Advice about noisy neighbors

[scarleta]

"While I would have appreciated the cookies I have to say I would rather not have had the woman knock on my door"
My answer follows here:

I had a suggestion for Aprilcait only since she had posted this question here. While you may not like my idea its up to her discretion if she wants to use it or not.I thought this board is to help one another and not othervise.I have received several answers here to my questions and while some I use some I don''t and Its up to me to use my discretion..I am trying to help the person who posted that''s all.She can read all suggestions and use the ones she likes.

 

[Maisie]

Date: 2/6/2007 3:51:16 PM
Author: scarleta

''While I would have appreciated the cookies I have to say I would rather not have had the woman knock on my door''
My answer follows here:

I had a suggestion for Aprilcait only since she had posted this question here. While you may not like my idea its up to her discretion if she wants to use it or not.I thought this board is to help one another and not othervise.I have received several answers here to my questions and while some I use some I don''t and Its up to me to use my discretion..I am trying to help the person who posted that''s all.She can read all suggestions and use the ones she likes.

Oh dear

I wasn''t being horrible. I apologise if I came across that way.

 

[aprilcait]

Thank you, everyone, for your great and very helpful suggestions (as well as your entertaining stories) thus far! If anyone has any ideas about phrasing for this note, I''d really appreciate it. (I''m just WAY too big of a wuss to do a face-to-face.) Even though the vote seems to lean toward Maisiebelle''s eloquent phrasing

, I think I should maybe go with something that doesn''t include the word "bonking".

Any thoughts?

 

[Maisie]

How about something along the lines of..... ''we have noticed that the walls/floors in this building are very thin and don''t absorb much noise.... we hope that you haven''t been disturbed by any noise we may have made.......... Obviously you could word it differently but it may make them think that if you are worried they can hear you - you might hear them too.

 

[eks6426]

I think you should combine Diver''s thought with the note:

Dear Neighbors,

Would you mind keeping it down when you get "busy" about 4am every other night? You''re giving my husband ideas and this girl needs her beauty sleep.

Sincerely,

Your downstairs female neighbor.

 

[Maisie]

lol! Yey!! thats brilliant!

 

[lumpkin]

Date: 2/6/2007 4:20:51 PM
Author: IslandDreams
I think you should combine Diver''s thought with the note:

Dear Neighbors,

Would you mind keeping it down when you get ''busy'' about 4am every other night? You''re giving my husband ideas and this girl needs her beauty sleep.

Sincerely,

Your downstairs female neighbor.

LOL!!! I think that''s hillarious!! What a way to get the point across with a sense of humor.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 2/6/2007 4:38:20 PM
Author: lumpkin

Date: 2/6/2007 4:20:51 PM
Author: IslandDreams
I think you should combine Diver''s thought with the note:

Dear Neighbors,

Would you mind keeping it down when you get ''busy'' about 4am every other night? You''re giving my husband ideas and this girl needs her beauty sleep.

Sincerely,

Your downstairs female neighbor.

LOL!!! I think that''s hillarious!! What a way to get the point across with a sense of humor.

I think that''s great!!!

 

[aprilcait]

IslandDreams: that was GREAT!!! LOL!

Maisiebelle: Something along those lines might be good. I like the idea of expressing a concern that we might be bothering them, too. (It''s less like scolding/pointing a finger at out nocturnal rabbit neighbors that way.)

 

[marvel]

Do you have a property management company that handles your HOA? If so, contact them and they will send a nice letter saying to keep it down.

If you have to go the route of leaving your own note, maybe you could just say something like, ''I''ve noticed that your family must get ready for work around 4:30am. My family doesn''t wake until 7:30. Unfortunately,we''ve been losing a few hours of sleep because of the thin walls in our condo. I understand that you are probably not aware of the noise, but was hoping you could kindly accomodate us during the early morning hours. Best Regards.''

You don''t even need to mention the bonking...they''ll get the point.

I''m sure other PSer''s could spruce up the text to make it sound even nicer.

 

[zoebartlett]

"Bonking". Hehe. I hate confrontation so I would opt for leaving a note. A roommate I used to have in a former apt. took care of the matter (same as yours but our neighbors did it at anytime, not only in the middle of the night) by bouncing on my bed and imitating them. She was not so bashful. I was mortified though. Thank God I didn''t know who they were. It only took that one time and we never heard them again. Sure, it was a little immature but funny at the time.

 

[justjulia]

Date: 2/6/2007 11:42:59 AM
Author: divergrrl
I''m just shocked that someone is having that much sex. Everyother night? Do not inform my husband.

Diver.

LMAO here. We used to live in an apt and our next door neighbors did "it" ON THE STAIRS going up from the livingroom-the apts were flipped so every livingroom backed up to the next livingroom, so as we sat watching tv we would get live "commentary" from the walls behind us. All I could say to my husband was, remember when we were like that? He looks at me like I''m from outer space, lol. Anyway, they broke up and moved out a couple of months later. But I mean, ON THE STAIRS??

 

[justjulia]

Ok, since no one has written since me, I am guessing that I am missing out on something great about stairs! lol

 

[zoebartlett]

Just checking other threads...

Yeah, the stairs is a strange place. I''m not sure how that would work...techincally speaking. Shower, too. Can you imagine entertaining friends and that happening? Too funny!

 

[scarleta]

thanks for your appology its accepted. I was just trying to help out..

 

[perry]

I have been in the same situation - with a neighbor in an appartment building I lived in.

In my case I personally visited the gal next door and explained about how the sounds of the bed were clearly audible during their recreational activities, not that I had any objection to what they were doing, and felt that she would like to know.

Actually, the gal was quite nice about it - and did replace the bed the next weekend.


Now, the note is fine if you are not comfortable with personally visiting. However, I think you need to indicate that the bed noises are clearly audible - and that would they consider upgrading their bed to a quiter version so that you can get your beauty sleep (I do like the line about how the sounds are giving your husband ideas...).

Also, there is no reason not to sign it as from your neighbor down below as they will know where it came from anyway; and it would not hurt to invite them to dinner sometime so that you could all meet.

Another thing to check on: Be sure that the note gets to the person who actually lives there every night.... Unless you hear them talking and know exactly who is up there at the time you just don''t know for sure...

Perry

 

[diamondfan]

I think humor always diffuses things better. I love the idea of a note from you, saying, Hey Lovebirds, can you give a tired gal a break? My man is getting ideas and if I do not get my beauty sleep things will not be pretty down here!!! Signed Sleepless in the downstairs unit...

I just think anytime you can make someone smile, correct the situation without direct confrontation AND keep things from being embarassing and uncomfortable you are golden! You can also leave a can of WD40 for the squeaky bed and some foam pad to soften the headboard noise, with a note saying "Thin Wall Neighbor Survival Kit...

If all else fails, get a megaphone, when they go at it, put it against the wall so they can hear you through it and comment like a sports show..."and they're off...Smith is off to a rousing start, etc...(just kidding...I am getting a bit silly!)

 

[divergrrl]

DiamondFan, you''re killing me....

And they have a 4 year old too. I''m in awe. What are these people? Bionic? How on earth???

Thank god my husband doesn''t read where I surf. Can''t have him getting ANY ideas.

Diver...

 

[lumpkin]

I love all the humorous responses. You guys are so funny!

One word about inviting them to dinner....it might be better to wait a little while after you tell them you know what they are up to....wouldn''t want them to think you want to JOIN them....Where''s the EEEEEWWWWWEEEEE icon????

Yikes!

 

[aprilcait]

All of you are cracking my up! I love it!

JustJulia, I completely agree with you about the stairs. All I can think is "Ouch!"
Perry, you bring up a good point. I should probably mention in the note that it is the noisiness of the bed that causing most of the issue.
Diamondfan, you''re too funny!!! Maybe I will try to add a bit of humor to the note.
Divergrrl, I know! I really don''t know how they do it.
Lumpkin, good point! I would definitely want to wait a good while before inviting them over, huh? I don''t want them to get the wrong idea.

 

[dmbfan]

Did you ever get this issue resolved or are they still going at it

 

[bee*]

Date: 3/21/2007 2:42:56 PM
Author: dmbfan
Did you ever get this issue resolved or are they still going at it

lol! I think after reading this post I never want to live in a condo!!

 

[Julianna]

I had this EXACT EXACT exaaaaact problem with the guy upstairs where I used to live. He was, shall we say, of fairly large carriage, and he brought home any number of women, all of sizes compatible with his. It was very very loud. And to tell you the truth, somewhat horrifying.

I am not shy, but I didn''t know this guy (despite having lived there three years...way to get to know the neighbors, me), so I wrote a short letter to him stating that he was waking me up on a regular basis, usually at 3 in the morning on any given day of the week, and to please tone ''er down. Taped it to his door. You know, it worked(ish). Seems that he at least pulled the bed away from the wall.

Meantime, I bought some great squooshy earplugs and whipped ''em out whenever there was an errant problem. That''s no way to live, but at least I could go back to sleep. Good luck. Sheesh.

 

[Julianna]

Date: 2/6/2007 11:16:33 AM
Author: Maisie

Date: 2/6/2007 11:14:34 AM
Author: aprilcait

MC, I actually looked in to getting earplugs, but then I realized that we really shouldn’t have to wear earplugs in our own place. If I was a light sleeper, perhaps I would be more open to doing so, but it really does take a lot to wake me up once I’m asleep. So, I’m not feeling like I’m being too unreasonable.

I think I''m going to go with Sparkel''s suggestion: the anonymous note that explains why we chose that format, etc. Any suggestions of how to phrase it in a friendly, non-confrontational way that minimizes embarrassment for our neighbors?

Dear Neighbours,

Please stop bonking all night as its keeping us awake.
Thankyou.

Love from us downstairs

But seriously, folks. This is basically the letter I wrote. Maisie''s is more succinct, however.

 

[Harriet]

I used to hear the woman''s, um, finale.

 

[Julianna]

Date: 3/21/2007 6:12:05 PM
Author: Harriet
I used to hear the woman''s, um, finale.

Oh my yes. Some of them were screamers.

TMI!!! ARGH!!