Adoption Thread

[diamondseeker2006]

Yay, congrats, Bella!!!

I also use the term birthmother or birthparent. I can't really recall anyone speaking about her birthparents to me, so I can't really say I've had to deal with it. There were a few odd comments when she was an infant and there weren't as many internationally adopted kids as there are now, but I don't recall anyone ever referring to the birthparents as "real" parents. BUT, if they did, I would quickly point out that I am her real mother, and did they mean the "birthmother"???

 

[onedrop]

Congratulations Bella!

IG: Best wishes to you with the new match, and the commission!

 

[ImperfectGirl]

Penn - thinking of you and your family!

Bella - I hope you're having a blast!

AFM...our birthmom is 32w3d. We got in some additional medical records yesterday. Everything looks healthy with the baby and the birthmom. I feel myself getting more attached and invested as we get closer. I'm just trying not to think too much about it and I've yet to buy anything at all for this baby. We should retain an attorney for the birthmom later this week and then there's nothing left to do but wait.

Thank you all for the support and the well wishes with my commission application. I had to pull out of the process because DH just found out he has to retrain to a different career field in the AF and will be in school for about a year and then we will PCS. I'm hoping we are moved somewhere nice! There are only 8 bases worldwide where he'll be able to work so the options are pretty limited but none of them are terrible places so I'm pretty excited.

 

[Lanie]

So excited for you IG!!! Prayers and dust that everything goes as planned.

Bella -- congrats to the 3 of you!!! Can't wait to see pics!!! When do you come back? How has the adjustment been for him so far?

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Okay, we've been without internet for nearly two weeks, but here goes take two for attaching pics...

Bonding is going great. We're co-sleeping, but he is a major wiggleworm, so we'll be glad to transition him to his crib at home. We're going to keep the crib configuration right now since he is so wiggly (he fell out of bed yesterday!)

He's a goofy, hilarious, stubborn, sensitive, imaginative, gorgeous kid and we can't imagine him not being our son! He has started peeing in his diaper more, but goes on the po-po every time we put him on it and will only poop on the po-po, so I'll take it

We're using a combination of disposable (Target Up & Up) and cloth diapers (mother ease one size, Sandys, or cloth-eez pre-folds with thirsties or applecheeks cover) and I have to say the cloth diapers are great! We haven't had any leaks with either

 

[Trekkie]

Oh, wow! You are a mommy, CONGRATULATIONS!

And he is gorgeous!!!!

 

[Loves Vintage]

Bella!!!!!!!!!!, He's GORGEOUS!! So happy to hear from you and to hear that everything is going so well!!

I have some questions. Of course, feel free to answer as you feel comfortable. Does he have any idea what is in store for him? Are there specific things recommended to ease the transition? Will you keep in touch with his family? I think you mentioned an aunt.

Oh, I also wanted to mention -- you might look into "side-carring" his crib when you get back, if you think he won't be comfy sleeping on his own right away. For ex, http://www.freewebs.com/sidecarcrib/.

Again, so so so so so happy for you!!!!!!!

 

[Puppmom]

Bella, I've been way too busy to post lately but have been checking in. I have to say that B is about the most gorgeous little dude I have ever laid my eyes on! You lucky lucky lady!

 

[zoebartlett]

Bella, he's gorgeous. I'm so happy for you! I lurk here from time to time and I wanted to wish everyone well on their journey to mommy/daddyhood.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

thanks so much everyone!!! We think he is gorgeous too

We went to immigration today to have his passport issued, once that is done (4-7 days) we can have his medical exam for his visa and then be submitted to Embassy. barring any issues with paperwork or a random investigation, we should be home by the end of August!

LV-He's doing great. He was pretty introverted when we first met him, but has gotten really comfortable with us and is goofy and affectionate and silly when we're alone in our room. When other people are around, he gets quieter, but he's started to gently hold onto us rather than just let random people pick him up which is great...we're still working on that I brought my two favorite and most practical adoption books with us and DH is finally reading them which is great (they are "The Connected Child" and "Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child" in case you are interested)...

We've worked a lot on eye contact and he is an active kid but loves to snuggle. LOVES being in his "bomba" (the Boba toddler carrier). Loves reading, balls, and cars. He is picking up english crazy fast and spends most of the day saying "mama, this is?" meaning, what is the english word for this, and "daddy, kassie" meaning, daddy please get my ball out from under the bed He can knows all the basic animals and their sounds, can recite most of Brown Bear Brown Bear, loves "A Mother for Choco" and is crazy about Guess How Much I Love You (he can say the title and then says, "nuh banana ha, diiiiiiiiiisssss mucha"

 

[Loves Vintage]

Bella - Thank you, that is sooo sweet. That last paragraph brought tears to my eyes. My heart is filled with happiness for you and your family. I really mean that. I am so so pleased to read about how things are going. Thank you for sharing a glimpse of this very special time with us.

 

[lliang_chi]

Bella! So glad you and your family are doing well. Have explored the rest of ET yet? Wow you've got yourself a total heart breaker there!

IG, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you! Hope you end up somewhere you like, best of luck for your DH and the move! SOOO excited to hear what's going with you and the new little one!

Penn, you must be super busy with C! we're thinking of you!

~LC

 

[ImperfectGirl]

OMG Bella, I just cried and cried after reading your posts and viewing the pictures of B. I'm overcome with happiness for you and your family. I cannot imagine the feeling of hugging and snuggling your son after so many months of paperwork, waiting, and anticipation. My heart is bursting with joy for you! And what a gorgeous little boy he is! Congratulations!!! I can't wait to hear more about the little guy!

 

[ImperfectGirl]

IG, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you! Hope you end up somewhere you like, best of luck for your DH and the move! SOOO excited to hear what's going with you and the new little one!


~LC

Thanks LC! And I just popped over to the barely preggo thread and saw that you are expecting! Congratulations mama! You are always so supportive in FHH and I'm just so thrilled for you!

 

[dcgator]

Bella - OMG, he is absolutely a handsome little guy! You are truely blessed mama and I am so happy for you! I bet your heart just melts everytime he says mama b/c I know that I am getting all emotional overhere, hehe. That is amazing just how fast he is picking up English too. I hope that the rest of the immigration/visa process goes smoothly and that you and your new addition to the family will be back in the US soon. Congrats again and please do keep the pics and updates coming!

IG - I am keeping you in my thoughts and I continue to wish you nothing but a good outcome this time. I am sorry that you had to withdraw from the commission stuff, but I'm sure everything will work out well with your DH's new MOS and move. Btw, if he gets assigned to a particular AFB on the west coast of FL, we will be neighbors Big hug lady.

 

[MonkeyPie]

Bella, he is seriously the cutest little guy EVER! And he has good taste - Guess How Much I Love You is my favorite, too.

 

[Skippy123]

Bella, he is a beautiful child!!! awwww, I love him; I bet you are over the moon!!! MANY MANY CONGRATS!!! I am so happy for you

IG, sending good vibes yours and your hubby's way!! hugs

 

[Dreamer_D]

Bella such wonderful news to see how well B is doing and how well your family is bonding! He is a looker indeed. I think you will be in trouble when he is a teenager He sounds a lot like my son Hunter, who is the same age. Full of energy, oh my goodness the evergy, and full of fun and laughs. And your B will test your last nerve too, just wait! It is all great fun.

 

[ImperfectGirl]

IG - I am keeping you in my thoughts and I continue to wish you nothing but a good outcome this time. I am sorry that you had to withdraw from the commission stuff, but I'm sure everything will work out well with your DH's new MOS and move. Btw, if he gets assigned to a particular AFB on the west coast of FL, we will be neighbors Big hug lady.

Thanks DC! That base was definitely in our top 3!

 

[Logan Sapphire]

Bella, he's so beautiful and handsome!!! What a cutie pie! You guys must be in heaven with your little fella...

 

[ImperfectGirl]

I'm feeling so down today...birthmom is 34w3d and nobody has heard from her in 2 weeks. Our caseworker assured us that it doesn't necessarily mean that things are falling apart. Maybe she needs some time alone, maybe she's on vacation, maybe this, maybe that...It's just getting harder and harder to remain optimistic. The caseworker sent her a labor bag with some necessities and goodies with a note to please check in so she's giving her to the end of the week to do so. And if she has changed her mind, that is totally fine! Just tell someone! I really would prefer to know now vs. when the baby is 1 day old. Gah, I'm just so tired...

Sorry for the vent

 

[lliang_chi]

IG, Hugs to you my friend. I'm sorry to hear about this rollercoaster you're on. I'm thinking of you and your family. I hope the Birth mother just needs some time. You have been so positive and so amazing during this whole process, I'm so in awe of your grace and fortitude. Keep your head high and stay positive. You have a whole thread pulling for you and your family will be together soon.

~LC

 

[ImperfectGirl]

IG, Hugs to you my friend. I'm sorry to hear about this rollercoaster you're on. I'm thinking of you and your family. I hope the Birth mother just needs some time. You have been so positive and so amazing during this whole process, I'm so in awe of your grace and fortitude. Keep your head high and stay positive. You have a whole thread pulling for you and your family will be together soon.

~LC

Thank you for the encouraging words LC...I did receive an email from the birthmom a few minutes ago. So all is right in the world again. Just hope it stays this way!

 

[Loves Vintage]

Yay! Happy to hear that, IG. And, wow, 34 weeks and 3 days already! Each day, you are one step closer toward meeting little Avery! Still, I can only imagine how tough that waiting can be when you aren't in regular communication with the birth mom. I hope that regular communication continues!

 

[yssie]

Bella - another late CONGRATULATIONS!! Gosh, he's so handsome

 

[Bella_mezzo]

thanks so much Yssie, we think he's handsome too

IG-I am so glad that you heard from her! Hope that she stays in contact through her delivery and that you are Avery's mama soon!!! I know that it is such a harrowing experience and waiting is no fun!!! BIG HUGS!!!

B's passport should be done today, medical exam tomorrow and then if all goes well, our paperwork should be submitted to the US Embassy on Tuesday!

 

[Lanie]

Bella -- hope everything goes smoothly and that you come home soon!

IG -- that's wonderful news! My heart sank with your 2nd to last post, but now that all is well, I'm so happy for you!

 

[dcgator]

Bella - Yeah, you will be home in the US with your little boy soon. I look forward to seeing more pics of your handsome little guy

IG - OMG, when I read your first post, I was about to start crying, but I was SOOOO relieved to read your 2nd post. I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and hope that everything goes well. Please let me know what happens with the move too.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Sigh....well, I'm not totally sure where to post this, so I figured with all my adoption peeps is the best place...here is the good the bad and the ugly about international adoption...

We are not being submitted to Embassy today so if we are submitted next Tuesday then we'll be cutting it really close to get B's visa in time for our currently scheduled flights which are for 8/26 (if the embassy has any questions or requires any additional info or takes any extra time reviewing our file we would miss our flight).

We're frustrated b/c the things that are taking longer are things that our agency has complete control over (document translations, when they review our documents and prepare them for submission, and making sure that our medical exam and B's vaccines are taken care of--we spent 4 hours yesterday at a clinic with our agency rep's assistant only to learn that they won't have the vaccines for B until tomorrow...um, then why didn't our agency just get our appt for Wednesday!?!?!?!?!?) The docs that still need to be translated/reviewed our agency has had for at least a month and in many cases several months, so we don't understand why that is a delay!

Ticket prices and availability have unexpectedly sky rocketed, so it is not easy to change our tickets and it actually significantly cheaper to buy new tickets on a whole other airline rather than to change our tickets. So, we need to come up with at least another $1000 to get the cheapest ticket option on another airline and we have to guess if one additional week will be enough...

DH will be going back to the States on our regularly scheduled tickets so that he can start class which means that I will be in Addis on my own with B (not an issue in terms of parenting--he's great, just boring to be on your own here and we are going to have to try to skype a lot so that B doesn't feel like his dad abandonded him). Also, it means that we have a hard deadline of the third week of September to be back in the US b/c my maternity leave ends the end of September (please God let us be home on 8/6 or 9/2 at the latest!!! We are praying very much for this!!!)

AND, OUR AGENCY"S MAIN IN-COUNTRY STAFF PERSON IS APPARENTLY IN THE US FOR THE NEXT FEW WEEKS AND THEY DIDN"T EVEN TELL US! 1.-he has power of attorney for us, so it's kind of important that we know that. 2.-we are IN ETHIOPIA, perhaps they should have let us know that he was leaving and just his assistants would be taking care of our process from here on out!

We are pretty irritated, frustrated, pissed, and upset right now!

Oh, on top of all this, I had some weird spotting for one day a few days before my period was due but totally missed my period (which was due almost 2 weeks ago). Pregnancy tests are negative, but I have never in my life missed a period (not even in stressful situations, and until this past week I wasn't stressed at all...I go to bed at 8pm every night with B and take a nap everyday, pretty much we eat and sleep and play with B and that's it ....I had my period right after we got here, but this month's is totally AWOL)

We are ready to be done and home!!!

Sorry for the mini-rant! Yesterday was a really bad day

IG-hope that things are going well for you and that Avery is here safe and sound and in your arms soon!!!!

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Oh, and I forgot to mention re the period thing, I wouldn't mind so much but I've been having cramps since then and random flashes of nauseous (but with no vomiting or anything).