Anyone else done this :(

[woobug02]

So here goes. I have been married 21 years. After much convincing hubby says I can get a new wedding set for our anniversary. YEAH! Well we went together to look and everything I liked he didn''t (white gold) and everything he liked I didn''t (yellow gold)

So I ended up giving in and going with a yellow set. I have posted it many times. (Marquise with two matching diamond bands) Well since getting the set I am just beside myself trying to add some white gold or platinum to the ring. I had the top rhodiumed and I have ordered to white gold diamond bands for each side to replace the yellow ones.... Here is my question: Am I being rediculous??? Should I just get over it and be happy with what I settled on or should I just go for it and have the set redone the same only in white or platinum? Has anyone else ever worried or stressed their self over a similar situation? I am making my self feel so stupid. The ring is beautiful in yellow and most women would be THRILLED. Then there is me.... GOOFBALL! As for the hubby, honestly he has just washed his hands of the entire sitation. He hates buying jewlery. He thinks the first was fine. Honestly, I get tons of complements but I am always looking.

 

[woobug02]

side

 

[woobug02]

one larger diamond band in yellow

 

[Mara]

I think this may be the third or fourth thread about this same issue, changing the set or making it different somehow. Seriously, just do what YOU want! Why the stress over a jewelry set? Your poor hubby has done what mine does when I obsess over something for weeks...he says DO WHATEVER, if you will stop talking about it.

It's obvious you are unhappy with this set, I personally dislike yellow gold jewelry and would hate to feel 'forced' into wearing something that was not 'me', so I would get the set that YOU want that will make YOU happy, and just be done. I think you have already made the decision in your mind, you may just be looking for agreement from others. Bypass all that and do what you want. Good luck!

 

[Demelza]

I agree. It seems clear that you are not happy with this set. It sounds like you settled for something you didn''t really like and it makes sense that it would still be bugging you. One immediate solution would be to rhodium the entire set. A good jeweler will be able to tell you whether you would get a good result. It won''t last very long, but it will give you an idea of what the set would look like in white. Good luck.

 

[ame]

Why does what HE likes have to be such a major concern? HE doesn''t wear it, YOU do. His opinions should be completely minimal in this case besides PRICE.

 

[madrock]

Date: 9/6/2005 12:51:13 PM
Author: ame
Why does what HE likes have to be such a major concern? HE doesn''t wear it, YOU do. His opinions should be completely minimal in this case besides PRICE.

Not only that, but you said he hates buying jewelry, and you obviously don''t -- so just pick out what you want -- leave him at home. You guys have been married a long time, you obviously have worked out bigger issues than this one.

 

[marvel]

Men really aren't into jewelry (or shopping) like we are. You already have a yellow gold (which he likes) wedding set, now get a white gold, or platimun, set that you like. Women tend to like having their rings redone after about 10 years, so don't feel like you are being unappreciative, or anything, that's just the way we are

I know his opinion is important to you, but I bet once you've found something that you love, he will be happy too!

 

[woobug02]

WOOOOOOOOOOOOO THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! I feel so much better just hearing that I shouldn''t have some wierd loyalty to this set that we bought. I love the stones but want the PLATINUM... Anyone bought from Dirtcheap Diamonds or Blue Nile...

 

[DonaBella]

Date: 9/6/2005 12:09:26 PM
Author:woobug02
So here goes. I have been married 21 years. After much convincing hubby says I can get a new wedding set for our anniversary. YEAH! Well we went together to look and everything I liked he didn''t (white gold) and everything he liked I didn''t (yellow gold)

So I ended up giving in and going with a yellow set. I have posted it many times. (Marquise with two matching diamond bands) Well since getting the set I am just beside myself trying to add some white gold or platinum to the ring. I had the top rhodiumed and I have ordered to white gold diamond bands for each side to replace the yellow ones.... Here is my question: Am I being rediculous??? Should I just get over it and be happy with what I settled on or should I just go for it and have the set redone the same only in white or platinum? Has anyone else ever worried or stressed their self over a similar situation? I am making my self feel so stupid. The ring is beautiful in yellow and most women would be THRILLED. Then there is me.... GOOFBALL! As for the hubby, honestly he has just washed his hands of the entire sitation. He hates buying jewlery. He thinks the first was fine. Honestly, I get tons of complements but I am always looking.

Hi Woobug02...

I understand your viewpoint and your concerns...I, too, am getting reading to celebrate a milestone anniversary--our 25th wedding anniversary--this coming February 14th 2006...and have discussed my desire for an upgraded stone and different setting. Just like what others have already stated to you, you need to go with what YOU want to wear. I, too, have a yellow gold setting and I am so ready for a platinum one...and that is what I will get. I thought myself silly and vain for constantly thinking of updating and upgrading my setting--until I found Pricescope....My first ring set was the most special because it was the set I got engaged with and married with. Then that setting became lost when my two oldest kids played "house" with it the ONE and ONLY time I took it off. I was shattered. Due to $ concerns, I didn''t get a replacement ring--the one I currently am wearing--until 2 years later. I tried to not be greedy and only got the one ring and was content for quite awhile...But now, things are different...we(my hubby and I) are different now, too...we are stronger, we have endured alot together, WE, as a couple, sparkle more...I want that reflected in my new setting and larger center stone. I truly feel this way and shared that with my hubby. Does he feel the same way? Yes, but he still doesn''t get the need for the change in my ring. To him, I have a rock on my hand and that should be plenty. But, because of the way I went about it, he is yielding to see things from my viewpoint. I have now approached huim about this 3 times and each time I emphasize how much this means to me and how when I look at the new ring I will feel a strong of accomplishment with us. We have alot of divorce between our two families and we are the only ones still married except for my parents. My hubby went as far in our last discussion to ask me if I wanted him to surpise me. I quickly and lovingly said no, but that I wanted him to be a part of the whole process like he was with my initial ring...because without his involvement, it wouldn''t have the same meaning. THAT is what got him...and I DO mean it. But he also knows, I VERY much want this and will get it. I cannot comfortably just wear yg or silver jewelry...I wear both, sometimes together...and it looks fine.

I just thought I would share my thoughts, my story, and my intentions...no, we haven''t gone to the jeweler yet, but after educating my hubby a little on Pricescope

, I have talked to 2 jewelers and he and I will then make some appointments.

Thanks for letting me share my story!

 

[mrssalvo]

Woo,
you can do a search on both dirtcheapdiamonds and bluenile and a bunch of threads will pop up. However, i do remember an old post where the gentleman said Bluenile will not set a some else''s stone into one of their settings, so if you are keeping your stone you might have to look at someother options there.

 

[woobug02]

Rough Rock, thank you so much for your story.... It is so similiar to mine expect I should have been more pushy! I was so excited to get an update that I gave in and have spent the last year trying to make it look like me

I am so ashamed to even ask him to look again. He is like your husband and thinks that I had a nice ring, why did I need a new one. I too want platinum or at the very least white gold. We too have been thru many things and have hung tight so I want to look at that ring and say WOW, I love it Thank you again.

 

[Sundial]

Ronda first of all your current setting is VERY pretty, but the important thing is for YOU to be happy with it. We celebrated our 28th anniversary earlier this year and I was feeling that my 14 kt. yellow gold setting (a previous upgrade from my 15th anniversary) was looking outdated. I too wanted a ring in white gold or platinum. I obsessed about buying something online and then my husband surprised me with a new Hearts on Fire three stone ring in a white gold pave setting. It wasn''t exactly the ring I had planned to buy, but fortunately I love it! Then I decided to have my old diamond put in a platinum setting to wear as a right hand ring. I think my husband is ready for my "white metal obsession" to be over now!!! I''m sure that your husband would want you to be happy with your rings. Explore different options. Would you be happy with your current set if it were rhodium plated? Do you want to put your marquise in another setting? There are lots of possibilities, but you want to be sure you will like the outcome this time so you don''t drive hubby nuts!!!

 

[jewelryaddict]

I think that you should do whatever is going to make you happy. I am the kind of person that needs my jewelry to all "match". I don''t like mixing yellow gold and white gold together unless they come two tone. But I am a little obsessive. If you look down at your ring and think "I wish..." than I think you should change it. After getting my new set I feel a sense of relief about obsessing. I''m sure you would feel the same way too. Your husband would probably be happy about it also.

 

[3hearts]

I think your wedding set would look fabulous in white gold or platinum. I would have it reset to what you want because your the one wearing it. Please post pics if you do have it redone

 

[lumpkin]

Oh, yeah. I''ve done it. I don''t know why some of our husbands want so much input on something they care so little about.

Like, if he wanted to buy a new car, would I expect him to buy something I like but he doesn''t, when I don''t even drive it? That seems to be an analogy my husband could relate to.

When we did my 15 year anniversary upgrade, I did pick the ring, which I love. I wanted a new stone and I wanted a pear. My husband only likes rounds and princesses (square). We compromised and got an oval. I didn''t like it much and within a month I sold it and got a pear. We''d have saved so much money if I''d gotten what I wanted in the first place because I didn''t get out of the oval what we paid for it. Thankfully I got the pear on-line for a really, really good price, but we''d have definitely been dollars ahead if I''d just gotten the pear in the first place.

I think in the case of a second or upgrade diamond/ring, you should definitely get what you want, otherwise it''s just going to knaw at you. Unless he happens to get it for his wife out of the blue, it''s usually her idea to upgrade anyway (and chances are she''s at least helping to buy it).

Your feelings are hereby validated, LOL!

 

[anika]

Hi there, Just reinforcing what everyone has said.....
I wanted my husband to be on side - after all the rings signify many years of happy marriage. Then it gets to the point where he just is sick of discussing it. Well this is what I have experienced. My husband doesn''t share my obsession for jewelry as you''d expect but has let me get away with alot. Anyway at the end of the day, this wedding set has to make you happy! You''re the one that is going to stare at it all waking hours of the day.
Go and get it reset in white - you''ll feel a sense of relief and it probably won''t be as big a deal to your husband as you thought.

 

[woobug02]

Should I go ahead and have them rhodium to see if I like this set white ? If I do, how long will it last ???? WOOOO THANK YOU

 

[Odilia]

woobug02, I TOTALLY sympathize with your situation. What you said, “Has anyone else ever worried or stressed their self over a similar situation? I am making myself feel so stupid. The ring is beautiful in yellow and most women would be THRILLED. Then there is me.... GOOFBALL! As for the hubby, honestly he has just washed his hands of the entire situation. He hates buying jewelry. He thinks the first was fine. Honestly, I get tons of compliments but I am always looking.” – I could say all this about my situation, which I too am still working on. Although unlike you and some of the others, I’ve only been married 2.5 years! So I feel like even more of a goofball. I wound up changing my ER setting while we were engaged, and felt like the biggest idiot. Because of all that stress, and because I couldn’t find what I wanted (and really wasn’t even sure WHAT I wanted anymore), I wound up with what I have now, which is also yellow when I wanted white, and I just really don’t like it. It haunts me. The flipside is that because it is my wedding ring and engagement diamond, I am sentimentally attached to both (and I do like my WB sometimes, in certain lighting). I don’t hate yellow gold all the time; part of me would like to keep them but have a white alternative, maybe an anniversary ring. My husband is willing to change it, but as sundial said, I want to be sure I will like the outcome this time so I don''t drive hubby nuts!!! And part of my problem is deciding what outcome I will like!!

So anyway, that said, I agree with the others: do what you really think you’ll like, and don’t feel guilty for not liking the one you have now. I would only try the rhodium plating if the only aspect of your set that you’re unhappy with is the metal color.

And if you want to give me some input on my dilemma, here’s my thread!!

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/help-desperately-need-input-on-what-to-wear-w-wb.31878/