An internet Dating Profile for Perry

[kenny]

Just to lighten the mood here are some funny personal ads I came across.
I have edited a few to clean them up.

Jane no good, Cheetah stinks.
Tarzan seeks swinging GM to be the lord of his jungle.

SWM, old, fat, balding, many disgusting habits seeks SWF with money.
Send pictures of your house, car, RV.
This could be your lucky day.

JELLO BOY-SWM who likes to slowly fold canned fruit into jello, seeks female partner for distinctly American activities.
Dirty pigeons need not respond.

Patriarch of up-and-coming religion seeks altar girl

Hideous-looking, obese, smelly, ill-tempered, lazy, cowardly, chronic, and a complete liar seeks total opposite.

SWM into chainsaws and hockey masks seek likeminded SWF.
No weirdos, please.

SWM seeks 300lb+ woman to sit and squash doughnuts on me.

Bitter, unsuccessful middle aged loser wallowing in an unending sea of inert, drooping loneliness looking for 24 year old needy leech-like hanger-on to abuse with dull stories, tired sex and Herb Alpert albums.
Baby, you are my Tijuana Taxi.

Me -- trying to sleep on the bus station bench, pleading with you to give me a cigarette; you-choking on my odor, tripping over your purse trying to get away; at the last moment, our eyes meeting.
Yours were blue.
Can I have a dollar?

I like eating mayonnaise and peanut butter sandwiches in the rain, watching Barney Miller reruns, peeing on birds in the park and licking strangers on the subway; you eat beets raw, have climbed Kilimanjaro, and sweat freely and often.
Must wear size five shoes.

There is a little place in the jumbled sock drawer of my heart where you match up all the pairs, throw out the ones with holes in them, and buy me some of those neat dressy ones with the weird black and red geometrical designs on them.

Angry, simple-minded, balding, partially blind ex-circus flipper boy with a passion for covering lovers in sour cream and gravy seeks exotic, heavily tattooed piercing fanatic, preferably hairy and stinky, either sex, for whippings, bizarre sex and fashion consulting.
No freaks.

 

[Haven]

sba--Yes, I''m glad we have them now. It is a bit humbling to read the ridiculous profiles I just posted for EVERYONE to see, and I always get a bit red in the face when we pull them out, but I''m happy we have them.
I also have proof that DH and I both misrepresented our height. 5''9" my arse!

He''s barely 5''8" and I''m 5''10" if I really care to stand up straight.

 

[monarch64]

Date: 2/24/2010 12:52:22 PM
Author: Haven
sba--Yes, I''m glad we have them now. It is a bit humbling to read the ridiculous profiles I just posted for EVERYONE to see, and I always get a bit red in the face when we pull them out, but I''m happy we have them.
I also have proof that DH and I both misrepresented our height. 5''9'' my arse!

He''s barely 5''8'' and I''m 5''10'' if I really care to stand up straight.

Haven--SO most definitely misrepresented his height--he told me he was 6'' and we are exactly the same height--5''10".

I suppose he thought it was fair to round up, but when you''re a 5''10" female (as you well know), every inch matters!!!

 

[Haven]

Date: 2/24/2010 12:52:08 PM
Author: kenny
Just to lighten the mood here are some funny personal ads I came across.

Love these!

The funniest segment I''ve ever heard on NPR was about this book They Call Me Naughtly Lola, a compilation of personal ads from The London Review of Books.

A peek:

Shy, ugly man, fond of extended periods of self-pity, middle aged, flatulent and overweight, seeks the impossible.

Eager-to-please woman, 36, seeks domineering man to take advantage of her flagging confidence. Tell me I''m pretty, then watch me cling.

Unashamed triumphalist male for the past 46 years. Will I bore you? Probably. Do I care? Probably not.

Bastard. Complete and utter. Whatever you do, don''t reply -- you''ll only regret it.

Note to self: Add this book to the list for next library trip.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 2/24/2010 12:46:30 PM
Author: Haven
I''m almost embarrassed to say that I still have the online profiles that DH and I posted when we found each other! He printed them out and brought them to me on our second date and said ''We might want to keep these so we can look back at them and laugh at ourselves one day.'' So, I did. And we do.

------------------

Here''s what my DH wrote in the About Me section of his profile:

A boy from the city who loves to get away and experience other places. Here, I have close friends and family ties. My father''s sachel and strong work ethic, and my mother''s compassion and joy for life have impacted me. I''m not perfect, but always look to better myself and learn from experiences. Here''s where I could state the usual: ''I like restaurants, theatre, reading, sports, outdoors, '' yada yada. Try this on for size--I have a drum kit, two anatomical skeletons for studying (and for scaring opposing condos), an immense music collection (all eras), incredible handy skills, and a dream to one day cage dive with great whites. Tell me about your interests and dreams, I welcome your hello.

Here''s what I wrote in the About Me section:

I love a good laugh, good food, and great company. Can''t get enough of Frank Sinatra. I will never be too old to run through sprinklers on a hot day, or jump in puddles on a rainy one. I''ve never met a dog I didn''t like. Or a novel. Traveling is swell. Traveling with good friends makes your world seem a whole lot bigger. Traveling without good friends makes you wonder what you went out searching for in the first place. I refuse to live my life according to anyone else''s plan, and I expect nothing less from the people I surround myself with.
And I must warn you--I am a silly, silly kid.

------------------------

Now, I was 23 when I wrote that, and I have to say mine isn''t the best profile. It doesn''t even do a great job of sharing what I previously told you I was looking for. But there it is, as it was, nearly six years ago.

I think DH did a better job in his description. The only parts I didn''t like were the ''impacted me'' bit and the last line, it sounded weird to me. BUT, he was awfully cute and I was intrigued, so I didn''t let that scare me off.

Please no harsh criticisms, everyone. I''m sharing these for Perry''s benefit, I know we sound cheesy and nerdy and all that, but we were just two people looking for love, so we were willing to endure a bit of cheesiness to find it. And I don''t regret one word of it--those profiles led us to each other, and we couldn''t be happier.

I like both profiles Haven...very sweet and funny.

 

[kama_s]

Date: 2/24/2010 12:46:30 PM
Author: Haven
Here's what I wrote in the About Me section:

I love a good laugh, good food, and great company. Can't get enough of Frank Sinatra. I will never be too old to run through sprinklers on a hot day, or jump in puddles on a rainy one. I've never met a dog I didn't like. Or a novel. Traveling is swell. Traveling with good friends makes your world seem a whole lot bigger. Traveling without good friends makes you wonder what you went out searching for in the first place. I refuse to live my life according to anyone else's plan, and I expect nothing less from the people I surround myself with.
And I must warn you--I am a silly, silly kid.

I don't think I would've even bothered reading past that line - I would've sent you a message asap and waited anxiously next to my computer for your response! Haven, your profile is SO cute, and so very YOU. I also really love your husband's profile as well - I can see why you were sttracted to him! LOL @ scaring neighbors with skeletons! Cute and quirky!

 

[Maisie]

Haven, thank you for sharing your profiles. I loved reading them.

Whitby, does your husband have a brother? I might be a little jaded and rough around the edges but I make lovely cakes!

 

[Haven]

Thanks, TGal. I just suffered a brief wave of regret for posting those, but it was brief.

I just read the rest of our profiles and had to laugh at what DH wrote about his perfect match:
I wold like to meet a happy person who is playful and passionate. Someone who is active, engaging, well meaning, enjoys travel, and views the world with optimism. Family is important, as is spending time together.

What's funny is that he knew himself well enough at the time to know that even though he isn't playful and passionate, that's what he wanted. Interesting. As I said, his was a much better profile.

ETA: Thanks Kama and Maisie! I was scared I'd get ripped apart after posting those. Shame on me, I should know my PS friends better than that. You guys are too sweet.

 

[Arkteia]

Date: 2/24/2010 12:52:46 AM
Author: Regular Guy

Date: 2/24/2010 12:39:53 AM
Author: TravelingGal

Take out the fact that it''s not really fair to the other women if it really is a bait and switch. I''m just talking odds here.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyrano_de_Bergerac_(play) ?


The above...a minor point.

T Gal (gal?)...hope you''re feeling better, and no offence, and enjoy your writing.

Points of the need to ''throw ideas against the wall until they stick'' notwithstanding...

My main point is that the folks who work in ''product development,'' or invention, etc, and the folks in marketing...are different departments.

But still...

But the bottom line is that this profile needs to be improved.

ok, yes...

Whatever the meaning of your posting, thank you for mentioning Cyrano. I always cry when during the last scene, Roxanne tells Cyrano that he stole his own happiness...

 

[Arkteia]

Date: 2/24/2010 12:39:53 AM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 2/24/2010 12:27:35 AM
Author: whitby_2773


T-Gal -

this makes perry sound warm and friendly, funny, sharp and quick witted, like someone who can encapsulate what they want to say...and deliver it cleanly and directly. he sounds confident, ''on it'', and as tho he knows where he''s going. in other words...

he sounds like you. (which is probably why you''re happily married - and perry, not so much)

perry - the thing about writing one''s profile is that it *does* reveal who we are. if you feel your write-up reflects who you are, then leave it. while a few suggestions are fine, be careful that it still sounds the way you''re going to sound when you meet whoever responds...in real life.

good luck in finding someone special

Whitby, first, thanks for the compliments.

Second, I totally agree that profiles DO reveal who you are. However Perry is insisting on Internet dating. If we were to cling to the hope that he is much better in person (and I say this because I''ve seen TGuy write...horrible chalk board screeching stuff to my English major''s ears, and yet I adore him in person), then he needs the opportunity.

Someone wrote in the other thread about the odds of meeting someone. Let''s say Perry needs to meet 100 women to find one he can click with...he''s not going to do it meeting 4-6 women a year. Yes, he may have to set himself up to get rejected 99 times, but I wonder...is it better to fluff the profile a bit to have a better chance at finding someone if he is going to insist on dating this way?

Take out the fact that it''s not really fair to the other women if it really is a bait and switch. I''m just talking odds here.

But the bottom line is that this profile needs to be improved. Wipe it clean with a bowel towel, folks!!!

It was me calculating the odds. I believe it is better to fluff the profile to have a better chance of meeting a 100 women! Because each time he is rejected, he learns a little bit. He can even post his experience with dating here and our mentors may explain to him why he got rejected.

First impression is incredibly important. If you like something in a person (say, a deep voice - women were shown to find deep male voice "sexy"), you may be apt to giving him a second change even if what he says is total nonsense. But if you see a heavy, shortset, balding guy AND he has not mentioned any of these things in his posting you may be disappointed. Persnally I have nothing against heavy, shortset and balding guys as long as I know what to expect. If he makes himself "interesting" but fails to mention some things that make him "not interesting" - just visually - she will be disappointed even before he opens his mouth.

 

[Arkteia]

Date: 2/24/2010 12:52:08 PM
Author: kenny
Just to lighten the mood here are some funny personal ads I came across.
I have edited a few to clean them up.

Jane no good, Cheetah stinks.
Tarzan seeks swinging GM to be the lord of his jungle.

SWM, old, fat, balding, many disgusting habits seeks SWF with money.
Send pictures of your house, car, RV.
This could be your lucky day.

JELLO BOY-SWM who likes to slowly fold canned fruit into jello, seeks female partner for distinctly American activities.
Dirty pigeons need not respond.

Patriarch of up-and-coming religion seeks altar girl

Hideous-looking, obese, smelly, ill-tempered, lazy, cowardly, chronic, and a complete liar seeks total opposite.

SWM into chainsaws and hockey masks seek likeminded SWF.
No weirdos, please.

SWM seeks 300lb+ woman to sit and squash doughnuts on me.

Bitter, unsuccessful middle aged loser wallowing in an unending sea of inert, drooping loneliness looking for 24 year old needy leech-like hanger-on to abuse with dull stories, tired sex and Herb Alpert albums.
Baby, you are my Tijuana Taxi.

Me -- trying to sleep on the bus station bench, pleading with you to give me a cigarette; you-choking on my odor, tripping over your purse trying to get away; at the last moment, our eyes meeting.
Yours were blue.
Can I have a dollar?

I like eating mayonnaise and peanut butter sandwiches in the rain, watching Barney Miller reruns, peeing on birds in the park and licking strangers on the subway; you eat beets raw, have climbed Kilimanjaro, and sweat freely and often.
Must wear size five shoes.

There is a little place in the jumbled sock drawer of my heart where you match up all the pairs, throw out the ones with holes in them, and buy me some of those neat dressy ones with the weird black and red geometrical designs on them.

Angry, simple-minded, balding, partially blind ex-circus flipper boy with a passion for covering lovers in sour cream and gravy seeks exotic, heavily tattooed piercing fanatic, preferably hairy and stinky, either sex, for whippings, bizarre sex and fashion consulting.
No freaks.

You know what? Most of guys posting these ads would get a lot of answers! First, you know the worst about the person so there will be no disappointment. Second, it shows sense of humor. If Perry wrhote something alonge these lines (except for the sex one)...very many women will not pass on him. Moreover, they will listen to his talk expecting this "punch line".

 

[princesss]

Haven, what I love about your profile and your DH''s is that personality shines through. You like to jump in puddles, and your DH uses his skeletons to scare the neighbours. You''re my kind of people! It''s little personal details like those that make profiles eye-catching, IMO.

Perry, take a good look at the profiles she posted. You can sense that there''s a person behind the profile, and you know what they''re like. Your profile is very generic - anybody could have written it. Tell us about YOU, not a laundry list of what you expect from this future SO, nor a list of platitudes about what a relationship is.

 

[tlh]

Haven, my BFF met her hubby online, and they too saved the profiles. Both profiles were endeering... you each shared something, and reading it - well it felt real. Yours showed off that you were a bit younger, but it didn''t detract from the sentiment. His, the last line actually seemed very charming.

I got to read my BFFs profiles in the wedding album her husband created. Uh, not to say any profile was... bad. But both of their profiles were very superficial. His said, something like, want a young blonde girl around 90 pounds... etc. Physical descriptors, and it described him - and it read about his money, and career more than genuine interests.

Hers was also very " I want a guy who is strong, into sports, tall, and good looking with chisled features." the about her section was that she''d like to be a stay at home mom someday...

I''m not posting their profile info to be mean or pick it apart, but just to show, it does reflect who you are. Poorly written profiles, don''t mean you won''t find a mate. They are happily married and TTC right now... but when you write it yourself it should give a sense of who you are. I couldn''t write it for either of them... because it would be "me" coming through... but, Perry, it might be nice if you had someone write something "from their eyes" on how they see you.. adn include it in there somewhere. I''m sure others see you in a different light than you see yourself.. but sometimes there are subtle things that come accross that aren''t in your profile... just with tone and word usage.. and people will add wahtever meaning or subtext they like.

The bit about the cats, I''m thumbs up for saying you''d have a cat allergy. If you order a meal and had a peanut allergy, you''d tell the restuarant - and not .. "chance it" right??? I don''t see the difference here, except people can be more attached to their furry family members than a restaurant is about their menu. Cats are easy, and great non-needy companions. So often times when living the busy single life- they are a lot easier to deal with, and may be why a lot of the women you''re getting matched with, have cats. But most cat ladies don''t want to get rid of precious mr. wiggles for a guy. So I do think it is good to include in your snippet. You don''t want to come across mean, but I do think that from what you said - your allergy is non-neogtiable. My husband takes singular and advair daily to control his allergies... but he told me he was allergic to cats and I just threw my cat in his face. (Our meeting is weird, and we were gonna be roommates - so he HAD to get used to her.. but that is another story.)

I think including it in your profile isn''t bad. I also think that I felt like you wrote a lot of really vague ideas, that really sound nice on paper, but I didn''t get a feeling for .. YOU. I did get that you werent looking for a meaningless fling, and that sounds nice. A lot of online guys can be not so nice (I know a few) who use it as a source to prey on vulnerable ladies for one night stands. So from my perspective, when I read that I thought... that is actually really NICE. I''d like it if you expanded on the parks, light hiking, and reading... that would be great. I don''t really need to feel like I already know you when I read your post... but that I REALLY WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU!

I think what I like about the other profiles I''ve seen was that you had a sense of the person in them... and Haven''s hubbies last line.. I don''t know why... was just GREAT! My friend, well she is happily married, and her guy responded to her ad. He does not have chisled features. Actually he looks like a pet hamster I had- storing up his harvest... but the way he wrote his add - gave off a VERY cocky vibe. I HATED HIS PROFILE. YUK. But... she loved it. Hence why they are married... and I am married to someone else. My point is... there really is a perfect person for you out there... and don''t be afraid to respond to ads where you don''t meet all the qualifications of the ads... just meet for coffee... or a drink to lighten the mood. But once you''ll meet your perfect match, it will be great.

Good luck to you. Your special someone is out there... WAITING.

 

[LilyKat]

Perry:

- make a list of the things you love, enjoy, and are interested in
- make a list of what YOU can bring to a relationship

Spend some time thinking about these. I mean, REALLY thinking. You need to revise your attitude to dating and relationships, from focusing exclusively on what YOU want, to wanting to make another person happy. And you know what? Sometimes, that''s going to mean driving 200 miles when her tyre is flat, because that''s what people who love each other do.

There is a lot of choice for quality women out there. The brutal truth is that an older man who is starting up a business and is allergic to cats may not be the top choice. You need to start improving yourself and selling yourself in order to draw in enough responses to choose from. Start being the sort of partner you would like to meet.

Now write your own profile in plain simple English. I can guarantee it will be better.

 

[monarch64]

Date: 2/24/2010 1:45:27 PM
Author: princesss
Haven, what I love about your profile and your DH''s is that personality shines through. You like to jump in puddles, and your DH uses his skeletons to scare the neighbours. You''re my kind of people! It''s little personal details like those that make profiles eye-catching, IMO.

Perry, take a good look at the profiles she posted. You can sense that there''s a person behind the profile, and you know what they''re like. Your profile is very generic - anybody could have written it. Tell us about YOU, not a laundry list of what you expect from this future SO, nor a list of platitudes about what a relationship is.

I think what it''s lacking is CHARM. It''s not the content, it''s the way it''s presented.

 

[tlh]

Date: 2/24/2010 1:44:43 PM
Author: crasru

You know what? Most of guys posting these ads would get a lot of answers! First, you know the worst about the person so there will be no disappointment. Second, it shows sense of humor. If Perry wrhote something alonge these lines (except for the sex one)...very many women will not pass on him. Moreover, they will listen to his talk expecting this ''punch line''.

I acutally agree with this... and I also think that a lot of women like to be in the .. well that isn''t me.. I''m better than them camp... than the beat it down thing. becuase it wasn''t until I read all the other lines bashing this (when it wasn''t even in the profile) that I thought anything of it. My first instinct was... why would I call you for a flat tire? I''d call AAA and get it fixed while I wait warmly, and safely in my car.

Cockiness sells... and it may because of the root of that word, and what that means. Winkies!

But I agree... good point!

 

[princesss]

Date: 2/24/2010 1:53:19 PM
Author: monarch64

Date: 2/24/2010 1:45:27 PM
Author: princesss
Haven, what I love about your profile and your DH''s is that personality shines through. You like to jump in puddles, and your DH uses his skeletons to scare the neighbours. You''re my kind of people! It''s little personal details like those that make profiles eye-catching, IMO.

Perry, take a good look at the profiles she posted. You can sense that there''s a person behind the profile, and you know what they''re like. Your profile is very generic - anybody could have written it. Tell us about YOU, not a laundry list of what you expect from this future SO, nor a list of platitudes about what a relationship is.

I think what it''s lacking is CHARM. It''s not the content, it''s the way it''s presented.

Good point. Very good point.

 

[LilyKat]

Oh, and like Haven and sba, I also met my now fiance on a popular dating website. In fact, I signed up on a Wednesday, had my first match (him) delivered that night, spoke on Friday, met up on Saturday, and got engaged 10 months later

What attracted me to his profile was that is was simple, down-to-earth and honest, with a sense of humour. There were no pretentious long-winded sentences or lists of what he didn''t want (which would have turned me right off). He described himself as he would to a friend, focusing on what he liked doing with his time. It was light and friendly, and his kindness and generosity came across without him having to explicitly state he had either of those qualities.

And I wish I still had his profile! Mine, not so much

 

[whitby_2773]

Date: 2/24/2010 1:15:11 PM
Author: Maisie
Haven, thank you for sharing your profiles. I loved reading them.


Whitby, does your husband have a brother? I might be a little jaded and rough around the edges but I make lovely cakes!

Maisie - "makes cakes" is a category on ANY worthwhile dating profile, in my opinion! i''d snap up a woman who cooks in a heartbeat if i was single and male...

(ok - that last part is a stretch, but you get my drift)

 

[Maisie]

I get you whitby! When I''m ready I will be sure to broadcast my cake skills! Hey, I wonder if Perry can cook?

 

[JulieN]

Date: 2/24/2010 1:49:12 PM
Author: tlh
Haven, my BFF met her hubby online, and they too saved the profiles. Both profiles were endeering... you each shared something, and reading it - well it felt real. Yours showed off that you were a bit younger, but it didn''t detract from the sentiment. His, the last line actually seemed very charming.


I got to read my BFFs profiles in the wedding album her husband created. Uh, not to say any profile was... bad. But both of their profiles were very superficial. His said, something like, want a young blonde girl around 90 pounds... etc. Physical descriptors, and it described him - and it read about his money, and career more than genuine interests.


Hers was also very '' I want a guy who is strong, into sports, tall, and good looking with chisled features.'' the about her section was that she''d like to be a stay at home mom someday...


I''m not posting their profile info to be mean or pick it apart, but just to show, it does reflect who you are. Poorly written profiles, don''t mean you won''t find a mate. They are happily married and TTC right now... but when you write it yourself it should give a sense of who you are. I couldn''t write it for either of them... because it would be ''me'' coming through... but, Perry, it might be nice if you had someone write something ''from their eyes'' on how they see you.. adn include it in there somewhere. I''m sure others see you in a different light than you see yourself.. but sometimes there are subtle things that come accross that aren''t in your profile... just with tone and word usage.. and people will add wahtever meaning or subtext they like.

But I''m guessing they both were pretty good looking, amirite?

 

[whitby_2773]

seriously, the older i get the more amazed i am by the number of guys who cooking an attractive skill! when i was younger, being able to cook = frumpy. but the older i get, the more i've cooked for other couples and seen the male in the partner sort of say to his partner "why can't/don't *you* cook like that??"

giving a guy a great meal never hurt a girl's chances! and what is this love affair most men seem to have with steak?? gees louise...

i think we're on to something, maisie...

 

[Maisie]

I think we are Whitby. Maybe we need to start a dating site for good cooks and good eaters!

 

[perry]

I would like to thank all of you who have provided constructive criticism and suggestions. Some of it is obvious, and I have obviously had my focus in the wrong direction. Others of it I will have to think on about how to incorporate (or even if it is right for me).

It may take me a bit to work on a new profile as I am struggling with a bad cold at the moment and only have short periods where I can function mentally (and this post has taken a lot of time to write compared to normal).

At some point I will write a new profile (or perhaps several) for further consideration. Right now I have a lot to think about.

Date: 2/24/2010 1:23:57 AM
Author: VRBeauty
Perry: even though this is a fairly anonymous internet site, it takes guts to put a personal ad up there for comment and criticism as you did, especially since you know what a tough audience you''re dealing with here! So you''re either pretty courageous and motivated, or very desperate. I''m guessing it''s the former. Something to keep in mind as you fine-tune your ad!

Thank you for the observation: I believe it was Regular Guy who identified the "product development" concept and strategies. That is actually part of my base personality. I am used to coming up with a large number of concepts - standing them up - and getting them shot down until a preferred few comes up. By my very nature I am "thick skinned" as long as the discussion focuses on the technical pro''s and con''s of the idea, and suggested ways to improve or alternate ways of looking at it.

I also try different ideas as well beyond what other personality types will do. Some work, some don''t.

A few more items to answer some questions that people have asked.

Yes, I also read and responded to other ladies profiles. Probably about 1/2 of all eventual meetings came from where I initiated the contact.

I don''t drink beer. In fact, I do not drink alcohol at all - since childhood (except for 3 isolated experiments).

I do cook; but there are many different levels and expectations. I could do home made carmel and lemon meringue pie (from scratch) by age 16 (and lots of other things). Perhaps I should have become a pastry chef..


Finally, there is this:

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.... Does not tell half the story. We each have our own base personalities which shape how we see the world and act. There are those who cannot understand me and what I am doing - which is to be expected. On average about 1/16th of the population has a personality profile that is so opposite our own that we cannot comprehend much about the other person. Just because we do not understand....

We are also shaped by our past and where we came from. I''ve never much talked about that as it is not that important other than the fact that I succeeded to escape how I was raised where many people in similar circumstances don''t. There are still remnants of that background in me - and I have been working for decades to change (you folks would be amazed at the difference if you knew what I was like decades ago).

Every year I improve. Improving means that at times you have to stand up and submit yourself to criticism. To me, that is part of being a man (or a woman). That''s what takes guts...

Thanks again for those of you who have provided constructive comments.

Please limit any further comments to positive feedback. It is unfortunate that Ella had to get involved.


Have a great day,

Perry

 

[CasaBlanca]

It''s funny Perry,

Reading your last entry has this one "from Venus" more interested.

Your book is beginning to open, and you included lemon pie. For some Venus inhabitants, like myself, when I think lemon, I have a great mouth watering experience just thinking of them. I LOVE LEMONS. They make me pucker in anticipation. (just good tart lemon pucker!) You never know what your reader may like but words that express an experience or emotion or recollection of great times sure add dimension, depth and interest. Since 16...I am sure your pie is outta this world!

Like Havens child like romantic mud puddles...or others posted ideas...there just may be something that sparks a new angle for you. I hope it involves your pastry skills! Women love a good dessert.

PS...Add chocolate to your repertoire as soon as possible! If you are allergic to chocolate, for heavens sake, don''t print it, divulge or admit it. It is the nectar from the gods for those from Venus, we must have it to function.

Hope you feel better soon!

 

[FrekeChild]

Date: 2/24/2010 9:05:12 PM
Author: CasaBlanca
PS...Add chocolate to your repertoire as soon as possible! If you are allergic to chocolate, for heavens sake, don't print it, divulge or admit it. It is the nectar from the gods for those from Venus, we must have it to function.

I don't like chocolate. I'm female. I'm also a pastry chef.

Perry, if you were to post some simple bullet points about you as a person, I'd be happy to help you flesh that out.


And I believe the reason Ella got involved is because a member was calling the rest of us nitwits and threatening us with sticks.

 

[princesss]

Date: 2/24/2010 9:05:12 PM
Author: CasaBlanca
It''s funny Perry,

Reading your last entry has this one ''from Venus'' more interested.

Your book is beginning to open, and you included lemon pie. For some Venus inhabitants, like myself, when I think lemon, I have a great mouth watering experience just thinking of them. I LOVE LEMONS. They make me pucker in anticipation. (just good tart lemon pucker!) You never know what your reader may like but words that express an experience or emotion or recollection of great times sure add dimension, depth and interest. Since 16...I am sure your pie is outta this world!

Like Havens child like romantic mud puddles...or others posted ideas...there just may be something that sparks a new angle for you. I hope it involves your pastry skills! Women love a good dessert.

PS...Add chocolate to your repertoire as soon as possible! If you are allergic to chocolate, for heavens sake, don''t print it, divulge or admit it. It is the nectar from the gods for those from Venus, we must have it to function.

Hope you feel better soon!

While I agree that getting good sensory details in there can really help, I''m not sure Perry wants the lovely ladies reading his profile to think about sucking on a lemon when they read it! The object here is to NOT leave them with a sour taste in their mouths.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

lemons make me think of sour old ladies who like to scold and beat people with canes.

 

[Arkteia]

I have an idea: why doesn't Perry post his initial one, then another one adjusted according to TG's advices, another one changed according to someone else's advices...and sees whichever gets more answers. He can post as many as he wants, can he not? It is all about learning how to "win the hearts".

Another thing: I know a guy who writes excellent prose. If he posts a profile, women will be attracted to him like butterflies to lamplight. But he has a trait. A serious squint. He is also tongue-tied in real life. So any woman would pass him up IRL.

What I mean to say is that it still has to be close to reality. And it has to be Perry's because he can not take TG with him as a "date advisor".

Re. cats. I suspect this is not the main reason you did not like these women. If Angelina Jolie came to the first date carrying a cat, what would you say? I think it is the whole gamut: women with a "baggage", and a cat, and eating god knows what...

Mentioning tires and cats is a bad idea. Don't bother me with your tires, and with your cats... Independence involves so much, but being able to change a tire has nothing to do with it. If she is able to change a tire, to fix a running faucet and is happy with her cat...why need a man in her life?

Another funny ad: "Middle-aged man, honest, financially secure, looking for integrity, tenderness, understanding...and something to eat, please".

 

[whitby_2773]

Date: 2/25/2010 4:08:53 AM
Author: crasru

Re. cats. I suspect this is not the main reason you did not like these women. If Angelina Jolie came to the first date carrying a cat, what would you say? I think it is the whole gamut: women with a ''baggage'', and a cat, and eating god knows what...


Another funny ad: ''Middle-aged man, honest, financially secure, looking for integrity, tenderness, understanding...and something to eat, please''.

i''d say "you wore a vial of a man''s blood around your neck for years and a shirt with your husband-to-be''s name written on it in blood to your first wedding. you are a psycho."

and then i''d say...

"i''m sorry - did i say that out loud?"

(and then i''d run away)