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An idea, if you live with a guy...

Discussion in 'Hangout' started by kama_s, May 28, 2011.

  1. kama_s
    Ideal_Rock

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    by kama_s » May 28, 2011
    who likes to deposit things anywhere and everywhere.

    fridgepicturepostie.jpg
     
  2. VapidLapid
    Ideal_Rock

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    by VapidLapid » May 28, 2011
    There will never be margarine in my refrigerator. I do, however, like some order in there with the butter and cheese.
     
  3. Jennifer W
    Brilliant_Rock
    Trade

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    by Jennifer W » May 28, 2011
    Ha! I'd be doing well to put it back in the fridge, never mind exactly the right bit of shelf inside the fridge. I'd be on rather shaky ground with notes like this... :mrgreen:
     
  4. packrat
    Super_Ideal_Rock

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    by packrat » May 28, 2011
    Wouldn't work here. Would be funny tho. I drew JD a map to find his clothes hamper once. Mom put a sign on the lid of dad's hamper that said "Broken-do not use" and dad lifted the lid up and was like "Well, what's wrong with it?" and mom said "Nothing now, you fixed it, so USE IT" Didn't work either.
     
  5. iLander
    Ideal_Rock

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    by iLander » May 28, 2011
    Oh, my.

    If hubby did that to me, I would be ticked off. Pretty condescending. He's not my daddy and if I choose to leave the margarine out, that's my right as an adult in my own home.

    We have a rule around here; whoever complains about it, has to fix it. Simple as that.

    Saves a lot of petty arguing and we don't treat each other like children. We're both grown ups.

    Granted, he's a pretty mature person, who takes responsibility for his actions, as am I.

    I guess I just have an issue with women that seem to mother their husbands. I find it strange, and if I was the guy I'd be building up resentments all over the place. And then if my cute assistant started looking up to me and treating me like a "big, strong man", well . . .

    Just my opinion, worth pretty much what you paid for it. :mrgreen: Take it with a grain of salt, I'm on day 20 something of not smoking, so I'm testy . . .

    Oh, and ditto what Vapid said; margarine is mostly fish emulsion, and not good for you. They think it causes more heart attacks than butter, because it tends to coagulate in the veins.
     
  6. Miss Sparkly
    Brilliant_Rock

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    by Miss Sparkly » May 28, 2011
    It doesn't work for food, but DH would leave his clothes, video games, etc laying around. I told him that If I had to pick it up, then I'm hiding it somewhere and not giving it back until he picks up. After a week of his things going missing he started to put his stuff away.
     
  7. HollyS
    Ideal_Rock

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    by HollyS » May 28, 2011
    Not only does DH put stuff into the refrig willy-nilly, he can't remember where he pulled it from. So he can't return it to the same place, either.

    As a bachelor, he was just this side of being the subject of "Hoarders: Buried Alive" on A&E.

    I kid you not.
     
  8. KaeKae
    Brilliant_Rock

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    by KaeKae » May 29, 2011
    You can't change a man, but you can change the way you deal with him.

    My DH of 21 years still finds his things 'put away' for him, in the strangest places...mostly places that won't bug me, like the garage. He's bad about leaving shoes where ever he takes them off. I have just opened the garage door and tossed them in, on the side he parks. If he runs them over, his problem. Better than me getting hurt by tripping on them. He rarely leaves other clothes anywhere but the bedrrom. If he leaves clothes on the floor, I will not pick them up, but I will kick them into is closet and close the door. If he trips, his problem. If he wants them clean, he'll have to put them in the hamper. I do not wash anything not found in the hamper.

    He's okay with the fridge, but tends to leave open bags of chips out. I hate that, and often will just throw them out. If he complains? They were left open and went stale. Use a clip and put them back in the cabinet, it's not that hard to do, really!
     
  9. swingirl
    Ideal_Rock

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    by swingirl » May 29, 2011
    Vegetables in the vegetable bin. Cheese in the cheese drawer---everything else, in any spot it will fit. It's not like anything can get "lost". There's only about 4-5 sq feet of space to use anyway.
     
  10. suchende
    Brilliant_Rock

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    by suchende » May 29, 2011
    I'm definitely the messier one, and I'm lucky that my BF doesn't particularly mind straightening up. If he started leaving me little instructive notes... I'd be pretty annoyed. Passive aggression does not go a long way with me.
     
  11. Autumnovember
    Ideal_Rock

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    by Autumnovember » May 29, 2011
    Haa! I should probably take some sort of advice for myself from that sticky note :mrgreen:

    Good thing FI can deal with my sometimes messy self.
     
  12. kama_s
    Ideal_Rock

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    by kama_s » May 29, 2011
    It's a little bizarre that women found this insulting. My husband shared it with his guy friends, and they all found it rather hilarious. I wasn't even present when he shared it. What gives? It's rather telling that the women who found it offensive were the ones to engage in such acts - defensive behaviour, I suppose. Eh.

    Anyways, my husband is notorious for putting things anywhere and everywhere when it comes to things around the house (he is ridiculously meticulous when it comes to his things, like finances, work, his business etc), meanwhile I have a strong preferance for having a fixed spot for every thing. Drives me nuts when I have to spend 30 minutes trying to find something that has been misplaced. It was ok in our smaller condo, but in our current 5 bedroom house, it was beginning to become a gym routine for me!

    I explained where things go in the kitchen to hubby several times. I was massively stressed the week before writing the GMAT, but instead of being upset, I left a postie for hubby. He saw the note the next morning and cracked up. Surprisingly, he has been putting everything in the right spot since the incident. So I got a laugh (actually, several) and we sorted an issue between us amicably and without a tiff.
     
  13. kama_s
    Ideal_Rock

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    by kama_s » May 29, 2011
    Ha! That's hilarious!
     
  14. kama_s
    Ideal_Rock

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    by kama_s » May 29, 2011
    I'm not a fan of margarine either. Hubby likes it. See that massive box of butter? Yeah, that's all me!
     
  15. kama_s
    Ideal_Rock

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    by kama_s » May 29, 2011

    Yeesh, too much drama in your post. I suppose it's your right to leave margarine out, but it is also highly wasteful and rather ridiculous to do so just to prove a (rather inane) point. I'm sorry to say I didn't get through to the end of your post.
     
  16. kama_s
    Ideal_Rock

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    by kama_s » May 29, 2011
    Oh, I am definitely messy! I think I'm probably messier than hubby. I may have spots to put things, but I don't necessarily always put things away! I just don't get it when hubby puts things away, but in the wrong spot! Which means I have to put it in the right spot, so we both had to exert effort when it could have been done with half as much. Highly inefficient, ha!
     
  17. kama_s
    Ideal_Rock

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    by kama_s » May 29, 2011
    Sounds like my hubby. When we first moved in together, hubby had some 20+ boxes filled with random wires, adapters, circuit boards and other geeky stuff. Living together for the last 5 years, and thankfully the number is down to 4 or so boxes. The first year we lived together (unmarried), hubby almost bought out a dying robotics company. I had to talk him out of it because we has ZERO storage space - we didn't have room for an extra piece of luggage, forget an entire company worth of robotic software!
     
  18. lbbaber
    Brilliant_Rock

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    by lbbaber » May 29, 2011
    I've done the post-it route NUMEROUS times! I think the photo is GREAT! I am completely OCD when it comes to cleaning and he is a SLOB! We used to argue about this all the time, ironically its THE ONLY thing we have EVER argued about---his messiness and my uptightness. I like things to be PERFECT. He just doesnt care how the inside of the house looks (the outside he is great about).

    I finally realized that he is who he is and I cant change him anymore than he can change me....so, my solution? ---I pay myself for being his maid. When he has a particularly bad week....I go shopping with his debit card--FOR ME AND ONLY ME :naughty: Sometimes I get SO angry when I am cleaning up after him (my 6yr old is better at picking up his things than he is!) but then I imagine what beautiful item I will buy (shoes, sunglasses, clothes, jewelry, electronics---you name it, I've bought it on my "maid salary") and it makes it all fun!!!

    Thanks for sharing the pic. It made me, literally, LOL :lol:

    And to add: he likes this solution too!! It's a win-win for us :D
     
  19. kama_s
    Ideal_Rock

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    by kama_s » May 29, 2011
    lbbaber, thanks for sharing your quirky 'deal'! If I weren't messy myself, I'd love to have incorporated it in our household!

    Also, thank you for recognizing this picture for what it was - a light, albeit possibly slightly satirical, attempt at humour. And a little peek into how other couples make their relationship work.
     
  20. yssie
    Super_Ideal_Rock

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    by yssie » May 29, 2011

    :appl: this is an excellent idea!

    My DH has this awful habit of balling his socks up when he tosses them into the laundry - and since I usually do the laundry I get the fun chore of untying dirty sock balls. I tried not bothering but they didn't dry properly and he just put them away half damp, which bothered me far more than it bothered him :roll:

    I see lots of goodies in my future!
     
  21. ksinger
    Ideal_Rock

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    by ksinger » May 29, 2011
    The note thing would never work. Dead calm and deadly serious ultimatums do however. I will explain.

    First, as an aside, yes, stuff ends up wherever his hand finds a spot. Drives me nuts, and some of it I have just learned to deal with as the price of having him. However, a real kicker was when he decided to start closing the bathroom door. After EVERY SINGLE TRIP. Long job? Shut the door. Short job? Shut the door. Go in to brush teeth, wash hands, comb hair? Shut the door. Had he ever done this before? No. A completely random new "habit", out of the blue.

    Of course I notice it first when I get up at 2:00 am for a bathroom trip, and BAM! run into the door in the dark. Next day I'm like, "Hon, please don't shut the bathroom door like that, I ran into it last night." Next night BAM! same thing. So every night or whenever the hallway is dark I'm with a hand out should the door be closed. Finally, it happened one too many, and I said, "Why did you start closing the door all the time??" Him, kinda of defensive, "I don't know." "Well, STOP IT. I run into it. I don't care if the fumes of HELL are coming out of there, I want that door open, and if you keep shutting it I'm giving you fair warning right now that we are going to have rip-snorting peace-destroying fight. Your call"

    He stopped. (We don't like fighting)
     
  22. davi_el_mejor
    Brilliant_Rock

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    by davi_el_mejor » May 30, 2011
    Like women are immune from this horrible disease of not putting things away. :roll:
     
  23. ksinger
    Ideal_Rock

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    by ksinger » May 30, 2011
    I hear the same story from other women over and over and over. It has spawned a zillion jokes, and we all have the SAME litany with only minor variations. Sorry, this is one stereotype that is deeply rooted in reality.

    The difference is that in general a messy house bothers women more, and women generally SEE - sometime within say, a DECADE? - that they didn't put something away and...PUT IT AWAY, and not just for themselves but for other people. I had a spotless house before we married. He had one that you could walk through literal DRIFTS of dog hair piled up outside the main walk paths. His STOVE had dog hair on it, I am appalled to say. And it looked like his toilet...well, we won't discuss it. I knew what I was getting and that I'd have to make some adjustments, but then so has he. Samie Homemaker he ain't., but I won't tolerate living like that.


    He groused one time early on about his perception that I wasn't doing enough cleaning (aka - loading/unloading dishwasher) in the kitchen (which pretty much sent me ballistic I might add), and I pointed out rather forcefully that he does not dust, sweep, vacuum, clean toilets, make beds, deep clean the counters or stove or degrease vent hood or kitchen light fixtures , scour sinks, or any of those other fun thankless things. He load/unloads dishes, and does laundry and that's pretty much it. So I LET him do the things that aren't a major screaming match to get him to do - like "cleaning" the kitchen. I have limited energy and time, so I put it to where the house will see the most bang for my energy buck, and that would be NOT wasting my time doing something that HE WILL do. I told him, "You see the kitchen and it bothers you, but you know what? I see it ALL, and it ALL bothers ME, but I have just had to let some things slide because there aren't enough hours in a day to clean to MY standard. So SHUT UP!"

    I'm sure there are quite a few other women here who have done a similar calculus....yes girls?

    I
     
  24. davi_el_mejor
    Brilliant_Rock

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    by davi_el_mejor » May 30, 2011
    Again I say :roll:

    In general, overt sexism is still overt sexism. no matter what shoe it's on.
     
  25. ksinger
    Ideal_Rock

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    by ksinger » May 30, 2011
    Yes, if you want to make men and women neuter and with no differences whatsover, that's not sexism, although it IS quite silly.
     
  26. davi_el_mejor
    Brilliant_Rock

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    by davi_el_mejor » May 30, 2011
    I am doing no such thing... sweet jeebuz. Had this been titled "An idea, if you live with a woman" the stinky brown stuff would have hit the fan. It would have been up for like 3 minutes, and then removed, after the droves of "report concerns."

    And with that, I'm done. Have a nice Memorial Day.
     
  27. lbbaber
    Brilliant_Rock

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    by lbbaber » May 30, 2011
    It goes both ways around here.....

    When Kenny posted his "Do most women think they look heavier" thread a few weeks back the women that complained were told to deal with it. And to be honest, only a few said anything. Most of us just answered the question.

    And Dancing Fire followed it with "Do most women think they look younger".

    From what I have seen, I think the women around here get MORE flack in the titles of the threads then the men...which is ironic bc there are far less men posting on these boards then there are women (except in RT). This thread was about a funny joke between a couple. I am not quite sure why it is causing greif and negativity. The man who got the note found it amusing!


    K Singer, I laughed reading your comments bc it reminds me of my cleaning battles. And your description of your DH's place during his bachelor days could have been my DH EXACTLY!
     
  28. ksinger
    Ideal_Rock

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    by ksinger » May 30, 2011
    Well, PS IS quite prissy these days, as a rule. I juxtapose the tenor of this place with the tales from my husband's favorite forums - where the vast majority of posters are males, and sailors at that. The standard response/board greeting to ANY newbie is "HTFU* and show us your tits - or your girlfriend's/wife's tits." And that's the NICE stuff. Needless to say, any women who post there regularly (and there are a few) are 1)not going to change this behavior, and 2)are able to deal with it without getting offended and crying foul every 2 seconds - probably because they are sailors who hang with sailors. I guess pointing out that that place populated by mostly men is far more direct and dare I say it, crude, while at the same time being remarkably serious-conflict-free would also be considered "sexist". :roll:


    *HTFU - harden the eff up, for those who are wondering.
     
  29. canuk-gal
    Super_Ideal_Rock

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    by canuk-gal » May 30, 2011
    HI:

    It just goes to show that you can lead a man to the fridge, but you can't make him put back the margarine.

    cheers--Sharon
     
  30. maplefemme
    Brilliant_Rock

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    by maplefemme » May 30, 2011
    This made me laugh, to me, it's really what it boils down to :lol:
    Now if I borrow his tools however, I put them back where I got them, I know it would irk him if I didn't. But if I found a note in the fridge it better be a love note I tell you!
     

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