lost on 5th
Shiny_Rock
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aljdewey--- i agree.... if it were me.... knowing how i assign value. i would be very hurt. for me.. there is a point where emotional value outweighs price ..without question.
Any polite way to tell BF he overpaid a ton?
- Thread starter Alexa
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But to me the bigger issue is communication & the way one handles money. That far goes to issue of emotional value for the future - providing the ring can be returned.Date: 4/20/2005 110:18 AM
Author: lost on 5th
aljdewey--- i agree.... if it were me.... knowing how i assign value. i would be very hurt. for me.. there is a point where emotional value outweighs price ..without question.
Way back when, the engagement ring shopping was our first "negoiation" process. Having our first budget & emotional thoughts on different aspect of the diamond & the place of purchase.
I''m not saying that discussing the issue wouldn''t result in hurt feelings. It''s just that in our relationship - looking to the long term - discussing this money issue/purchase would have been a good thing. As stated, this is 3k (1/2 of the total ring cost) - it''s quite a bit of money when someone is just starting out.
Just my point of view.
lost on 5th
Shiny_Rock
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i do see what you are saying... i think it comes down to whats important to them.... and how much the saved money would be needed. without knowing age, profession, or location. its hard to say how great of a financial impact 3k is.
in simply our differing POV''s i think we show how any one answer doesnt resolve the problem. the course of action for you wouldnt be the one for me. .....and neither may work for them. all we can do is throw in our own thoughts to help inform her decision.
bar01
Brilliant_Rock
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Now that's a good idea! Let the appriaser be the bad guy. But don't they always overvalue the rings by a bunch?
[/quote]
Yes, I felt better letting the appraiser be the bad guy - he told him much what I tried to tell him, but I am not "an expert".
My friend was a little bummed after he met with the appraiser (brought his gal in for the process). However, they still like the diamond, despite finding out it is low clarity and cut grade. Since they love the diamond - which is the only real issue. They also found out they got a good deal - which is great too. Now they have a complete report too.
Some appraisers (the bad ones) give over inflated (2x) insurance replacement costs. The good ones give realistic internet and or retail replacement costs.
In the case of my friend - one of the arguments I used to get him into the independent appraiser lab was to say it was really important for insurance purposes to have an independent/detailed report - so he would not over insure - and if anything happened to it - he would have a detailed report to get back exactly what he had. After he went, he told me he was grateful he found this out (real price) and is going to save alot of money each year by insuring at the cost the appraiser gave him - and not the over inflated appraisal letter the jeweler gave him.
I think this would work for this instance too - just say "Honey, it is important to take my ring to an appraiser for a full report so we can have it properly insured" Then give him a name from the pricescope appraiser list and ask that he do this soon. At that time he will find out everything he should have known in the first place - and you’re not the one telling him.
And, I hear what you are saying.Date: 4/20/2005 126:39 PM
Author: lost on 5th
i do see what you are saying... i think it comes down to whats important to them.... and how much the saved money would be needed. without knowing age, profession, or location. its hard to say how great of a financial impact 3k is.
in simply our differing POV''s i think we show how any one answer doesnt resolve the problem. the course of action for you wouldnt be the one for me. .....and neither may work for them. all we can do is throw in our own thoughts to help inform her decision.
I guess after 20 years of marriage, one learns to pick your battles - *if any only if* you really can let it go. 3k would have been HUGE to us at 23 - you''re right we don''t know how far this extra would go for them as a couple. Couples *will* have conflict. It''s best to approach it head on and learn the necessary skills to make your point. Someone''s feelings may be hurt. It''s a hard pill to swallow when your SO doesn''t think your way is the bee''s knee''s. But, if the battle is worth "fighting", then have it. If you don''t, it will fester & manifest into something else. If she truly can''t let it go, I can see a few months into the marriage - her buying steak at x when y has a sale - him innocently pointing this out - her - WELL WHAT ABOUT THE RING RIP OFF! Melodramatic, I know - but I hope I get my point across.
Admittedly, this is a real tricky one. I''d be interested in knowing the outcome.
Date: 4/20/2005 129:42 PM
Author: Bertrand
Now that''s a good idea! Let the appriaser be the bad guy. But don''t they always overvalue the rings by a bunch?
Yes, I felt better letting the appraiser be the bad guy - he told him much what I tried to tell him, but I am not ''an expert''.
[/quote]Yes, but in your case, you had no financial/future issues with your friend - you just wanted him to get good value. This is her future husband. 3rd parties can work wonders - but in this instance - I think it may backfire for two reasons - it''s a little passive agressive *and* the appraiser may send them on their merry way - thus not coming to any resolve for her. This is providing that *indeed* the ring can be purchase for 3k less.
Again, this is a tricky one.
Alexa, you have got some great advice on here
All depends on your man.....for mine he likes the convenience of being able to just go in a store, gets what he wants, pays for it then leaves. He may know he''s paid more but he''s ok with it.
I am the complete opposite - bargain shopper, look around for options, weigh the pros/cons and get the best deal even if it means an agonising wait!
It used to bother me that I thought he was getting ripped off but I have learnt to accept that if he''s ok with it then I''m ok with it. For joint purchases of course we talk and compromise.....but when it comes to buying each other gifts.....I say if it makes him happy doing it his way let him......he obviously thinks you are worth the indulgence !
All depends on your man.....for mine he likes the convenience of being able to just go in a store, gets what he wants, pays for it then leaves. He may know he''s paid more but he''s ok with it.
I am the complete opposite - bargain shopper, look around for options, weigh the pros/cons and get the best deal even if it means an agonising wait!
It used to bother me that I thought he was getting ripped off but I have learnt to accept that if he''s ok with it then I''m ok with it. For joint purchases of course we talk and compromise.....but when it comes to buying each other gifts.....I say if it makes him happy doing it his way let him......he obviously thinks you are worth the indulgence !
MichelleCarmen
Super_Ideal_Rock
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Hi,
Like was mentioned before, IF your BF is very sentimental and romantic, it's best to let this one slide. After I became engaged, I decided the ring I picked out wasn't for me and my then fiance and I exchanged the ring for one I loved and still love. This worked well in my situation because A) the first time around my prefiance just sat there while I tried on rings and pretty much let me have complete control, and B) he wanted to be sure we weren't wasting money on an item that I'd not be entirely happy with.
Since this time, my husband went from totally not interested in my eng. ring (AKA not a jewelry type guy) to one who is extremely sentimental and appauled at the idea of me ever wanting to replace my diamond w/another one. . .
Seeing as how he's changed his views, makes me more inclined to think that any guy who's strongly attached to the symbolism of THAT ring may be more hurt over you wanting to exchange it. If your BF could still care less at this point, then bring up the idea of how much you can save by finding another stone and then using the money saved to spend on a trip or pay off some debt or whatever. . .and you do have a wedding to save up for, too, right?
Like was mentioned before, IF your BF is very sentimental and romantic, it's best to let this one slide. After I became engaged, I decided the ring I picked out wasn't for me and my then fiance and I exchanged the ring for one I loved and still love. This worked well in my situation because A) the first time around my prefiance just sat there while I tried on rings and pretty much let me have complete control, and B) he wanted to be sure we weren't wasting money on an item that I'd not be entirely happy with.
Since this time, my husband went from totally not interested in my eng. ring (AKA not a jewelry type guy) to one who is extremely sentimental and appauled at the idea of me ever wanting to replace my diamond w/another one. . .
Seeing as how he's changed his views, makes me more inclined to think that any guy who's strongly attached to the symbolism of THAT ring may be more hurt over you wanting to exchange it. If your BF could still care less at this point, then bring up the idea of how much you can save by finding another stone and then using the money saved to spend on a trip or pay off some debt or whatever. . .and you do have a wedding to save up for, too, right?
aljdewey
Ideal_Rock
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My feeling is this: if they are to the stage where he is asking for her hand in marriage, she likely already knows "how he handles money" and is fine with it as an overall rule. (I hope!)
Based on what Alexa said, she doesn''t seem to be in the same position you were. If you were "negotiating" about the purchase of the e-ring, it means you had input. You were involved to some degree in the decision-making process. That doesn''t seem to be Alexa''s reality....he seems to want to make this particular purchase himself. The fact that he wants to handle this one himself doesn''t mean he will reject input on joint purchases, nor does it specifically say anything about how responsible he is (or isn''t) in his decision-making.
I understand the concept of consensus when spending/money is joint, but I still believe with all due respect that the e-ring purchase is a man''s puchase. It''s HIS symbol of promise/commitment. He pays for it entirely.
You comment that 3K is a lot when you are just starting out. They may be "just starting out" their committed lives together, but we can''t presume that means they are just starting out financially. Maybe they indeed are, but we don''t know that. When I got engaged, I was 38. We *each* were much more solid financially than we had been individually in our 20s. If he felt that the $3k was going to strap him, it''s hard to imagine why he''s have gone ahead with the purchase.
What I hear when I read Alexa''s post is that it bothers her *conceptually* that he overpaid. I don''t hear "....and that''s going to make it harder for us to buy a house" or ".....and that extra 3K will adversly affect wedding expenses." I don''t hear "....and he does this frequently and I''m worried about our differences in spending theories."
Married life is about compromise and respecting what each other''s comfort levels are. My mother is a die-hard, frugal shopper who values getting the best price, and she''s totally comfortable with internet shopping. My dad, however, is different. He knows that he can likely "save money" getting some things online, but to him, peace of mind in the security of his purchase from someone he can see and a local place to go if there are problems is of MORE value to *him* than getting the best deal. He knows he''s paying more, and he considers that money invested into face-to-face service. On joint purchases, they obviously work it out and compromise on their buying styles. Marriage doesn''t mean every purchase becomes a "joint purchase" either.....some will be, some will be "run it by each other", and some will be individual purchases, so it really depends on what someone''s comfort level is and what they value.
Alexa expressed her concern pre-purchase that he shouldn''t shop at mall stores.....and has tried to point him to online places, which he''s resisted. This tells me that, like many men, he''s not comfortable making this magnitude of purchase online.....and since it''s his purchase, I believe it''s really his call.
mrhammer2u
Rough_Rock
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- Mar 31, 2005
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- 7
Here''s my $.02 from a guys perspective. It''s obvious he already told you he bought a ring and how much he paid. Since the cat is already out of the bag that he bought you a ring and it''s no secret how much he paid,....I would politely tell him to reconsider. You should both get on the web together and search for a diamond you both agree on. For the price you are paying you could get the same size stone but with MUCH better color and clarity. If you saw what he bought you next to a G VS you would be amazed by the difference. Even to the naked eye.
If you approach him the right way and look together I think you will both be happy. Men do take pride in the rock we buy. Being that he will be able to get you a better rock, he will be even more proud. When he sees the smile on your face because your diamond is shining brite,...he will be very happy.
If you approach him the right way and look together I think you will both be happy. Men do take pride in the rock we buy. Being that he will be able to get you a better rock, he will be even more proud. When he sees the smile on your face because your diamond is shining brite,...he will be very happy.
By handling money - I meant how *they* would handle it *together*. She "begged" him not go to the mall. She expressed a strong desire and interest in buying on the net. I think the subject should be approached. It''s my perspective. Nothing more. Nothing less. Given the circumstances presented over the net, I would have issue enough to have a conversation about it. IMHO, while a man''s purchase, it''s the gal that has to wear it daily w/ the emotion associated with the purchase. This is just my opinion. And, it''s not an opinion based soley on $. Alexah can do what she thinks is right for her & her situation. I can only offer what I would do.Date: 4/20/2005 2:50:50 PM
Author: aljdewey
My feeling is this: if they are to the stage where he is asking for her hand in marriage, she likely already knows ''how he handles money'' and is fine with it as an overall rule. (I hope!)
Based on what Alexa said, she doesn''t seem to be in the same position you were. If you were ''negotiating'' about the purchase of the e-ring, it means you had input. You were involved to some degree in the decision-making process. That doesn''t seem to be Alexa''s reality....he seems to want to make this particular purchase himself. The fact that he wants to handle this one himself doesn''t mean he will reject input on joint purchases, nor does it specifically say anything about how responsible he is (or isn''t) in his decision-making.
Alexa expressed her concern pre-purchase that he shouldn''t shop at mall stores.....and has tried to point him to online places, which he''s resisted. This tells me that, like many men, he''s not comfortable making this magnitude of purchase online.....and since it''s his purchase, I believe it''s really his call.
aljdewey
Ideal_Rock
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Date: 4/20/2005 45:25 PM
Author: fire&ice
By handling money - I meant how *they* would handle it *together*. She ''begged'' him not go to the mall. She expressed a strong desire and interest in buying on the net. I think the subject should be approached. It''s my perspective. Nothing more. Nothing less. Given the circumstances presented over the net, I would have issue enough to have a conversation about it. IMHO, while a man''s purchase, it''s the gal that has to wear it daily w/ the emotion associated with the purchase. This is just my opinion. And, it''s not an opinion based soley on $. Alexah can do what she thinks is right for her & her situation. I can only offer what I would do.Date: 4/20/2005 2:50:50 PM
Author: aljdewey
My feeling is this: if they are to the stage where he is asking for her hand in marriage, she likely already knows ''how he handles money'' and is fine with it as an overall rule. (I hope!)
Based on what Alexa said, she doesn''t seem to be in the same position you were. If you were ''negotiating'' about the purchase of the e-ring, it means you had input. You were involved to some degree in the decision-making process. That doesn''t seem to be Alexa''s reality....he seems to want to make this particular purchase himself. The fact that he wants to handle this one himself doesn''t mean he will reject input on joint purchases, nor does it specifically say anything about how responsible he is (or isn''t) in his decision-making.
Alexa expressed her concern pre-purchase that he shouldn''t shop at mall stores.....and has tried to point him to online places, which he''s resisted. This tells me that, like many men, he''s not comfortable making this magnitude of purchase online.....and since it''s his purchase, I believe it''s really his call.
Yep - and my comments were just that too....my perspective...nothing more and nothing less.
phoenixgirl
Ideal_Rock
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Maybe you can show him some comparable stones online and explain that mall stores have a lot of overhead costs and also tend to price high so they can be negotiated down and still make a profit. Online vendors are trying to get you to pick them over the others, so the price is already competitive.
1.03 G VS2 "expert selection" for $4285 (better color and clarity, and problably cut, for less)
Dirt Cheap Diamonds has the following signature princesses which are all less than what he paid (and a lot in the 4k range):
1.00 G VS2
1.00 E VS1
1.01 D SI1
1.02 G VS2
1.04 G VS1
1.04 D VS2
1.04 D VS1
1.08 F SI2
1.08 E VS1
1.09 G VS2
1.18 F SI2
1.35 I VVS2
Here''s another nice option: 1.15 G SI1 for $5500 -- You can up size, color, and clarity, and save $900.
1.03 G VS2 "expert selection" for $4285 (better color and clarity, and problably cut, for less)
Dirt Cheap Diamonds has the following signature princesses which are all less than what he paid (and a lot in the 4k range):
1.00 G VS2
1.00 E VS1
1.01 D SI1
1.02 G VS2
1.04 G VS1
1.04 D VS2
1.04 D VS1
1.08 F SI2
1.08 E VS1
1.09 G VS2
1.18 F SI2
1.35 I VVS2
Here''s another nice option: 1.15 G SI1 for $5500 -- You can up size, color, and clarity, and save $900.
- Joined
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Alexa: You've had a lot of advice. A lot depends on the two of you and the roles you play in the relationship. I think you could say you were thrilled about how important a purchase your BF made and that you really love him. You then might ask if he would mind spending a whole lot less for something very similar and that you'd be willing to put the difference into the Honeymoon Fund, or the home down payment fund.
Truthfully, I feel badly for young people struggling today to make a good show even with two big incomes and housing so overpriced that you will struggle for years to afford a lifestyle something reminiscent of your parents or grandparents who may have only had one working spouse, decent savings and a pretty good net worth at age 65.
Become a team player early in the relationship. Make suggestions that save money. Don't be afraid to be viewed as smart about things. Being smart is way better than being seen as naive or dumb. Make the most of yourself and what you have to offer to both of you. If the ring is beyond returning, then wear it and remember to do a better job whenever the occasion arises again. It is probably one of the first big purchases and far from the last.
Truthfully, I feel badly for young people struggling today to make a good show even with two big incomes and housing so overpriced that you will struggle for years to afford a lifestyle something reminiscent of your parents or grandparents who may have only had one working spouse, decent savings and a pretty good net worth at age 65.
Become a team player early in the relationship. Make suggestions that save money. Don't be afraid to be viewed as smart about things. Being smart is way better than being seen as naive or dumb. Make the most of yourself and what you have to offer to both of you. If the ring is beyond returning, then wear it and remember to do a better job whenever the occasion arises again. It is probably one of the first big purchases and far from the last.
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Alexa
you got to tell him,3k is no chump change.i know i wouldn''t mind if someone told me i can buy the same product cheaper some place else.
you got to tell him,3k is no chump change.i know i wouldn''t mind if someone told me i can buy the same product cheaper some place else.
hanshananigan
Rough_Rock
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2005
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- 16
1. does his price include tax?
2. from quotes I see here and BlueNile, $3400-$4500 pretax looks right for that ring. Typically, online prices are going to be cheaper than anywhere in town, especially including tax, insurance for shipping, etc. But the difference might be closer to $2000 or less, everything said and done.
3. is he a "face man?" does he prefer to buy from people directly? you have to pay for that, and considering the blunders some folks have online, it might be worth it. I paid a little extra to go local, and now have a "go to guy" for future purchases.
4. what is his time worth? I am a grad student and probably squeezed in 100+ hrs doing research on rings/diamonds (it really does add up!!! It took me a long time to find pricescope.com, which I consider the best site out there. "pricescope?" what the hell does that mean?!?!?). And to get that much time away from yer g-friend to put in the hrs can be difficult. If you think of it as opportunity cost, the prolonged info-gathering, the hours of research (at what, $20 per hour?), the time it takes away from other things, etc it might have been to his (and your) benefit to get you a ring he feels is perfect from the local mall.
5. but then again, perhaps he could have spent 5 hrs with the links you recommended and saved $1-2K at a local store, and another $500-$1k for dropping the carat weight to .9 or so... good luck when you guys start buying cars and houses together! (keep your hand on that checkbook!)
best of luck!
2. from quotes I see here and BlueNile, $3400-$4500 pretax looks right for that ring. Typically, online prices are going to be cheaper than anywhere in town, especially including tax, insurance for shipping, etc. But the difference might be closer to $2000 or less, everything said and done.
3. is he a "face man?" does he prefer to buy from people directly? you have to pay for that, and considering the blunders some folks have online, it might be worth it. I paid a little extra to go local, and now have a "go to guy" for future purchases.
4. what is his time worth? I am a grad student and probably squeezed in 100+ hrs doing research on rings/diamonds (it really does add up!!! It took me a long time to find pricescope.com, which I consider the best site out there. "pricescope?" what the hell does that mean?!?!?). And to get that much time away from yer g-friend to put in the hrs can be difficult. If you think of it as opportunity cost, the prolonged info-gathering, the hours of research (at what, $20 per hour?), the time it takes away from other things, etc it might have been to his (and your) benefit to get you a ring he feels is perfect from the local mall.
5. but then again, perhaps he could have spent 5 hrs with the links you recommended and saved $1-2K at a local store, and another $500-$1k for dropping the carat weight to .9 or so... good luck when you guys start buying cars and houses together! (keep your hand on that checkbook!)
best of luck!
I would not be happy if I overpaid for diamond and my fiance knowingly did not just come out in the open and tell me "hey you can buy diamonds online at "wholesale" rate and not the inflated mall rate". It doesn''t matter if he is loaded, but if he like most guys getting a E-ring, he is forking out ALL the money he have and would not want to be ripped off for the most important purchase in his life.
You guys are about to get engaged.. if he is duped, you are duped too.. if it is no big deal.. don''t kick up a fuss. But if it is, then bring it up without any sugarcoat whatsoever.. that''s the way I prefer it. You know him better and if he can''t take this assistant from his partner, then don''t.
This is a test in the relationship too..
You guys are about to get engaged.. if he is duped, you are duped too.. if it is no big deal.. don''t kick up a fuss. But if it is, then bring it up without any sugarcoat whatsoever.. that''s the way I prefer it. You know him better and if he can''t take this assistant from his partner, then don''t.
This is a test in the relationship too..
Yeah... you definitely should just come out and tell him.
The first time I got enagaged (3 years ago... I won''t go into that), I bought an EGL certified 1.16 ct H VVS2 princess cut for $3,600.
Now that was a deal I was happy about. Not sure if you can find a similar deal today... but certainly a heck of a lot better deal than he got.
Maybe you can say it in a way in which you talk about the ways the money that you save could be spent on enhancing the honeymoon you are planning. Maybe instead of 5 nights in Hawaii, with that extra money it can be 2 weeks in Hawaii!
The first time I got enagaged (3 years ago... I won''t go into that), I bought an EGL certified 1.16 ct H VVS2 princess cut for $3,600.
Now that was a deal I was happy about. Not sure if you can find a similar deal today... but certainly a heck of a lot better deal than he got.
Maybe you can say it in a way in which you talk about the ways the money that you save could be spent on enhancing the honeymoon you are planning. Maybe instead of 5 nights in Hawaii, with that extra money it can be 2 weeks in Hawaii!
pearcrazy
Brilliant_Rock
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Just let your sweetie make his proposal and hear him our before you say anything. I want to tell you about a similar situation that my DH and I were in.
For Christmas one year I told DH that I wanted a diamond heart shaped pendant. I was thinking of something reasonable in the $200-250 range, 14k gold, nothing outrageous. I'd seen an ad in the paper for a $199 special at Zales. (
yes ZALES, this was a long before PS!)
What I got on Christmas day was a stunning open heart shaped necklace with .50 points of E/F colored diamonds in 18k gold bought at a Carlysle and Co. (mall) store. Apparantly it was from one of their "special" collections. I found the receipt and noticed that he'd paid $900 and financed it 90 days same as cash. I freaked out and really wanted to return the necklace thinking that he'd paid wayyy too much. When I hinted around that maybe it was overpriced and too much money for us to be spending at the time he looked a little hurt. He was so pleased with himself for finding me such a treasure. After I thought about it I was really touched that he'd gone to such lengths to find me such a fabulous necklace so I decided to just enjoy it and try not to worry about how overpriced it was.
After he'd purhased the necklace but before he gave it to me on Christmas day, I discovered that I was pregnant with our first child. We'd been trying to get pregnant for years. We'd been through 2 heartbreaking years of fertility treatments. That diamond heart necklace means so much to me today, I wear it almost every single day, it's a wonderful reminder of that time in our lives, that wonderful joyful Christmas when we found out that we were finally going to be parents. Now that I know a little more about diamonds and jewelry, I can appreciate what a fine piece of jewelry it really is. I still know he paid wayy too much for it at the time. It is priceless to me now.
Sometimes it's about a little more than how much something COSTS, it's about what somethng is WORTH.
For Christmas one year I told DH that I wanted a diamond heart shaped pendant. I was thinking of something reasonable in the $200-250 range, 14k gold, nothing outrageous. I'd seen an ad in the paper for a $199 special at Zales. (
What I got on Christmas day was a stunning open heart shaped necklace with .50 points of E/F colored diamonds in 18k gold bought at a Carlysle and Co. (mall) store. Apparantly it was from one of their "special" collections. I found the receipt and noticed that he'd paid $900 and financed it 90 days same as cash. I freaked out and really wanted to return the necklace thinking that he'd paid wayyy too much. When I hinted around that maybe it was overpriced and too much money for us to be spending at the time he looked a little hurt. He was so pleased with himself for finding me such a treasure. After I thought about it I was really touched that he'd gone to such lengths to find me such a fabulous necklace so I decided to just enjoy it and try not to worry about how overpriced it was.
After he'd purhased the necklace but before he gave it to me on Christmas day, I discovered that I was pregnant with our first child. We'd been trying to get pregnant for years. We'd been through 2 heartbreaking years of fertility treatments. That diamond heart necklace means so much to me today, I wear it almost every single day, it's a wonderful reminder of that time in our lives, that wonderful joyful Christmas when we found out that we were finally going to be parents. Now that I know a little more about diamonds and jewelry, I can appreciate what a fine piece of jewelry it really is. I still know he paid wayy too much for it at the time. It is priceless to me now.
Sometimes it's about a little more than how much something COSTS, it's about what somethng is WORTH.
Diachi
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2005
- Messages
- 175
Okay, this may just be from a "newly" in love (four years) person but I believe that the person you are agreeing to (or thinking about) marrying should be your best friend, confessor, and partner. This means that you trust him/her with everything, love them with all your heart, and can work through the world's hard times together.
It might be because we are still young (but pretty well-off finacially for people our age) but IMO $3,000 is a lot of money to "waste" no matter how well-off you are!
Me and my bf have talked about how we have both always dreamed of being suprised/suprising our future fiance with an engagement but when it gets down to it, he (and I) are best friends that can't keep a THING from each other-let alone an engagement, LOL! He realizes that I have to "know" (I am a research junkie!) what is going on in any major purchase and trusts me to steer him in the right direction towards what I want since he does not enjoy researching as much as I do. From there, he will continue the search and suprise me with the setting (HA-I gave him three choices!). But he and I know that the rock/ring means more that just the purchase of it-this is FOREVER and if we can't work together on this and be honest and really listen to each other, there is NO hope for us in the future...Just IMO but a the ring/diamond decision is a very important step in your relationship that can be a HUGE, tell-tale sign of what the future holds...
It might be because we are still young (but pretty well-off finacially for people our age) but IMO $3,000 is a lot of money to "waste" no matter how well-off you are!
Me and my bf have talked about how we have both always dreamed of being suprised/suprising our future fiance with an engagement but when it gets down to it, he (and I) are best friends that can't keep a THING from each other-let alone an engagement, LOL! He realizes that I have to "know" (I am a research junkie!) what is going on in any major purchase and trusts me to steer him in the right direction towards what I want since he does not enjoy researching as much as I do. From there, he will continue the search and suprise me with the setting (HA-I gave him three choices!). But he and I know that the rock/ring means more that just the purchase of it-this is FOREVER and if we can't work together on this and be honest and really listen to each other, there is NO hope for us in the future...Just IMO but a the ring/diamond decision is a very important step in your relationship that can be a HUGE, tell-tale sign of what the future holds...
MissAva
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2005
- Messages
- 8,230
Having just re-read the orignal post, I think the answer is no. There is not a polite way to tell you Bf that he overpaid. However that doesn''t mean you have to be rude. Just remember to be sensitive and he will likely be happy you told him. I hope you update us soon.
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