An Interesting Meeting w/ the ex!

[Moh 10]

No biggie.
People break up and move on.
That new person is just another person.

It doesn''t mean anything.
Why get all freaked out?

Nobody really knows WHAT he was thinking.
Why bother reading into it this or that?

 

[monarch64]

Date: 7/22/2009 11:59:24 PM
Author: Moh 10
No biggie.
People break up and move on.
That new person is just another person.

It doesn''t mean anything.
Why get all freaked out?

Nobody really knows WHAT he was thinking.
Why bother reading into it this or that?

Ouch! Very harsh, MOH10! Even your edited reply is kind of a jagged pill. You make sense, but in the most black and white kind of way...

 

[Moh 10]

Sorry, don't mean to be mean or harsh.
I just don't understand all the drama.
Maybe cause I'm a guy.

When a person divorces, that's it.

You move on and heal.
The longer you dwell on that person or "your replacement" the longer you delay healing.

Again sorry, don't mean to be hurtful.
I guess I'm too left-brained for a right-brained thread.

But thanks for the feedback; I do come on strongly at times.

 

[monarch64]

Date: 7/23/2009 12:34:07 AM
Author: Moh 10
Sorry, don''t mean to be mean or harsh.
I just don''t understand all the drama.
Maybe cause I''m a guy.

When a person divorces, that''s it.

You move on and heal.
The longer you dwell on that person or ''your replacement'' the longer you delay healing.

Again sorry, don''t mean to be hurtful.
I guess I''m too left-brained for a right-brained thread.

But thanks for the feedback; I do come on strongly at times.

Oh, I totally agree...your post touched a nerve with me because I''m also going through a divorce and Joflier and I were of the few here who chose to divulge that info. I certainly understand the male mentality or left-brain thing, I''m a left-brainer myself but not a guy...I just want to say here that yes, sometimes we post topics that seem a little dramatic, but it mainly isn''t a misery-loves-company sort of thing. More like getting feedback from others who''ve had experience with the same issues. I''m threadjacking here and probably out of line in my response to your post, but again, we''re a supportive community and sometimes when a response is just very blunt it makes me sort of cringe.

 

[Moh 10]

I understand.

I went through a dramatic very dramatic tramatic divorce 10 years ago.
It took me two years to end the relationship.

My closest friend gave me this advice, "Get your stuff and just get out".
I hated her for it at the time but today I realize it was the most helpful thing anyone said to me at the time.

Tough love, with the best of intentions.

 

[monarch64]

Date: 7/23/2009 1:00:11 AM
Author: Moh 10
I understand.

I went through a dramatic very dramatic tramatic divorce 10 years ago.
It took me two years to end the relationship.

My closest friend gave me this advice, 'Get your stuff and just get out'.
I hated her for it at the time but today I realize it was the most helpful thing anyone said to me at the time.

Tough love, with the best of intentions.

Tough love is what it is. It definitely took someone making a comment to me that was very harsh for me to finally listen to reason and GTFO. She told me that it was time to stop playing the victim or choose to leave. I left, and have thanked her profusely for her candor. I definitely get where you're coming from, MOH10. No worries.

ETA: Joflier HAS already ended things, though, and in her defense I felt like I had to post a reply to you. Again, I was probably out of line posting a response to you here, so I apologize. Hug it out? LOL

 

[joflier]

Date: 7/22/2009 11:58:32 PM
Author: Moh 10
No biggie.
People break up and move on all the time.

That new person is just another person.
Why get all freaked out?

It doesn''t matter if she was beautiful or ugly, young old, rich poor; it has nothing to do with you.
She has nothing to do with you.

You, and nobody here, really knows what was going on in his mind when he introduced you.
Why invent or project some big drama that it means this or that.

The sun will come up tomorrow.

You are divorcing him.
That means it''s over.
Move on.

That''s a pretty strong statement for someone that does not know me at all! I know everyone has their own heartaches, and their own story to tell, and I respect that. But I really feel like your post was rather unkind.

I am not and have not ever been a dramatic person. I''m calm, rational, and chill 99.9% of the time.

Nor am I freaking out. I found the whole thing very amusing and intersting.

And I have moved on. As much as one can without the divorce even being finalized.

Please don''t make assumptions about me and who I am.

 

[Moh 10]

Sorry Joflier.
Nothing personal.
Frankly, I was also responding to much that was written in the thread.

Breaking up is very painful.
I've been through it and God forbid if I am ever in that place again I intent to move through it as quickly as possible.
I realize now that much of the suffering and agony I went through was the result of me kind of picking at my own emotional scab.
I'm not saying that is what you are doing but when I read about all the stuff people bring up in this thread it reminds me of that.
I really do have a good heart and good intentions but I'm too pointed at times.

But I do intend to moderate myself.
I am too direct.

Best wishes to you.

 

[joflier]

Date: 7/23/2009 9:55:00 AM
Author: Moh 10
Sorry Joflier.
Nothing personal.
Frankly, I was also responding to much that was written in the thread.

Breaking up is very painful.
I''ve been through it and God forbid if I am ever in that place again I intent to move through it as quickly as possible.
I realize now that much of the suffering and agony I went through was the result of me kind of picking at my own emotional scab.
I''m not saying that is what you are doing but when I read about all the stuff people bring up in this thread it reminds me of that.
I really do have a good heart and good intentions but I''m too pointed at times.

But I do intend to moderate myself.
I am too direct.

Best wishes to you.

Breaking up is hard to do......so go the lyrics.....
Everyone has their own story to tell, and I respect that, and I forget that those stories and the emotions that come along with them sometimes come out in ways that get lost in translation.
I appreciate the clarification. No hard feelings, friend.

 

[Moh 10]

Hugs.

Hey, LOVE your shoes!

 

[joflier]

Date: 7/23/2009 11:33:15 AM
Author: Moh 10
Hugs.

Hey, LOVE your shoes!

OMG!!!! Thank you! I hear their the latest craze and EVERYONE is wearing em!

 

[DiamondFlame]

Maybe he''s not handling it as well as he wanted to make it appear to you. But at least it was civil and polite. I got to know about my ex wife''s plan for divorce from the guy she cheated me with. How''s that for a kick in the teeth? Anyway, c''est la vie. She''s HIS problem now...

 

[joflier]

Date: 7/23/2009 1:04:42 PM
Author: DiamondFlame
Maybe he''s not handling it as well as he wanted to make it appear to you. But at least it was civil and polite. I got to know about my ex wife''s plan for divorce from the guy she cheated me with. How''s that for a kick in the teeth? Anyway, c''est la vie. She''s HIS problem now...

I''m sorry about that. That must have been awful!

And more like - he''s HER problem, now!

 

[Pandora II]

Hmm, me thinks that he is both showing ''you'' off to the new gf and is hoping that you will show that you still hold a bit of a torch for him.

I have an ex-bf who I am still friendly with, DH and I even stayed with him last time I was in Italy

. Anyway, after we split up he was always wanting me to come and meet his latest flame - apparently he felt that I was good for his image and they would like him more because he had dated me... and he wanted to show me that he had other women interested in him (I left him).

Another ex once told me that he only dated good-looking girls because it meant he could get gfs who were better looking than he was because they saw him with someone who was beautiful and would think he must have something because she was with him.

Very sad, but appears that plenty of men think this way!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 7/22/2009 2:41:17 PM
Author: joflier

Date: 7/22/2009 2:05:44 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 7/22/2009 2:02:10 PM
Author: joflier

Date: 7/22/2009 1:56:12 PM
Author: MonkeyPie
On one hand, that is sort of rude to his new GF. On the other hand, it''s good - it means he is content with the way things turned out and holds no ill will.

That''s what I thought. Unless she really wanted to meet me? Otherwise, I kind of figured he was trying to make me jealous. But I don''t really know. He''s a hard one to read sometimes.

were you?

is she good looking?

No I was not! And not to be super egotistical, cuz she looked ok, but certainly wasn''t drop dead gorgeous or anything. Fairly plain.

then you should of said...you can do better than that,can''t you?

 

[joflier]

Date: 7/23/2009 6:15:06 PM
Author: Pandora II
Hmm, me thinks that he is both showing ''you'' off to the new gf and is hoping that you will show that you still hold a bit of a torch for him.

I have an ex-bf who I am still friendly with, DH and I even stayed with him last time I was in Italy

. Anyway, after we split up he was always wanting me to come and meet his latest flame - apparently he felt that I was good for his image and they would like him more because he had dated me... and he wanted to show me that he had other women interested in him (I left him).

Another ex once told me that he only dated good-looking girls because it meant he could get gfs who were better looking than he was because they saw him with someone who was beautiful and would think he must have something because she was with him.

Very sad, but appears that plenty of men think this way!

Huh.....that''s a really interesting perspective. I think you might be right on, with this guy. Thanks for your post. That''s some good insight, I think.