Heartbroken and confused....

[purelily]

Heya Thomperchik... Things will start looking up. You are doing the best thing right now by taking some time out for yourself. Hang out with friends and family, post on the board

, and think about what you want. Things will be tough, but anyone who has gone through a break up knows, there is eventually a light at the end of the tunnel

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Thomper, it is so good to hear from you...

First of all, you didn''t make a mistake ending things with him, he wasn''t a good enough guy to deserve you and all you offer. This is a man who completely took a moment that is probably one of the single most signifigant moments in a womans life, a distroyed it totally and completely. There will never be a time where that memory wont be with you...and that makes me sad, because an engagement is such a special thing. Each and every time I think about what he did, I seriously get mad enough to punch him in the n****. Seriously, that''s a promise.

I am actually glad to hear he''s feeling badly about how he acted. As well he should. There is never a time when it is okay to take another persons hopes and dreams and **** all over them. Thomper, you''re probably right...you could have easily pushed aside your wants and needs and been a long distance girlfriend living off the occasional e-mail and phone call. You could have sat around and wasted the pretty years of your life waiting for his ship to come in so that you can be with him for a few days here and there. But, that still wouldn''t make him a good guy...and it still wouldn''t be fair to you.

It is perfectly okay to want a future with someone you love, even if they don''t share the same feelings in return. It is normal and healthy to want a marriage, and children, and a family. So please don''t second guess your desires or give them up for anyone...those are good things, and things you should be striving towards. Here is how I see it....you''re in love with a man that you want to have a life with...but that man doesn''t want those things with you...so, you''re willing to give up your desires for a man who won''t commit. It''s so wrong on so many levels.

I think that you need ignore his e-mails for the next 30 days. Give yourself some breathing room, seriously. Go out any buy yourself the book It''s A Called Breakup Because It''s Broken. Seriously. Read it cover to cover. Follow the advice in the book. Gain some prespective on things. If you''re tempted to write him, think about the moment he slipped that ring off your finger, and let that angry take away the desire. Right now, your ex is sitting over in Bahrain reliving what happened on loop...he''s seriously in the middle of nowhere with nothing but his feelings to get him through. Let him miss you. Let him see how missing you feels. This will give him prespective as well. So, eventually, if you come back together you can both revisit this relationship and its issues with fresh eyes.

((big hugs))

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Thomper, I just wanted to offer some support.

I've watched SO MANY women break up with their boyfriends because of lack of commitment only to go back because they felt guilty (or because going back to the relationsihp is more comfy than being alone)--it happens all the time to women who aren't ready to walk away. And it doesn't solve anything--you know the Einstein quote, right? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

You say that part of you wants to go back and the other part wants to stand firm...listen to the part that wants to stand firm You didn't overreact. This has nothing to do with you, he needs to figure this out for himself. You can't support him in doing that. If you were to go back, you'd be in the EXACT same situation.

I don't doubt that he loves you and cares about you, too, but you know that isn't enough for a marriage. If he really does regret what he did and is 100% ready for marriage, a herd of wild horses won't keep him from proposing to you (SINCERELY). For now he simply is not ready and you need to stay focused on your own life.

After I left my now-husband I was in rough shape initially--I felt guilty and felt I should have been more supportive. I even considered breaking no contact and doing "light contact" because I wanted him back in my life in some capacity. I didn't, thank goodness, but it was awful. D calls that his "growing pains" period--yes, it hurt, but that's because he was growing. It gave him a new level of respect for me and made him realize that if he wanted a chance to marry me, he needed to be much healthier (which led to his therapy). In any case, my point is that if he is very truthful about wanting to wrong his right, he will do it with much more than an email (D did this at the very beginning, too, until he really "got it").

In any case, stay strong and post whenever you need some support!!

 

[Thomperchik]

NewEnglandLady & Italiahaircolor - Thank you so much for being so supportive. I''m going to target tonight and pick up that book.

NEL - You''ve really put it up into perspective for me. I guess I''m not the only that goes through this. thank you!

 

[Porridge]

Hey Thomperchick! No you''re not the only one going through this, and we know it hurts and it''s just awful and it''s hard to imagine when it will fell ok again. But I just want to reiterate that you did the right thing, and that was a really brave thing to do! As much as it hurts now, it would be so much worse if you''d caved and stayed.

Good on ya girl, and things will look up!

 

[Thomperchik]

Update - I have been doing fine the last few days, until yesterday. I came home from work and I checked my email and it was an email from him. I guess he was ending it on his side and of course he did it through an email.

This is what he said,

" I just wanted to say hi.. So do think things are going to work out? I love you to death, I just dont feel like things are the same..miss. Are you feeling like things are okay?. I just feel like you want a break from me... I can understand that.. I just feel so bad for things being the way they are.. I wish I could change it, but I know I can''t... I read something today about "if you love someone, you have to let them free"... I just want you to be free to make your own choices.. I love you, but I need to let you free.. "

I don''t think he understood when I told him that I wanted a break, I guess he held on to the fact that we were still dating. This just totally turned me off. I think he felt the need to end it on his own terms, even though we had already discussed this. I called him shortly after that and told him that I didn''t want to ever hear from him again. He gave me a million excuses why our relationship was ending, but never took responsibility for not being honest with me and leading me on. I think the part that p**** me off the most is that he said that the reason why he was being like that was because he was deployed. I can''t believe he will not take responsibility for his own actions and to make it worst blames it on the military. F that!

I am sooooooooooo glad I finally got to see his true colors! I''m done and I think this is what I really needed to move on with my life!

 

[Bia]

Thomperchick: He sounds like he's trying to clear his conscience. Any idiot would know you don't do that (what he did to you) to someone you love, you just don't. No excuses. His email is an attempt to convince you (maybe just himself) that he's not at fault for what happened, i.e., "I love you to death...things just aren't the same...yadda yadda yadda." Please

...preach to the choir...

You're doing the best thing possible. And although it hurts, aren't you relieved that you won't be marrying someone who can be so callous and un-loving?

You should be proud of yourself, really. (((HUGS)))

 

[mrscushion]

Thanks for the update, Thomperchik. I am so sorry that just when you were doing okay, he sent you that e-mail. I hope you feel better. What a strange e-mail to send, after you guys already had a discussion where you said you didn't want to be in a relationship were you were hurt like that, and that you needed to do your own thing and heal (aka end things). I agree with your analysis as well as with the previous poster, I think he's just trying to clear HIS conscience, leave things where HE wants to leave them ... and I just can't appreciate that at all. Ugh. Please stand strong and remit this guy to your past.

 

[fieryred33143]

Thomp

You really are someone to look up to seriously. You took what would have been a heartbreaking moment for anyone and turned it into a shining moment for you. You are being so strong and so in tune with what you want out of life. That is amazing.

Hang in there. This too shall pass.

 

[Definitely. Maybe]

Like Bia said it sounds like he is just trying to clear his conscience. It’s unfair of him to do that to you and I think you are a strong and admirable person to be able to see through that email. Honestly, if it were me I probably would have been thinking (because of the way he worded it against you) “oh… well… wait, maybe I did do something wrong.” So, I am so glad to hear how well you are dealing with this. I really look up to you and wish you the best. Keep your head up! Everything will work out for you and your best interest.

 

[Still_Waiting]

Date: 1/30/2009 11:26:30 AM
Author: fieryred33143
Thomp

You really are someone to look up to seriously. You took what would have been a heartbreaking moment for anyone and turned it into a shining moment for you. You are being so strong and so in tune with what you want out of life. That is amazing.

Hang in there. This too shall pass.

I second fieryred! I am amazed at your strength!

Don''t forget that you are doing EXACTLY the right thing...and I REALLY admire that! Keep your chin up. It WILL get better!!! (((HUGS!)))

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I''m glad you are seeing his true colors as well--this is typical behavior for a boy, not a man. He''s not taking responsibility for his behavior. "I wish I could change things, but I can''t." That isn''t what a mature man would say. You''re doing really well, Thomper, you should be very happy with yourself. You''re handling this like a classy woman and are not allowing yourself to try to be guilt-tripped.

We''re always here for support!

 

[Kelli]

I never post in this forum, but I''m SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry for what happened to you. How awful of him!

I''m just happy you''re not giving him any more of a chance to hurt you. You will find love again and don''t need this!

 

[OUpearlgirl]

Thomper.. I wish I could just come there and give you a big hug. I went through a terrible break up back in October. I thought I''d marry him, but something in him changed. One thing that I had to remind myself OVER AND OVER (and sometimes I still remind myself.. over.. and over..) is that there is no way to figure out why he changed. There is no way to completely understand what he is thinking. HIS problems are not YOUR problems.

Italia''s suggestion is great. PLEASE go buy It''s Called a Breakup Because It''s Broken. It is so wonderful and gives great advice. You will laugh through it, you will cry, but it will help you make the right decision. I commend you for being so strong.

I wish we could PM or something, but if you would like to you can ask an Admin for my e-mail. I am on the other side of a breakup now, where things are finally positive again. If you need to talk, I am SO there for you.

PS was very helpful during my breakup, and I think it will be for you too! If you ever feel the need to contact him, get on here instead!!

 

[DebShine]

Thomper,
Just letting you know that once again, I think you are so doing the right thing, and your feelings and very normal. Feel them, look at them, and then let them go when the time is right for you.

I was married for 13 years and in a matter of two months, my marriage was over. I had found out he had been doing some major drugs and lying about them. I was DEVASTATED. He got p***** that I was angry. He was saying things that didn''t make sense. He was calling me crazy. He was doing everything he could to blame this outcome on ME. It was very sad. I was rejected for a more partying lifestyle. ANd this was after 2 kids, a house we built, numerous moves and job changes.

That was 2 years ago. Today, after MUCH crying and blaming and doubting myself - many pity parties and sleepless nights, I''ve come to realize that everything everyone was telling me is true. I am better off without him. I could on and on about the growing I have done and how good it feels, but I won''t bore you!

THANK GOD you didn''t have to experience this after children and marriage. Your life is going to be great from here on out, I just know it.

Someday, you will look at this time period and be very grateful, that you went through it - I promise!

PROUD OF YOU and WISHING YOU THE BEST!
Debby

 

[DebShine]

Jeesh - sorry about my awful grammar above! Wrote way too quick!

 

[tlh]

Thomper... You are awesome. He''s a turd. Ok... maybe not.. but did that make you feel better?

Some guys just want to "be the good guy" and really they are wusses and just dont want to do the dirty work of ending things. Hmm... can I go back to my original statement? He''s a turd.

HUGE HUGS! Here''s some icecream... it always makes me feel better!

 

[Thomperchik]

I can''t stress enough how much I appreciate all the positive energy I''ve received from PS. I know this is probably not the right place to be negative Nancy, but I''m grateful to be able to vent and receive the advice I''ve been given from everyone on this board! I know slowly but surely the pain will go away. I started reading that book yesterday and it is pretty funny, and it has definitely brought a lot of things into perspective! Thanks again to Italianhaircolor for advising me to buy that book.

OUpeargirl - I remember following your story back in Oct. I''m glad to see you''re doing well now! You''re right, I will never know and it''s killing me but I remind myself that it''s not healthy to think back to what happen. I am really starting to believe that he''s just like that, and I just didn''t know it!

Debshine - thanks for sharing your personal story. I can''t even imagine what you went through. I''m glad to see you got out and succumb the situation.

To everyone else, again, thank you soooo much for the support! PS really is more than a diamond educational board!

 

[Thomperchik]

Date: 1/30/2009 3:00:13 PM
Author: tlh
Thomper... You are awesome. He''s a turd. Ok... maybe not.. but did that make you feel better?

Some guys just want to ''be the good guy'' and really they are wusses and just dont want to do the dirty work of ending things. Hmm... can I go back to my original statement? He''s a turd.

HUGE HUGS! Here''s some icecream... it always makes me feel better!

Thanks tlh! Not going to lie, that is pretty funny!!!! He''s a big one too!

 

[SparklyLibra]

Date: 1/30/2009 12:19:51 PM
Author: Still_Waiting

Date: 1/30/2009 11:26:30 AM

Author: fieryred33143

Thomp


You really are someone to look up to seriously. You took what would have been a heartbreaking moment for anyone and turned it into a shining moment for you. You are being so strong and so in tune with what you want out of life. That is amazing.


Hang in there. This too shall pass.

I second fieryred! I am amazed at your strength!


Don''t forget that you are doing EXACTLY the right thing...and I REALLY admire that! Keep your chin up. It WILL get better!!! (((HUGS!)))

I third fireyred and second Italia. I have a friend who is in a situation where she has basically settled for being with a man who does not want to marry her after 3 kids and 10 years. She basically does not want to be alone and has sold herself FAR too short. It''s to the point now where he has ZERO respect for her. He is fully aware that she has such low self esteem that she "would never leave him".

I know this story is far from what you''re going through, but it just goes to show that the minute you sell yourself short and sacrifice your heart''s desires for someone who doesn''t feel the same way for you... Well you see how it can turn out.

Just imagine how he would proceed to mistreat & disrespect you had you not stood up for yourself. Well now you''ve taught him that you have respect for yourself and therefore will not settle for anything less from any man.

Best of luck to you.

(((((HUGS))))

 

[caribqueen]

Thomper, looking forward, just think how wonderful it will be to spot the real gem of a guy when he''s in front of you. These are the experiences that help us determine what we want and don''t want in a life-partner.

This too shall pass.

 

[honey22]

As I was reading through most of the posts, one nagging question remained! Who in the hell was he emailing? Are you sure you are the only one? Sorry sweetie, but I have a sneaking suspicion that the email may be to a ''friend'' that is probably superkeen to take your place and your ring!

Good on you for letting this one go, he sounds like an A**HOLE!

Keep smiling, eat a packet of Timtams, a whole tub of icecream and then get your booty down to a good jewellers and have that engagement ring turned into a nice pendant - you deserve is sweetie!!

Good luck!!

 

[purelily]

Thomperchik, what an ass he is. Just to let you know, many people have been where you are and we are here to support you. I had a similar experience....My ex-fiance took my ring off during my 26th birthday party in front of my friends and family and said "I should give this to someone who deserves it" or something along those lines. I almost cried, but I kept my composure smiled and turned back to the friend I was talking to. ETA: I should have left him at that moment, but I stayed with him for 11 more months ( my friends and family thought I was crazy) before deciding to leave him. He gave me the same speech your ex gave you, but then he asked me to come back to him. I refused, and then I met my soul mate who is now in the midst of figuring out how he's going to propose.

You did the right thing and had way more courage than I did. ( I applaud you for your strength!) I just want to say you should look forward to the future.Turn your back on what was, and be happy that he is no longer blocking you from finding your true love.

After your message about his email, I adamantly agree with the other PS members that he was not worth your time. It is a break up because it is broken. I can't stress that enough. A deal breaker is a deal breaker.


PS: This message has been edited almost 6 times

 

[swom324]

May I add my story? (Yes, longtime lurker.) I was to be married last June. Three weeks before the wedding he called it off. I asked him to reconsider for one more day, his answer was the same. I knew that I wanted to marry someone who was as thrilled about it as me, and obviously he wasn''t. We were kind of left hanging as to where we were going after that. Then a month later, he said he did want to marry. I said there were a lot of things to talk through before I would consider it. The next day he EMAILED that he changed his mind AGAIN - no marriage. That was the end for me. Of course I was very sad, but I knew it was the right thing to do. A month later he emailed a PITIFUL plea that I marry him. I said no, never. I would not ever put myself back on that roller-coaster.

Here''s the good part. I started seeing someone whom I had dated once several years ago, and kept in touch with as a friend. We are now engaged (I know, a very short time). We are so certain of each other. I never really believed in love at first sight, soul-mates, etc. I do now. He couldn''t wait to propose. It is so wonderful to be with someone who WANTS to be with you, now and forever. I am actually grateful to the ex-fiance for making this possible. So, you just never know what''s around the corner.

Best wishes and good luck to you. Stay strong and take care of YOU. All will be fine.

 

[Thomperchik]

Date: 2/2/2009 3:10:35 PM
Author: swom324
May I add my story? (Yes, longtime lurker.) I was to be married last June. Three weeks before the wedding he called it off. I asked him to reconsider for one more day, his answer was the same. I knew that I wanted to marry someone who was as thrilled about it as me, and obviously he wasn''t. We were kind of left hanging as to where we were going after that. Then a month later, he said he did want to marry. I said there were a lot of things to talk through before I would consider it. The next day he EMAILED that he changed his mind AGAIN - no marriage. That was the end for me. Of course I was very sad, but I knew it was the right thing to do. A month later he emailed a PITIFUL plea that I marry him. I said no, never. I would not ever put myself back on that roller-coaster.

Here''s the good part. I started seeing someone whom I had dated once several years ago, and kept in touch with as a friend. We are now engaged (I know, a very short time). We are so certain of each other. I never really believed in love at first sight, soul-mates, etc. I do now. He couldn''t wait to propose. It is so wonderful to be with someone who WANTS to be with you, now and forever. I am actually grateful to the ex-fiance for making this possible. So, you just never know what''s around the corner.

Best wishes and good luck to you. Stay strong and take care of YOU. All will be fine.

Swom - that''s horrible! I know how you feel though. Thanks for the confidence boost! I know in time I will find my prince charming!

P.S. Congratulations on your engagement!

 

[Bia]

Date: 2/3/2009 9:39:07 AM
Author: Thomperchik

Date: 2/2/2009 3:10:35 PM
Author: swom324
May I add my story? (Yes, longtime lurker.) I was to be married last June. Three weeks before the wedding he called it off. I asked him to reconsider for one more day, his answer was the same. I knew that I wanted to marry someone who was as thrilled about it as me, and obviously he wasn''t. We were kind of left hanging as to where we were going after that. Then a month later, he said he did want to marry. I said there were a lot of things to talk through before I would consider it. The next day he EMAILED that he changed his mind AGAIN - no marriage. That was the end for me. Of course I was very sad, but I knew it was the right thing to do. A month later he emailed a PITIFUL plea that I marry him. I said no, never. I would not ever put myself back on that roller-coaster.

Here''s the good part. I started seeing someone whom I had dated once several years ago, and kept in touch with as a friend. We are now engaged (I know, a very short time). We are so certain of each other. I never really believed in love at first sight, soul-mates, etc. I do now. He couldn''t wait to propose. It is so wonderful to be with someone who WANTS to be with you, now and forever. I am actually grateful to the ex-fiance for making this possible. So, you just never know what''s around the corner.

Best wishes and good luck to you. Stay strong and take care of YOU. All will be fine.

Swom - that''s horrible! I know how you feel though. Thanks for the confidence boost! I know in time I will find my prince charming!

P.S. Congratulations on your engagement!

Wow! Where do these guys come from???!!!

 

[Winks_Elf]

Thomper, ((((BIG HUG!))))

I just wanted to add my story. My ex-husband and I have a very long history, mostly of him cheating, me forgiving, and taking him back. We met at age 16, were good friends until we started dating at age 18, and we lived together for three years. During that time, he cheated on me three times before I finally got the "ehems" to kick him to the curb, and move on. Fast forward seven years, and me being a single mother, he called me in March of ''99 when his father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I knew if we ever got back together what would happen, but I loved him so much I went for it. Anyway, his dad died in the end of July of that year, and our first child together was born 9 months and 2 weeks later. Things were happy for a while, we got married when out first was a little over 2, and I should have trusted my gut instincts. We went on to have more children, and things did seem wonderful for a few years, but then he cheated on me with my supposed friend. She kicked her husband out of the house just 4 months after marrying him, and a few months later I got the gut feeling that something wasn''t right with my husband. I confronted him, and the POS admitted there was something going on. The two of them sat there, declaring their love for each other, and I thought I was going to die of a broken heart that night. I was ready to forgive him, go to counseling to repair the marriage, but all he could say was "I love her." I asked him to leave that night, and he had the gall to be shocked. I told him, "you don''t think you''re going to drop this bomb on me, and I''m going to let you stay here tonight!" He left, and I spent the night crying, feeling like my guts had been torn out, while I lay staring at the curtains in our bedroom and our three-week-old daughter nursed on and off.

I tried to make the marriage work with him, tried to get him to come home, and we did wind up sleeping together many times over the course of two and a half years, always with the promise that the was coming back and we were going to make the marriage work...even AFTER we got divorced! I realized that he just can''t help himself. He has cheated on every woman he''s ever been with, and left person A for person B. He''s also got other issues aside from being a cheater. He put me and the kids through hell with his false promises and indecision, as well as other situations that I just don''t even care to revisit, so I moved on.

A mutual friend of ours has known everything that I''ve been through, and we''ve been friends independent of my ex throughout the years. Back when I was pregnant with my first child, I had proposed to him, but he wasn''t ready for marriage at that point, and then I wound up back together with my now ex, so C stepped back. Fast forward to St. Patrick''s day of 2007, and we were talking on the phone, and he told me his greatest regret was not saying yes when I proposed. We started talking seriously about the possibility of being a couple, marriage, etc., and decided that we would eventually begin a courtship. Fast forward again, and we''ve been courting since July, and we each know exactly what we want. I don''t have to pretend to be something I am not, he''s known me through many different phases of my life, and we are very happily planning our wedding for October. Life does go on, the pain of a broken heart does die down eventually, and we learn to cope with our pain as we pick up the pieces. I won''t pretend that there aren''t times when my anger resurfaces, even now (almost three years later), but that''s more because I was stupid enough to trust the biggest piece of crap rather than my own instincts.

 

[Bia]

Date: 2/3/2009 10:04:37 AM
Author: Winks_Elf
Thomper, ((((BIG HUG!))))

I just wanted to add my story. My ex-husband and I have a very long history, mostly of him cheating, me forgiving, and taking him back. We met at age 16, were good friends until we started dating at age 18, and we lived together for three years. During that time, he cheated on me three times before I finally got the ''ehems'' to kick him to the curb, and move on. Fast forward seven years, and me being a single mother, he called me in March of ''99 when his father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I knew if we ever got back together what would happen, but I loved him so much I went for it. Anyway, his dad died in the end of July of that year, and our first child together was born 9 months and 2 weeks later. Things were happy for a while, we got married when out first was a little over 2, and I should have trusted my gut instincts. We went on to have more children, and things did seem wonderful for a few years, but then he cheated on me with my supposed friend. She kicked her husband out of the house just 4 months after marrying him, and a few months later I got the gut feeling that something wasn''t right with my husband. I confronted him, and the POS admitted there was something going on. The two of them sat there, declaring their love for each other, and I thought I was going to die of a broken heart that night. I was ready to forgive him, go to counseling to repair the marriage, but all he could say was ''I love her.'' I asked him to leave that night, and he had the gall to be shocked. I told him, ''you don''t think you''re going to drop this bomb on me, and I''m going to let you stay here tonight!'' He left, and I spent the night crying, feeling like my guts had been torn out, while I lay staring at the curtains in our bedroom and our three-week-old daughter nursed on and off.

I tried to make the marriage work with him, tried to get him to come home, and we did wind up sleeping together many times over the course of two and a half years, always with the promise that the was coming back and we were going to make the marriage work...even AFTER we got divorced! I realized that he just can''t help himself. He has cheated on every woman he''s ever been with, and left person A for person B. He''s also got other issues aside from being a cheater. He put me and the kids through hell with his false promises and indecision, as well as other situations that I just don''t even care to revisit, so I moved on.

Winks, I''m shocked.

I can''t even imagine what a mess that was. To do that to not only you but your children is reprehensible.

Just goes to show what a weak and insecure man your ex really is. You must be rejoicing in knowing that you will never again subject yourself to such treatment. Good for you!

 

[Winks_Elf]

Oh, yeah...it was a mess. He stopped paying the mortgage for 6 months because he "would rather see the house go into foreclosure than to give" me a dime, stopped paying the bills, provided no financial support for the kids (finally got his wages garnished last October...first payment was 12/24/07), he doesn't see the kids during the summer months with absolutely no explanation whatsoever, and that's not even discussing the more seedy aspects of the fallout of his ego.

Good riddance indeed.

 

[Miscka]

Date: 2/2/2009 3:10:35 PM
Author: swom324
May I add my story? (Yes, longtime lurker.) I was to be married last June. Three weeks before the wedding he called it off. I asked him to reconsider for one more day, his answer was the same. I knew that I wanted to marry someone who was as thrilled about it as me, and obviously he wasn''t. We were kind of left hanging as to where we were going after that. Then a month later, he said he did want to marry. I said there were a lot of things to talk through before I would consider it. The next day he EMAILED that he changed his mind AGAIN - no marriage. That was the end for me. Of course I was very sad, but I knew it was the right thing to do. A month later he emailed a PITIFUL plea that I marry him. I said no, never. I would not ever put myself back on that roller-coaster.


Here''s the good part. I started seeing someone whom I had dated once several years ago, and kept in touch with as a friend. We are now engaged (I know, a very short time). We are so certain of each other. I never really believed in love at first sight, soul-mates, etc. I do now. He couldn''t wait to propose. It is so wonderful to be with someone who WANTS to be with you, now and forever. I am actually grateful to the ex-fiance for making this possible. So, you just never know what''s around the corner.


Best wishes and good luck to you. Stay strong and take care of YOU. All will be fine.

I could have written the second half of this post. Well, I am not engaged, but still.

Thomper I am so sorry this happened to you, but PLEASE know that someone will come along who is as excited about the future as you are, and there is NO feeling like it!