like a more zen approach. Day by day.

 

[Austina]

Yes and yes. Life and circumstances have made me resilient, and I definitely feel that life is good ATM and I’m happy with my lot.

 

[missy]

I love this quote by Nelson Mandela.

“Do not judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.”

And this quote by Margaret Thatcher.

“You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.”

 

[missy]

1. Yes, but I feel it's more about Darwinism and less about personal choice in my case.
2. I try to remain neutral. I learned mindfulness as a coping mechanism, and taking that a step further, it's best to roll with the good and bad times not rocking the boat too much either way. Kind of like a more zen approach. Day by day.

Yes I completely agree. One day at a time and just go with the good and bad times as best you can. We cannot control so much in our lives but we can control how we react to adversity and challenges. It's our reaction that counts and how we deal with adversity. Everyone has challenges in life but what we do with it is what matters.

 

[missy]

Yes and yes. Life and circumstances have made me resilient, and I definitely feel that life is good ATM and I’m happy with my lot.

You deserve all the best in life @Austina. And you have a good head on your shoulders. Wise and kind. A wonderful combo.

 

[missy]

I think I am resilient. Happiness is fleeting and dependent upon circumstances. I am grateful and try to see the good and the blessings I have. Sometimes that is easier than others, but I always look for it. Keeps me sane.

Yes for sure. Gratitude goes a long way in making life sweet.

 

[Jambalaya]

Are we accurate judges of whether we're resilient or not? I'm not even really sure how to define resilience. Perhaps it means slightly different things to different people. As I just posted in another thread, I knew someone I thought was amazingly resilient, but he'd buried his feelings rather than facing them.

I'm not sure if resilience and happiness are connected. I mean, if you're going through a tough time - which is when you need resilience - by definition you're not going to be happy during that time.

I don't think I'm very resilient and would love to be more so. I completely fell apart when my mother died a few years ago, and I also haven't responded very well to being home alone a lot during the pandemic. I also feel that I've minded too much when I once experienced a brutal ghosting. However, perhaps resilience is a matter of practice, and those things hurt all the more because they were new experiences to me. I had never been bereaved of an immediate family member or ghosted so utterly and out of the blue (as opposed to the slow fade we've probably all experienced.)

Maybe that should be my resolution for next year - practice resilience!

Perhaps the more resilient among us would like to share? How do you manage your feelings and carry on in an effective way when a major emotional event occurs in your life, such as a major loss, which could be a person, a pet, a friendship, or a good job? I mean, anything that was really and truly dear to you? I'm more of a pajamas-and-binge kind of coper, and would love to be better.

 

[Karl_K]

Don't bounce back like I once did so just throw it in the f-it bucket and go on.
What is this happy thing I hear about?
I think its that thing that lasts for 10 minutes before something else goes wrong.

 

[MRBXXXFVVS1]

I'm suuuuper resilient and have incredible self-discipline, but definitely not happy during this time of resilience. Unfortunately for me, my happiness depends on external experiences (I recognize this is not good, but it's not easy to change how I'm wired). Sigh.

 

[GliderPoss]

Yes to both, have always felt immense gratitude for my situation in life no matter the challenge. Only need to watch the news to see how blessed I am in Oz.

 

[missy]

I don't think we find out just how resilient we are until we face true hardship and challenge.

For some lucky people that has not yet been their experience but for others we know just how resilient we are.
It is easy to think one is resilient when things go our way of course. But the true test is how do we do, how do we feel, during scary and uncertain times. And to that I say, one doesn't know just how strong one is until we have no choice but to put one foot in front of the other.

Regardless of how we are feeling, how overwhelmed we are, and how much we just want to sit and cry. No, we just keep going. One step at a time. Sometimes it might feel as if we are going backwards but as long as we keep on going, yes, that is being resilient. IMO.

Life doesn't generally get easier but we get stronger and more resilient and able to manage the tough times better.
Success is not final and failure is not the end. It is the strength to continue that matters.
We all experience failure and worry and doubt. Continuing on in spite of them is what makes us resilient.

 

[mellowyellowgirl]

1. Nooooo not at all. I'm a drama llama and control freak so everything is running well right now because it's under control. I suspect I'd lose it completely if things become a sh$t show.

2. Yes very much so. When I was little and my life was crap I had this weird obsession with horoscopes and fortune telling. I think I was constantly hoping it would improve. I love my life now so avoid horoscopes and fortune telling like the plague cuz the only way is down from here and I don't want to know about it!

 

[missy]

I think these challenging times can prove just how resilient one is

 

[missy]

Good article FYI

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​ ​ Stress is a part of present-day life. It isn’t going anywhere, and in many ways it keeps us safe. But the stress levels that we’re accustomed to would have crushed previous generations, and yet here we are still doing what we do. Managing stress has two parts. First, eliminate the stressors that you can control. Second, learn to manage the stress that’s unavoidable so it doesn’t manage you. Excess chronic stress leads to excess cortisol, which is your main stress hormone. Cortisol is a catabolic hormone, which means you cannot build or repair when levels are always high. I’m going to be blunt: if you’re stressed, you may as well toss your bioregulators in the dumpster.​ Techniques to help manage stress​ ​ Monitor heart rate variability (HRV). HRV can provide insights into your autonomic nervous system's balance, allowing you to better understand your stress responses and adjust your behaviors or routines accordingly. Hormesis. Hormesis is controlled stress on purpose. Uncomfortable practices like cold showers, ice baths, and sauna can act as forms of acute stress that train your body to handle stress better over time. The idea is that short bursts of stress build resilience and potentially reduce the impact of chronic stress. Nootropics and adaptogens. Certain supplements and herbs, known as nootropics and adaptogens, can enhance brain function and support the body’s stress response. Examples include ashwagandha, rhodiola rosea, and lion's mane mushrooms. Breathwork. Techniques such as box breathing or the Wim Hof Method involve controlled hyperventilation and breath retention to influence the body's stress response. These practices can help reduce stress by increasing blood oxygen levels and activating the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting a state of calmness. Biofeedback therapy. Biofeedback involves using sensors that measure your body's functions, such as brain waves, heart rate, and muscle tension, providing real-time feedback to help you learn to control these processes. Biofeedback is particularly effective in managing stress and anxiety as it increases your awareness of your physiological responses and teaches you how to regulate them consciously. Talk therapy. Working through trauma and life’s tough stuff with a trained therapist can help you frame your thoughts and feelings when you’re feeling stuck in a negative space. Therapy can offer techniques to help you manage intense feelings and feel more in control of your emotions, which can help prevent the physical damage that stress causes over time. ​ ​ ​ ​ ​

Connect to nature ​ ​ ​ ​ Spending time outdoors in nature is critical for a balanced life. Nature can help calm your mind, it’s essential for a regulated circadian rhythm, which we already learned is super important, and being among the trees offers an extra boost of oxygen for your cells. Physically, spending time outdoors can significantly improve overall health metrics. The simple act of walking in a natural setting increases physical activity, which boosts cardiovascular health and aids in muscle and bone strengthening. Moreover, the clean air and natural light of outdoor environments are fundamental for vitamin D production, which is crucial for bone health and metabolic function. On the mental side of things, natural landscapes have a unique ability to reduce mental fatigue and stress by lowering cortisol levels. This calming effect is enhanced by the sights and sounds of nature, which can be really grounding and rejuvenating for the mind. Singing birds and flowing water are so soothing that we’ve created audio tracks mimicking these nature sounds to calm us down when we’re feeling frazzled. Green spaces provide a welcome respite from urban environments, which can often feel chaotic and overwhelming. Natural settings offer a sense of space and freedom, which can promote mindfulness and presence — two things that are foundational to most spiritual health practices. After regularly spending time in nature, you might notice a better mood, improved cognitive function, improved attention, more creativity, and problem-solving ease. ​

​ ​ Community and a sense of purpose ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Biohackers like to measure things, so this one may seem a bit “woo-woo.” But there is no shortage of research showing that community and purpose are central to happiness and happiness is a massive contributor to health. Dan Buettner, author of Blue Zones, a book about the societies around the world that live the longest, identified social ties as one of the common features of the longest-living societies. A sense of community is powerful. It fosters a feeling of belonging and security among its members, offering a supportive network that can act as a buffer against the psychological stresses of life. When individuals feel part of a community, they are less likely to experience feelings of isolation and loneliness, which are significant risk factors for mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. Moreover, a strong community can provide emotional support during tough times, such as personal loss or health issues, reinforcing an individual's resilience by ensuring they do not face challenges alone. Research has shown that strong social ties can boost a person’s immune system, lower the risk of heart disease, and even increase your lifespan. Additionally, a sense of community plays a crucial role in personal development and empowerment. Communities can act as platforms for sharing knowledge and skills, which can lead to personal and professional growth. People often feel more empowered and motivated to achieve their potential when they know they have the understanding among others who are trying to achieve the same things. Overall, there are too many benefits of community to skip over this one. Having control over your stress and nervous system is a real superpower. ​

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