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Adoption Thread

ImperfectGirl

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Exciting development today! Our agency called because a birth mom wants to talk with us! From what we were told she is a very lovely lady who is expecting a baby boy in June. She has previously placed a baby for adoption and currently has other children at home and just can't afford to take care of another. She is a single mother and resides in the midwest. She is turning in some additional paperwork and then the phone call will be scheduled. Our coordinator says that she isn't asking to speak with anyone else at this point. Eeeeek! We didn't realize we'd have interest so quick but we are thrilled! :bigsmile:
 

Bella_mezzo

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:appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: Imperfect that is so exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope that it works out for you. Wow that would be fast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :love: :love: :love: A baby boy in June!!!!!!!!

On our end, we got a draft FINALLY of our homestudy on Friday, edited and sent it back to the Homestudy agency that day, and they sent the revised draft to our placement agency today. hoepfully we'll have the final version by the end of the week and we can file the one little piece of paper we need to file with the US government. That's the last thing that will take a long time (hopefully less than 4 weeks) to get approved and then our dossier will be complete and can be sent to Ethiopia!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

ImperfectGirl

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Thanks Bella!

Fingers crossed that it gets approved quicker than 4 weeks! I saw the timeline you previously posted and I'm amazed at how quick it could potentially go for you too! I was under the impression that international adoptions took a long time but admittedly I know very little about any other types of adoption besides the type we are pursuing. Any news on the potential job with the fab schedule?
 

Bella_mezzo

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Thanks Imperfect!

International adoption does take a long time usually especially if you want to adopt an infant, especially an infant girl. From Ethiopia there is about an 18-36 month wait for a referral of a baby girl and a 9-18 month wait for a baby boy, and a 12-18 month wait for a toddler girl, and a 0-6 month wait for a toddler boy. Since we are adopting a little boy who was waiting for a family we eliminated that wait time for a referral. So, we "just" have to deal with the 4 months of paperwork and the 4-6 months of the court and embassy stuff...

Ethiopia may be having some big changes in the process in the next 12 months that could prolong the process...so we are hoping that all of B's paperwork is in order and we can get through court quickly...

I am so excited for you and can't wait to hear how this unfolds for you with this little boy who might be your son!!!
 

Bella_mezzo

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oh, I forgot to answer about the job:)

I've made it past the recruiter and am in the final candidate pool and should have an interview with the company the first or second week of Feb.
 

lili

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Bella and Imperfect...
Wow...how great is that. Summer babies -- which will be here just like that.
Hope everything goes smoothly for you guys.
 

ImperfectGirl

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Bella - I hope B's paperwork does get through before those changes occur...good luck with the interview!

Lili - thanks so much! :))
 

Logan Sapphire

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Imperfect, here's hoping that things go smoothly and quickly for you!!!! Fingers crossed! It's all very exciting :appl:

Our Korean adoption was pretty quick- a little under 3 months for a referral. We were part of a Korean heritage program that our agency offered, which fast tracks Korean adoptees and 1st or 2nd generation Korean-Americans, but when we were in Korea, we met another couple from Seattle (using a different American agency) and their process from start to finish only took 9 months, whereas ours took 14. And, we had been told to expect a boy because Korea has way more boys available for adoption, but we got a girl and so did everyone we met over there. Must've been a bumper crop of girls :bigsmile:
 

MakingTheGrade

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Congrats and Good Luck to those of you starting the process!

My husband is adopted from Korea, and we have always talked about adopting someday, preferably either from China or Korea with the hopes that they might fast track us due to our link in heritage. Although, I hear the wait list for non special needs children from China is years long. I would imagine the wait is pretty long in Korea right now too. It's actually too early for us to be seriously considering adoption since I'm not even 30 yet (china requires both parents to be at least 30) but I look forward to reading the great stories on this thread!

My DH's family loves him to pieces and feels so blessed to have gotten him. He was on a "special needs" list from his Korean orphanage, and was adopted right before he was 2. His "special need" was supposed to be some eye thing, and his parents had lined up surgical appointments for him after picking him up. Turns out...his eyes were fine, he just needed glasses. 26 years later, he's strong as a horse, and tall to boot. :love: His family wonders if maybe somebody at the orphanage loved him so much that they lied about his having special needs to get him adopted faster, or if conditions were so bad that they just didn't realize that he just needed glasses. I hear that many Chinese children on the "special needs" list have very minimal needs (like simple cleft surgeries), so I'm hoping when the time comes, we can adopt somebody from the special needs program just like my DH.

Looking forward to hearing good news from all you lovely ladies!
 

dcgator

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ImperfectGirl|1295906156|2831786 said:
Exciting development today! Our agency called because a birth mom wants to talk with us! From what we were told she is a very lovely lady who is expecting a baby boy in June. She has previously placed a baby for adoption and currently has other children at home and just can't afford to take care of another. She is a single mother and resides in the midwest. She is turning in some additional paperwork and then the phone call will be scheduled. Our coordinator says that she isn't asking to speak with anyone else at this point. Eeeeek! We didn't realize we'd have interest so quick but we are thrilled! :bigsmile:
OMG, ImperfectGirl, sooooo exciting. I really hope that everything works out and that you will get your little June baby. Please do keep us updated as you hear more! Congrats again!
 

ImperfectGirl

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Thank you all so much for the well wishes!

I'm estatic to report that we are officially matched! :bigsmile: :bigsmile: our birthmom is so sweet and just such a wonderful person! We are so honored that she chose us to parent her baby. Our son is due June 24! :bigsmile: She says she will probably take advantage of counseling that is being offered to her and sounds resolved in her desicion to place. She is already referring to him as 'your son' when she talks about him to us. We are thrilled and can't wait to meet her and welcome her as part of our family. I can't believe I'm going to be a mommy in a few months! :praise:

She works at the hospital in her town and says they are very adoption friendly. She says she will request that we are present at the birth. :bigsmile: I am beyond excited and am so grateful to this woman who will grant me the opportunity to be a mother. We feel very blessed.

Now we are looking to find an attorney here in our state and one in hers to handle the legal aspect of things.

Best. Day. Ever. :))
 

Logan Sapphire

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Congrats ImperfectGirl!!!!!!!! What exciting, exciting news! :appl: June 24 is so close...I hope the time flies by. Thoughts and prayers for you and for your baby and his birth mom, who is making the biggest decision of her life. Congrats from one family blessed by adoption to another.
 

charbie

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I'm so excited for you, Imperfectgirl!!!!! that is AMAZING- and so soon! that's only 4.5 months away until you get your little bubba! oh that little baby is so lucky, and doesn't even know it yet. I hope all goes smoothly for the next few months as you prepare for your little bundle to join your family! :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile:
 

Bella_mezzo

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:appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: Imperfect Girl, I am so so so excited for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow, you are going to be a mommy in JUNE!!!!!! JUNE is right around the corner!!!!!! :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl:
 

Skippy123

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Imperfectgirl, that is FABULOUS NEWS; oh my gosh I am so HAPPY for you!!!! Super duper exciting!!! YAY :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl:
 

ImperfectGirl

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Thank you Logan, Charbie, Bella, Diamondseeker, & Skippy!

You are all right...June is so close! So much to do as I've refused to buy anything baby related in case the process took a long time. Hopefully shopping for him will keep me busy :bigsmile:

We've already decided on his name: Parker Jude :))
 

lili

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:appl: :appl: :appl: That's just perfect ImperfectGirl :appl: :appl: :appl:
So so happy for you and your husband. June is just around the corner.

Love the name Parker.
 

dcgator

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ImperfectGirl - OMG, how exciting that you got matched. Congratulations! That is amazing that you will have your little one in just a few short months. I am so very happy for you and your DH and I can't wait to hear more about Parker! :bigsmile:
 

ImperfectGirl

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Thanks so much DC!

We actually got an ultrasound pic from our birth mom's appt today and I wanted to share :praise:

Photo-0015.jpg
 

dreamer_dachsie

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Goodness IG that is wonderful news. And so soon too! You always hear about how long domestic adoption can take, do you mind sharing anything that might be different in your case that helped speed it along?
 

ImperfectGirl

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Thanks Bella! We think he's pretty cute too! :))

Dreamer_D|1297288788|2847944 said:
Goodness IG that is wonderful news. And so soon too! You always hear about how long domestic adoption can take, do you mind sharing anything that might be different in your case that helped speed it along?
Sure Dreamer. I think one of the biggest factors that sped up our adoption is the fact that we were looking to adopt a minority baby. We are African Amercian so we were happy to adopt a baby with AA heritage. Since AA babies are considered hard to place I know some agencies will ask prospective adoptive parents to consider adopting a minority child saying this will often shorten their wait. Other than that, our agency is in CA and is licensed to work with birthmothers in all 50 states so that certainly widens the pool. We did consider an agency in our state that only works with birth mothers in our state (to cut out the hassel of ICPC and travel expenses) but the estimated wait for a match was well over 1 year. All other things being equal, we opted for the one with a much shorter estimated wait. :))
 

Bella_mezzo

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Hey IG-Can you explain the ICPC to me?

DH is black and if in the future we pursued a domestic adoption it would pretty much 100% be for a AA or biracial baby.

We live in New York State and something with the ICPC is tricky here, but I don't understand what :rolleyes:
 

dreamer_dachsie

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ImperfectGirl|1297291985|2847989 said:
Thanks Bella! We think he's pretty cute too! :))

Dreamer_D|1297288788|2847944 said:
Goodness IG that is wonderful news. And so soon too! You always hear about how long domestic adoption can take, do you mind sharing anything that might be different in your case that helped speed it along?
Sure Dreamer. I think one of the biggest factors that sped up our adoption is the fact that we were looking to adopt a minority baby. We are African Amercian so we were happy to adopt a baby with AA heritage. Since AA babies are considered hard to place I know some agencies will ask prospective adoptive parents to consider adopting a minority child saying this will often shorten their wait. Other than that, our agency is in CA and is licensed to work with birthmothers in all 50 states so that certainly widens the pool. We did consider an agency in our state that only works with birth mothers in our state (to cut out the hassel of ICPC and travel expenses) but the estimated wait for a match was well over 1 year. All other things being equal, we opted for the one with a much shorter estimated wait. :))
Interesting IG, and truly sad that AA babies are harder to place :blackeye: Here in Canada I think there is a similar scenerio but with Aboriginal children. I recall Rosie O'Donnel saying back when she was adopting her babies that if parents were "willing" to adopt biracial babies then the wait time was nothing compared to what it would be if they wanted caucasian babies. I guess that the racial demographics of babies available for adoption just don't match up with the demographics of adoptive parents, and if most people want a child of their own race, then this comes up. Its pretty sad to think of all the people desperate to adopt kids and then kids out there who need parents, but somehow the two just don't get together.
 

lili

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Imperfect---
:appl: :appl: great u/s.
So sweet of the birth mother to send you the picture and let you feel connected to the baby now.
 

ImperfectGirl

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Bella_mezzo|1297308535|2848203 said:
Hey IG-Can you explain the ICPC to me?

DH is black and if in the future we pursued a domestic adoption it would pretty much 100% be for a AA or biracial baby.

We live in New York State and something with the ICPC is tricky here, but I don't understand what :rolleyes:
From what I gather and what's been explained to me, ICPC (Interstate Compact for the Placement of Children) is an agreement between all 50 states to ensure the protection of adopted children when crossing state lines. Since each state's adoption laws are different, the ICPC ensures that in situations like ours, where birth mom and adoptive parents live in different states, that the laws of both the sending state and receiving state were followed.

So in our case, we have to hire an attorney in our birth mom's state to represent her. This attorney will take care of terminating the birth parent's rights and sending all paperwork to the receiving state to show we were compliant with the sending state's laws. Then our attorney in our state will file paperwork to show that we were compliant with the receiving state's laws. Then the ICPC office in both states will release us to cross state lines and return home. Our attorney tells us that ICPC could take anywhere from 5-10 business days so we are planning on being displaced in birth mom's state for 2 weeks.

Since each state has different laws, I'm not sure what specifically about New York's ICPC is tricky. I hope that helps even though I couldn't provide you with any specifics concerning your state.

ETA: Thanks lili! I really couldn't have asked for a better birth mom. She is, hands down, one of the sweetest people I've come in contact with.
 

Bella_mezzo

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Thanks IG--I'm not sure what is tricky about it either I'll keep digging:)

Our good news for the day is that our homestudy got approved today:) :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl:

Supposedly they are overnighting a notarized copy so that we can file our I-600A form tomorrow...I'll keep you posted:)
 

ImperfectGirl

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Bella - that is awesome news!!!! :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: I'm sure it's a huge relief for it to be done!! So happy for you guys and I can't wait to hear more updates! :))
 
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