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- Jul 12, 2008
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I'm definitely the messier one, and I'm lucky that my BF doesn't particularly mind straightening up. If he started leaving me little instructive notes... I'd be pretty annoyed. Passive aggression does not go a long way with me.iLander|1306599914|2932480 said:Oh, my.
If hubby did that to me, I would be ticked off. Pretty condescending. He's not my daddy and if I choose to leave the margarine out, that's my right as an adult in my own home.
We have a rule around here; whoever complains about it, has to fix it. Simple as that.
Saves a lot of petty arguing and we don't treat each other like children. We're both grown ups.
Granted, he's a pretty mature person, who takes responsibility for his actions, as am I.
I guess I just have an issue with women that seem to mother their husbands. I find it strange, and if I was the guy I'd be building up resentments all over the place. And then if my cute assistant started looking up to me and treating me like a "big, strong man", well . . .
Just my opinion, worth pretty much what you paid for it.Take it with a grain of salt, I'm on day 20 something of not smoking, so I'm testy . . .
Oh, and ditto what Vapid said; margarine is mostly fish emulsion, and not good for you. They think it causes more heart attacks than butter, because it tends to coagulate in the veins.
packrat|1306598409|2932458 said:Wouldn't work here. Would be funny tho. I drew JD a map to find his clothes hamper once. Mom put a sign on the lid of dad's hamper that said "Broken-do not use" and dad lifted the lid up and was like "Well, what's wrong with it?" and mom said "Nothing now, you fixed it, so USE IT" Didn't work either.
VapidLapid|1306595283|2932424 said:There will never be margarine in my refrigerator. I do, however, like some order in there with the butter and cheese.
iLander|1306599914|2932480 said:Oh, my.
If hubby did that to me, I would be ticked off. Pretty condescending. He's not my daddy and if I choose to leave the margarine out, that's my right as an adult in my own home.
We have a rule around here; whoever complains about it, has to fix it. Simple as that.
Saves a lot of petty arguing and we don't treat each other like children. We're both grown ups.
Granted, he's a pretty mature person, who takes responsibility for his actions, as am I.
I guess I just have an issue with women that seem to mother their husbands. I find it strange, and if I was the guy I'd be building up resentments all over the place. And then if my cute assistant started looking up to me and treating me like a "big, strong man", well . . .
Just my opinion, worth pretty much what you paid for it.Take it with a grain of salt, I'm on day 20 something of not smoking, so I'm testy . . .
Oh, and ditto what Vapid said; margarine is mostly fish emulsion, and not good for you. They think it causes more heart attacks than butter, because it tends to coagulate in the veins.
Autumnovember|1306709488|2933314 said:Haa! I should probably take some sort of advice for myself from that sticky note![]()
Good thing FI can deal with my sometimes messy self.
HollyS|1306615645|2932641 said:Not only does DH put stuff into the refrig willy-nilly, he can't remember where he pulled it from. So he can't return it to the same place, either.
As a bachelor, he was just this side of being the subject of "Hoarders: Buried Alive" on A&E.
I kid you not.
lbbaber|1306713724|2933357 said:I've done the post-it route NUMEROUS times! I think the photo is GREAT! I am completely OCD when it comes to cleaning and he is a SLOB! We used to argue about this all the time, ironically its THE ONLY thing we have EVER argued about---his messiness and my uptightness. I like things to be PERFECT. He just doesnt care how the inside of the house looks (the outside he is great about).
I finally realized that he is who he is and I cant change him anymore than he can change me....so, my solution? ---I pay myself for being his maid. When he has a particularly bad week....I go shopping with his debit card--FOR ME AND ONLY MESometimes I get SO angry when I am cleaning up after him (my 6yr old is better at picking up his things than he is!) but then I imagine what beautiful item I will buy (shoes, sunglasses, clothes, jewelry, electronics---you name it, I've bought it on my "maid salary") and it makes it all fun!!!
Thanks for sharing the pic. It made me, literally, LOL![]()
And to add: he likes this solution too!! It's a win-win for us![]()
lbbaber|1306713724|2933357 said:I've done the post-it route NUMEROUS times! I think the photo is GREAT! I am completely OCD when it comes to cleaning and he is a SLOB! We used to argue about this all the time, ironically its THE ONLY thing we have EVER argued about---his messiness and my uptightness. I like things to be PERFECT. He just doesnt care how the inside of the house looks (the outside he is great about).
I finally realized that he is who he is and I cant change him anymore than he can change me....so, my solution? ---I pay myself for being his maid. When he has a particularly bad week....I go shopping with his debit card--FOR ME AND ONLY MESometimes I get SO angry when I am cleaning up after him (my 6yr old is better at picking up his things than he is!) but then I imagine what beautiful item I will buy (shoes, sunglasses, clothes, jewelry, electronics---you name it, I've bought it on my "maid salary") and it makes it all fun!!!
Thanks for sharing the pic. It made me, literally, LOL![]()
And to add: he likes this solution too!! It's a win-win for us![]()
davi_el_mejor|1306752534|2933577 said:Like women are immune from this horrible disease of not putting things away.![]()
ksinger|1306765011|2933649 said:davi_el_mejor|1306752534|2933577 said:Like women are immune from this horrible disease of not putting things away.![]()
I hear the same story from other women over and over and over. It has spawned a zillion jokes, and we all have the SAME litany with only minor variations. Sorry, this is one stereotype that is deeply rooted in reality.
The difference is that in general a messy house bothers women more, and women generally SEE - sometime within say, a DECADE? - that they didn't put something away and...PUT IT AWAY, and not just for themselves but for other people. I had a spotless house before we married. He had one that you could walk through literal DRIFTS of dog hair piled up outside the main walk paths. His STOVE had dog hair on it, I am appalled to say. And it looked like his toilet...well, we won't discuss it. I knew what I was getting and that I'd have to make some adjustments, but then so has he. Samie Homemaker he ain't., but I won't tolerate living like that.
He groused one time early on about his perception that I wasn't doing enough cleaning (aka - loading/unloading dishwasher) in the kitchen (which pretty much sent me ballistic I might add), and I pointed out rather forcefully that he does not dust, sweep, vacuum, clean toilets, make beds, deep clean the counters or stove or degrease vent hood or kitchen light fixtures , scour sinks, or any of those other fun thankless things. He load/unloads dishes, and does laundry and that's pretty much it. So I LET him do the things that aren't a major screaming match to get him to do - like "cleaning" the kitchen. I have limited energy and time, so I put it to where the house will see the most bang for my energy buck, and that would be NOT wasting my time doing something that HE WILL do. I told him, "You see the kitchen and it bothers you, but you know what? I see it ALL, and it ALL bothers ME, but I have just had to let some things slide because there aren't enough hours in a day to clean to MY standard. So SHUT UP!"
I'm sure there are quite a few other women here who have done a similar calculus....yes girls?
I
davi_el_mejor|1306768125|2933678 said:ksinger|1306765011|2933649 said:davi_el_mejor|1306752534|2933577 said:Like women are immune from this horrible disease of not putting things away.![]()
I hear the same story from other women over and over and over. It has spawned a zillion jokes, and we all have the SAME litany with only minor variations. Sorry, this is one stereotype that is deeply rooted in reality.
The difference is that in general a messy house bothers women more, and women generally SEE - sometime within say, a DECADE? - that they didn't put something away and...PUT IT AWAY, and not just for themselves but for other people. I had a spotless house before we married. He had one that you could walk through literal DRIFTS of dog hair piled up outside the main walk paths. His STOVE had dog hair on it, I am appalled to say. And it looked like his toilet...well, we won't discuss it. I knew what I was getting and that I'd have to make some adjustments, but then so has he. Samie Homemaker he ain't., but I won't tolerate living like that.
He groused one time early on about his perception that I wasn't doing enough cleaning (aka - loading/unloading dishwasher) in the kitchen (which pretty much sent me ballistic I might add), and I pointed out rather forcefully that he does not dust, sweep, vacuum, clean toilets, make beds, deep clean the counters or stove or degrease vent hood or kitchen light fixtures , scour sinks, or any of those other fun thankless things. He load/unloads dishes, and does laundry and that's pretty much it. So I LET him do the things that aren't a major screaming match to get him to do - like "cleaning" the kitchen. I have limited energy and time, so I put it to where the house will see the most bang for my energy buck, and that would be NOT wasting my time doing something that HE WILL do. I told him, "You see the kitchen and it bothers you, but you know what? I see it ALL, and it ALL bothers ME, but I have just had to let some things slide because there aren't enough hours in a day to clean to MY standard. So SHUT UP!"
I'm sure there are quite a few other women here who have done a similar calculus....yes girls?
I
Again I say![]()
In general, overt sexism is still overt sexism. no matter what shoe it's on.
davi_el_mejor|1306772096|2933746 said:I am doing no such thing... sweet jeebuz. Had this been titled "An idea, if you live with a woman" the stinky brown stuff would have hit the fan. It would have been up for like 3 minutes, and then removed, after the droves of "report concerns."
And with that, I'm done. Have a nice Memorial Day.
lbbaber|1306773981|2933767 said:davi_el_mejor|1306772096|2933746 said:I am doing no such thing... sweet jeebuz. Had this been titled "An idea, if you live with a woman" the stinky brown stuff would have hit the fan. It would have been up for like 3 minutes, and then removed, after the droves of "report concerns."
And with that, I'm done. Have a nice Memorial Day.
It goes both ways around here.....
When Kenny posted his "Do most women think they look heavier" thread a few weeks back the women that complained were told to deal with it. And to be honest, only a few said anything. Most of us just answered the question.
And Dancing Fire followed it with "Do most women think they look younger".
From what I have seen, I think the women around here get MORE flack in the titles of the threads then the men...which is ironic bc there are far less men posting on these boards then there are women (except in RT). This thread was about a funny joke between a couple. I am not quite sure why it is causing greif and negativity. The man who got the note found it amusing!
K Singer, I laughed reading your comments bc it reminds me of my cleaning battles. And your description of your DH's place during his bachelor days could have been my DH EXACTLY!
swingirl|1306708948|2933305 said:Vegetables in the vegetable bin. Cheese in the cheese drawer---everything else, in any spot it will fit. It's not like anything can get "lost". There's only about 4-5 sq feet of space to use anyway.