Home A hard decision

[Smurfysmiles]

Of course if something comes up, we will use the money for an emergency, we have canceled plans before. But granted there is no emergency, it''s safe to say we plan on going. I won''t share any pictures since it seems most of you don''t approve but if you don''t hear from me a few days in july...that''s why.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Date: 1/8/2010 3:40:36 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 1/8/2010 3:32:55 PM

Author: Smurfyimproved

Our trip to FL will cost between 700-800 at most as we will be staying with relatives during that time who are providing us with food, a car, etc. The money is towards a regular hotel for 2 or 3 days, airfare and a little bit of spending money). Quite frankly we have both spent so much time stressed out that this is a priority for us, for our mental health, and for each other. If people can't understand that, that's fine. But I refuse to feel bad about it. Our car cost us 100 dollars to fix last month because we had a warranty. If people spent their lives living at home, paying off bills, not taking time for themselves, well I see that as a life wasted. And that is just my personal opinion. Yes there are responsibilities but you should be able to find time for yourselves as well, even if it is only once every couple of years.

Seriously, WHY are you asking us if you've already decided. Do you just want 'permission' not to feel guilty about choosing your honeymoon over two family events? I'm sure its hard to hear all the brides in BIW complaining about 'selfish' people blowing off their destination weddings but going on expensive personal vacations .... while churning over your OWN plan to so something similar, but, c'est la vie! Everyone has their own perspective. So if your plan is to 'do you' ... do it. But don't ask if you don't wanna hear opinions.

Actually if people had told me to go to the wedding or the graduation as the majority, I would have done that. Thanks for the assumption though. I asked to see what other people thought in regards to everything being so close together. After my financial life came into the picture, I felt pressured like I had to defend myself just to get back on topic.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 1/8/2010 3:40:41 PM
Author: Smurfyimproved
Of course if something comes up, we will use the money for an emergency, we have canceled plans before. But granted there is no emergency, it''s safe to say we plan on going. I won''t share any pictures since it seems most of you don''t approve but if you don''t hear from me a few days in july...that''s why.

Are you guilting us into approving of your trip?

IMO, not having a job in three months IS AN EMERGENCY.

I swear sometimes I don''t know why I read threads like this.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Date: 1/8/2010 3:43:02 PM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 1/8/2010 3:40:41 PM

Author: Smurfyimproved

Of course if something comes up, we will use the money for an emergency, we have canceled plans before. But granted there is no emergency, it''s safe to say we plan on going. I won''t share any pictures since it seems most of you don''t approve but if you don''t hear from me a few days in july...that''s why.

Are you guilting us into approving of your trip?


IMO, not having a job in three months IS AN EMERGENCY.


I swear sometimes I don''t know why I read threads like this.

back at you. Geez. This is why we have 2 different savings accounts.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 1/8/2010 3:40:41 PM
Author: Smurfyimproved
Of course if something comes up, we will use the money for an emergency, we have canceled plans before. But granted there is no emergency, it''s safe to say we plan on going. I won''t share any pictures since it seems most of you don''t approve but if you don''t hear from me a few days in july...that''s why.

So much DRAMZ! Lemmie get this straight -- you''re taking our advice & going with Plan C because we said to .. but ALSO we don''t "approve" so you won''t burden us with fun vacation photos (punishing! stops! can''t stands it!). Come on, Smurfs, its not that dramatic. You know full well folks here will celebrate along with you on any honeymoon you take no matter what your financial situation is or isn''t at the time.

 

[Loves Vintage]

Smurfy - Here is my best advice to you - do not post on here asking for advice that is related to money. It just doesn''t seem to go well, and you are obviously frustrated by the advice you receive. Really, there is no need to continue to put yourself through it. It seems like it is a topic that is prominent in your life right now, and that''s why you start threads looking for advice, but you know what you want to do. Talk it over with your DH and your parents and friends, and I am sure you will be fine. There are plenty of things that I don''t post about on here because, frankly, the advice I would receive would not alter my decisions at all.

As to your choices, I would go to the wedding, and try to make that into a mini-vacation. A wedding in a National Park sounds lovely -- that was actually what I always wanted. I''ve never been to Iowa or surrounding states, so I would rent a car, or possibly borrow one from your sister, and have a roadtrip, just you and your DH! This may not sound appealing to you, I realize, after I''ve written it out, because I think you''re from the MW, but seriously, you''d be away and you''d be with your DH. It wouldn''t be your honeymoon, yet, but you could do that once things have become more settled financially.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Date: 1/8/2010 3:47:45 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 1/8/2010 3:40:41 PM

Author: Smurfyimproved

Of course if something comes up, we will use the money for an emergency, we have canceled plans before. But granted there is no emergency, it''s safe to say we plan on going. I won''t share any pictures since it seems most of you don''t approve but if you don''t hear from me a few days in july...that''s why.

So much DRAMZ! Lemmie get this straight -- you''re taking our advice & going with Plan C because we said to .. but ALSO we don''t ''approve'' so you won''t burden us with fun vacation photos (punishing! stops! can''t stands it!). Come on, Smurfs, its not that dramatic. You know full well folks here will celebrate along with you on any honeymoon you take no matter what your financial situation is or isn''t at the time.

Certainly doesn''t seem like it. It seems like everytime I get excited about anything going on in my life since we got married, it is all no what you need to do is this and what you need to do is that. All I''m asking for is a freakin opinion on what you would do. I would NEVER do that someone on the forums who is excited about anything! I would say that''s so great, I hope it goes well for you or something along those lines. I guess I don''t see why other people have such a hard time reciprocating.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Date: 1/8/2010 3:49:44 PM
Author: Loves Vintage
Smurfy - Here is my best advice to you - do not post on here asking for advice that is related to money. It just doesn''t seem to go well, and you are obviously frustrated by the advice you receive. Really, there is no need to continue to put yourself through it. It seems like it is a topic that is prominent in your life right now, and that''s why you start threads looking for advice, but you know what you want to do. Talk it over with your DH and your parents and friends, and I am sure you will be fine. There are plenty of things that I don''t post about on here because, frankly, the advice I would receive would not alter my decisions at all.


As to your choices, I would go to the wedding, and try to make that into a mini-vacation. A wedding in a National Park sounds lovely -- that was actually what I always wanted. I''ve never been to Iowa or surrounding states, so I would rent a car, or possibly borrow one from your sister, and have a roadtrip, just you and your DH! This may not sound appealing to you, I realize, after I''ve written it out, because I think you''re from the MW, but seriously, you''d be away and you''d be with your DH. It wouldn''t be your honeymoon, yet, but you could do that once things have become more settled financially.

I think you are spot on about not asking for advice on certain things.

As for the Iowa trip...yeah...there''s nothing there aside from family. It doesn''t sound appealing at all and the only reason I would go is to be supportive.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 1/8/2010 3:49:52 PM
Author: Smurfyimproved

Date: 1/8/2010 3:47:45 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 1/8/2010 3:40:41 PM

Author: Smurfyimproved

Of course if something comes up, we will use the money for an emergency, we have canceled plans before. But granted there is no emergency, it''s safe to say we plan on going. I won''t share any pictures since it seems most of you don''t approve but if you don''t hear from me a few days in july...that''s why.

So much DRAMZ! Lemmie get this straight -- you''re taking our advice & going with Plan C because we said to .. but ALSO we don''t ''approve'' so you won''t burden us with fun vacation photos (punishing! stops! can''t stands it!). Come on, Smurfs, its not that dramatic. You know full well folks here will celebrate along with you on any honeymoon you take no matter what your financial situation is or isn''t at the time.

Certainly doesn''t seem like it. It seems like everytime I get excited about anything going on in my life since we got married, it is all no what you need to do is this and what you need to do is that. All I''m asking for is a freakin opinion on what you would do. I would NEVER do that someone on the forums who is excited about anything! I would say that''s so great, I hope it goes well for you or something along those lines. I guess I don''t see why other people have such a hard time reciprocating.

That''s not what I''d want, so that''s not what I dish.

You want snuggles and kittens, so you dish it out.

No one LIKES hearing the negative, but we''ve all gotten our fair share here because we''re being honest. I''d rather not bury my head in the sand.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 1/8/2010 3:49:52 PM
Author: Smurfyimproved

Date: 1/8/2010 3:47:45 PM

Author: decodelighted

Date: 1/8/2010 3:40:41 PM


Author: Smurfyimproved


Of course if something comes up, we will use the money for an emergency, we have canceled plans before. But granted there is no emergency, it''s safe to say we plan on going. I won''t share any pictures since it seems most of you don''t approve but if you don''t hear from me a few days in july...that''s why.

So much DRAMZ! Lemmie get this straight -- you''re taking our advice & going with Plan C because we said to .. but ALSO we don''t ''approve'' so you won''t burden us with fun vacation photos (punishing! stops! can''t stands it!). Come on, Smurfs, its not that dramatic. You know full well folks here will celebrate along with you on any honeymoon you take no matter what your financial situation is or isn''t at the time.

Certainly doesn''t seem like it. It seems like everytime I get excited about anything going on in my life since we got married, it is all no what you need to do is this and what you need to do is that. All I''m asking for is a freakin opinion on what you would do. I would NEVER do that someone on the forums who is excited about anything! I would say that''s so great, I hope it goes well for you or something along those lines. I guess I don''t see why other people have such a hard time reciprocating.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Date: 1/8/2010 3:54:33 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 1/8/2010 3:49:52 PM

Author: Smurfyimproved

Date: 1/8/2010 3:47:45 PM


Author: decodelighted

Date: 1/8/2010 3:40:41 PM



Author: Smurfyimproved



Of course if something comes up, we will use the money for an emergency, we have canceled plans before. But granted there is no emergency, it''s safe to say we plan on going. I won''t share any pictures since it seems most of you don''t approve but if you don''t hear from me a few days in july...that''s why.

So much DRAMZ! Lemmie get this straight -- you''re taking our advice & going with Plan C because we said to .. but ALSO we don''t ''approve'' so you won''t burden us with fun vacation photos (punishing! stops! can''t stands it!). Come on, Smurfs, its not that dramatic. You know full well folks here will celebrate along with you on any honeymoon you take no matter what your financial situation is or isn''t at the time.

Certainly doesn''t seem like it. It seems like everytime I get excited about anything going on in my life since we got married, it is all no what you need to do is this and what you need to do is that. All I''m asking for is a freakin opinion on what you would do. I would NEVER do that someone on the forums who is excited about anything! I would say that''s so great, I hope it goes well for you or something along those lines. I guess I don''t see why other people have such a hard time reciprocating.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 1/8/2010 3:49:52 PM
Author: Smurfyimproved
All I''m asking for is a freakin opinion on what you would do. I guess I don''t see why other people have such a hard time reciprocating.

ENABLING?
If you actually cared (& planned to mimic) what WE would do then you would have picked PLAN D: Hoard cash, no vaca.

What happens when there''s an "emergency" that costs more than you''ve saved in your "emergency account"? Countdown to THAT thread in 3, 2, ...

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Yeah, I''m on hiatus from PS for awhile
bye

 

[monarch64]

Date: 1/8/2010 3:55:54 PM
Author: Smurfyimproved
Yeah, I''m on hiatus from PS for awhile
bye

I could swear I''ve heard you say that before.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Date: 1/8/2010 4:00:15 PM
Author: monarch64

Date: 1/8/2010 3:55:54 PM

Author: Smurfyimproved

Yeah, I''m on hiatus from PS for awhile

bye

I could swear I''ve heard you say that before.

A temporary break, not leaving for good
There are some people that you can only take in small doses and I''m sorry to say a few of you fall in that category.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 1/8/2010 4:01:39 PM
Author: Smurfyimproved

Date: 1/8/2010 4:00:15 PM

Author: monarch64

Date: 1/8/2010 3:55:54 PM


Author: Smurfyimproved


Yeah, I''m on hiatus from PS for awhile


bye

I could swear I''ve heard you say that before.

A temporary break, not leaving for good

There are some people that you can only take in small doses and I''m sorry to say a few of you fall in that category.

 

[rhbgirl24]

Date: 1/8/2010 4:01:39 PM
Author: Smurfyimproved

Date: 1/8/2010 4:00:15 PM

Author: monarch64

Date: 1/8/2010 3:55:54 PM


Author: Smurfyimproved


Yeah, I''m on hiatus from PS for awhile


bye

I could swear I''ve heard you say that before.

A temporary break, not leaving for good

There are some people that you can only take in small doses and I''m sorry to say a few of you fall in that category.

I dont understand why when people don''t get what they want they revert back to high school childishness......

Relax. Do what you want. You dont need everyone on here to give you permission. They are just trying to tell you the mature way to go about it, if you dont want open opinions, you may not want to ask on here b/c everyone is VERY blunt. One of the reasons I like this forum.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 1/8/2010 4:01:39 PM
Author: Smurfyimproved
There are some people that you can only take in small doses

Could that be why I''m searching for a "dancing" emotie?

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 1/8/2010 4:09:15 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 1/8/2010 4:01:39 PM
Author: Smurfyimproved
There are some people that you can only take in small doses

Could that be why I''m searching for a ''dancing'' emotie?

What, no chorus line?

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 1/8/2010 4:09:15 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 1/8/2010 4:01:39 PM

Author: Smurfyimproved

There are some people that you can only take in small doses

Could that be why I''m searching for a ''dancing'' emotie?

Here''s the link to the page with all of the emoties

http://www.pricescope.com/idealbb/forum.asp?mode=today

 

[kama_s]

Date: 1/8/2010 3:52:11 PM
Author: Smurfyimproved


I think you are spot on about not asking for advice on certain things.

As for the Iowa trip...yeah...there''s nothing there aside from family. It doesn''t sound appealing at all and the only reason I would go is to be supportive.

Why does this sound so familiar? Haven''t you said something similar in the past? Yet you continue to post questions and seek advice when you''ve decidedly already made up your mind.

To answer your question, I''d do none of the above. Emergency fund = a death in the family, an unexpected wedding gift, a close distant family member in the hospital. Knowing that you''re going to lose your job is not an emergency, and thus you actually do not have a savings account for it. In december you didn''t have 100$ to fix your car, you had to postpone/change your cell phone plan to pay for the car. How can you come back mere weeks later and expect us to be excited about your potential honeymoon? Think about it rationally. The whole world isn''t out against you, they''re trying to help. Trust me, it''s so much easier to just avoid your threads than chime in and give you ''advice'' that you arrogantly brush off.

If I had a job and enough savings for a minimum of 1 year, then I would choose my sister''s wedding.

 

[monarch64]

Date: 1/8/2010 4:17:15 PM
Author: kama_s

Date: 1/8/2010 3:52:11 PM
Author: Smurfyimproved


I think you are spot on about not asking for advice on certain things.

As for the Iowa trip...yeah...there''s nothing there aside from family. It doesn''t sound appealing at all and the only reason I would go is to be supportive.

Why does this sound so familiar? Haven''t you said something similar in the past? Yet you continue to post questions and seek advice when you''ve decidedly already made up your mind.

To answer your question, I''d do none of the above. Emergency fund = a death in the family, an unexpected wedding gift, a close distant family member in the hospital. Knowing that you''re going to lose your job is not an emergency, and thus you actually do not have a savings account for it. In december you didn''t have 100$ to fix your car, you had to postpone/change your cell phone plan to pay for the car. How can you come back mere weeks later and expect us to be excited about your potential honeymoon? Think about it rationally. The whole world isn''t out against you, they''re trying to help. Trust me, it''s so much easier to just avoid your threads than chime in and give you ''advice'' that you arrogantly brush off.

If I had a job and enough savings for a minimum of 1 year, then I would choose my sister''s wedding.

What''s Mara''s quote/signature line? I think it''s Einstein''s definition of insanity, you know, where he says it''s doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

 

[monarch64]

N/M

 

[swimmer]

Guys, one of the biggest red flags here is honeymooning in JULY IN ORLANDO? Dear Lord Smurf, that is going to be freaking hot. I lose that lovin' feeling when its over 90something every day but perhaps NW folks are into that.

Good luck finding a new job!

 

[decodelighted]

WHY are people so RATIONAL! And ABLE TO TYPE! And seem to have some kind of short term MEMORY! Wahhhhhhh.

(tantrum emotie I''m also too lazy to copy/paste

)

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 1/8/2010 4:24:45 PM
Author: decodelighted
WHY are people so RATIONAL! And ABLE TO TYPE! And seem to have some kind of short term MEMORY! Wahhhhhhh.


(tantrum emotie I''m also too lazy to copy/paste

)

 

[lucyandroger]

I have a suggestion. My BF and I have been short on TIME recently so occasionally we do a vacation at home. We clean the apartment (now house) until it''s spotless beforehand and then act as if we''re on vacation. For us that means we get to eat out at fancy restaurants, go shopping in the fancy boutique stores, enjoy a walk around the monuments (we live right outside DC), go ice skating or bowling or catch a movie. Basically, we vacation in our hometown but really relax and recreate how we would be on vacation. It''s great because there''s no travel time and you feel like you can splurge on things because it''s never anywhere near as expensive as actually travelling and paying for airfare/hotel. Just a thought...

 

[Shoopy]

I must get married and become a newlywed asap.

 

[hisdiamondgirl]

Date: 1/8/2010 4:23:14 PM
Author: swimmer
Guys, one of the biggest red flags here is honeymooning in JULY IN ORLANDO? Dear Lord Smurf, that is going to be freaking hot. I lose that lovin'' feeling when its over 90something every day but perhaps NW folks are into that.

Good luck finding a new job!

Please! Tell me about it! !I have to go to a wedding 4th of JULY in MIAMI!!!

Can I just go nekkid?!?!

 

[rhbgirl24]

Date: 1/8/2010 4:27:42 PM
Author: lucyandroger
I have a suggestion. My BF and I have been short on TIME recently so occasionally we do a vacation at home. We clean the apartment (now house) until it''s spotless beforehand and then act as if we''re on vacation. For us that means we get to eat out at fancy restaurants, go shopping in the fancy boutique stores, enjoy a walk around the monuments (we live right outside DC), go ice skating or bowling or catch a movie. Basically, we vacation in our hometown but really relax and recreate how we would be on vacation. It''s great because there''s no travel time and you feel like you can splurge on things because it''s never anywhere near as expensive as actually travelling and paying for airfare/hotel. Just a thought...

Thats a VERY cool idea.... must try that sometime. We haven''t even had a weekend home for OURSELVES in probably 6 months (the only time together has been our honeymoon) so this idea really really appeals to me!!