Sounds Like Operation Upgrade is About to Commence...

[Polished]

Colour's a funny old thing. I started off with a G with Brian Gavin. I noticed a tint from the side and at certain angles. My jeweller here assessed the stone as an H. GIA is used here in Australia as a diamond grader and are perhaps stricter on colour. Long story short, I ended up with a G colour from Good Old Gold that was closer to an H. I absolutely love this diamond, love to embrace the slight warmth, in fact the warmth seems to add charm to the sparkle. It has a smaller table - perhaps that's part of the secret of its success over the first one I had. Not trying to give you guidance through my personal experience, just to say don't underestimate the fear factor when you first get a diamond ring.

 

[sledge]

Sorry I see what you mean. It’s a halo from the top down view. The center stone will go up in color. I assume that means you are keeping the setting since you put so much time and effort and money into it.

Yes I will keep the setting. Too much effort, time and money invested into it at this point. Not to mention it took a small miracle to get to this point.

My wife's ring is an H colored GIA stone, if she complains about it then I'll find myself a cheaper wife.

LOL maybe I should try that....after I'm married.

Hahahhaha that’s awesome comment ) I should say that to my husband but in deferent version if he cannot upgrade my stone ,I need to find more expensive husband

Ouch. She's got jokes!

@sledge You saw the stone before it was set, right?
Did you see any yellow tint? I actually do see what she is talking about from the pictures, but it’s hard to get a good diamond photo.
I would take her to a store and have her pick out a color that she deems white. She’ll always be bothered by the tint...

No I didn't. I kick myself for it too. It stayed in the BGD vault until it shipped to DK.

The tint is there. I've seen it but I thought I was more color sensitive than her, and most people. Just early on we had conversations that eluded me to believe I could have bought anything and she wouldn't have known the difference. I think that is why I'm so shocked truthfully.

Stones with fluoresence are sometimes overgraded for color (see article below), so with AGS grading, this stone easily could be GIA I color in light with zero UV.

https://www.pricescope.com/wiki/diamonds/diamond-flourescence

I certainly think you could go to G color and improve this problem. Just tell BG it HAS to be a true G, as in GIA G, and get the stone appraised before you have it set. Get as close to the exact same size as the stone you have now. It looks right in the setting and I would NOT sacrifice size. Only go up one color because you'll be in huge trouble if you ever want to upgrade again, since you'd have to increase two specs. I think a true G would be a big improvement, and you're already going to have to add money to get a G without fluorescence.

Thank you for the link. I will read in more detail but was not aware they fudged the grading with fluor. I can personally see small traces of tint in F and a little more in G so now I'm a little worried she may be as color sensitive as me.

But that was pretty much my plan with BGD. I just need to get her to be agreeable to go look at some GIA stones so I have a good reference point.

 

[kindred]

@sledge, I just wanted to say thanks for that update and that I am so impressed by the amount of effort you put into giving your fiance a ring like she wanted, but even better. Most people don't put much effort into rings at all. Pricescopers are a different breed. I am sure that you guys can work out a solution. You two will have to decide whether getting a higher color diamond is necessary, but there is NO need to change that expertly crafted setting!

 

[icy_jade]

Hi I got a tag so here I am.

Firstly, I’m sorry to hear about this especially knowing how much effort you put into the ring. I do agree with what others have said about waiting before upgrading. I would also suggest to bring your fiancé to a diamond store to see how tolerant or intolerant she is to color. She may be super color sensitive and need an E or even a D. Or maybe she will be fine with a G. Big price diff so really is worth investigating.

I just picked up my G color diamond yesterday and I did some color testing on H and I CBI diamonds. I thought that maybe the H and I diamonds being super ideal could be tolerable but they looked yellow to me face up (I did not even have to look at side profiles). Maybe it’s the more lenient AGS grading but still... personally I was actually disappointed as I was hoping I could go down in color next time when DSS sets in but I guess it’s not meant to be...

As for my G, I do detect some color. Haven’t spent that much time with my new diamond so I can’t be 100% sure that the color tint really doesn’t bug me but so far I’m ok with it. It’s not disturbingly obviously “yellow” to me unlike the H or I. That said I didn’t dare to compare with an F or E diamond at the store.

Anyway my new diamond is a sparkle bomb! So I’m happy with it even with the tint.


Hope it all works out for you in the end. Pls keep us posted and I hope you can have an honest conversation with your fiancé. FWIW my husband got me a H colored diamond and while it bugged me I did really appreciate the effort behind it.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Thank you for the link. I will read in more detail but was not aware they fudged the grading with fluor. I can personally see small traces of tint in F and a little more in G so now I'm a little worried she may be as color sensitive as me.

But that was pretty much my plan with BGD. I just need to get her to be agreeable to go look at some GIA stones so I have a good reference point.

They don't really fudge the grading, but the article explains why it can happen.

If you are seeing tint in a true F color diamond, I believe you are seeing environmental color. An F appears colorless as you can see from cflutist's pictures. You'd only really have the possibility of detecting the slightest tint if you were holding a D color diamond next to it in natural light with no environmental color.

One warning about taking her to look at GIA diamond color...you can't tell color in jewelry stores due to the lighting. Even if you could, it's not the lighting she sees her ring in on a daily basis. My I color diamond looks very white face up in natural light and it looks incredible in halogen lighting. In a car, it looks awful due to the window tint.

 

[TreeScientist]

Yeah I can see the tint too. But I'm detailed and picky. What surprises me is that SHE can do it. When we started this journey she literally told me to get her a CZ and she'd be happy. Now I'm learning she's a f*ckin' color connoisseur!

Not necessarily a connoisseur, but the color may matter much more to her than the other Cs of a diamond. Remember, most CZs are completely white (D color equivalent). If she has mostly owned CZ jewelry (which is where that comment may have come from) then she's probably used to the stones looking exceptionally white. Do CZs sparkle like diamonds? No. But are they very, very white. Yes.

I think that's one of the weaknesses of most of the discussions on PriceScope. We assume that cut matters above all else for EVERY SINGLE INDIVIDUAL. But to some, the color (or lack of it) may matter more than the cut of the diamond, or even whether it's a diamond at all. These are important aspects to consider and something that I think we should start asking potential buyers who are posting on this site.

The choice came down to a WF 0.90ct G SI1 Expert Select and the BGD stone. I opted for the BGD because of the superior cut, meeting true super ideal & not just expert select, it was a super clean VS2, it was about $1k lower and it had medium fluor to help whiten back to a G.

Also, just to point it out for the sake of correctness, stones in the Blue Line do not need to meet SuperIdeal cut standards. The Blue line is a "near SuperIdeal" line similar to the Expert Select line from WF, with the only difference being that BGD Blue stones have fluor. Obviously, stones in the Blue line are still beautifully cut, but to say that BGD Blue diamonds are superior to the WF ES line is incorrect.

If she remembers that color, I'd be amazed. She spent like 10-15 minutes with it and that was MONTHS ago.

Discounting a woman's ability to remember literally the smallest, minutest detail from eons ago. I've made that mistake before, and every time it's come back to bite me in the rear. NEVER discount a woman's memory.

I've long ago given up remembering details about my personal life. It's a fruitless endeavor, because my fiancé will remember everything for me anyway in much greater detail than I am capable of. I see it as a bonus. That's more space in my brain for science-y stuff.

 

[Wewechew]

Hahahhaha that’s awesome comment ) I should say that to my husband but in deferent version if he cannot upgrade my stone ,I need to find more expensive husband

I’ve told my husband I married wrong when he’s complained about my jewelry habit

 

[Golden_bird]

I’ve told my husband I married wrong when he’s complained about my jewelry habit

Oh my husband sees no sense in jewelry ! There is no practical use of it . Myself as a artistic person ,I love surround myself with beauty (flowers ,beautiful colors ,small things which make the whole picture more unique ) his point of view is save more and go on vacation sometimes I think it’s great bcs he doesn’t need those little expensive things so I can enjoy them myself and don’t need to share

 

[sledge]

They don't really fudge the grading, but the article explains why it can happen.

If you are seeing tint in a true F color diamond, I believe you are seeing environmental color. An F appears colorless as you can see from cflutist's pictures. You'd only really have the possibility of detecting the slightest tint if you were holding a D color diamond next to it in natural light with no environmental color.

One warning about taking her to look at GIA diamond color...you can't tell color in jewelry stores due to the lighting. Even if you could, it's not the lighting she sees her ring in on a daily basis. My I color diamond looks very white face up in natural light and it looks incredible in halogen lighting. In a car, it looks awful due to the window tint.

I need to get better about how I say things. I've noticed I am sometimes misunderstood from my original intent. I agree with what you are saying that they don't "fudge" the grading.

I understand it to mean it CAN happen because of the lighting used during the grading process - NOT that it HAS to necessarily happen. More similar to a false positive.

More disturbing (to me) is that as the article explains is that when the diamond gets out of the UV light and the stone is less excited, it returns to it's normal/natural body color. So much in the same way it helps whiten the stone for the visual purposes that we consider a positive, it can inadvertently create a problem during grading to assess the true color grade.

For the way I analyze and view risk, this new information creates issues for me. For my own personal buying I will adjust as follows:

• Stones with medium+ fluor to be vetted and compared against GIA stones of equal color with no fluor to ensure color is being accurately stated.
• If vetting is unavailable, it has to be understood and accepted it is POSSIBLE that color grading could be off by as much as 1 grade and that to move forward with the purchase, then that risk has to be acceptable.
• If no vetting is available and the above risk is unacceptable, then color should be adjusted up by 1 grade to ensure this possibility is eliminated and the actual color received is equal, or better, than expected.

For recommendations to others I will make them aware of these risks, encourage vetting and then let them decide how much of a risk they view this and how they want to mitigate that risk.

As far as seeing color in an F, I was referring to the picture below. I agree that when not side by side it would be very difficult to assess.

Not necessarily a connoisseur, but the color may matter much more to her than the other Cs of a diamond. Remember, most CZs are completely white (D color equivalent). If she has mostly owned CZ jewelry (which is where that comment may have come from) then she's probably used to the stones looking exceptionally white. Do CZs sparkle like diamonds? No. But are they very, very white. Yes.

I think that's one of the weaknesses of most of the discussions on PriceScope. We assume that cut matters above all else for EVERY SINGLE INDIVIDUAL. But to some, the color (or lack of it) may matter more than the cut of the diamond, or even whether it's a diamond at all. These are important aspects to consider and something that I think we should start asking potential buyers who are posting on this site.

She's not much of a jewelry person. She made the comment about the CZ because being together and sharing our lives together was more important to her than the rock on her finger. Oddly enough, that attitude made me want to get the best rock possible for her.

Cut probably is a weakness, and strength, of most PS'ers. While I agree about understanding the need of each specific potential buyer, we also have to guide them in good effort to fully understand the 5 C's, yes 5: cut, carat, color, clarity and COST. Also, they need to understand how diamonds are a zero sum game, so if your cost/budget is fixed then you will have to upgrade/downgrade the other 4 C's to find the perfect diamond.

Also, just to point it out for the sake of correctness, stones in the Blue Line do not need to meet SuperIdeal cut standards. The Blue line is a "near SuperIdeal" line similar to the Expert Select line from WF, with the only difference being that BGD Blue stones have fluor. Obviously, stones in the Blue line are still beautifully cut, but to say that BGD Blue diamonds are superior to the WF ES line is incorrect.

For the sake of correctness, BGD disagrees with your assessment about BGD Blue's not being "true super ideals" (aka Signature Series cut quality):

https://www.briangavindiamonds.com/news/brian-gavin-signature-diamonds-vs-brian-gavin-blue/

I cannot comment rather this Blue was better or worse than the WF ES. As I've noted many times over in several other threads, that stone was a performer and WF gemologist would continually be amazed it got an ES rating as many preferred over similar ACA's.

I wish I could have compared the BGD Blue and WF ES side by side to compare, as I think both BGD and WF are quality vendors. But without purchasing both to do the comparison and then returning, it wasn't a realistic option.

Discounting a woman's ability to remember literally the smallest, minutest detail from eons ago. I've made that mistake before, and every time it's come back to bite me in the rear. NEVER discount a woman's memory.

I've long ago given up remembering details about my personal life. It's a fruitless endeavor, because my fiancé will remember everything for me anyway in much greater detail than I am capable of. I see it as a bonus. That's more space in my brain for science-y stuff.

Hahaha, yes, I would agree with that. I have noticed their keen ability to remember the tiniest of details normally comes at inopportune moments that works to my disadvantage though.

I’ve told my husband I married wrong when he’s complained about my jewelry habit

 

[mrsgreeneyes]

Is it weird that my eyes see more color in the F diamond than the G??

 

[LittleRed]

Is it weird that my eyes see more color in the F diamond than the G??

I see that too, but I’m guessing it’s the way the facets are situated in the F compared to the G. A video would probably be the best way to view this color comparison.

 

[sledge]

I see that too, but I’m guessing it’s the way the facets are situated in the F compared to the G. A video would probably be the best way to view this color comparison.

I was about to respond back with a similar answer. I think it's facets and light placement.

 

[marcy]

I doubt I can add anything all of you haven't brought up already but color, like inclusions; can never be unseen. Once you spot it, you will always be looking for it. IMO I would call BGD on Monday and see if they can find you a colorless signature ideal diamond that fits in your fiance's custom ring. They probably know what stones are coming in and can look for something specific. I doubt at this point in time they'd give you a refund. Good luck working everything out.

BTW, I saved some of the great memes about "fine". My husband will be on floor over some of them.

Marcy

 

[kindred]

This one made me laugh out loud, loudy!




I think there are some PSers who would disagree with this ring being big enough, though. Some would say "I can still lift my hand, not big enough!"

 

[mrsgreeneyes]

I think there are some PSers who would disagree with this ring being big enough, though. Some would say "I can still lift my hand, not big enough!"

Needs a halo.

 

[Lykame]

@sledge

I HAVE to post this video considering some of the comments here! It's not just for you, it's for everyone...

You know, my partner showed me this, and funnily enough it was such a useful thing for our relationship. I suddenly had a really easy way to communicate with him when something wasn't about the nail... it was almost like it gave me a way of expressing to him really easily that something either was about the nail and needed fixing, or wasn't...

I would almost recommend showing her this and being like, tell me, the diamond... is it or isn't it about the nail? Because I can fix it! But maybe there's nothing to fix and you don't want me to. Does she appreciate straightforward talking like that?

I have to be honest, I am also really colour sensitive, and although your [her] ring is stunningly beautiful, I have always been able to easily see the tint in all the pictures you've posted of the central stone. It's quite strong to me, and that's even knowing there is fluorescence there. That doesn't mean it's not an absolutely beautiful ring, but I do think it likely that she's seeing the diamond's actual colour and not surroundings etc.

I've mentioned in other places, the thing I just had not realised when I bought my ring was just HOW MUCH TIME I spend looking NOT at the 'face-up' appearance of my diamond, but the side view of my diamond and setting. Considering that's the view where the most tint can be seen, and considering how much of the side of the central diamond in her ring is exposed, it's not surprising that she would notice the tint if she's colour sensitive. But you know, you might be able to easily get away with a higher G colour - although that does have a tint as well, it's the only time I personally have ever looked at a stone and understood what people mean by 'warm' rather than tinted.

If it's something she does want sorted, I would totally recommend taking her diamond shopping specifically to figure out her colour threshold.

I suspect that this is an incredibly sensitive subject for both of you. You have invested your heart into this ring, and to you it is a reflection of everything you feel about her. I'm sure she knows that and values all the effort that you have put into this; it might make it a little more difficult for her to express any feelings about it to you that aren't 100% positive. I think you mentioned you were going to give things the weekend. Do so - properly just let it go for the whole of the weekend, then maybe give it a bit longer to see if she brings it up again - and if she doesn't, bring it up at the point when you know you can be completely relaxed and fine regardless of what she says.

I mean, I'm teaching you to suck eggs here, you're clearly a very thoughtful and considerate guy. I'm sure whatever happens this will work out perfectly, and as you're not time-limited by the return period, you can really take your time.

Best,
Lydia.

 

[Wewechew]

@sledge

I HAVE to post this video considering some of the comments here! It's not just for you, it's for everyone...

You know, my partner showed me this, and funnily enough it was such a useful thing for our relationship. I suddenly had a really easy way to communicate with him when something wasn't about the nail... it was almost like it gave me a way of expressing to him really easily that something either was about the nail and needed fixing, or wasn't...

I would almost recommend showing her this and being like, tell me, the diamond... is it or isn't it about the nail? Because I can fix it! But maybe there's nothing to fix and you don't want me to. Does she appreciate straightforward talking like that?

I have to be honest, I am also really colour sensitive, and although your [her] ring is stunningly beautiful, I have always been able to easily see the tint in all the pictures you've posted of the central stone. It's quite strong to me, and that's even knowing there is fluorescence there. That doesn't mean it's not an absolutely beautiful ring, but I do think it likely that she's seeing the diamond's actual colour and not surroundings etc.

I've mentioned in other places, the thing I just had not realised when I bought my ring was just HOW MUCH TIME I spend looking NOT at the 'face-up' appearance of my diamond, but the side view of my diamond and setting. Considering that's the view where the most tint can be seen, and considering how much of the side of the central diamond in her ring is exposed, it's not surprising that she would notice the tint if she's colour sensitive. But you know, you might be able to easily get away with a higher G colour - although that does have a tint as well, it's the only time I personally have ever looked at a stone and understood what people mean by 'warm' rather than tinted.

If it's something she does want sorted, I would totally recommend taking her diamond shopping specifically to figure out her colour threshold.

I suspect that this is an incredibly sensitive subject for both of you. You have invested your heart into this ring, and to you it is a reflection of everything you feel about her. I'm sure she knows that and values all the effort that you have put into this; it might make it a little more difficult for her to express any feelings about it to you that aren't 100% positive. I think you mentioned you were going to give things the weekend. Do so - properly just let it go for the whole of the weekend, then maybe give it a bit longer to see if she brings it up again - and if she doesn't, bring it up at the point when you know you can be completely relaxed and fine regardless of what she says.

I mean, I'm teaching you to suck eggs here, you're clearly a very thoughtful and considerate guy. I'm sure whatever happens this will work out perfectly, and as you're not time-limited by the return period, you can really take your time.

Best,
Lydia.

I’m sending this to my husband

 

[scarsmum]

Of course it could be @sledge that it was a passing comment and not something to fix.

 

[scarsmum]

 

[kindred]

I saw that video ages ago, and it's great the second time around, too.

The thing about "seeing color" in a white diamonds is that it is not necessarily a bad thing. Some people see a slight tint and it doesn't bother them. Others feel that they need a higher color.

 

[2Neezers]

I know this has been brought up before, but I am curious what color the walls are painted in the room you were in when she said her diamond was yellow? I have an H about the same size as yours. I used to think it was tinted yellow too, but most noticeably from the side and when at home. Our walls were painted a light tan/beige, not even a dark shade. About a year ago we switched our wall paint color throughout the house to a light airy gray, and my stone hasn’t shown that yellow tint since. I’m not saying that is the case in your situation, but just having the light beige color on our walls was making my stone look tinted from the side.
I love the setting you created and stone choice btw

 

[cflutist]

@sledge

It doesn't matter what other PSers think. It is what you and your beloved want and what satisfies you. I can tell you that I look at my rings many times a day. I had a 2.05 D-VS2 oval in the past and it was icy white. But I traded it in for my 3.01 F-SI1 pear, yes not as white as a D, but still a beautiful diamond.

And although I currently have four F color CBI diamonds, I also have a Q-VVS2. Yes, a Q as in Queen Pari. It is as beautiful as the rest of them and it is very tinted yellow.

The exquisite mounting that you designed does showcase a diamond in all its glory so the pavilion will be more visible than other settings. I like mine that way as well.

How about keep what you have now, get married, go on your honeymoon, set up your household, and make it a goal to upgrade in a few years? You could even set this diamond in a pendant and start with a brand new diamond in the future.

Good luck, wishing you many wonderful years together.

 

[skydiamond88]

@sledge i am also very color sensitive and can see some tint in my old F GIA XXX under certain lighting condition. I find my new E superideal to be icy white 99% of the time.

Does your fiance say anything about wanting an upgrade in terms of color? If she wants to change it, Maybe you two can go to see BGD F vs G and see whether she is ok with G or need an F or even an E.. bcos if she says it's slightly pastel yellow i think it bothers her enough..

@icy_jade was following your journey and wondering if you could give an update on your ring (with pictures pls!!). How do you find the G color after spending more time with it?

Hi I got a tag so here I am.

Firstly, I’m sorry to hear about this especially knowing how much effort you put into the ring. I do agree with what others have said about waiting before upgrading. I would also suggest to bring your fiancé to a diamond store to see how tolerant or intolerant she is to color. She may be super color sensitive and need an E or even a D. Or maybe she will be fine with a G. Big price diff so really is worth investigating.

I just picked up my G color diamond yesterday and I did some color testing on H and I CBI diamonds. I thought that maybe the H and I diamonds being super ideal could be tolerable but they looked yellow to me face up (I did not even have to look at side profiles). Maybe it’s the more lenient AGS grading but still... personally I was actually disappointed as I was hoping I could go down in color next time when DSS sets in but I guess it’s not meant to be...

As for my G, I do detect some color. Haven’t spent that much time with my new diamond so I can’t be 100% sure that the color tint really doesn’t bug me but so far I’m ok with it. It’s not disturbingly obviously “yellow” to me unlike the H or I. That said I didn’t dare to compare with an F or E diamond at the store.

Anyway my new diamond is a sparkle bomb! So I’m happy with it even with the tint.


Hope it all works out for you in the end. Pls keep us posted and I hope you can have an honest conversation with your fiancé. FWIW my husband got me a H colored diamond and while it bugged me I did really appreciate the effort behind it.

 

[sledge]

Sorry, thought I clarified this earlier but we just moved to a new place and it has tan/beige walls. Prior place had a nicer (IMO) light grey color. Regardless, I think the majority of those participating in this thread, myself included, have concluded the tint is not due to environmental factors. Additionally when we first had the "it's yellow" conversation, I asked how long she had noticed the tint because we now had different colored walls. She said basically from day one and she sees it regardless where she's at or the color of the walls.

FYI, tonight we talked a little about color. I avoided in-depth talks about what to do with her stone. I showed her the WF diamond color chart and asked where she started seeing yellow. Basically F down is what she identified. She said she could see a difference between D & E but it was very faint.

She said she even saw a very slight tint/yellow in the D. I advised her that was the best and it was colorless. I am not sure if she was picking up background colors from the chart or what. Maybe it was the computer screen. I then showed her the photos of @cflutist CBI F's on the side profile she was kind enough to post in another thread (and they look icy white, at least to me). She said she could see a little tint in those too which surprised me a bit as I thought they looked more white than some of F's in the WF color chart.

She was growing tired of my questions tonight and said she felt like she was a circus show with all the questions, etc. I told her I had one last question and asked her to identify the color she thought HER diamond was -- keep in mind, I have NOT divulged the color grade to her yet. I think she gave me an answer I wanted to hear, but she had guessed an F on the WF color chart. I told her that was incorrect and asked if she wanted a second guess. At this point I knew I was pushing my luck. She fired back it was probably D-F. I think that was a fluff answer to avoid hurting my feelings and so I'd leave her alone about the color tonight.

 

[HDer]

@sledge Do you think it's possible you're getting a little obsessed with this engagement ring?

I'm asking because when I got our ring I got WAY more into it than my SO. If she's not that into jewelry and she feels like it's turning into a circus show, then maybe her "it's fine" actually means that it's actually fine.

 

[Dancing Fire]

This one should fit into your current setting...

https://www.briangavindiamonds.com/...s/0.910-d-if-round-diamond-bkags-104100834006

 

[cflutist]

This one should fit into your current setting...

https://www.briangavindiamonds.com/...s/0.910-d-if-round-diamond-bkags-104100834006

Excellent choice, buy this diamond and be done with it.

 

[the_mother_thing]

@sledgeI'm asking because when I got our ring I got WAY more into it than my SO. If she's not that into jewelry and she feels like it's turning into a circus show, then maybe her "it's fine" actually means that it's actually fine.

My thought exactly (based on her reactions to things). I think there are two sides to ‘color sensitivity’: 1) being able to detect it AND being okay with or even appreciating it; and 2) being able to detect it and NOT appreciating/okay with it. @sledge it could be that your lady is in the first camp, and it really was merely an observation, but it doesn’t bother her. Have you been able to pin this down with her at all? I would be hard-pressed to spend the additional funds as well as take the risk of damaging the setting with a stone swap unless I knew that first. Some of us actually prefer the slight tint in lower colored diamonds for the character & dimension it adds, myself being one of them. I can see the color differences between my M & K, but it doesn’t bother me in the least.

If she seems uninterested in talking about it or perhaps afraid to hurt your feelings, I would gently but firmly explain: you want her happy, and you know these conversations may not be easy, but marriage will be full of difficult discussions, so no time like the present to communicate clearly about something difficult that does have financial implications one way or another to avoid letdown or resentment in the future if it’s something she really wants, and let her know this is the last time you’ll ask (and mean that). And if she again says "it’s fine/I love my ring/etc." I would personally take her word for it & let it go. Even if it’s a matter of "us women" and the stereotypical "it’s fine" not really being fine, at some point, we need to be accountable for our words, or be better communicators vs being coy or expecting our partners to be mind readers. Just my $0.02.

 

[ohsomethingshiny]

My thought exactly (based on her reactions to things). I think there are two sides to ‘color sensitivity’: 1) being able to detect it AND being okay with or even appreciating it; and 2) being able to detect it and NOT appreciating/okay with it. @sledge it could be that your lady is in the first camp, and it really was merely an observation, but it doesn’t bother her. Have you been able to pin this down with her at all? I would be hard-pressed to spend the additional funds as well as take the risk of damaging the setting with a stone swap unless I knew that first. Some of us actually prefer the slight tint in lower colored diamonds for the character & dimension it adds, myself being one of them. I can see the color differences between my M & K, but it doesn’t bother me in the least.

If she seems uninterested in talking about it or perhaps afraid to hurt your feelings, I would gently but firmly explain: you want her happy, and you know these conversations may not be easy, but marriage will be full of difficult discussions, so no time like the present to communicate clearly about something difficult that does have financial implications one way or another to avoid letdown or resentment in the future if it’s something she really wants, and let her know this is the last time you’ll ask (and mean that). And if she again says "it’s fine/I love my ring/etc." I would personally take her word for it & let it go. Even if it’s a matter of "us women" and the stereotypical "it’s fine" not really being fine, at some point, we need to be accountable for our words, or be better communicators vs being coy or expecting our partners to be mind readers. Just my $0.02.

+1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[MissGotRocks]

Yes, at this point I think I would sit down with her and offer her the chance to upgrade. I would make sure that she knew there were no hard feelings about it and that doing so would be fine. However, she does need to probably be involved in choosing another stone if that's the route she chooses. She made the comment, needs to own it and decide if it truly is fine or if she wants to fix it. Dancing around an issue is not effective problem solving for either party and this may well be your first experience with figuring something out to mutual satisfaction. Fingers crossed for you both!