shape
carat
color
clarity

Advice needed on a few precious gemstones I'm currently considering....

W

westofhere

Guest
My impression is that it started with the engagement ring but has evolved into a gem buying and jewelry making hobby. I think Matt knows that no woman is going to want a readymade collection of dozens of inexpensive pieces and that women would run like h*ll from such. A booth at a flea market or an Etsy shop would be a good solution for what to do with all this stuff and could even pay for metalsmithing classes if he wants to take his hobby to the next level.
 

maru8888777

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 1, 2020
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153
I second the recommendation to follow Desert Rose on instagram. Her prices are very good and it's fun to look at what she posts.
 

pokerface

Brilliant_Rock
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Messages
555
"It started with the engagement ring." Yeah, it started with an engagement ring, upgraded twice in as many months, without an engagement or even a significant other. I see no indication that OP has any clue how cringe-worthy this all is. Even taking away the part where there's no girlfriend, I find the frantic buying and upgrading to be worrisome. I recognize that this is a gem site, not a relationship or advice column, so I think I'm done here. But I do stand by my original reaction: Yikes.
 

Ionysis

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 1, 2015
Messages
1,000
I think it’s rather sweet. And very thoughtful.

Although I do kind of have this image in my mind of the girls who buy their wedding dress and baby clothes before they’ve even had a date and hide them under the bed. You know, the ones guys run from, very, very fast.
 

lovedogs

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
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Messages
14,298
My impression is that it started with the engagement ring but has evolved into a gem buying and jewelry making hobby. I think Matt knows that no woman is going to want a readymade collection of dozens of inexpensive pieces and that women would run like h*ll from such. A booth at a flea market or an Etsy shop would be a good solution for what to do with all this stuff and could even pay for metalsmithing classes if he wants to take his hobby to the next level.

This is my impression as well. I offered similar concerns in an earlier thread, but the OP noted this is now a hobby rather than about him buying tons of jewelry for a future SO.
 

glitterata

Ideal_Rock
Joined
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Messages
3,901
I assume the OP loves gems and jewelry like the rest of us here, but is limited in his ability to wear them because he lives in a community where that's not considered appropriate for (straight) men. I don't think this is about imposing his taste on some future bride. I think it's about enjoying sparkly things. Which is something all PSers should be able to understand. (I could be wrong, of course--I'm often wrong about all sorts of things.)
 
W

westofhere

Guest
If that’s the case then I hope he tells convention to go to heck and wears all his jewelry. We all should get to express our gender identities however we see fit.

Many quick upgrades may be odd, but it seems logical that if the ring was nonrefundable, he wouldn’t want to keep the same stone his fiancé had worn for however long the engagement was.

I assume the OP loves gems and jewelry like the rest of us here, but is limited in his ability to wear them because he lives in a community where that's not considered appropriate for (straight) men. I don't think this is about imposing his taste on some future bride. I think it's about enjoying sparkly things. Which is something all PSers should be able to understand. (I could be wrong, of course--I'm often wrong about all sorts of things.)
 

pokerface

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
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Messages
555
@westofhere There was never a fiancé and there was no engagement, girlfriend, partner, or relationship. That's my point. It's one thing to enjoy shiny things. We all do here! It's another thing entirely to spend $15,000-20,000 on not just a ring, but an engagement ring, when there's no fiancé.
 
W

westofhere

Guest
OH. A fantasy of having a partner expressed through accumulating a sort of fantasy dowry! That is unusual. Lots of people spend money on fantasies, though, so unless it’s being done in the hopes of “winning over” a real woman who isn’t interested, perhaps harmless? There are men who spend thousands on pornography or prostitutes for the fleeting fantasy of being desired but know it’s not real.

I do know two trans women who accumulated jewelry before they transitioned/came out. It was an easily hideable way (because jewelry takes up so little space) of being who they are. I suppose on an online forum we never know for sure what’s up.
 

Rfisher

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 19, 2013
Messages
3,971
The fact that these concerns are repeated in multiple threads is telling.


ABFBAF67-CDFB-46BA-8F92-5D14C045189D.jpeg

OP has been very transparent, graphic, and clear on his reasons.
 
Last edited:

musicloveranthony

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 1, 2014
Messages
649
I have a lot of stones that I've bought because the price was good. Honestly, a lot of them suck. I'm very particular about a good cut, so it isn't that they're poorly cut. I just bought them for no particular reason (like you're doing). I can always convince myself they're for some hypothetical project for some hypothetical whatever or whoever. Truthfully, I'll probably never use them. I've got a few thousand dollars worth of stones that just sit in a box and probably always will.

I'd have been much happier saving all the money I spent on "good deals" and using it to buy something for an actual project that I had actual intention to create for an actual person (myself or someone else) for an actual reason.

I will hold off any judgment because I think you mean well (and I'll believe that until I see otherwise) and are excited about a new hobby. Just don't let that blind you and influence poor financial and personal decisions.
 

lovedogs

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Messages
14,298
I have a lot of stones that I've bought because the price was good. Honestly, a lot of them suck. I'm very particular about a good cut, so it isn't that they're poorly cut. I just bought them for no particular reason (like you're doing). I can always convince myself they're for some hypothetical project for some hypothetical whatever or whoever. Truthfully, I'll probably never use them. I've got a few thousand dollars worth of stones that just sit in a box and probably always will.

I'd have been much happier saving all the money I spent on "good deals" and using it to buy something for an actual project that I had actual intention to create for an actual person (myself or someone else) for an actual reason.


I will hold off any judgment because I think you mean well (and I'll believe that until I see otherwise) and are excited about a new hobby. Just don't let that blind you and influence poor financial and personal decisions.

The bold is exactly what I warned OP about on a previous thread. I have way too many loose stones that I thought were "almost what I wanted". Of course, I never set them so now they sit in a drawer. Total waste of $$ that I could have saved for what I really wanted
 

musicloveranthony

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
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Messages
649
The bold is exactly what I warned OP about on a previous thread. I have way too many loose stones that I thought were "almost what I wanted". Of course, I never set them so now they sit in a drawer. Total waste of $$ that I could have saved for what I really wanted

100% I genuinely regret almost every loose stone (with no purpose) purchase that I've made.
 

JackTrick

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 23, 2019
Messages
455
The bold is exactly what I warned OP about on a previous thread. I have way too many loose stones that I thought were "almost what I wanted". Of course, I never set them so now they sit in a drawer. Total waste of $$ that I could have saved for what I really wanted

Same. I start to think that might just be part of most people's journey into gemstones. A big box of educational regrets :razz:
 
W

westofhere

Guest
Curious about something: How does one prove to an insurance company that a ring was stolen? How does an insurance company not know that the owner doesn’t still have it, or gave it away to a one night stand, and is simply collecting the money?
 
W

westofhere

Guest
The fact that these concerns are repeated in multiple threads is telling.


ABFBAF67-CDFB-46BA-8F92-5D14C045189D.jpeg

OP has been very transparent, graphic, and clear on his reasons.

I think “hand models” need to go in this meme!
 

GemmaBella

Rough_Rock
Joined
Sep 19, 2019
Messages
85
Saying he should have a fiance first in order to buy a diamond ring is just as bad as saying a woman needs a man first to buy her a diamond engagement style ring. If he enjoys collecting gems and buying jewelry that's his prerogative. Did he come here asking for romantic advice or gem advice?
 

musicloveranthony

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 1, 2014
Messages
649
Saying he should have a fiance first in order to buy a diamond ring is just as bad as saying a woman needs a man first to buy her a diamond engagement style ring. If he enjoys collecting gems and buying jewelry that's his prerogative. Did he come here asking for romantic advice or gem advice?

Agreed. I'm here to judge gemstones, not people :P2
 

RunningwithScissors

Ideal_Rock
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Apr 29, 2019
Messages
2,364
I would like to see @matt_k be treated with more respect.

We all have different things we enjoy doing and different things we value.

Seeing him shamed for something he enjoys doing (which happens to be the same thing we enjoy doing -- buying sparklies) is really ugly.

Why pass judgement on someone you don't know for simply doing what makes them happy?

Matt has been told on this forum many times that most women have jewelry preferences so that it may not be wise (from a relationship standpoint) to select jewelry in advance for a future girlfriend. He understands that point. But he likes to buy jewelry and gems anyway. So let's move past the relationship advice and judgy Mcjudgement and help answer his gemstone questions.

I personally like having a variety of people on PS, so I think Matt adds to our community. Please treat him with respect so that he will stay and participate. I enjoy seeing his projects.

What is that bible verse, (says me the athiest) "He that is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." Do you all act with 100% logic all the time when it comes to buying sparklies?

Also, my grandmother used to say "there is a lid for every pot," meaning that for each of us there is someone out there who fits us almost perfectly. Who are we to say there isn't a woman who would be pleased to receive Matt's jewelry?
 

lovedogs

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
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Messages
14,298
I apologize, Matt, for being judgmental. I mostly just wanted to make sure you knew the potential downsides of planning expensive purchases for a future GF given that everyone's tastes are different. I know if my DH gave me stuff he bought before he met me it would have rubbed me the wrong way becuase it woudln't have felt personalized. But obviously if this is a hobby--more power to you! And I should have been more sensitive to the fact that it may have started as buying stuff for a future GF and *Evolved* into a hobby. Basically I was being s*itty and I'm sorry.
 

Cerulean

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
3,395
Hope you still come back, @matt_k!

I think personal advice aside...

I think the tips on buying gemstones have been great. Many of us have graveyards full of mediocre gems that will languish, unset. I don't have too many, but having any at all was wasted money. It's tempting to buy because it's a "good deal"–but every one of those purchases will take you further from something truly special. I have about $1,500 in gemstone purchases I wish I hadn't made. That's a good chunk of change!

If you are buying to tick a box, just go in with eyes wide open! Many of us like the best of the best, no matter the budget.

Good luck on your hunt, and have fun!
 

glitterata

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 17, 2002
Messages
3,901
On the topic of spending money on "practice" gemstones, my experience is different from what many of you have described on this thread. I started out buying small, cheap versions of gemstones I found interesting, so I could get to know their characteristics. That allowed me to understand what I like and dislike. Sometimes I went on to buy better versions. Sometimes I didn't, or haven't yet. Sometimes I bought nice stones I didn't have any immediate plans for, and I didn't set them for years or even decades. Some of my favorite pieces are made with stones I bought years and years before I decided to set them. I enjoy wearing my jewelry, and I enjoy looking at my unset stones. I don't love them all equally, but I do enjoy being able to pull out, say, a greenish yellow chrysoberyl, a greenish heliodore, a greenish yellow garnet, and a faceted greenish yellow sillimanite, line them up, and see similar they look in some ways, but how differently they interact with light. I like to inspect my stones with a loupe or microscope and look at their inclusions and growth bands. I enjoy living on a planet made of such a variety of amazing materials, and I feel very happy and lucky to have some of them available to me to enjoy--including the ones I don't find particularly pretty and don't plan ever to set. (Though I AM glad I mostly didn't spend very much money on those.)
 

Slick1

Ideal_Rock
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Jan 3, 2013
Messages
3,528
I personally would be touched if my SO gifted me pieces that he excitedly researched, sourced and then put together. Even if not to my taste, I’m sure I would find occasions to wear them because they would warm my heart. Or his mom could be the lucky recipient! Boy, would that be awesome if my son had this hobby :lol:
@matt_k Have fun with it! That’s what we do too! :)
 
W

westofhere

Guest
Perhaps Matt will find his true love, or at least his next married woman, on this very forum!
 

matt_k

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 1, 2020
Messages
356
This is one of the most disconcerting threads I've seen on PS. Let me get this straight: you

1) bought a 1.64ct K Si1 diamond in February 2020;
2) upgraded to a 1.65 carat I VS1 in March 2020 (set into an engagement ring);
3) upgraded a second time to a 2.02 carat J VS2 in April 2020 (reset into an engagement ring);
4) bought 1.29 tcw K SI1/VS2 earrings in March 2020;
5) upgraded those to 1.40 tcw K VS2 in May 2020; and now, you are onto
6) buying sapphires, rubies and emeralds

all to give to a FUTURE, HYPOTHETICAL girlfriend? Yikes, giant yikes. Look, if you like diamonds and gems and jewelry and this is all for your own enjoyment, that's fine, thought I would still be concerned about the number of upgrades in quick succession. To be under the delusion that some unknown person is going to appreciate the (expensive) items you've chosen to suit your own tastes is off-putting to the max. It's not "hard to lose" when it comes to precious gemstones. It's the opposite, and I fear the lack of understanding and comprehension here is indicative of larger problems. Please save your money unless you intend for your collection to be only for yourself.


Oooookay. Wow. **edited by moderator, no name calling** ;-)


For now I will ignore your overt hostility (and considerable presumptuousness) and simply say that your facts/deets are a bit scrambled. First off, it was a requirement for insurance purposes for me to purchase the replacement Stone in a setting, which is why I just went with a basic cheap one. I never had any intention whatsoever of using that setting in the future--- give me a little credit, for **edited by moderator, please respect the rules** sweet sake. And the settings for the earrings were inexpensive as well, and could easily be discarded after I ascertained the personal taste of a future SO as far as setting preferences go (the diamonds themselves were A cut above stones, so in my opinion the quality of the diamonds would make my odds very good that a large portion of the female population would be very pleased with 'em). Also, and this is something most of you don't seem to realize, but I definitely wasn't going to admit to any future SO that I bought jewelry items in advance--- so the risk of rubbing a future lady the wrong way with pre-bought items is pretty much zero. And to continue providing even more details that aren't necessarily anyone's business **edited by moderator, please respect the rules** most of the top online super ideal diamond sites offer lifetime upgrades, so going with a different style diamond entirely when the time is right-- one that perfectly suits the taste of said future SO--- would be as simple as pie. okey-dokey? :)

FTR: I only have one significantly expensive jewelry item--- the replacement diamond from an engagement ring for a VERY real ex that I spent almost 4 years with, thank you very much. I wasn't looking to start buying expensive sapphires, rubies, and emeralds. I was looking for a relatively inexpensive small Ruby and a decent small blue sapphire. I felt like it would be a low risk gamble to buy these items because the odds that I could eventually use them are decent seeing as how precious stones are kind of a big deal. And like I already mentioned, if it turned out the future SO doesn't like colored stones they will make very nice birthday or Christmas gifts for my mom. To me, it was not a big risk at all. once again, the future SO would never know that I bought these in advance (I'm not nearly as clueless as some of you seem to think; rest assured, no future girlfriend was ever going to be given the information that I had any of these items in advance). And if future SO doesn't like Sapphires or rubies my mom certainly would/will. And, to repeat myself once again, my very unexpected fascination with jewelry came about several years ago during my extensive research for the original engagement ring for my aforementioned (and very real) ex-girlfriend. And the semi-precious colored gemstone hobby (mostly inexpensive cabochons) has been a very recent passion, barely over a year old. As far as precious colored stones go, however, i am a complete newbie.... and i don't have the interest (nor the financial resources) to delve deeply into THIS particular department beyond a few very small decently priced gems. But it has been fun so far (well, it was fun up until I came back to this forum after a week's vacation to discover a **edited by moderator, please respect the rules** of mind-bogglingly presumptuous--- and, yes: outright insulting-- messages, anywhoo ).

I'm not going to beat a dead horse, but I WILL say this: you don't have the foggiest notion of what my "larger problems" might or might not be, pokerface. you have rather ridiculously (AND stalkerishly, frankly) put together some sort of psychological profile for me based off assorted threads on various pricescope forums. AND you have offered oodles of unsolicited advice in addition to being openly hostile and insulting. So, in short: not cool..... not appreciated.... and not necessary.


Anyway, sorry for the back-to-back messages, gang. I was actually trying to edit the earlier post and by the time I finished the amount of time allotted for the editing had expired. So I did a copy and paste and added my edit HERE. :)
 
Last edited by a moderator:

matt_k

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 1, 2020
Messages
356
The fact that these concerns are repeated in multiple threads is telling.


ABFBAF67-CDFB-46BA-8F92-5D14C045189D.jpeg

OP has been very transparent, graphic, and clear on his reasons.

Hilarious. Truly. You're minting comedy gold up in this mofo, to be sure. ;-)
 

Ionysis

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 1, 2015
Messages
1,000
I have to say I’m guilty of some adroit mental justifications for the stuff I buy because I have two daughters. I can’t count the number of times I have bought thing that I don’t need and will rarely wear but just can’t resist with the argument that I’m buying them “for the girls when they are older”.

Frankly my 10 year old is currently tending more towards eventually being a goth than being likely to wear the pastel pink tourmaline pendant I bought “for her”. But I will keep buying my random gee gaws and telling myself (and my husband!) that my daughters are the rationale and will ultimately love my collection. Just try and stop me :)
 
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